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The Time Has Come!

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by kateykate, Oct 18, 2005.

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  1. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    My first foray in to the world of John Stone's fitness forum came about a few weeks back when I was googling "Criss Angel + hoax". I chanced upon this forum and saw Krosspyder's avatar, and thought (honestly) that he looked like a personal trainer I'd seen on some show I'd watched about Bridezillas. I was amazed to learn that he was (relatively speaking) an *average* guy like the rest of the world, and not some superman with amazing fitness capabilities. He just made the most of what he had. Set his mind to a task, and achieved it. Inspirational stuff.

    A few days of ferreting around the forums, and I found the main page, and John Stone's photos. :eek:

    Over the last 2 (?) weeks, I had the realisation. We're all normal people. I read Guava's journal, and could relate so well to her talking about how previously she would mentally tick "large frame" when referring to height weight charts, about herself. I've been there.

    So what now?

    Well, you people inspire me. :D

    I got really sick a few months back with a virus like Mono, called cytomegalovirus. Over 50% of the population have been infected with this virus by the time they are adults, it's really common. In most people, it may cause mild flu like symptoms, in many it causes no symptoms at all. In me, it caused an inflamed liver and some pretty overwhelming fatigue and weakness.
    I struggled to get up off a chair, up stairs (at my worst, I was near crawling up them) and if I was down on the floor, I was done for. On several ocassions I lost my balance (once in a shopping centre, once in front of a room full of customers at work, out the front of my house in the garden, and countless other times) and fell over. Not just fell over, but my legs would give way. And then I was stuck.
    My partner said, as he helped me step up on to the curb (we're talking 4 inch step, nothing major) that it was like helping a drunk person. I don't think I can accurately describe the frustration of feeling so useless, but never actually appearing to be sick. I had no snot, pus, broken bones, visible cues that my body was under attack. My brain worked fine. But my body just didn't want to follow.

    So slowly, and with time, I'm getting over it. I can't bolt up the stairs like I used to, but I'm faster than my former snail's pace, and I don't fall down as much! I realised that if I was going to make any dramatic improvements on my ability to do 'normal' things, then I'd have to push myself outside of my comfort zone.
    I started this by walking faster on my treadmill. At first, 'fast' was 4.5 to 5 km per hour. That used to be slow for me. I've bumped that up, slowly, to 6 kph, and the other day I tried, tentatively, to run again. I did it!
    I managed 10 minutes, at 7.5 kph- which is more of a shuffle than a run, but a start.

    Then I added a light weights routine.

    Now I'm hooked again. :)

    So here's my journey.
     
  2. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    I'm food obsessed lately. I've been keeping a food and exercise diary, but I don't think I acknowleged the extent of my obsession until I refused to eat the dinner that my partner had made last night because I felt it was too difficult to accuratly estimate calorie and fat content.

    He'd made chicken korma, using a curry paste that has (according to the jar) 12 grams of fat per serve, and 1 serve is about 1/12 of the jar. Now I knew it was an open jar, and he'd finished it off, so there's a good chance that he may well have used about 1/12 per person... but then again, I don't know.
    More to the point, 12 grams of fat is just for the curry paste alone. Then there is the chicken, the oil that he's used to cook it in, the evaporated milk he added, (fat reduced evaporated milk, but still) and whatever else I haven't allowed for. My current daily allowance is about 30 grams of fat a day, and by dinner time, I'd eaten about half of that.
    The night before I was cooking some prawns in garlic, ginger, chilli, coriander, etc. He poured some oil in to a pan, perhaps 5 times what I would have used (ussually I use the spray stuff). I poured it out, wiped out the pan, and started over. I don't see this as obsessive behaviour, I think it's self protection. Why work so hard on everything else, and then just give up at dinner?

    I know he means well and is not trying to deliberately sabotage my efforts, but conversely, well, he could stop and think. I feel like I'm not being taken seriously. :d_frown:

    At any rate, my daughters are wonderful. They watch me work out, stand there and count the repetitions for me. And everytime I get up the steps alone, or get up off the chair, they pipe up with "good girl mummy! you can get up by yourself! See! You can do it!"

    :D Inspirational quotes from 4 year olds- they'll be giving seminars in no time!
     
  3. 1FastGTX

    1FastGTX Elite Member
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    Cool thread so far, looking forward to seeing it progress! Oh, and welcome!

    By the way, you have fantastic writing skills. I know that's kind of a weird comment, but it was something I noticed while reading your posts. :tucool:
     
  4. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    ooh yeah--- stats, eh?

    I'm quite short, 153cm at night after work, 156cm in the morning. I think this makes me about 5 foot, or 5 foot 1. 26 years old, currently (eep!) 59 kg and I think 28% body fat. Not that long ago, I was 55-56kg, and I think around 23-24% bf. My first goal is to get back there.

    Not that long ago (two years?) I was much heavier, 77kg at my heaviest, which is pretty bad for someone my height. I'd never been that fat before. I'll never go back to that again. :d_frown:

    I'm not a naturally athletic person. I don't have one of those miraculous metabolisms that allows me to eat what I want, but I'm pretty ok with that.

    Currently my exercise routines involve the treadmill, using a program that includes some pretty steep inclines. I'm trying to increase speed, because I'm desperate to get back to running again. A few months back I was doing a lot of running, trying to get my fitness to a level to pass the 'beep' test (or shuttle runs) to get in to the police force. I'd like to get back to that level of fitness.

    I've also introduced some weights in to this routine, on Sunday I started with legs, arms and shoulders, and I've followed with chest and abs. My legs really really killed after Sunday, but I'm going back for more again today! :db:

    I've got my work awards night in 3 weeks time, and because I'm too tight to buy a new dress (I'm not a dress wearer, last year's dress will do!) So I want to look *fabulous* in that dress again, currently I can't do the zip up past my bust! :o
    That's my interim goal for the mo.
     
  5. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    :o wow, thanks! That's a really great compliment, one of the best I've received in ages! :D Now I have a standard I have to maintain!
     
  6. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    You know, it kind of gets my goat that I spent the morning cleaning the house before bolting off to work, only to come home to find it a shambles again! Little girls' shoes, towls, toys, hair elastics, socks, trousers, drawings, library books, everything... everywhere! :spaz:

    *deep breath*

    I had a really great workout yesterday, I felt really positive about it then, and still do now. I worked hard on the treadmill, still only walking, but on the same steep incline program, and faster than ever before! I even tried running again! I'm still shuffling a bit too much when I run, but I feel the only way I can effectively overcome this is by speeding up... and this will happen with time.
    It's like the film, 'What About Bob'- babysteps. Course, there's only so fast I can babystep, I'm going to have to start running eventually. ;)

    Then I did weights. And I remembered how much I love it. :lol: I worked on my chest, biceps, triceps, front leg raises and hamstring curls. I also did squats (without the bar, I need to concentrate for now on technique, because I still get jellylegs) fitball sit ups, and I strapped ankle weights on and did some outer thigh work.

    I *tried* to do obliques on the fit ball, but my dog kept creeping up and trying to lick my face. The crazy woofer has a broken hip, and is supposed to be confined to one room. He snuck out and 'snuck' up to my face as though I couldn't see him- for the entire time he was creeping in to the room, around my feet, toward me, and then suddenly in my face, and all this with *the* most guilty look. I thought dogs didn't have facial expressions like this! But he does! It's a combination of guilt, and that apologetic 'excuse-me-I-just-wanted-a-bit-of-a-pat' look. I can't decide if I find him pathetic, exasperating, or sweet. Or perhaps all three. He's sleeping behind me now, with that same weird guilty look on his face. :rolleyes:

    I didn't do *any* exercise, today, I struggle to fit it in on Thursdays, it's either getting up early, or staying up late... and I'm not cool with either of those suggestions. However, I did (re)master a few amazing things today, which I will share with anyone who cares to read. :D

    I bought a 14kg bag of cat litter today, in my mad dash to the shops before work, and an 18 can pack of soft drink. I managed to get them in to the trolley ok, but I was a *little* concerned that I might struggle to get the two out of the trolley, and in to the car. I've found simple things like that difficult, since I've been sick.

    But I did it! And I carried them up the steps when I got home!
    :claplow:

    Also! I I finally managed to drag my legs up the step ladder at work (I used to live on that thing, I'm so short) *and* I even climbed up the shelves today. These are simply things that I used to do countless times a day, with ease, that I now struggle with. I think that overcoming the struggle is partly to do with my body finally getting better, but I also think that my exercise efforts deserve a fair portion of the credit. I had that horrid thought a couple of weeks back that if i didn't push myself, my strength and agility (of sorts!) would never return. And I'm really noticing results!

    On a much more self concious note, though I haven't noticed a great deal of difference in the scales this week, I can feel my body getting better. Just a little bit stronger, a little bit fitter, a little bit closer to the goal. The scales haven't changed a great deal, I was 59.1kg today, and I think 59.2kg on Monday. My bf is now 26.4%, which is less, I think a week ago it was 26.6% or 26.8%. Still, a change is a change, I'm cool with any progress.
    Oh! And I took my measurements last week, I've lost 1cm on my arm, waist, hips and thigh- yay!

    (I don't plan on finding those lost cms again. :p )


    At any rate, well past my bedtime, and nothing I type makes sense.
    Night all. :tu:
     
    #6 kateykate, Oct 20, 2005
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2005
  7. Butterflyer

    Butterflyer Well-Known Member

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    My cat thinks exercise time is time for some petting, just like your dog. So cute! A little annoying, yes, but adorable.

    Taking advantage of the daily-chore-style of strength training-- way to go! :cool:

    :gl: kateykate!
     
  8. Chameleon

    Chameleon Well-Known Member

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    wow, this is a great journal... I have really enjoyed reading it so far, and will be checking in often to see how you’re doing. It’s always great to hear about people who really have to fight to get their health back, you’re an inspiration :nod:. Most people are just too lazy and haven’t gone through a sickness that limits their mobility like you have.

    Have you talked to your partner about the oil/fat issue? Maybe he just doesn’t realize how much fat and oil he uses. I know that I used to ‘estimate’ how much I used, and when I started to measure everything I was really surprised at how bad I had become at ‘estimating’ :p :gl:
     
  9. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    thanks, that's really lovely! :o

    I have, but I still feel that he's a little complacent on the issue. He's very lean, and has never ever considered his own diet habits because he's never needed to. I've got some nice digital scales now and I think he's often surprised at just exactly how much a serving size is. Normally this would be fine, for him, because he eats when he's hungry and stops when he's full. If only it were so simple for me. :whistle:
    He's working on being more concientious about quantities that he uses, however, and most important for me is making sure that there is an 'alternative' for me to load my plate with, plenty of green salad. :eat:

    I didn't work out on Friday either. Part of me feels that I should be feeling guilty about this, because now it's two days in a row, but the other part of me is defiant. I've been careful with my calorie intake, keeping it at or under 1200 a day, plus I'm exhausted on Fridays. I think it comes from working late Thursday nights.
    However, after work I took the girls to the shops to look at toys, so, I had some energy I could have channelled in to a workout, I just chose not to. I guess I'll just work harder today and tomorrow.

    I read somewhere recently that *someone* (it may well have been someone from here, I forget these things) doesn't eat anything that they haven't planned for 24 hours in advance. Now I take this to include things that are on offer at work, for example, when someone has cake, biscuits, whatever, and foods that would normally be considered 'off limits', but not necessarily planning days of eating 24 hours in advance. I try to weigh what I eat, my lunches are almost always the same, the only real variable is dinner... and a good cookbook or three is useful here.
     
  10. krosspyder

    krosspyder Well-Known Member

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    kateykate i am glad you have started a journal.
    im looking forward to the progress you will make. this is one first big step... along with improving your health.

    i never knew i would or could inspire anyone else into fitness.. thnx for giving me that little position.

    also... im curious... as to who this personal trainer is or looks like from that show Bridezillas. Any pics?
     
  11. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    It wasn't actually Bridezillas, but something akin to that called Buff Brides. I tell you it took some googling to remember the name of that show! :D
    Unfortunately no pics, sorry. So you're just going to have to imagine!
     
  12. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    I caught the bus in to the city today with the girls, promising them a trip to Toys'R'Us (their birthday is coming up) but with the ulterior motive of going to a big opening sale at a new sports store in town.

    It was great!

    The girls whined and dragged themselves around the sports store, while I tried on countless pairs of shoes. It's more than a little painful and difficult to find a shoe that accomodates my small, but slightly wide feet, with apparently high arches.. that are also on sale. ;) But I ended up with a nice shiney pair of Saucony running shoes, a couple of *heavily discounted* t-shirts, and two very impatient daughters!

    They convinced me to take them to the food court (and not straight home as I would have possibly preffered), where I ordered them some fairly inoffensive chicken and chips type meal... and refrained from ordering any for myself. *Pat on back* Instead I got lunch at Subway, after consulting my calorie counting guide.
    It's easiest, I think, when I'm really hungry, to slip in to an unproductive pattern of eating whatever is right on hand, rather than eating whatever is best for me. I think that's what I was heading at in an earlier post, about not eating anything I hadn't planned for 24 hours in advance.
    Clearly, standing in front of the chicken-and-chips place I knew I wasn't willing to wear whatever was on the menu. So I opted out.
    Only 3 weeks left to the awards night, and I don't think it's too much to ask myself to remain in control, until then.

    As for the Awards Night... I swore blind that I wasn't going to buy another dress this year, because I only wore last year's dress once. In town today I saw lots of women leaving a wedding at the Botanic Gardens wearing dresses in what appears to be 'the new black' in fashion, brown. Give it another two weeks and I might have convinced myself so much, that I'll actually go shopping. :nod:


    ...and as for the girls and the trip in to town, we did go to Toys'R'Us, and I've established that everything that they want for their birthdays is very expensive, noisy, and potentially irritating. So I think a swing set it is, then. :D
     
  13. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    One of my daughters, Ysobel, won a Sports Award at Little Athletics today! What a little champion! :claphigh: We got a little certificate to put on her wall.
    Grace, my other daughter, gave most of the activities a good go, too. :jumping:
     
  14. Dancer

    Dancer Well-Known Member

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    Hey Kateykate.
    I stumbled across these forums similar to you to. Googling swimwear in the image search bit lol. Anyway couldn't have happened at a better time when i was starting to plummet, but yeah i to have found heaps of inspiration here. :bow: :bow: :bow:
    Just wanted to say :gl: and I'll be sure to keep an eye on your journal for further inspiration :tu:
     
  15. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    Hey, thanks Deadbeat_Dancer! :D And I notice you're a Queenslander too! Fantastic!



    As the day has progressed my throat has got more and more sore. :d_frown: I'm fairly certain it's no longer hayfever and now a cold. I'm tired and don't feel like working out... but might just do some walking later. I don't know. I'd rather go to bed..
     
  16. guava

    guava Elite Member
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    Awesome journal kateykate. Yay for the champion. :claplow: How old are your daughters?
     
  17. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    Hey, thanks! Your journal was one of the inspirations for me to start this, so that's a huge compliment (because yours is great) :D

    My daughters are 4, turning 5 in two weeks. We just realised the nightmarish logistics of having to organise a party, right in the middle of my partner's uni exams. :eek:



    I'm struggling with the convience (and obvious kid appeal) of having a party at a fast food joint, because it contradicts all the beliefs that I have about not associating junk food with 'feel good' ocassions, such as birthdays.
    Having said that, my partner, quite reasonably, I feel, says that he can spare a couple of hours for a party, but not the hours before and after cleaning and preparing. I can't argue with that kind of logic, a five year old's birthday party is ultimately less important than a university degree.

    So, what now? I'm investigating the possibilities (and potential expense) of alternative locations, such as playhouse cafes, etc, but I strongly suspect that these places generally are avoided because they are more expensive... and money is an issue.

    Last year we were hoping to have the party at the park, but it was too wet, and we ended up having it at home anyway. On that ocassion it was just family, so it was no big deal, but this year, with all these extra kids... :spaz:

    *sigh*

    In other news, I definately do have a cold. My throat feels like a bag of gravel and my nose is a snot factory.

    I wonder if I've reduced my calories too much, and this has contributed to why I am sick, again? I'm sure that my ineffective immune system has had an impact, though.

    I think it's easiest if I just give up for the day and go to bed.
     
  18. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    FINALLY I've dropped from the 59.2kg that I felt like I was stuck at! 58.5kg this morning, hooray! My BF percentage has gone down too, I think, but I can't remember what the figure the figure is, so I'll put that up later.

    I'm stil sick, so I'm still not exercising. I think if I was less tired, this might actually bother me enough to do something about it.. but what can I do? I get frustrated at the idea of resigning myself to a 'wellness' cycle governed by my incompetant immune system, but... short of eating well, exercising regularly(when I can), and drinking plenty of water, there seems to be few alternatives. :confused:

    My partner commented a few weeks back, and I'm not sure if I mentioned it here or not, that I seem to get sick, often, when I'm a week or two in to a new "routine". Particularly if I'm calorie counting, and exercising.
    It occurs to me that this may well be because I'm decreasing my calories by a fairly significant amount, and perhaps increasing my exercise just enough that it's compromising my immune system... but I was under the impression from reading that I've done that you need to do fairly heavy exercise, frequently, before you're immune system is compromised. I'm certain that there are plenty of people out there in this wide world that do a great deal more, and fuel their bodies with less, or poorer quality, than me... so why do I suffer???

    I've asked my GP about this in the past, and he says, "it's just the way you are". There's not a great deal of satisfaction in this kind of answer- that things are they way they are and I can have limited impact on changing them. :spaz:

    It also occurs to me that the cycle of exercising, calorie counting, and getting sick, might all just be a big fat coincidence. Some consolation, eh?
     
  19. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    Another loss! 58.3kg today! That's 128lb- and it sounds like so much more in imperial measurements. My bf was 25.6%, I think, yesterday.

    It's interesting that the last two days I have increased my calorie intake, only slightly, to 1350 - 1400 a day, and I've overcome the 'mini plateau' that I was on. It could also have something to do with having a cold, I don't know.

    The award thingo is in two and a half weeks. :spaz: I really need to get my arse in to gear in the lead up to that.
     
  20. kateykate

    kateykate Well-Known Member

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    I really ought to be better informed about what most people talk about here. I only have vague ideas about what cutting is, and no idea what HIIT is. Up until now this was only a minor concern to me, but I feel like I'm missing out on something.
    Clearly the answer to this is to read more, but.. having said that, I think that most of this stuff isn't really relevant to where I'm at with my health and fitness, anyway, so I tend to just gloss over it. I don't know.


    In other news I am getting over my cold, with little effects it seems on my overall fitness- because I'm getting up the stairs faster than ever now, and the front steps I can do *with* stuff in my hands. :D

    Every cold, every late night/early morning rise, leads me to worry that I am going to have a relapse of the CMV and go back in to that awful, awful state of not being able to stand from a sitting position, to open ring pull cans, to get out of the car (without falling over).

    It's hard to believe, looking back, that I was so sick. I think that I cope (or not cope) with such situations by dealing with it when I have to, and then just pushing it to the back of my mind.
    I thought about this in relation to being sick (I'm 44 hours in arrears of sick leave-- crikey!) and other difficult things that I have had to deal with, such as when I first came home from hospital, with my tiny daughters. I don't focus on what that was like, but I met another woman who felt it was important to record the traumatic 'birthing experience' she had, and her unhappiness at having twins. :eek:
    I know different people cope in different ways, but if I didn't have my arms full of babies I would have shaken her and said, "get over yourself! Get on with it!"

    But I'm not tolerant in those situations, and this isn't a healthy way to feel, I'm sure. I see it like this: I've never been nearly as sick as many people. my aunt died of acute myloid leukemia within weeks of being diagnosed- that's sick. So I really am fortunate, in a sense. So I guess there's no reason to dwell.

    However, I think every single day of the two weeks that I was home from work, a friend from work (the same friend) would call me up to talk about the day. About how busy it was, about who was doing what, about what went wrong, and she'd ask me, 'you're still sick?', as though I could fake the symptoms.
    I could never tell if she was calling me to vent her frustrations at whatever was going on at work, or if she was hoping I would feel guilty, and come back sooner than the doctor advised.

    :confused:

    At any rate, we're all past this now.. and the focus is on improving!

    I'm kind of having a bit of a freak about how to prepare, the next two weeks, for the work thingo.

    Is there anything drastic I can do?? I mean, I could eat, I don't know, like 5 pizzas and 20 donuts a day, and this would be drastic and have a massive impact on my body over the next two weeks, but not the kind I'm looking for. Why is it the negative effects are always so much faster to show than the positive ones???

    My partner and the girls had chicken and chips for tea tonight, because I worked late. It's sweet of them, really, every other night he's tried to push me in to it (and I resist, weak willed as I feel at the time, I still manage to resist) I've made everyone else eat boring things, like vegetable soup.



    All this and I realise it's now late, again, and most of what I've written seems really disjointed and lacking purpose.

    I ought to get back in to a fitness routine, so that this actually an online fitness journal! :o
     

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