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Staring in the gym

Discussion in 'Female Health & Fitness' started by Phillyp, Sep 18, 2008.

  1. Phillyp

    Phillyp Active Member

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    Hi All!

    Hope the training is going fantastic!!

    Im posting here to gain an educated perspective...

    My girlfriend went to the gym the other day just by herself, she has not long joined, usually we go together and I will do weights and she will do a class or cardio.

    Anyway when I was talking to her later she mentioned that she had allot of guys staring at her, she isnt the type of girl that has the "look at me, look at me" type of attitude, she said some were discrete about it but other were just blatently starring, including one of the trainers (which suprised me, I thought they were mostly professional in this gym).

    Dunno, I suppose im venting, but im sort of annoyed, but theres not much I can do about it.

    Is there any advice I can give to my girlfriend to, I dont know, deal with it? or is it just something women have to put up with in a mixed gym?
     
  2. modmaven

    modmaven Well-Known Member

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    These people who were looking at her -- what were they doing? If they stopped and stared in the middle of a set, I'd be concerned. If they idlly looked at her as she passed by them while they were working out none-too-hard on a cardio machine or some kind of namby-ass machine, I wouldn't give it another thought. Those who are working out intently aren't paying attention to anyone else walking by. Those who are doing a poor job, will look for anything to catch their attention. When not engaged in serious work, people look at each other in gyms. It's nothing to take offense at.
     
  3. Big_D

    Big_D Well-Known Member

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    Maybe due to the increased testosterone, maybe because I'm shallow, but if there is a semi-attractive girl lifting I always subconsciously look.
     
  4. Avy

    Avy Active Member

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    I wouldn't be worried. Like modmaven said, unless the guys are actually dropping their weights or faceplanting the treadmill to stop and have a look I don't think its something to worry about. Yeah it can make you feel a little uncomfortable but guys are always gonna have a look at an attractive woman - whether it be in the gym or walking down the street.
     
  5. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

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    Seems odd....unless you are lifting in a male prison yard. Are there other women at the gym? If so, it seems strange that she would be singled out for staring. You mentioned that she was new to the gym -- maybe she was just overly-self conscious? And thought people were watching her when they really were not?

    The other possibility is that she was doing an atypical exercise. I'll stare if I see a woman doing an exercise I don't typically see a woman do. This woman in my gym was doing weighted pullups. I was watching because I was impressed. I always watch if I see a woman (or a man for that matter) lifting really big weight.

    The only other time I really see people stare at somebody is if they are doing something weird in the gym or doing something unorthodox -- e.g. if they are doing an exercise in a dangerous manner, or using really bad form.

    There could be numerous non-creepy explanations for why your girlfriend perceived men to be staring at her.
     
  6. DeafNgari

    DeafNgari Well-Known Member

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    This... getting looked at is different than starring though. I do occasionaly stare if I see someone doing an impressive lift or an impressively awful one. I know my wife gets a lot of looks and an occasion gawker (especially when she deadlifts), but ultimately you have to shrug it off. Everyone looks at everytime constantly at the gym. I get gawked at pretty much the entire time im in the rack by both guys and girls a like (I live in SF). I think you just have to embrace it and take it as a compliment. If it is the kind of thing that makes her feel unsafe and reasonably so, then perhaps talk to management. You just get use to it after a while.
     
  7. MadeInNY

    MadeInNY Active Member

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    That's what I was going to say.

    I myself, haven't been a gym-rat in a long while, but find myself being stared at (despite being way out of shape) also find myself staring.

    However, my stares are typically in admiration. If I see a woman pass by with great legs, or very sculpted arms I may gawk a little and lately I've even scrounged up the courage to ask what type of routine they are using.

    Also, being a member of a new gym is kinda like the "new kid" in school. You typically see the same people day in and out and when a new person comes it, it's just natural that everyone "stares."

    I wouldn't make too much of it...not unless someone is being blatantly disrespectful :)
     
  8. Master Moron

    Master Moron Well-Known Member

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    Gee, it's funny. I was just staring at a woman in the gym today in between sets of flat bench presses. Her arms, thighs, and calfs were so muscular. I know it's rude to stare and I tried not to look but her muscles just looked so hot. I don't think she noticed me staring though and I went back to my bench presses fairly quickly.
     
  9. keldink

    keldink Active Member

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    HA! Try working out in a field house during HS football season!
     
  10. anoopbal

    anoopbal Active Member

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    Pople love to get loked at . Why do you think they all go to the gym?
     
  11. Tigs33

    Tigs33 Active Member

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    Well I personally go to the gym to get fit. I do however get a lot of the guys at the gym looking at me when I am lifting free weights, but then again I am sure they look at the guys as well. Best to just ignore it unless somebody is being rude.
     
  12. Doubleoqueso

    Doubleoqueso Active Member

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    The fit girl wearing little more than a bikini in the gym is asking for the attention. Nothing is stopping a woman from wearing a loose fitting t-shirt and long shorts if she doesn't like the idea of being ogled. People everywhere look at other people, it's human nature.

    The gym is like any other public place. A girl wearing tight little outfits is going to get stared at in any public place.
     
  13. Jedi

    Jedi Well-Known Member

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    this is certainly not my motivation to go to the gym, if i had the space I would workout at home. I get stared at when I squat and deadlift as I am one of the only two or three who squat and deadlift in my gym, the others are males. Sadly all other females in my gym belong to the pink dumbell brigade (not their fault I think they are uninformed simply). As doubleo said I also try and wear fairly neutral clothing.
     
  14. Master Moron

    Master Moron Well-Known Member

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    I wish someone would stare at me at the gym...
     
  15. Jedi

    Jedi Well-Known Member

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    :lol::lol:
     
  16. Croz

    Croz Active Member

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    Yeah, the only stares I get in the gym are the same stares that you would have looking at a gory, brutal train wreck.
     
  17. TheRyanator

    TheRyanator Well-Known Member

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    My wife is one of the few "gym hotties" at our gym and often will get stares. When I see it I will try to make eye contact with the guy and let him know to slow his role a bit, but mostly it is inevitable. As long as they are not being rude/whispering back and forth with buddies as they stare/making comments it is tolerable.

    Fortunately our gym is more like a little community and after being there for 4 + years we know most of the people...so they tend to respect this gym feau paux and keep their eyes to themselves.
     
  18. causticmuse

    causticmuse Well-Known Member

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    I look MEAN in the gym--the grim RAWR face comes with the territory when lifting heavy--but I still catch people of both genders watching. So what?

    I squat, bench, deadlift, leg press, push up, chin, and hit my interval cardio harder and heavier than just about every woman I've ever seen at my little neighborhood Planet Fitness, and I sort of consider it my due to be observed with a combination awe, admiration, and bemusement. IMHO, half the fun of working out at a gym instead of at home is to freak out the other gym-goers. Frankly, it's highly motivating to me to be observed. It makes me work out even harder and continue when I might have wussed out if I'd been working out by myself in my house.

    (This is said with the caveat that I am something of a natural-born ham (first child syndrome) and also love being in the spotlight on a stage belting out rock songs with a band behind me. The gym is another stage!)

    I agree with most of the posts above:

    - It's normal human behavior to stare, whether it's because the object is attractive, doing something unexpected or impressive in the gym, or both.
    - Your GF might have been more self-conscious by herself since she is normally there with you.
    - People are curious and competitive about what others are doing to achieve their results; don't YOU look over at the next bench to see how much the guy/gal next to you is lifting or how fast they are running?

    Unless the fellows are actively pestering her, I wouldn't worry about it.
     
  19. Carole

    Carole Well-Known Member

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    - It's normal human behavior to stare, whether it's because the object is attractive, doing something unexpected or impressive in the gym, or both.


    :), I think causticmuse has really nailed it down………..Her's is a
    realistic and very plausible explanation of the myriad ‘whys and hows’
    of people looking at people in the gym. By way of augmenting
    causticmuse's observation I would offer the following………..
    Obviously at my age I’m not “leered at” in the gym but I think on ‘some’ occasions
    I am observed by others but in my own case (unlike causticmuse)
    it is not necessarily ‘how much weight I lift’, but rather that an
    “old broad” is lifting at all, that arouses curiosity. I have never found
    it unflattering or intimidating but (and like causticmuse) one of the
    reasons I PREFER lifting in a gym setting……….INCENTIVE!!
    Perhaps as 'the' GF advances in her fitness pursuit she will adopt
    a different attitude about what is (hopefully) benign attention in the gym.:)
     
  20. HevyMetal

    HevyMetal Well-Known Member

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    Women looking "mean" in the gym can turn a lot of guys on.....


    All you women out there...allow me to clue you into the male perspective.

    Gyms for the average guy are like the phone-booth that Superman uses..

    This is where you doff your mild-mannered hen-pecked image and become the Grand Gladiator of Old. This is where you reign supreme as a testo-fueled Neanderthal, reducing your brainwaves to T-Rex status while feeling you muscles awash in male hormone.

    Feels durn good to drop the world at the door and become a raging primordial again...if only for an hour then it's back out into de-nutted suburbia.

    While our pro-Viking savage is in this state of mind, any female who enters the lair wearing Spandex, a bikini, or other form-fitting attire will be gazed upon by default, our savage not even realizing the extent of his admiration.

    A woman present in a workout room is a catalyst, fueling the hormone -ridden fantasies and images which lay dormant in our boy's brain until he fell prey to the Jekyll-Hyde machination which overtook him as soon as he laced on his Chuck taylor's and said to himself "Today I bust 350 on the Dead, come hell or highwater."

    Have a little bit of sympathy for them, ladies....don't be too hard on them, they cannot see past the testosterone haze clouding their brains and eyes.

    There's an old axiom...when a guy stares into the mirror at a gym , his muscles will be exactly twice the size they are in real life. Accordingly, so will his ego.

    Bodybuilders expect to be stared at by women...it's only right that women should fall into a quivering mass of Jello at the very sight of you.

    Conversely,women with hot bods will be ogled by those can only dream of such good fortune coming their way.
    Sure....our boy is lifting to get stronger...but,truth be told, he is also lifting to get bigger muscles so he can have a better pick of girlfriends.
    Yes...if you ask him why he lifts , he'll fill you with some new-age B.S. about wanting to "tone" for the summer or "living healthier"......but in actual fact he wants to look good for the chicks.

    In a gym it's all about the hormones when the other sex enters.

    I guess Etiquette for Neanderthals should be:-

    Do not swear
    Do not snort
    Do not grunt
    Do not fart
    Do not leave sweat on the pads and seats
    Do not stare with your tongue hanging out
    Do not stare with your balls hanging out
    No untoward gestures or comments
    If caught staring, immediately close your eyes and go into a coughing fit, claiming you're allergic to the vast number of roll-on deodorant odors present.
    No offering to give the lady a "hands-on" form check when she's doing a Deadlift.
    If caught by her husband/boyfriend while you're ogling, get out of it by telling him:- " Awfully sorry...no offence...it's just that every once in awhile someone walks in here who you can just tell is going to be great, a " natural" as-it-were, a person who is going to go far beyond the average results so common these days. I see in your woman that potential...and I'm awed."
    Always keep a break-open ice pack in your gymbag for the times that doesn't work and you get clocked.
     

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