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Some People

Discussion in 'Fat Loss/Cutting' started by Visteon, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. Visteon

    Visteon Well-Known Member

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    A girl that works in the same office as me needs to lose a few pounds. She has been told by the doctor to lose weight and do it now. I know this because I've heard her whinging incessantly about it for a week now. She came over to me today and asked what 'Diet' am I on because it seems to be working. I told her I wasnt on a diet just eating clean and working hard in the gym, to which she replied 'Oh, well can you advise me what might work for me' so explaining I'm no expert but what working for me is 'Eating clean and working hard in the gym!' She replied I cant afford a gym, Well go for a walk round the lake (theres a lake about a mile round outside work) and i'll come with you. No I can't be bothered with all that.........what should I eat...so I gave her an idea of what I consider to be good healthy foods........I dont like any of that was her reply.

    Sooo (Sorry this is going on a bit) I sent her a link for this site, to which she replied......Its like a self help group of people that spend to much time looking into health and have no friends :mad: and besides they just write about it I bet only half of them do any of it!!!

    So I give up, don't ask me for help, stop moaning about being fat and not taking up the chance you have to work on getting fit. Don't ever ask for advice from me again until you want to lose weight! Rant over!!! :spaz:

    Sorry but she annoyed me!!! Why ask if you won't take on board what I, and the apparently the host of people on these boards and her Dr. have said!

    *Deep Breaths!!!!*
     
  2. Jaybird

    Jaybird Well-Known Member

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    People can only be helped if they want to be helped. It has to come from within. No sense in you losing sleep over this if she doesn't want to do what it takes. Obviously the desire within her isn't burning hot enough. I think she wants to treat the symptoms rather than solve the problem.

    She clearly doesn't realize that there's no such thing as a quick fix. Whenever I feel like skipping a workout or binging on junk food, I just think about some famous quotes, such as, "Nothing worth doing is easy," and "the price of sacrafice is high, but so are the rewards." They're cliches, but they get me going.

    You should tell her to read Jeremy's book BTJ.
     
  3. Visteon

    Visteon Well-Known Member

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    I want to read that myself. So I'll have to look into it come come payday.

    I know you cant help if they dont want it, but its almost like a bug. I've got it and I love it and can't see why any other overweight people dont want to get in shape! But then again until you've tried it I suppose I was in the same boat until I was motivated enough and started seeing results.
     
  4. Skoorb

    Skoorb Well-Known Member

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    The fact I have no friends has nothing to do with visiting this site :D

    I'd stop worrying about her. She's like the vast majority of overweight individuals who cannot be bothered to do what needs to be done to beat their problem. They'd rather lay the blame on something else, or belittle the issue instead of taking it head on. If their inability to exert control over their lives keeps them happy, so be it. Let them live in their little world of denial, all the while crying sour grapes. Her reaction is not unique.

    You'll find that giving advise and encouragement is far more rewarding when it's directed at people who have a real desire to affect change on themselves, and if you try and give it to those who really, deep down inside, can't be bothered, you'll always be frustrated.
     
  5. greenehorn

    greenehorn Well-Known Member

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    The response I use is something like:
    "Well, I understand your reluctance since it's a very normal reaction. You are used to eating and living one way, and it is difficult to change. Feel free to try all the fad diets you want, and I truly wish you luck. But in my experience they will fail over time. When you decide you really want to change your health for the better instead of look for the quick fix, I'll still be here and be more than happy to offer humble advice."

    Say it with conviction and the knowledge that you will look and feel even better the whole time she is discovering the inevitable.
     
  6. Visteon

    Visteon Well-Known Member

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    How Ironic that as I sit here at my desk she has come back from the restaurant with a danish in hand!!! Oh to be as determined as she!!! :lol:
     
  7. _Christopher_

    _Christopher_ Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if she will read this thread?
     
  8. Skoorb

    Skoorb Well-Known Member

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    I wondered that too. It would be good for her.
     
  9. mwhalber

    mwhalber Well-Known Member

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    I was secretly hoping for her response! ;)
     
  10. rooster

    rooster Well-Known Member

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    Our little self-help group. HAHAHAHAHA.. so awesome.


    GROUP HUG!
    :lol:
     
  11. The_Jackel

    The_Jackel Well-Known Member

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    maybe you should show her the consequences of constantly eating junk food and not doing exercise. or tell her to watch that fat nation programme on bbc1 and do what they do. lol ;)
     
  12. featherz

    featherz Well-Known Member

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    I get that a lot too, as the people at work are all desperate to hear how I lost 40+ pounds. They are expecting me to say 'Trim-Spa and Cortislim!' or "Atkins, I eat nothing but bacon! :)". Hearing 'Six small meals a day with things like Oatmeal and cottage cheese" gets me 'But I haaaaate cottage cheese!'.. And don't even get me started on cardio/weight lifting. I walk two miles at lunch just because I have nothing better to do (one mile each way) and the entire office acts like I am slogging 30 miles through the wilderness in snowshoes. :) :)
     
  13. jRS

    jRS Well-Known Member

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    She sure wasn't open to anything that would make her lose weight...


    Very nice of you to give her advice and to offer to go for a walk with her!
     
  14. jRS

    jRS Well-Known Member

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    :lol: Know how that feels!
     
  15. Bluestreak

    Bluestreak Well-Known Member

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    "Hi. My name is Roger and I'm a former fattie."

    Christ on a rusty tricycle. You are where I was not so long ago. People at work have asked me the same questions in the past. When they ask, my answer now consists of three words: "Diet and exercise.". No details. The most often response I receive is "What do you think about **insert fad diet here**?"

    At which time I roll my eyes and reiterate that my results come through conscientious diet and exercise. At this point, since I'm not giving them answer they wish to hear, I'm immediately filed in their brains under "health nut who's overly obsessive about his weight management" - which is fine with me, 'cause they leave me alone. Some mornings I have a few slices of bacon with egg whites. All they smell is the bacon when I microwave it, and they have a hard time believing that I can have bacon several times a week yet maintain extremely low body fat. The company I work for now I started with in January '04 - I was already thin so they didn't know the "fat" me. I brought in my wedding album to prove that my body today is not a gift of genetics but a hard fought change in lifestyle. That also shut more than a few people up.

    Of course, my bitterness isn't conducive to bringing others into the fold but I only have patience to endure the same silly questions so many times before wanting to snatch off the inquiring party's head. To add to the frustration, the people who ask me are generally the same ones who are out the door every day at 11:45 to beat the lunch rush at whatever fast food establishment strikes them so that day. Fighting this "good fight" is something I will confine to the JSF forums where people have come who truly seek to change as opposed to my office mates, who for all intents and purposes are waiting for science to provide the Magic Pill.
     
  16. featherz

    featherz Well-Known Member

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    Even better, I CONSTANTLY get comments on how I don't eat enough and I must be anorexic or some such thing. This while we are in a big catered meeting full of fried crap and I am sitting there with my little tupperware of chicken and whole wheat pasta (or whatever). I currently eat at least 2000 calories a day (at 126 pounds), and that's not enough for them - I need to fill up a huge plate (or two) of lasagne or burgers/fries to look 'normal'. Not to mention since I eat every 2-3 hours they see me eating all the time!

    Ah well. :) Let them have their cheetos, I am not even tempted.

    (However, fresh baked chocolate anything might cause me to take a second look. Thankfully that rarely happens :) :)).

    There is the opposite problem now and then, although that's starting to wane - sitting down to some oatmeal and getting looks from the Atkins crowd about how 'carbs will kill you'. This of course while they are scarfing down a bar full of sugar alcohols purported to have only 5 'net' carbs. :)
     
  17. lostmind

    lostmind Well-Known Member

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    I love how quickly people sneer at self help groups. It's like there is a stigma attached to admitting that you need help with something... In my view, at least those people have admitted there is a problem and they are at least putting in some effort to correct it.

    Look at people like your office mate - they are looking for a quick and painless fix.

    Who's the weaker person?
     
  18. Jaybird

    Jaybird Well-Known Member

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    I'm in grad school, so I spend a lot of time with other students. They think I'm really weird because I eat 6 times a day (and drink whey, which they laugh and call "cheese" shakes) and spend a lot of time at the gym. I also don't go drinking at bars. They are my friends, but sometimes they think I'm some kind of mutant.

    But, I have:
    Lower stress
    Lower blood pressure
    Overall better health
    Look younger
    Sleep better at night
    And I get sick a lot less

    I just laugh at them when they are hung over, with a nasty cold, and totally stressed out and appear to be falling apart.
     
    #18 Jaybird, Oct 25, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2004
  19. Bustmybutt

    Bustmybutt Well-Known Member

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    I am sure that this lady was just HOPING to hear you had some special pill or at home workout machine. You know, the one that claims you will have the perfect body in only 20 minutes a day :rolleyes:

    Man, I workout two hours a day, six days a week and am STILL a work in progress. I find I always have people asking me things about diet and exercise, in hopes that I found the miracle cure to being overweight. I bust my ass, and eat clean and healthy and the weight is not coming off easily at all. However, every passing week, whether I lose weight or not, I am only getting better and better. That is what I keep my focus on. If I start thinking about it all being about weight loss, I would lose ambition sicne it is one of the hardest things to do.

    You probably lost her as soon as you said the terrible things about eating clean and exercising all the time.

    I have no sympathy for these people anymore. Most of them want to stay fat so they can blame all their problems and wrongs in life on their weight. I have had training partners that stood me up constantly. Their excuses were just that, excuses. I train alone now. I always do what I say I am going to do, and no matter how bad I want to stay home, I go to the gym. I am always glad I went, and find the guilt of not going is worse then the actualy workout as it is.

    If anyone does have that magic pill, please let me know about it... Mind you, my diet and exercise are a part of me. I love who I am and how I feel when I exercise and my body appreciates the good and healthy food I put into it.
     
  20. greenehorn

    greenehorn Well-Known Member

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    Lately I've gotten the "How can you stay like that? You eat constantly, like 6 meals a day! I only eat once before I go home- at lunch, so why aren't I losing weight?" Of course the answer is that they eat more calories in that one lunch trip than I do all day. A few people actually acknowledge what they are doing, and one even said "Screw it, I'd rather live like this." I told him I respected his honesty and that he was at least making an informed decision. It's the deniers that really bug you, huh?
     

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