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My parents are my downfall!!

Discussion in 'Fat Loss/Cutting' started by supaspic, Mar 14, 2005.

  1. supaspic

    supaspic Well-Known Member

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    What the hell, I come home for Spring Break so i decide i will take a break from lifting to allow myself a new kick start when i return to school, I get home and i get YELLED at for being too skinny. Im 5'9 180lb with 12-13% BF. My dad is like, "You dont have to be dieting you need to eat so you can get muscles", I tried to explain how im on a 1900-1800 cal cutting diet and i will eventually bulk, but he's like you should be eating whatever you want your young (20years old) and shoulsd not be dieting.

    Then my mom decied since im trying to be healthy well, lets just bring me home fastfood chicken, which is grilled with the skin and says "Its healthy its chicken" and Im looking at the grease covered skin. They also bring me home fish from some restaurant and veggies thinking im gonna eat it and they get upset when i am not eating my BUTTER DRENCHED veggies. I mean COME ON, I will eat the food they bring but within my diet, and they are so unknowledgeable of healthy food. I really think this week of me being here at home will be ruined from my mindset of losing all i worked for these past 3 months in 1 week and its gonna be by my own family. :mad: :mad:

    Supa
     
  2. brezman

    brezman Well-Known Member

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    First off the best defense about the "you're getting too big/too small" thing is to make some offhand comments about they're own fitness status, :D , or simply stating you have set goals for yourself and are working hard to get there.

    Otherwise just keep exercising this week and the damage probably won't be too extensive, a modest portion of anything will not erase months of hard work, and likely it won't even make a noticeabl difference.
     
  3. vatechguy

    vatechguy Elite Member
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    You've got to relax man.

    Even "butter drenched" vegetables aren't the end of the world. A few unhealthy fats aren't going to kill ya.

    On the chicken - peel that skin off - sop up some of the grease with a napkin and say "Thanks mom!" Eat the veggies - then sneak yourself a protein shake when they're not lookin.

    I wish my folks would have bought ME food when I came home from college on a visit . . . .

    You'll be ok. :nod:
     
  4. Gillisc

    Gillisc Well-Known Member

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    It's a sad reality that the people that care the most are often the least able to help. Your parents care, they just don't know what they're doing and how it conflicts with your goals. They will always see you as their baby and that clouds their judgement about your ability to make informed decisions about your own life. The only solution is patience. They'll grow up eventually.
     
  5. american dream

    american dream Well-Known Member

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    Y'know supa, this is actually a great opportunity! :tu:

    If they "don't know anything about eating healthy" this is a great time to bring it up to them. Tell them about how much happier you are (I assume) and how much better you feel. I have lost a lot of weight in the last year (not in the 12%BF range, but someday...) and my family members are just starting to come around. I have gotten my mom and sister into the idea of eating better and avoiding the "butter drenched veggies" they once thought were healthy.
     
  6. Sturm

    Sturm Well-Known Member

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    Good advice
     
  7. Bluestreak

    Bluestreak Well-Known Member

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    I feel your pain, but there is a way to turn this to your advantage.

    I come from a big Italian family. The women love... I mean LOVE to cook and feed people. After I lost my weight, I didn't take home doggy bags after I visit my mom, I don't take any of my grandma's home made cheesecake home with me anymore... they felt... I dunno... left out? Left behind, sort of? Happy that I was healthy, but sad that they couldn't pack me full of junk anymore.

    So what I did was wrote down my favorite healthy recipes for my mom and grandma. Now when I go home, they pre-make packages of my healthy faves to take home... already prepared. And I didn't have to make them. Or buy 'em. I'm 31 years old, she still does it for me. No kidding.

    -R
     
  8. Hort

    Hort Well-Known Member

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    Let me say: your 20? Living at home? Maybe it's time to move out. ;)
     
  9. betastas

    betastas Well-Known Member

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    It's spring break. My guess is spic is a student like me. I know what you're facing dude, I go through that whenever I go home. Luckily the only meal we really eat together is supper, and if it doesn't look healthy to me (IE spaghetti, some noodle dish, or whatnot) I'll make myself something on my own. The worst food related incidents always involve visiting my grandparents though, where there is an abundance of sugar, tasty greasy foods and always the inevitable leftovers.

    Luckily for my diet, I only get to go home about every 4 months, so I have a good chunk of time on my own to eat as I want.
     
  10. eleven24

    eleven24 Well-Known Member

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    20 and living at home is far from the age to move out. I've been there. College student = not enough money for own place. I think supa also mentioned that he came home from college to his parents.

    I'd print out a few articles on healthy eating and show your parents. A good way to get them to open their eyes is to say something like "Maybe you should consider eating a bit more healthy. I'd like you to be around for awhile."

    (A good dose of guilt goes a long way)
     
  11. LarryNC

    LarryNC Well-Known Member

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    My mom is the same way. "Your a growing boy u can have anything u want!!!! I'm baking brownies right now have the whole thing if u want"
     
  12. supaspic

    supaspic Well-Known Member

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    No i actually go to school 200 miles away so i dont live at home..but dont knock it man im only 20 :D .

    Thanks for the advice i think i might show my parents some of the healthy recipes found here on JSF.

    Supa
     
  13. eleonardo

    eleonardo Well-Known Member

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    Just talk to your parents, explain to them why you are doing it.
    My mom also wasn't all too happy when I started eating clean, but now she encourages it :)
     
  14. don_1987

    don_1987 Well-Known Member

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    Man, a lot of people know too little about healthy nutrition and it's normal for them to think that vegetables are healthy, even though it's covered with butter, Hey, it's vegetables right? It's just the way people used to think. We can change, but we can't change the whole world according to us...

    My mom and other people around me used to say the same thing when I first cut, and I mean exactly. But as time goes by, people who knew me well, especially my mom and auntie finally realize my goal and they even think I'm a nutritionist. They ask me all this questions regarding fat loss etc... So I think just give them some time, and they will finally realize your true goal.

    Also, they just want to make you happy, and they think that the concept of 'dieting' is depriving yourself, and they don't want to deprive you. Try to explain them that you're enjoying what you're doing and you're not feeling deprive at all. And tell them how happy you'll be once you've reach your goal... :claphigh:
     
  15. Savyart

    Savyart Well-Known Member

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    Something else too - if the majority of the population is over weight or obese (especially the older than 20 population - which is who your parents likely have more contact with) then they are seeing, on average, much larger people than you. So, to them, you DO look overly thin in comparison. Sort of a distorted reality check, ya know? Just like if you are around people who are 4'10 all day and then run into a 6ft person they seem even TALLER than if you had been around taller people the whole time?

    And you are their son. So, that extra distortion of seeing you thin in comparison is tenfold, because they are then concerned about you. Parents sort of walk this balancing line and can contunually over react in their desire to protect and make sure their child is having the best life they can. And if they are really uneducated about food, that can compound your problem.

    Maybe providing them with some information will help, but it might just make things worse. Sometimes parents can't ever make the switch to the child imparting the information to the parents.

    In the end - a week off might actually be beneficial to you. And if you watch your portions of whatever it is you are eating, you won't screw anything up. It may not be the cleanest - but for one week, it can be more about the caloric values instead of the ratios. And even if it's an entire week off, you aren't suddenly going to gain 20 lbs. Relax. Enjoy your visit, and see if you can plant a few seeds of important information - you never know when they might take root to the benefit of all of you.
     
  16. RTE

    RTE Well-Known Member

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  17. Savyart

    Savyart Well-Known Member

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    I LIKE that chart! LOL :D THAT chart is my new best friend. I may just laminate it and frame it...tee-hee

    I have never seen one that counts your shoes and your clothing before.
     
  18. smalltex

    smalltex Well-Known Member

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    As little as I get back to see my folks, when I go I look on it as a "cheat week". They just don't eat healthy. But I'm not going to turn away Mom's chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, with banana pudding or lemon icebox pie for desert. Or the mesquite grilled steak or giant Mexican dinner when we eat out.

    Surprisingly, as I have put on some lean muscle, this week really doesn't hurt me. In fact, I have been shocked to find that when I get back I actually have maintained or even lost weight. Not sure why this happens although I have read about similar experiences on this forum. I guess if I was still trying to lose significant weight and cutting it would be harder to do this. If I were to stay for more than a week this would definitely not be the smart thing to do
     
  19. RTE

    RTE Well-Known Member

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    I like it, too. People who aren't ready to stop on the road to being fat will say the weights are too light. They all want to weigh more. A muscular body will look good at those weights. They are not a bad goal weight for everyone. Going below your range says I have taken it too far. If you really build the muscles, you might go 10-15 lbs above range, but that is it in my opinion. :tucool:
     
  20. thisisme

    thisisme Well-Known Member

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    I hear ya, my parents sent me a chocolate chip cookie pizza because they weren't able to make it for my b-day. They know I'm trying to eat right as well! I'm the only one that lives here and they send me a 12" diameter chocolate chip cookie with icing on it! I must say I had a piece, but I'll be freezing one more piece and giving the rest away to friends.
     

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