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My Most Humiliating Fat Moment..What's Yours?

Discussion in 'Female Health & Fitness' started by Victoria35, Jan 26, 2007.

  1. Victoria35

    Victoria35 Active Member

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    My fellow women friends!

    What is your most humiliating fat moment where you could just have died because of your fatness??

    I had mine yesterday and I hope you have some to share with me to help me feel better and not so ALONE!!

    I had an appointment yesterday with a new doctor and I had to have a hospital gown with only my bra and panties underneath. He came in and he was about 20!.....He looked young and fit. I'm 36 and am told am fairly attractive, but not so much lately due to my failure to keep my weight down after 45# wt loss 5 years ago.

    Anyway, I gained 30# back over the last year and a half and steadily rising despite wanting so bad to lose it last summer...anyway...off to a new start with this doctor and he looks at me and is very nice and when it comes to the point that he needs to examine my stomach, he just grabs the gown from the front and lets it drop ......

    I am sitting in a slouched position and was not expecting him to do that just yet as we were discussing the reason for him to look there. So in an instant my fat roll was on display and pooching out over my thong and just hanging there....I had absolutely no time to suck it in...

    You should have seen his face....he looked surprised and disgusted all at once...and then he caught himself...his "expression" lasted all of about 1-2 seconds but was long enough that I saw it.

    If he had been ugly or older or a woman, I still would have been humiliated. I know it may not sound too bad to you, but I can hide my stomach fat really well under clothes and the rest of me doesn't look too bad......just soft. But OH....how shamed I feel. I looked up his bio and he's into all these sports and activities...so he is fitness minded and he was probably thrown by how bad my tummy looked..especially all pushed out and slouching.

    I then agonized for about 10 minutes and mentioned casually that I had just started a weight loss program and he congratulated me. I have started it.........last week. I had to save a little face. He was a nice doctor...but I wish he didn't have to see my belly.

    Victoria:o :bang: :o
     
  2. Jokat

    Jokat Well-Known Member

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    Hi Victoria35,

    Although nothing I could say will take away that embarassment I would like to suggest something.

    First off, its never as bad as it seems, secondly, you have taken steps to fix what you dont like, third, who cares what others think, you have to be happy with yourself.

    Turn this negative experience into a positive one and use it to motivate you to do better (for yourself of course). :tu:

    No one is perfect and while he may look it on the outside he most likely cannot hold down a relationship etc etc.

    There are many ways of looking at this but I suggest you put it behind you and use it as motivation to stick to your plan and prove to yourself that you can do it.

    Good Luck and feel free to ask for help here at JSF...
     
  3. Victoria35

    Victoria35 Active Member

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    Thanks..Jokat

    You are right...trying to use that experience as a motivation is a good idea.

    My inclination is to go eat some of the pain away........bad comfort food you know. That is how I deal with things some of the time.

    But......trying to fix those bad habits once again is going to be hard but possible!!

    Thanks for your empathy and kind words!:)
     
  4. Devery

    Devery Well-Known Member

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    Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure your doctor has seen worse things than a little pooch :)
     
  5. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

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    Honestly......it is probably all in your head. Trust me, your doctor has seen much, MUCH worse. But, if it serves as a motivating factor for you, then perhaps it is a good thing. Good luck! :tucool:
     
  6. albaloo

    albaloo Active Member

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    I'm going to pitch in with my most humiliating fat.... hours.

    My father has always been far too fond of food, so my mother has always been sure to add no salt or oil to the family's food and we kept no desserts on hand. This was pretty much necessary because he has no desire (or ability?) to restrain himself from eating any non-spartan food within reach.

    When I moved halfway around the world to college in New England, dormitory food was not so strictly regulated. Most horribly, you had to wait by the desserts to get to the not-very-healthy main courses. Long story short, by growing up "shielded," diet-wise, I had never learned to self-monitor my food intake. I learned this the very hard way when family friends invited me to dinner at a ritzy restaurant and I realized, about an hour before said dinner, that *none* of my nice pants or skirts fit me anymore. I hadn't noticed that I had gained weight because the jeans I wore had all relaxed to fit my new size, but the fitted slacks and skirts all had a gap of about an inch over my newly padded saddlebags!! Going in jeans was simply NOT an option. So, I pulled on a pair of skin-tight shorts, wore a pair of pants over them with the side zipper UNzipped, my longest sweater, and a lightweight coat that I did NOT remove for even a moment the entire evening. I got lots of funny looks :lol: It's very hard to engage in grown-up conversation while secretly aware that you're not fully dressed (and not in a sexy way ;)).

    needless to say, I no longer regularly partook of the dessert stand :D
     
  7. Alana Calloway

    Alana Calloway Active Member

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    Hey Victoria35

    I have a few Fat Humilations. I was just in Wal-mart the other day and I was wearing these Capri's that I could fit last year and the clip broke on them and I was just hoping the other clip wouldn't break because the button already had broken on it anyways and I would have really been embarassed I need to loose weight and my Father is not making any bones about me not loosing weight I made some cookies today because I haven't made any in a few weeks and he gets mad at me when I make them.

    Well anyways that was one of my Humilating Fat moments and the rest was when I went down to Florida with my Family and everyone was telling me oh you look so healthy...and my Uncle's Sister said Hey Powderpuff (Female Football) and I was offended by it but I didn't say anything. But I want to loose weight that is why I bought Hydroxycut and I just started taking it again today.
     
  8. Katastrophies

    Katastrophies Active Member

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    Oh Lord... where do I start???
    My boyfriend (of all people) has caught me doing the following:

    - Squeezing/flexing my bare butt cheeks in the mirror to see the grossness of it
    - Doing that thing, where you stand to the side and expand your stomach all the way out to see how far it will go or how you would look if you were 5 months pregnant.
    - Trying to bellydance
    - Standing in for an actress (who was a size 2 and a former pageant queen) and standing in front of an audience in her costume was not the best ego-boosting experience for a size 8/9 girl.
     
  9. Happy Monster

    Happy Monster Well-Known Member

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    Well, Butterflyer on this forum does that, so I don't think this one is a problem. :)
     
  10. Katastrophies

    Katastrophies Active Member

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    :lol: Notice I said "trying" to belly dance. She probably makes it look good, where as I was just learning, and those few beginning stages were worth a few laughs. :)

    (But once you get the hang of it- WOW! Your stomach is AWESOME!)
     
  11. Victoria35

    Victoria35 Active Member

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    Thanks...

    It is amazing and very personal what we find to be humilation regarding our bodies. Last night, I "cleared" the bedroom for any signs of husband nearby so I could walk naked to the dresser and get my pj's after a shower......I usually bring them to the bathroom beforehand, but forgot.

    I took two steps out and there he appeared! :o I screamed and backed back into the bathroom quickly. I won't let him see my overweight body just walking around naked...oh no! He just happened to be coming to bed right at that moment from being in another part of the house.....

    Although, that is sad, huh? One day I hope to be less self conscious and comfortable to walk right past him naked and self assured.:D

    I'm sure he would love that..:drool:

    victoria
     
  12. akm3

    akm3 Well-Known Member

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    I find that really sad :( I'm sure your husband thinks your beautiful, it is a shame you feel the need to hide yourself from him.
     
  13. Skoorb

    Skoorb Well-Known Member

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    I agree.

    Victoria, you need to take what happened at the doctor's office, in your bedroom, at work, at the gym, at the grocery store and use this as motivation. Why haven't you? Why are you consciously allowing something that obviously causes you substantial grief to stay around and continue to be injurious on your life?

    Most of us have had such moments. I had only one, when I was about 13. I don't obssess over it, but I've not forgotten it. It's one of the many reasons I have never, since losing weight and starting with weights when I was 16, more than a decade ago, gotten fat again and frankly never will.

    You can either continue to lament these experiences or find a way to permanently push them away so that they will never be repeated. Beyond the aesthetic motivations, there are also the health ones. Trust me, it's nice to be lean and know that it's an area in one's life that one is really successful at. It's entirely, 100%, in your control, too.
     
  14. Victoria35

    Victoria35 Active Member

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    Skoorb,

    Why do I let my weight go up after I get fit and look awesome?

    Why do I deal with stress and emotions by eating?

    Why do I feel insecure when I look hot and I turn heads?

    Why do I feel more comfortable (yet, ashamed) when I carry 30 # of extra fat and no one turns to check my body out anymore?

    Hmmmmmm.........gee........what could that be all about? I guess I should just stop. Just STOP DOING THAT. I'll just flip a switch and I will get fit and stay that way.

    The answer is not so easy as to get fit and never let the weight back because IT IS IN MY CONTROL. Obviously something is in control....and it is not my desire to be fit.

    My husband is frustrated bc he thinks the same way...is it a MALE way of thinking...? That I should just stop...just work out and eat right......just work out and eat right. It is just that easy, isn't it? (BTW, why would I let him see my out of shape body when he loved my fit muscular body? He is so sad that I ruined my healthy body, that he would not want want to see it totally nude just to be reminded how I don't care about us or myself enough to stay healthy?!?!?)

    I know what I need to do to get fit and stay that way.....why I seem to keep failing lately I don't know!!!!!! My health should be more important to me as my genetics puts me at high risk, not to mention just being a woman.

    I will go to my corner and sulk now....and before anyone gets upset.....I know you meant well.

    Victoria
     
    #14 Victoria35, Jul 7, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2007
  15. Katastrophies

    Katastrophies Active Member

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    - Because you were happy at your appearance and therefore, rejoice by relaxing, eating unhealthy, and not working out as hard as you were before.


    - Because your brain has been taught that by eating, you'll make yourself feel better with comfort food. It's now a matter of making yourself feel better by working out and eating healthy. - Which takes time... remember, it takes 23 days of solid repeating to form a habit. Remember this when you force yourself to go running, lift weights, etc.

    - Because you're humble! Im guessing it's because you're not a shallow girl who KNOWS she's hot and uses it to her advantage. Also, getting attention, when you're not used to getting it will definetly make someone feel awkward.

    - Good question... I've gone through this one so many times it's not even funny. You're comfortable because you're eating what you want, and not putting your body through daily workouts and having to deal with sweat, aching muscles, pains, etc. And you feel bad because you can remember once what it was like to be the "hot girl"

    I have to say... ALL of this is just my opinion. And that's it.
    But... your husband (I hope) said "for better or for worse" so if this is a low point, he needs to be supportive- and you need to show him that you are trying to solve your problems.

    I've been there- in almost the same situation. We can all say, "just stick to a good work out plan and eat right" as many times as we want to. But YOU have to do this yourself. YOU have to want it.

    No more sulking! :neener:
     
  16. zaak4you

    zaak4you Active Member

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    Victoria,

    It sounds like you have been wanting to change for a long time and are dealing with the fear of success and failure. I agree with the advice/opinions from Katastrophies.

    As a personal example to let you know that you aren't weird for thinking this way, at the beginning of my cut as I started exercising, all of my doubts suddenly came out at once. I felt that I was wasting my time and would always be chubby. I thought maybe I should just stop and face it. I ending up telling my wife via letting her read my fitness journal, and we talked about it and made some changes in our overall lifestyle. After that, I felt better about myself and about her for being supportive of me.

    When we get our mind ready for this change we are deep within our head and negative stuff comes out, like memories of something someone said or being teased as a kid etc. SO, now we have the opportunity to:
    a) Ignore this and do nothing
    b) Find comfort in more food and fat gain to erase the pain
    C) Face these minor demons and little by little lose weight and gain confidence.

    I think as you gain supportive figures around you that support your goal while not hating the current you, you will have an easier time at this and little by little your insecurities will diminish.

    Also, is your husband fit or has he packed on some pounds also?

    Good luck to you.
     
  17. Shamie

    Shamie Senior Member

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    Sometimes, you can use these humiliating situations as motivation to get your body in better shape. I agree with everyone that it is probably nowhere as bad as you thought. One of the things that motivated me to get in better shape, was that my older brother made a comment to my father about me. I don't remember the exact words, but he said something like "considering I run marathons, go to the gym frequently, that you certainly couldn't tell by looking at me". While I was mad at first, I realized what he said was true, and it motivated me to change. It forced me to take a good look at my fitness program and nutrition, and while I was working hard, the program was lacking. At that time, I did no strength training, and tons of cardio. I thought that doing all of this cardio, 2 hours a day on the weekends, and 60-90 minutes 3 times during the week, gave me Carte Blanche to eat what I wanted. And the sad part is that I honestly believed I was healthy at the time. I really don't know had my father not repeated that comment to me, if I would have just continued what I was doing.
     
  18. dgreybe

    dgreybe Well-Known Member

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    I am so grateful you wrote this! I'm back on JSF after living in denial these past 6 months (after my back op - discectomy). I hate my 88-pound-overweight body. I cut down to 130 pounds before we married 8yrs ago. I'm now up to 220 and have been so for 4yrs. I know all the technical dietary requirements and exercise routines that DO work. My husband lost over 100 pounds 2 years ago when I was pregnant with my 2nd child (excuse!). Then my back op (excuse!). I'm struggling SO HARD to find the motivation and to fight my urge to fill up on "soul-food" when I'm down, cold, stressed. :bang: I too can't bear dressing/bathing/showering/swimming in front of my husband. Our intimacy has decreased because of my selfconsciousness - only with the light off, hun! I'm incredibly self conscious that he's now "smaller" than me. I hate my cellulite, flabby, distended, stretched, scarred belly (what the hell will that look like with no fat in it!!!???). He's just moved on to a new job and I'm dreading having to meet his new colleagues one day! I love the idea of being the Super Slim Sexy Wife, yet can't get down to the crunch to do it! I'm recovering and being treated for Post Natal Depression (excuse!). I'm climbing the corporate ladder and finding it immensely stressful (excuse!). My husband tells me to "just do it. I did." I'm now going to try out Power Plate, because my body feels so weak after 6 months of inactivity that I'm dreading returning to my weight workout (which I absolutely loved! But I hate cardio!).

    But thank you, thank you for opening up about yourself! I no longer feel alone and perhaps, just maybe, I can get over this immense slump and "just do it". I will look awesome at 130 pounds. I hope to get there by April 2008 in time for my beloved cousin's wedding!
     
  19. OrangeTiger

    OrangeTiger Active Member

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    Well, I'm not really a girl but there's a really good one that I can post up here.

    A year ago at about this time, I was moving into my first apartment. Now this apartment wasn't exactly furnished; it had the basics, frig/oven/showers. It had no washer/dryer and the average temperature outside was approx. 100 Farenheit. So I was going to the store one day to buy some other stuff, like a desk to do work on and a mattress and such. Well, I found this really nifty desk that I wanted that was all packed up and ready to go, but it was kind of heavy. So myself and a sales person picked it up and began to load it onto my cart, but as we began to move toward the cart, I began to become aware that my pants were slipping (I used to wear my pants on my hips, not my waist because I was so big, I could buy 3-4 sizes smaller pants that way and not feel so bad about my weight). I mentioned the apartment didn't have a washer dryer right? Let me just add that it was wash day and well I was going the laundrymat afterwards to wash all my shorts in one fell swoop. So yes, the entire store got a NICE view of my posterior.
     
  20. TheLemonSong

    TheLemonSong Well-Known Member

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    :eek:Not really? :neener: I got a great laugh from this, and otherwise this post has been difficult to read. Thanks for lightening it up a little bit :D!
     

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