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Merk...Trample the weak, Hurdle the dead..Journal.

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by Merk, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. cwbolton

    cwbolton Well-Known Member

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    Ronn, keep at it man! Quitting may seem good, for a week or two but then after a while of thinking you were happy, you step on a weighing scale only to find you have gained a huge chunk of weight. Don't be that guy. It's happened to me and it sure as hell aint gonna happen to you! No one is looking at you how you perceive yourself, your still an inspiration to me man, when you stick at it you not only show that your human but you show a strong will and some mighty fine determination which overall makes you one hell of a guy! Your amazing Ronn always have been and always will be, we all have these points in our lives, it happened to me, i've made attempt after attempt only to fail, my journal has started and ended countless times for personal reasons. I wish training could be the one thing that drives me when things get f*cked up but it's not, your the same. We have to find our own ways around things. The next few posts from you are gonna be about how well things have been going, yes? Just baby steps at first, maybe start drinking so much water then aim for so many good meals, do it how you like. Regardless of the path you choose me and the whole JSF community will always have your back!

    Good luck and train hard Ronn, we all believe in you :tucool:
     
  2. Lo0p

    Lo0p Active Member

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    You're pissing me off... :p
     
  3. CA$ON

    CA$ON Well-Known Member

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    Well I wanted to chime in because your story inspired me to do better with my life, so I think its fair that I take the time and post a reply to you.

    If everything in life that you want or set a goal for was so easy...why even set the goal ? Think about it...

    You might want to look at everything around you and take a week off. Go somewhere instead of training just to think and nothing more. No distractions, not a lot of people, and think about why you feel this way. Sometimes taking a step back to think will make things clearer of what needs to change to build that fire again.

    To be known, inspire, and help others is not an easy task and it takes a lifetime by many. When others want to quit and give up...you don't. Thats what sets you apart from the rest. Do you want to be like everyone else or do you want to take that bull by the horns and show it who's boss? The choice is your's but be sure never to waste talent and what you could do for your life and others.

    Quick story on my slight cardio that I do. When I started a 30minute walk I would get bored after 2 min's and to be honest trying to find every excuse to stop. But some things clicked in my head such as some people that can't do what I can right now. Either their life situation with schedule, money, equipment, dedication, health. If I was to stop walking there were millions in this world who would love to just have that chance, that I was willing to piss away. That hit home pretty hard and I continued my walk for over an hour. Yes, its a small story but the values in it might help with what you are facing.

    Have a good easter holiday!:tucool::evil:
     
  4. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Thanks everyone for your motivational/uplifting words.

    Last night we went and hung out with a couple of our bodbuilding friends. During the car ride into Toronto we found out that both of them got their IFBB pro cards!!! HOLY CRAP!!! We were so excited for them. Knowing both of them are natural gave me hope that my dream of being an IFBB pro is still possible without drugs.

    I know many of you are skeptical of those words, but personally I don't give a crap what you think about it. I know both of them to be 100% natural, without a doubt. So there!

    Anyways last night we cruised through Toronto. We stopped at one point and walked around. During the walk we all managed to get ice cream, coffee, and a couple other treats! YUM!

    Seeing both of them was a real pick me up (also the 2 lbs drop on the scale, lol) Today I had a killer chest/tri workout. The numbers weren't where I wanted them, but really I didn't give two shits about it. I gave it my all and kept solid focus and to me that is all that matters.

    While training I was listening to the latest Alice in Chains....motherfucker it has to be one of the best cd's I have heard in a long time. Heavy as fuck and just a solid AiC cd. wOOt! Even though Layne is no longer with us (RIP) it was still SOLID.

    Ok, I have to go...easter parade with the pups.

    Happy Easter everyone! Thank you again for the positive vibes!
     
  5. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Good Easter Monday to you all.

    Yesterdays Easter parade with the greyhounds was an overall success. However, getting there was a bitch since so many roads were blocked for the parade.

    Long story short, getting there was a bitch, parking was even more of a bitch, find the GiNA group in the parade was even more of a bitch than that, I managed to forget my cell in the car, got lost in the crowd (alone), couldn't find the group, freaked out, Maya (our dog) was so nervous as we were trying to navigate through the hordes of people she would stop, shake, and essentially pee'd herself....

    I was so mad that I decided to leave. However, I had no idea where Maya was (g/f) and I couldn't call her since I didn't have my cell....it was off to a rough start. But luckily enough as I was navigating back to where I last seen Maya and the car I found the GiNA group and within 2 min Maya showed up (YAY!)

    After that things went great...until a balloon popped, freaked out one of the other greyhounds, and I had to carry him for part of the 1km walk since he decided he wasn't going to walk anymore because he was so scared....and when you are walking at a snails pace and did a chest/tri workout JUST before heading to the parade it made things a little difficult. But I managed to carry him until he calmed down and was able to walk on his own.

    It made for good pictures, alot of laughs, and overall a great time. Especially the bunny ears that we put on Maya (the dog). At one point Maya (g/f) decided she was going to wear them for a bit as well. Both looked extremely cute and made me very thankful for what I have and reminded me how lucky I am to have both (and Davis) in my life.

    The 1km walk back to the car was a pretty good time as well. At that point the crowds had lessened making it easier to navigate back to the car. We were with another greyhound couple and their dog (We actually fostered their dog before he went to them). So we chatted and had a great time.

    2 hours of cardio!!! Wow...

    Once we got into the car Maya (the greyhound) passed out in the back seat. We drove home, dropped her off, and then went out for a bite to eat. We went to Licks where I had a lean turkey burger (with a whole wheat bun, pickles, hot peppers, and onions) Maya got a veggie burger, and we split a small fries and a small diet coke.

    After that we came home. Maya cleaned the house while I worked on cleaning the glass from the patio and yard (we had a wicked windstorm the night before and it tipped our new patio table over and shattered the glass top) So I had to take apart 1/3 of the patio ( big concrete slabs) and clean out the glass from inbetween the cracks, etc. By the time I had the patio back together and the glass cleaned up I was fuckin' wiped.

    I came inside, sat with Maya and chatted, from there we both snuggled on the couch and passed out. I became restless after awhile and tried to get up...that didn't work. Everytime I tried to get up Maya (g/f of course) would groan in her sleep and snuggle into me. So...I didn't get up for awhile. How could I say no to that? :p Though at one point Maya (the dog) was pacing and needed to go outside so I had to get up...unless I wanted to deal with pee on the carpet...:nope: So I let her out. I went and checked email and in that time Maya (g/f) got up and was moving.

    AFTER THAT! I made Maya (g/f) a nice dinner as a thank you for cleaning the house. I made her pasta with alfredo sauce, chicken w/ mushrooms and onions, and broccoli. What is impressive here is not that I made her a nice dinner but that we managed to talk and eat our massive plates worth of food in 5-7 min flat. I was really impressed that we could talk and chow that quickly, LOL.

    Ok so now that I have told you my life story....lol.

    Today I'm going to train back/bi's, tomorrow Legs. Should be interesting.

    FYI my chest and tri's are fuckin' KILLING me today. Shit!...unfortunately my shoulders too...not in the good way. I may have to say goodbye to my long time friend bench press. I'm going to wait it out a little longer but it might be time we parted ways....I'm going to miss it if it comes down to that. :(

    Ok time to eat.

    Have a great day everyone.
     
    #1265 Merk, Apr 5, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2010
  6. TheRyanator

    TheRyanator Well-Known Member

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    Glad it seems everyone elses words of motivation got you moving. I was gonna have to come in here and tell you I guess I was gonna beat you by miles in this cut. However, I can tell you are back now...and I am not so sure. :confused:

    A wise person in my life said one time that "if you don't think about quitting at least every week then you probably just are not that passionate about what you are doing." I know that might sound confusing, but it has resonated with me...and when I start thinking about quitting anything in life that statement reminds me to stop and take stock in whether what I am doing is worth while in terms of helping others, helping myself and helping the people I love. That makes me dig deep and make the decision to carry on for my own interests and the interests of others. I guess when you are passionate about something you work so hard at it that it makes you want to quit sometimes...but thats just the evil in us talking.:mad:

    Glad you are back on track buddy. Keep us posted.
     
  7. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Ha! They did for about 10 min and then right back into the rut I went.

    EPIC FAIL!

    I R Greatesst evur!1
     
  8. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Diet is shit

    Training. I totally fell off the workout bandwagon. I haven't trained in awhile. Even when I was shit was getting missed.

    I know myself and basically the biggest issue is I lack routine. I lack routine in every aspect in my life and basically that lack of routine and structure is fucking things up.

    As I have stated earlier if I don't have the items on my daily meal chart I completely shutdown and the entire day goes to shit for eating.

    Everything has to be pre-made, packed into containers, and ready to go the day previous, or even for the week. But no...that doesn't happen therefore I have failed each and everyday for sometime now in getting my shit together so that I may move forward with getting back into shape.

    Clearly I don't want it bad enough. Plain and simple. I remember back when I started I did everything in my power to succeed. Now I do everything in my power to find reasons to fail.

    "Nothing is prepped"

    DIET=FAIL

    "I have to work late"

    TRAINING=FAIL

    If I only stayed consistant after that cancelled show 2 years back. Shit if I had only kept GOING and not stopped I would be that much bigger....

    AHHHH! Bitch moment.

    To be honest I'm getting tired of this starting and stopping, you know? I'm constantly fighting to start and somehow I keep stopping. Again I just simply don't want it bad enough I guess. Logically I know I have to keep going in order to look how I want. But my heart just doesn't seem to care.

    What does one do?

    Oh well I'm not worried about it too too much.

    Someday I'll get back into it, I'll be sure to let you know when I do :)

    Take care of yourselves out there and have a great weekend.

    Peace.
     
  9. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Happy Sunday Morning to you all!

    I hope everyone has had a great weekend thus far and had a chance to relax a little :)

    Well I think this is a world record for me not being active on JSF. I have managed to make it to page 4 with my journal, WOW!

    Since the last time I have posted in my journal lots has changed. In May I picked up a full time job working at a dealership as part of the detailing unit there. Oddly enough it has to be one of the best places I have ever worked! The people are great and the company really know how to treat there employees. A company that finally understands the "a happy employee is a good employee" theory (boat cruises, bowling, BBQ's, lunches, popsicles on hot days, etc, etc....they do these things frequently for us) The pay is decent, benefits are awesome, and overall I actually enjoy getting up and going to work, wierd I know. :lol:

    Maya and I are still going strong. On Friday we celebrated our 3 year anniversary. Boy time flies! Last night we went out for sushi and had a great time...though I managed to stuff myself into a food coma and passed out once we got home, lol. It was nice to eat a solid meal like that and not really worry too much...let's hope it doesn't interfere too much with my diet and weight loss.

    What is this?! Diet and weight loss?!

    Yes kiddies I said that right. Though it isn't for why you think...well partially. Back in May I was tipping the scales at 178lbs which for me was a solid reminder of my fitness beginnings and how I promised myself I would never go back to where I started. Shortly after that discovery I managed to develop two inguinal hernias (left and right).

    Fun times :p

    Continuing on.

    After the discovery of my hernias I booked surgery with a hernia specific clinic here in Toronto. They asked for me to lose weight for the surgery (by the time I went in for the consultation I was 170lbs). They wanted me to lose 10 lbs in 5 weeks which would put me at 160lbs. So this of course has had me eating clean and trying hard to lose as much weight as I can. Right now I'm 165lbs and have another 2 weeks to go. Might I add I have done this without doing any cardio or weight training at all. The reason being is the amount of discomfort (FUCKING PAIN!!!!) I have recieved from just trying to pick up a water pail at work also any short walks leave me feeling mightly sore as well.

    I'm doing the best I can with what I can do and workin' it. Though I have been thinking of trying to push through a few light workouts and cardio over the next couple of weeks to drop this last 5-7 lbs. If I don't lose this weight for the surgery I don't get the surgery at all so....of course that means no weight training, no nothing until it is finally fixed. Now this of course doesn't sit well with me since I have my goal of competing next year or the year after (as well as weight lifting records to hit...I haven't forgotten) so I need to get this dealt with as soon as possible.

    Now the surgery itself is a little different than most. There is no mesh used, no general anesthetic, and no massive time off work and training. I walk into my surgery (literally) and walk out (literally). I will be awake and then doing exercises the next morning, crazy I know but the place I am going is the best of the best and out of the over the 300,000 hernia surgeries they have done they have had over a 99% success rate.

    It has been encouraged I start weight training again immediately after surgery and will be back up to my normal training in 4 to 6 weeks. I can return to work within 8 days. Now because of what I do for an occupation I want to give myself a little more time off to mend so I will be off for 2 weeks.

    Not too shabby, eh?

    Anyways, I best be off today Maya and I are going to get her her anniversary gift and then off to downtown Toronto to get coffee.

    Have a great day everyone!

    ~Ronn
     
  10. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    Hiya Ronn! Congrats to you and Maya on three years together. :tucool:

    Sounds as if things are going well despite your hernias and I hope everything goes well with the surgery and your recovery.

    One question, what type of detailing are you doing, automobiles or something else?

    Lastly, don't be a stranger. ;)
     
  11. kree-kree

    kree-kree Well-Known Member

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    Happy 3 year anniversary to you and Maya!!! Sorry to hear about the hernia's but you'll be back to weight lifting in no time. Just be careful! How nice to actually enjoy your job....Makes life so much nicer when your day doesn't start off crappy! Tell Maya I said HI!
     
  12. Rogozhin

    Rogozhin Active Member

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    Thanks for the update, hope you don't go stealthninja on us again. :P
     
  13. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Glad to see you stop by :)

    I do detail automobiles (as fun as that is sometimes...:rolleyes:, lol)

    I have my fingers crossed the surgery goes well.
     
  14. Maya

    Maya Well-Known Member

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    .

    :wave:
     
  15. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    So I'm 164.2 as of this morning. I have another 4 lbs to lose before next Sunday. I think we all know that most likely won't happen. Though I should be able to drop another 1-2 lbs which will put me in the green zone for the surgery (they wanted me to drop to 160 but I can weigh up to 163 according to the pamphlet they gave me).

    This surgery has had so many positive effects on my life I must say. It has got me back into the groove of dieting again, I've lost weight and actually look half decent again, my clothes fit far better, and I feel overall alot better about myself. :)

    Over the past 4 weeks or so I have switched over to virtually all fiborious carbs (every few days I might have something that has some starchy carbs in it but very little overall). I actually feel alot better because of it. Eating starchy carbs tends to make me feel sluggish the day after and really bloated. I know of a few bodybuilders that eat almost no starchy carbs and look amazing. I'm going to try this method out for a bit (4-6 months) and see where it takes me. To elaborate a little more these people are eating anywhere from 300-400 grams of carbs daily but it is all fiborious with a refeed every few days or so (having some yams on the refeed).

    I'm so excited to start weight training after this surgery is over, yay! Then I'm going to hold off until the winter and get the second hernia repaired (that way I have more time in with the company and my benefits will have kicked in by then).

    Well I'm off, I have to go invest some time in checking out different internet companies. The company we are with just aren't cutting it anymore.

    Have a great Sunday!

    ~Ronn
     
  16. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    :whistle:
     
  17. IROC-Z

    IROC-Z Raw Bench Daddy

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    Nice to see you're still lurking around. Hope all is well with you!:) I don't keep my journal here anymore, but I'm still training hard. How about an update???????
     
  18. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    Hi Ronn. I hope all is well.
     
  19. kree-kree

    kree-kree Well-Known Member

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    Dont just wander around here....at least give us an update???? Have you and Maya had any kids, gotten married, adopted any new dogs?????;) How's the personal training buisness going???
     
  20. Merk

    Merk Satan is my spirit animal

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    Hey Kree,

    Things here are pretty much the norm, work, food, sleep, repeat. Maya and I still going strong. I cannot believe we have been together over three years now...where has the time gone?!

    Not married...yet, lol.

    No kids

    We have three greys now. We adopted Davis over the summer so we have two that are officially ours. The third is our new foster who at this point may end up like Davis, LOL.

    Diet, training, etc. completely none existant in our lives at this point. Though I think we are in desperate need for it. I'm 170-ish and not the good kind of 170-ish. I'm fat! I went from being in great shape to...well...round is my shape. I eat crap and therefore look like it as well. I wish what I am saying was an understatement but it 'tis quite true.

    I keep telling myself that I will start next week...but trust me I have been saying that for many weeks ago I can tell ya, lol....wait, not lol.

    The personal training business turned out to be a complete flop. No one is really interested and considering the way I look I can understand why no one wants to train with me. Plus I really don't have the time for it at this point, my job takes up alot of my time.

    One of these days I may return to my former glory...or I may not. We'll see....
     

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