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M@ as hell...

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by M@, Mar 20, 2006.

  1. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 270.2 lbs
    Bodyfat: 28.3%

    I got caught up on sleep last night with a solid 7.5 hours and am feeling human again.

    The spot where I got the pellets inserted blossomed into a massive purple and red bruise yesterday. It was itching and hurting and I thought that maybe I'd gotten an infection or that my body was rejecting the drugs. I was counseled that this is normal for the first couple of procedures and, sure enough, today it's feeling fine. I can tell that it's starting to kick in a little bit. I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks.
     
  2. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 269.4 lbs
    Bodyfat: 29.1 %

    So it's been a week since I got the testosterone pellets inserted and am healed up enough to start working out vigorously again. The effects are remarkable. If you told me that this was as good as it was going to get, I'd be all-in and ready for the next treatment. Fact is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. It's supposed to get better for two more weeks before it levels off. I love it. Some of the things I've clearly noticed:
    • Overall energy increase
    • Recover more quickly from energetically taxing things
    • Libido roaring back to life
    • More alert and less fatigued after interrupted sleep
    • Better sleep overall
    • Huge confidence increase - things that would've made me worry last week are easily blown off as trivial
    • Less procrastination - I've taken care of a half-dozen things that I've been putting off for 1-6 months
    I was kicking myself for having waited so long before returning to HRT but the fact of the matter is that I needed to get off of it for a couple of years so that we could have a family. Now that we've got two beautiful, healthy kids, I'm back in the game. We may still have a third kid, but I'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, we're both too taxed with two little ones to contemplate another.

    I can't wait to get back under the bar tomorrow and start doing this all right. :flex:
     
  3. gazareth

    gazareth Senior Member

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    I think this is called a dependency chain :lol:

    --

    How come you need to come off HRT to have kids? Does it slow down your swimmers or something?
     
  4. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Yeah: The Testim gel shut my sperm production down entirely. :nod:
     
  5. dejavued

    dejavued Senior Member

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  6. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Reported. :blank:

    Weight: 288.9 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.4%

    Yes, that's right. I am the heaviest I've ever been. I am more than 20 lbs over my previous heaviest weight. Here are some fun things that have happened to my body:
    • My head is too fat for my motorcycle helmet.
    • I've got some kind of edema which has swollen my feet too big for most of my shoes and my hands to big for my wedding ring.
    • My face has gone from horse-faced long to nearly spherical.
    • I'm wearing trousers with a 46" waist.
    • I no longer fit into any of my former fat clothes.
    • My gut crushes my diaphragm when I bend double to put on shoes, pull weeds, etc. This leaves me red-faced and sweating from such simple acts. I changed out of my motorcycle boots at work and a coworker asked me if I was having a heart-attack.
    • I have sleep apnea and my sleep-tracking app says I'm getting about 3.5 hours of sleep per night despite spending 7.5 hours in bed.
    I'm at the point where - if I commit utterly to a nutrition program and follow it without fail - I could hit my target weight of 185 lbs in about a year.

    I have 100 lbs to lose.


    It's safe to say that I haven't adapted to having a second child very well. I thought that the lack of discipline was from stress-fatigue from work and school, but now that school is over for the summer I'm realizing there's no drop off. I am a slave to my children. I will have no free time that I do not deliberately carve out of my schedule (and negotiate in advance with my wife). Even then, I have to be prepared to drop what I'm doing at a moment's notice if Sara gets overwhelmed.

    Is that the cause of everything? No. I just went to a birthday party full of people who have multiple kids to wrangle and was the fattest, most out-of-shape dad there. Many of them were extremely fit.

    The cause of everything is my absolute shit attention to nutrition, my indulgence in rich foods whenever it's time to eat, and my consumption of stupid, staggering, health-wrecking, fattening quantities (1200-1600 calories/day) of beer.

    So I haven't been real enthusiastic about coming back here and sharing this info, but I'm going to die if I don't confront this and stop it.

    Now the good news:
    • The testosterone supplementation is still awesome.
    • I've just completed a sleep study for my apnea and should have a treatment for that issue in the next couple of weeks.
    • I've worked out every day since April 1st and am well past all the DOMs etc. that come with starting fresh.
    • I have the entire Summer off of school and can feel a reserve of energy from not having to deal with that every week.
    • My family is healthy and my kids are f**king adorable.
    • I played a great round of golf with Philly on Tuesday, who remarked, "You don't look like you're 285."
    Setting goals now. Going to work through Tom Venuto's program to get this thing started.

    :surrender:
     
    Merk and dejavued like this.
  7. macdiver

    macdiver Well-Known Member
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    Welcome back. Good to hear your family is doing great.

    We are here to support you not judge you.

    You can do this.

    I'm a big believer in focusing on the one thing that will make the biggest difference. Wether it's the beer, junk food or something else, change one thing, get that right then pick the next biggest impact thing.
     
  8. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    Hi M@. Glad to see you posting even thought the narrative isn't what you want it to be. The five ending and positive points, especially the one about your family, was great to read.

    Slow and steady; you want to do this for you, for S., and for your kids and you know what to do.
     
  9. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    :wave: It's good to be posting again. I have a gut feeling that it's going to stick this time.

    That's why I love it here: Everybody else is a much better person than me. :dreamy:

    I judge everyone. :blank:

    Weight: 284.6 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.7%

    Had a good weekend. Didn't get to do the planning and meal preparation that I would have liked to because it was Mother's Day. My gift to Sara was to take care of the kids every waking moment (with the exception of 1hour each day for my workout). I think I bonded a bit more with my little girl who is firmly within the smiling blob phase of babyhood (4 phases: Blob, Smiling Blob, Monkey, Crazy Monkey). I ate well without overeating.

    Today's the first day with the goal to hit my targets 100%. I'm going to be +/- 100 calories of my target (2296 cal), get my workout in, and not drink.
     
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  10. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 285.0 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.6%

    100% compliant yesterday. Bonus workout getting all of the toys, chairs, plants, and anything else that could become a missile in high winds out of the yard and into the garage ahead of a nasty line of storms.
     
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  11. dejavued

    dejavued Senior Member

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    woo hoo! time to get yourself healthy and happy!
     
  12. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    :dance:

    The time should've been a year ago, but the second-best time is definitely now. :nod:

    Weight: 282.2 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.4%

    I spent a good percentage of the day yesterday peeing. :o

    I'm assuming that a couple of days on a much lower sodium diet have helped with the bloating a bit. My face, is still puffy and I still can't get my wedding ring on easily, so there's still more distance to cover on the water-weight front, but it's definitely improving.

    I'm signed up on the Tom Venuto "Burn the Fat Inner Circle" site because I wanted to see what the meal planning and e-Book downloads were like (spoiler alert: They're nothing special). I can't spend much time there while I'm at work because it has pictures of people in their underwear all over it. There's a summer challenge starting in two days. It's fourteen weeks, with some pretty sweet prizes (trip to Jamaica, iPad Pro, etc.) for like the entire duration that I will be out of school. I'm really tempted to join. I'm also really hesitant about putting uncensored photos of my current sluglike physique on the internet. :confused:

    Gonna have to make up my mind soon. :confused:
     
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  13. dejavued

    dejavued Senior Member

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    Sounds like a perfectly timed challenge :nod:
     
    #4913 dejavued, May 17, 2018
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
  14. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    :nod: Agreed

    I looked through some of the prior challenges and they seem legit. The winners don't look like pros that have gotten fat only to shed it all for the contest. They look distressingly like me, at least the before photos. :o

    I think I'll sign up today with the intention of starting on Sunday.

    Weight: 281.9 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.2%

    Further water-weight equalization. I'm going to miss this rapid progress. 7lbs in a week is very motivating.

    The idea that if I make excellent (2 lbs/week) progress on the BTF challenge I'll wind up in the 250 lb range is disheartening, but I got myself into this mess.
     
  15. Shamie

    Shamie Senior Member

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    Good luck.
     
  16. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Thanks! :thanks:

    The contest rules stipulate that I can't journal my progress on another fitness site and remain eligible for prizes, so I'll be going quiet here for the Summer. Will check in via other people's threads instead. :nod:
     
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  17. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    I hope the contest goes according to your plan!
     
  18. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Plan? :confused:

    Weight: 279.7 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.2%

    9.2 lbs lost this week! :spaz:

    At this rate, I'll hit my goal-weight of 185 by August. :nod:
     
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  19. macdiver

    macdiver Well-Known Member
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    Good luck.

    You can still let us know how you and your family are doing.
     
  20. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    :nod:

    Weight: 278.5 lbs
    Bodyfat: 27.6%

    Kinda wish this contest had started a week ago. :rolleyes:

    I'm coming down with a nasty cold. Feel like hell. Still gonna work out and eat right. Actually, my appetite is rather suppressed, so there's a silver lining.
     

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