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M@ as hell...

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by M@, Mar 20, 2006.

  1. PeteBDawg

    PeteBDawg Well-Known Member

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    I've been trying to do this too the last couple of weeks, and amazing how much it helps mental health. A really good idea!

    Good luck taking on your goals! One thing I heard in a podcast recently that I really connected with is that as somebody really experienced with this stuff it can be especially frustrating when it doesn't work -- partly because while you might be really experienced doing it one way, you're actually kind of a novice at doing it a different way.

    You're not just getting in shape, you're getting in shape as a dad with a demanding job and two kids. It makes you a bit of a rookie again, which contradicts with your own feeling that this is something you ought to already know how to do.

    And to really feel motivated, it helps to have those feelings of autonomy and mastery - you know what you're doing and know how to do it.

    So it's something you have to learn how to do again. No shame in that! When you build that experience of how to do it in the context of your current lifestyle, which you have a big head start on because of your previous experience, even if it involves relearning some basics in a new way, the sense of mastery will come back, and the motivation will return!

    Sorry to go on a bit, I just really connected with your entry. Harvey was such a monster - don't sell short what an accomplish it was to get through that. Good luck! You got this!
     
  2. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    Thanks for the update Matt. Fitness aside many positive things have taken place in the latter half of 2017 and it was nice to read about them. Most of all congrats on the birth of your daughter!
     
  3. gazareth

    gazareth Senior Member

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    Hey Matt!!! :dreamy:

    Congrats on the birth of your daughter!

    So much this, and it tallies with pretty much all of my attempts at fat loss - if I'm doing it for the sake of numbers only, I might make progress at some point but eventually the motivation to go off-plan becomes stronger than the motivation to reach the goal. For me personally, having performance goals always motivates me a lot more and helps keep me on track. I don't know if that's something you could look at? e.g. run a 10K in X minutes, compete in a CrossFit competition, win Olympic Gold in table tennis, etc :lol:
     
  4. macdiver

    macdiver Well-Known Member
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    BIG CONGRATULATIONS in the birth of your daughter.

    Congratulations on the new job.

    Realistic goals are important in achieving the results you deserve
     
  5. phillydude

    phillydude Don't Never Give Up.

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    M@... congr@ts!

    We should connect by phone sometime soon... I'll try to make that happen.

    Miss you, buddy... all the best to Sara as well.
     
  6. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Wow! :eek: I hadn't looked at it that way at all. That is a valuable perspective, thank you!

    Thanks! She woke up at 3:15 am and just wanted to hang out until 4:45. :blank:

    I think that the aesthetic goal of looking good and finding a mate was a big driver towards previous near-success. I think the stand that I have to take now is to set a good example for my kids. My son's at the point where he's mimicking everything I do. I can't pretend he doesn't understand anymore. :confused:

    :thanks:

    Damn straight! Spring needs to get here ASAP so we can get out on the golf course. :guitar:

    Weight: 267.5 lbs
    Bodyfat: 30.7%

    I bought a one-year subscription to EatThisMuch.com and am really impressed with the meal-planning software so far. The thing that sold me on the site was that the developer is an active participant on the r/Fitness subreddit and regularly responds to questions. I'm still learning how to work the site and plan to establish next week's program (<2400 cal | 30p/40f/30c) this weekend.

    I was in a deep sleep last night, having a serious dream, when the serious antagonist in the dream started making a rhythmic sucking-noise with his lips. I, and everyone else in the dream, looked at the antagonist confusedly. Then it started fading. I woke up to see my son staring at me, sucking on his binkie, at 2:00 am. He pulled the pacifier out of his mouth and said, "Dad. Bottle."
     
  7. gazareth

    gazareth Senior Member

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    You can probably eat more calories than that. I'm eating 2200-2400 a day at the moment and losing weight at around 70lbs lighter than you. Don't deprive yourself :)
     
  8. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Will definitely bump them up if I'm feeling deprived, but my activity level right now is loooooow. :kickrock:
     
  9. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 271.1 lbs
    Bodyfat: 31.1%

    The government is shut down but my organization isn't funded through the appropriations bill, so we're still up and running as usual. The parking lot was as full as it is on a normal day, so I'm guessing that essential personnel have a habit of getting here early. The cafeteria is closed and many hallways are dark.

    After a week of contemplation, I've decided that my goal is to adhere 100% to a cutting program. Not to hit any specific weight or bodyfat percentage, but to see what happens when I actually commit 100%. Pete's observation above - that I'm at, essentially, a whole new starting point - made me realize that the things that have derailed my progress in the past (i.e. social interactions, work stress, etc.) are things that I can avoid or dismiss entirely. As long as I'm keeping up my responsibilities to my family, I can blow off any party, happy hour, etc. that might screw up my progress. In fact, I'll probably be better off on the home front for skipping those kinds of things - even when the alternative is me cooking chicken and brown rice in the kitchen.

    I stopped at the grocery store on the way in to work to get veggies, hummus, cooked chicken breast, and some fruit. I'm going to set up my meal plan for the week and will stop again on the way home to pick up all the necessary supplies.

    Instead of spending the first five hours of the day yesterday on the couch, watching TV, I took Alex and Lily to a local park with a big playground. I put Lily into the baby Bjorn and wore her around while Alex played his heart out. When I got him home he was just hanging off of me like a sock monkey and went down for his nap without a seconds' fuss. It was a pain in the ass to wrangle the two of them - with all of their stuff - into the car, but worth it to have gotten outside and spent some time actually moving. I'm going to build on this and will take them out to hike on some of the local trails. I love being out in the woods and we have access to some of the most gorgeous hiking in the USA within 45 minutes drive. It's time to take advantage of that.

    "If architects want to strengthen a decrepit arch, they increase the load which is laid upon it, for thereby the parts are joined more firmly together." - Viktor Frankl
     
    gazareth likes this.
  10. phillydude

    phillydude Don't Never Give Up.

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    Good on you for getting outside yesterday... Ellen was here in RH for the weekend and we thought about kayaking... until we walked down to the end of the street and the bay was a sheet of 3" thick ice. I offered to put her in the kayak and push her out onto the surface, but for some reason she balked at that idea.

    I don't know if you have the room to store baby stuff in the car, but we found that buying an extra set of the essentials like a simple stroller, stocked diaper bag, etc (even if it was used stuff off Craigslist) and stashing it in the trunk made those trips easier... and for those times when you are out somewhere and "forget" something (like a change of clothes/diapers or an emergency container of baby food) its great to be able to just reach in the back and have it instead of looking for someplace to buy it (or worse, having to go home because you don't have it handy).
     
  11. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    There's not much room, but that's a really good suggestion. I'm surprised this is the first I've heard of it. :confused: :tu:

    Weight: 269.2 lbs
    Bodyfat: 31.4%

    Got the first wrench in the works last night when I arrived home: My son came down with the stomach flu. He had a high fever and couldn't keep anything down. My plans to do meal prep were shelved while we dealt with that. My folks went to a local restaurant and brought us some food - I had a grilled chicken breast with angel hair pasta and haricourt verts that was probably close enough to my planned meal (chicken breast, olive oil, brown rice, and parmesan asparagus) that I consider the day a complete success.

    I took today off to help out and because the last time he caught the stomach flu, Sara and I soon followed. I don't know if I'm sick or not. I've been very good about not touching my mouth and washing my hands frequently. Fingers crossed.

    Sara is about to head out to a dentist appointment. I'm going to download "Bladerunner 2049" and watch that while I look after the kids in her absence. When she comes back, I'll head down to lift weights and then do meal prep.
     
  12. Seltzer

    Seltzer Elite Member

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    I hope the little guy recovers quickly and no one else in the house gets the bug.

    Have a good workout.
     
  13. gazareth

    gazareth Senior Member

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    :tucool:


    Shit happens (no pun intended) - you made healthy choices, and if you make that the habit then results will come. :)

    Did you like it? I thought it was awesome :dreamy:
     
  14. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    I caught the bug (small wonder since the only place he wanted to be the whole time he was sick was in my lap/arms) but it was much milder than last time. After a day of nausea (no vomiting) yesterday, I'm feeling 90% now. Still worked out. :flex:

    I loved it. It also cemented Denis Villeneuve as one of my favorite directors (along with David Fincher and Danny Boyle.) In the past three months I've watched "Sicario"*, "The Arrival", and now "Bladerunner 2049". They're all so incredibly atmospheric. His visuals, narrative, and sound design are all incredible. Glad I bought it outright instead of renting it.

    Weight: 265.5 lbs
    Bodyfat: 31.6%

    5.6 lbs lost since Monday :lol:

    Three 100% days in the books and one in-progress. I had enough calories left over last night - and needed a significant bump to fat and protein - to make a protein shake with milk and natural peanut butter. Sara couldn't believe how excited I was.

    I've been eating clean for four days now, but I've been tracking my nutrition for over two weeks. I wanted to see what kind of baseline I was working from. Looking back on the start of 2018, I'm dumbfounded at how much trash I've been putting into my body. The thing that kills me was that I didn't think I was eating that poorly. :eek:

    I've started wearing my FitBit Charge HR again. I'm incredibly disappointed in the construction quality of the product, but its step, heart rate, and sleep tracking are all superior to anything I've been able to coax out of the Apple watch (Series 2.) There's almost a 2:1 disparity in steps and I've compared the two side by side (actually counting steps) and found the FitBit to be accurate while the iWatch is skipping almost every other step. What's odd is that the health app on the iPhone tracks steps as accurately as the FitBit. I wish Apple would buy FitBit and poach all of their good tech into the iWatch.

    *Bizarre fact: The screenplay for "Sicario" - and it's upcoming sequel - was written by Taylor Sheridan, who played Deputy Chief Hale in the first two seasons of Sons of Anarchy. We've only recently started watching SoA (and love it) and the name seemed familiar.
     
  15. gazareth

    gazareth Senior Member

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    Arrival was equal parts amazing and traumatising - I bought it on BluRay but haven't been able to muster up to watching it again yet :lol: I also really recommend his other films Incendies and Prisoners if you haven't seen them. Enemy is also his but it's absolutely batshit crazy :crazy:
     
  16. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 265.9 lbs
    Bodyfat: 31.5%

    My sinuses started to hurt and I felt a little feverish yesterday evening. I have no idea what kind of hell-virus the little kid has contracted (and shared) but it's hitting me like a low-grade cocktail of five or six different illnesses. Fortunately, both he and the infant slept (mostly) through the night. The baby woke up at 4am, but went back down quickly after a change, bottle, and burp. FitBit says I got 7 hours and 33 minutes. That's gotta be the first time I've gotten that much sleep since 12/11/2017.

    Working on another perfect day. It was nice to grab two meals out of the 'fridge and head out the door this morning. I'm going to try to swing by the Apple store and drop my phone off for a battery replacement.
     
  17. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Agreed! I don't know if I'll ever watch it again (the "loss of a child" theme hits too close to the bone these days) but I'm glad I gave it a whirl. I'll check my streams and see if I can find Prisoners or Incendies.

    I can't wait to see what he does with Dune! :spaz: :spaz: :spaz:
     
  18. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 267.7
    Bodyfat: 29.7%

    Blew up two meals over the weekend and finished out the week 1600 calories overall. Shouldn't affect progress too much, but I need to do something to shore up my behavior and prevent things like that from happening.

    MBA classes started today. My professor is a nightmare who doesn't understand technology. She's got five postgraduate degrees, owns her own law firm, does consulting, and is a paid speaker on workplace relationships so she's one of those people who has a dozen irons in the fire at all times. She's posting massive volumes of cut-and-paste information, much of which repeats itself, in various locations throughout the online classroom and she doesn't take the time to format anything. Should be a fun 12 weeks. :rolleyes:
     
  19. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 267.9 lbs
    Bodyfat: 30.2%

    I left work early, cruised through a workout I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about on autopilot, and went to the local Alamo to see The Last Jedi. It was so good to have some time to myself (Sara took the kids to her parents' house) and I very much enjoyed the film. Sara also saw the film, independently, and we chatted about it when she got home in the evening.

    The kids slept through the night. I was awakened at 5:54 am (six minutes before my alarm) by the baby crying and then Alex coming out of his room. It's the first time that's happened since Lily was born on the 11th. My iWatch says I got 7 hours of sleep. That's gotta be a record for these past two months. Feels wonderful.

    I have an appointment tomorrow to get testosterone pellets implanted in my body somewhere. I'm eager to see how this works in comparison to the gels (awesome) shots (awful) and Clomid (meh) I've used over the past five years. Right now I'm on Clomid and am holding steady at around 380 ng/Dl, which leaves little energy and negligible libido. When I was on the topical gel, I was up between 900-1100 ng/Dl which felt like I could walk onto the field at an NFL game, play a dozen snaps, and work my way through the cheerleading squad afterwards. I'm hoping for something more like the latter, but will take any middle ground I can get.

    Insurance doesn't cover any of this so I'll be paying out of pocked, but will be reimbursed by my FSA. Just hope I don't need the FSA money for any more dental work.
     
  20. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    Weight: 272.5 lbs
    Bodyfat: 29.7%

    We ordered Domino's during the Superbowl last night. I knew I'd pay for it today. Actually, I paid for it all night with wicked heartburn. Between that and both kids taking turns waking up, I got little to no sleep.

    Pretty sure I have sleep apnea. My GP has put an order in for a home testing kit. What little sleep I manage to get is not very restorative. I wonder how much of that contributes to my fatigue.

    I got twelve testosterone pellets inserted into my hip on Thursday. I fell asleep on the table during the procedure. Total cost was $850 out of pocket, which it appears my FSA will reimburse. No noticeable effect yet.

    I'm not supposed to work out until Thursday to let the incision heal. Will focus on nutrition instead.
     

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