At one point in my life, probably after a terrible flight, where I sat next to a crying baby, I swore that if I ever had children, I would sooner sail around the continent than subject another human being to hours in confinement with a whiny child. So, my wife doesn't really like boats. And we have a child. And he can be whiny. And we need to get from Chicago to New Jersey. Can you guess where this is going? Tomorrow afternoon, at 12:35 PM, about 100 unsuspecting travelers will board a plane, hoping for a pleasant and peaceful flight. Enter the Kirk family, brandishing a very vocal 15-month old boy, eager to show off his newly learned vocabulary and freshly improved whining skills. Do airports have 24x7 alcohol service?