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Just got told that I have an eating disorder

Discussion in 'Fat Loss/Cutting' started by kolin, Apr 5, 2005.

  1. kolin

    kolin Well-Known Member

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    Ok first off I'm still really fat. It gross. Ive got the man boobs and all right. So with that in mind it seems a bit odd that I got told tonight that i have an eating disorder and that I'm "obsessed" with lossing weight.

    I've lost 47 pounds now in 3 months but i still have about 40 more to go. I am fat still. yet I get told that i care too much. I think maybe i should just never talk about what I'm doing with anyone (ECSPECIALLY IF THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT) cuase they just end up taking offense and telling you that you have some psychologically screwed up brain.

    6 months ago i wasnt even thinking about the fact that I ate fast food like twice a day. I was 47lbs fatter. Yet then noone said anything like this. I HAD AN EATING DISORDER when i was cramming down pizza and burgers everyday.

    Now that i'm eating healthy people are getting really pissed off. Its like they are threatened by me. If i ever bring anything up at all about being healthy everyone says things like "well it only matters what a person is on the inside...dont be shallow about it"

    ummm...i dont think i agree. First of all it dosnt ONLY MATTER what they are on the inside. How healthy a person is and what they look like is important in and of itself. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder.

    Second...when you say that its "only the inside that matters" yet at the same time get mad at me for what i care about (which is presently
    getting in shape) that utter disregard for what I'm caring about isnt really paying respect to what is "on the inside" in me is it.

    I'm getting really tierd of this new "fat pride" thing.
     
  2. Human Clay

    Human Clay Well-Known Member

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    I'm tired of the "fat pride" thing, too, but that's them and there's only so much we can do about it as individuals. The best thing you can do to counteract this normalization of an unhealthy lifestyle in our society is to live your life as healthy as you can, and maybe one of these days one of those fat pride-types will say "you know, I think you're on to something" and take your lead.
     
  3. OneTechnique

    OneTechnique Well-Known Member

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    amen to every thing you both just said, but hey if some one thinks they are happy beiong fat then let them be, it's not like we have to sit about and say we are happy for being overweight or fat, we are on a pilgramage of healthyness well thats how i see it, im still young, 21 years old, by this time next year, ill hopefully be healthy and have a BF% of about 10%, as long as your happy, then its all good:)

    ^^Known For Getting Of Topic^^ :o
     
  4. don_1987

    don_1987 Well-Known Member

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    First of all, let me apologize because I didn't quite get your message, who said you have an eating disorder? A nutritionist of a friend?
    Oh, and by the way, some people out there care about health and nutrition, but most of them don't. So it's a complete waste of time, telling or even explaining to them of your goal, method and accomplishment. Yes, and even up to some point, they consider it as an insult. (Dumb eh?) I think they consider you're having an eating disorder, because frankly your eating habits are far different from them, so according to them, you're having a disorder.

    I know the proud feeling of accomphishing our goal, especially in term of weight loss, but some selfish individuals out there simply don't appreciate the efforts and hard works we put into. That's why, i try not to show the entire world of what I've accomplished or my knkowledge. In fact, I only shared them to people who are interested and appreciating. JSF is certainly one of them, and that's the number one reason I love this site. It contains different people with different goal, purpose etc... but we all share one point of view.

    Oh and one more thing, when they say that physical apprearance isn't that important, I totally disagree with that. Well up to some point it might be true, but the fact of the matter is, the whole world judge you first by your appearance. When people meet each other, they don't see your soul or personality first, it's your physique and attitude that welocomes them. So your appearance gives the first impression to the people you meet.
     
  5. OneTechnique

    OneTechnique Well-Known Member

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    i must admit, i dont mind being called shallow or what ever people want to say, i have no problem admiting that looks count for 50+% of life, i want to look great, slim waist, defined abs, and i refuse to stop untill i gain this, and even then i refuse to stop, being in shape is a life style and a good one at that,

    peace :spaz:
     
  6. Cziffra

    Cziffra Well-Known Member

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    Faced with that argument I use to point out that you never have a second chance to make a first impression.
     
  7. seoulnewfie

    seoulnewfie Well-Known Member

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    I hear ya!

    During my trek to where I am, people got on my case too.

    A couple things I try and remember. I was once a part of the "fat pride". Heck, in college the group I hung out with at the dorm were known as the "Fat Bastards" and we were so proud of that! Whenever we saw someone eating healthy we'ed be all like "I'd rather be fat and eat what I want than be in shape and eat rabbit food!" But oh how times change.

    Try and remember when you are around your friends that they don't share the same interest in fitness as you. Of course there is no need to give you crap for it. But if it is not a shared interest, find something that is and use it together. That's what I have to do because NOBODY is as fitness crazed as I am in my circle of friends. They support me (as true friends should, if they don't ditch 'em) but I did see them getting bored with all the health talk from me so I made sure to change it up so that they can feel comfortable too. I still talk about my fitness interest but it is not all I talk about like before.

    By the way! Great job so far in the weight loss! :tu:
     
  8. thorionthei

    thorionthei Well-Known Member

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    kolin i hear ya. While I've never been told that and honestly never have gone hard core with the obsession for too long. I notice when I do "obssess" over it is when I get my best results. Sadly that is what it takes.

    I have friends who obssess much more about these things than I do. While I think these guys are a little silly at times for not cheating just once in a while...they both look much better than me. That is what it takes. Keep going!
     
  9. Bluestreak

    Bluestreak Well-Known Member

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    If you ask me, you had the eating disorder before you lost weight. Not now.

    You represent the potential those around you have, but lack the courage to reach for. Keep doing what you're doing and get used to the naysayers, they don't go away. They just get quieter. As you continue to lose weight and get healthy, it flies in the face of every insecurity your detractors possess - and your success reminds them every time they see you.

    Chin up. It gets easier. Great job losing all that weight - keep it up.

    -R
     
  10. jsbrook

    jsbrook Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry about the detractors, kolin. It IS possbile develop an unhealthy obessions with 'health', fitness, and weight loss. Health in quotes because when it does become an obsession, it's not healthy anymore. But it doesn't sound like you're there. And, anyhow, I think a little bit of an obssession is necessary to make the progress you need to make especially if you have a lot of fat left to lose. Eventually, it will become second nature and you'll be eating healthy and working out hard on auto-pilot. You'll be able to compartmentalize. Health and fitness will be one very constructive and satisfying aspect of your life, but you'll need to give it very little conscious thought except when actually eating and working out (or posting on JSF-for me, my outlet for a strong interest in nutrition and fitness). For now, embrace your new lifestyle as you're developing the habits and mindset that will last a lifetime. You'll have a healthier mind and body. I don't think you can reach your mental potential in an unhealthy body. I've seen several posts like this one from people on the forums. It makes me sad about some parts of our society. They say you can never be too rich or too thin. This seems to be true in my experience. Where I'm from, everybody aspires to look great and/or attain good health, with varying degrees of success. Maybe it's cause I'm from a fairly wealthy area. While I've never had anybody tell me I'm wrong, I have experienced some jealousy from people who want the results but don't want to do the work. Fortunately it's been minimal, at least that which has been overtly expressed. But that's no fun either. Just have faith in what you're doing, Kolin. And keep up the good work!
     
  11. wite-owl

    wite-owl Well-Known Member

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    Here's the thing, and pardon me if I'm MIS-reading between the lines. Are they bringing up your visible physical changes, or are you bringing up your healthy lifestyle? If you're bringing it up, it may seem like unsolicited "advice", or as if you're hinting that they should change their lifestyle. So they get on the defensive.

    Overweight people have issues. Partly because they're tired of being told by society that if they're overweight they're also lazy, dirty, probably poor, and unintelligent. And rather than verbalizing "lifestyle is a personal choice and I'd rather talk about something else", they lash out.

    So, to make a long story(lecture) short (too late), you might be right - you might want to keep your changes to yourself unless you're with like-minded people, or unless/until they say, "Hey, you look great! What are you doing differently?"

    Pax vobiscum
     
  12. phoenix808

    phoenix808 Well-Known Member

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    If i hear my mother say that I need to "stop losing weight" one more time i'll scream.

    I've taken it incredibly slow (100lbs in 2+ years) and sensibly. I couldn't have done this better.

    If you're doing it in a healthy fashion, then be true to yourself.
     
    #12 phoenix808, Apr 5, 2005
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2005
  13. mason

    mason Well-Known Member

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    Don't get derailed. You'll be fine.
     
  14. Chameleon

    Chameleon Well-Known Member

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    what really annoyed me recently, I was at the doctor because I've been sick... flu & a really bad cough... he saw a mole on my face (that has been there all my life) and asked if I wanted to have it removed.. my response "no, I'm not that vain, if it's not hurting me I don't care about it" his response was that I must be vain if I work out so much... what an a*# hole.. I couldn't believe that my doctor was calling me vain because I try to be healthy and stay in shape.. jerk
     
  15. mason

    mason Well-Known Member

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    Time to find a new doctor. :nod:
     
  16. Chameleon

    Chameleon Well-Known Member

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    I know... but trying to find a GOOD general practitioner around here is like trying to find a needle in a haystack... Bluestreak goes all the way out to Cocoa Beach (45 minute drive one way) to see his family doctor (the one he went to as a kid)... but no way am I driving 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back to see a doctor... some day I'll find a good one here in Orlando.. maybe :confused: :p
     
  17. mason

    mason Well-Known Member

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    Good luck. Sounds like this guy is kind of a prick. He was totally out of line saying something like that to you and even that fact that he suggested removing a mole without you mentioning is pretty rude.
     
  18. Chameleon

    Chameleon Well-Known Member

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    I know.. I try to only go to him if I'm REALLY sick... any other problem and I pick a specialist... I have a PPO so I don't need a reference from the jerk to go see someone who know's what their doing :p
     
  19. Savyart

    Savyart Well-Known Member

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    You know, in this day it seems that almost on ALL levels people are more interested in "diagnosing" someone for something than they are about CHANGING anything. And lordy, if you are one of those "freaks" who is doing something different from THEM - my goodness you must have several disorders - count yourself lucky for them only suggesting the ONE. :mad:

    Heaven forbid a person should choose to exercise and eat healthy - JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO???

    I'm sick of it all too - the over stated reasons why people who are intent on being their best are some "type of personality" who are "prone to certain disorders" who need "help" because they aren't super glued to their couch with a pint of beer in one chubby paw, and a half eaten dozen krispy kremes in the other.

    In this world, where more of the entire earth's population is OVERFED, than underfed (truly amazing statistics by the way - courtesy of national geographic a couple months ago) - and in some place like the USA where over 70% of the adults are overweight/obese and the rate is climbing - well, if you make healthy choices you are going to stand out like a sore thumb. It seems that the only choice now is when you go to don your workout gear, to acknowledge you are also putting on a target. And every pound you lose, every muscle you tone and build, every minute you are more energetic than you were is like a neon sign saying "This is what YOU SHOULD BE DOING" to everyone else. And we are not exactly a meek society.

    The only answer to dealing with these people is to take it as a compliment. Seriously. You said yourself when you were killing yourself with fastfood no one said ANYTHING to you. So, apparently they are quiet when you are unhealthy - and dang loud when you are on the right track. Scare the heck out of them next time - shake their hand and say "thank you!" Because they're just validitating that you are on the right track and to keep on rockin'!
     
  20. Fluogen

    Fluogen Well-Known Member

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    That is exactly it. They see you making progress, getting healthy and looking better and they feel inadequate. They know they could do it but they won't. It is easier to try and bring you down than to get off their asses and fix their situation.

    Just ignore them and keep doing what you are doing. Good luck!
     

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