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I'm a Virgin, I only have this forum for advice.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Bludder, Aug 17, 2013.

  1. Bludder

    Bludder Active Member

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    I'm 25 years old and because of my weight have never had any relationship with any woman.

    Today my Uncle said he was gonna hire an escort for me...out of the blue. Before I start college...


    I don't know what to think about this...I don't know what to do.


    Does anyone have any idea...any advice? I really need it right now.
     
  2. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

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    Try going out on a few dates to help gain your confidence. If you don't meet people much in real life, join an online dating site.
     
  3. Bradley326

    Bradley326 Active Member

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    JoeSchmo hit the nail on the head when he referred to confidence. Dealing with women is 90% about confidence, NOT appearance. I'm sure you've seen lots of examples of fat/ugly guys with really attractive women. How the hell does that happen? It's because those fat/ugly guys are confident as fuck.

    My story sounds similar to yours in that I didn't have any interaction with women until I got to college in my early/mid 20s. For my entire life I had been fat, depressed, and totally unconfident.

    When I was 24/25 (I honestly don't remember exactly) I had been working at a restaurant for about 4 years as I put myself through school. Having worked in the restaurant for so long, it had become the one area of my life where I was really, truly confident in myself and my abilities. I walked around the restaurant like a god damned king, and I didn't even let the managers give me shit. I practically ran that place and because I was such a great server I got away with pretty much whatever I wanted. It's no coincidence that my first relationship sprang up with a new coworker who started there during my 4th or 5th year at the restaurant. Because she was new, she had never known me before nor what I was like outside of the restaurant (an unconfident mess). All she saw was this supremely confident, albeit fat, guy who owned his job and had respect from coworkers and even from managers.

    For several weeks she tried to get me to ask her out by dropping subtle hints like "Man, I could really go for a drink after work tonight" and "I'm going to be so bored this weekend! I've got no plans!". I feel like an idiot now, looking back on it, but I had never dealt with anything like that before so I had no idea what she really wanted. Eventually I wised up (with some help from other coworkers/friends who couldn't believe my obliviousness) and we went out on a date.

    Long story short, our relationship eventually ended when she realized I wasn't nearly as confident in the other areas of my life as I was at work. She saw how I acted in every-day situations and it was such a contrast from how I was at work, and she simply lost attraction. I don't blame her, because outside of work I was, like I said, a complete mess with no self esteem.

    Why did I tell you this long-winded story? Because I want you to realize, as I realized back then, that your weight is NOT the primary reason for a lack of relationships. Now, losing weight might mean improving your confidence and self-esteem a bit, but ultimately you need to your mind right, fat or thin, muscular or flabby. Once you learn how to be confident EVERYTHING in your life will improve. Again, I speak from experience.

    One final thing: please don't misinterpret my advice as "be an asshole/jerk, women love that". That is not what I'm advocating, and I hate the guys that do nothing but insult women, play "the game", hit on everything with breasts, etc. That said, you need to be sure about who you are and what you want, both with yourself, and any potential girlfriends. If you want to date a chick and she is only interested in being friends, then TELL HER that you're not interested in being friends. If you see a nice looking chick at the bar, go STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION with her!

    I hope this post doesn't come off as too crass, crude, or whatever, but like I said, I feel like you're living the same exact situation that I lived several years ago and I hope that my experience can help you out.

    P.S. Don't get an escort. That's a terrible idea. When you finally meet the woman for you and you guys talk about your sexual pasts, do you really want to say "Yeah, my first time was with a prostitute"?
     
  4. digitalnebula

    digitalnebula Plagiarist

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    +1

    That hole has been filled too many times to be putting your junk within 20 yards of it.....:barf:


    Don't do it.
     
  5. Bludder

    Bludder Active Member

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    Advice noted, and taken. I declined.


    I have heard that it's all about confidence...I need to get that somehow :D
     
  6. Scotty

    Scotty Well-Known Member

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    Glad you declined dude - You'd regret it later otherwise.

    Scott.
     
  7. music88

    music88 Active Member

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    Hey Bludder, how you doing?

    Bit late to this but the other guys have given you great advice! I would just say that wait until you are ready, if you WANT to sleep with an escort then do it! But you obviously dont so its good you declined :)

    Too much emphasis is on sex these days, like why did your uncle even feel the need for you to get laid before college?! Its really not that important.

    I hope you get some great tips from the lads here on getting your confidence up and you meet the lady of your dreams soon! :D
     
  8. HevyMetal

    HevyMetal Well-Known Member

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    Getting an escort will not fix your self-esteem problem.
    It might temporarily take care of a "need".
    But that's about it.

    I would work on self-esteem. As your self-esteem improves, you will tend to attract the opposite sex by default.

    Love and sex is one thing......but a ten minute encounter with a hooker is not the same. For your first time you owe it to yourself to go a little higher up the ladder.

    Memories stay with you the rest of your life.
     

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