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I need a haircut...

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by BlueThunder, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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  2. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So, I've been not doing much the past 2 months. Basically just been sitting online waiting for my ex to sign on so I can talk to her pretty much everyday. Took my second midterm in Chemistry last week. Should get the results in a week or so. Um, I've been volunteering a few times a week. Which is good because it keeps me occupied.

    Exercise wise I've been doing about the same. Not too much difference in my weight.

    Attitude is still poor in my opinion. I know I need to work on that. Ex gf is waiting to see if she got into the college of her choice. I feel like once she moves away to college then it will be easier maybe to move on. She did invite me to donate blood this weekend. So that was nice of her.
     
  3. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So my ex and I did go and donate blood a few weeks ago. It was cool. I had a little trouble with my right arm not giving blood fast enough so I had to switch arms and then they were worried I was going to pass out becaue the blood was coming out too fast. lol.

    I did briefly get under 170 this past week. I've been eating and stressing over my chemistry paper and finals which are the week after next. So weight is going up.

    So, I was going to start a challenge to lost 20 pounds in the Fitness challenge section, but I feel its better if I just post in here and compete against myself.

    My goal is to lose 20 pounds from Startiong Point: May 23, 2011
    Ending Point : August 22, 2011

    So I'm guessing my starting weight will be a bit high on May 23 since I've been eating everything in sight. So I'm guessing my ending weight will be around 155. So that will most likely be my goal. I'll be posting before and after photos too.

    Thanks for reading.
     
  4. george mavridis

    george mavridis Active Member

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    Your attitude seems to be improving and that's good. maybe you need to get over this girl, go out and find another. There are plenty of girls out there and I'm sure you'll find one that's perfect for you and is deserving of you.. Let the girl live up to your expectations, not the other way around.
     
  5. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    You could be right. But, she said she wanted to be friends when we broke up and she is still friends with all her other exes... I'm guessing things will change eventually when she gets a new bf, but I honestly don't think she would ever drop me as a friend. And to be honest, its kind of nice that she still cares about me. Until we drift apart which is probably inevitable I think I'll hold onto her as a friend which are hard for me to come by.
     
  6. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Well, scratch my challenge. I'm never very good at keeping something going or even getting it started... So today my ex gf tells me she met someone. She even let me have the guys name and he was one of her friends on facebook. He's like a model. I started asking details and then she said you really wanna know? You wont be mad will you? I knew right there that this guy is something special to her. So I said I didn't wanna know the details. I have to admit my heart did stop when I saw those words "I met someone". Even though I was the one who broke it off. It still stings. She really is a wonderful person. I guess its a case of the grass is greener. I had it before. I wan't in when I'm out and out when I'm in. sigh.

    I've also been struggling with if nursing is for me. Absolutely failing my chemistry final made me think maybe I shouldn't be trusted with others lives. I get a sick feeling thinking about if I were to accidently kill someone or if I were too afraid to speak up on behalf of the patient I'm taking care of. And quitting my job has got to be the scariest thing in the world to pursue something I think I would suck at. Oddly, seeing my ex more on is making me want to take the risk though. I just hope I don't chicken out in 2 years when I actually have to put thought into action.

    So anyway, I've been going back and forth. Right now I'm leaning more towards doing it, but in reality I know my will is weak. Ah decisions...

    On a fitness note. This morning I was around 170 ish. I need to dial it in this summer. Maybe I should also go to church. Church girls are nice right???

    Thanks for reading.
     
  7. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Well, I'm 166 this morning. Am supposed to go to my exes graduation from community college today with her AA degree, but I don't really want to. We did donate blood last week which was cool. She almost passed out and we had to stay there awhile before we left because she kept saying she was gonna black out. lol. Its a good thing I drove.... I had a lot of fun, but since she wasn't feeling well after I just dropped her off at home. I dunno if I should go to her graduation or not. I said I would, but then I responded as "no" on the facebook invite. I mean graduation is for close friends and family. I don't wanna make the day awkward. oh well.

    Fitness wise I'm more or less the same. My next goal is to get under 160. My pumpkin plant is doing well in my backyard. I went for a promotional interview last week, don't think I got it, but I'm glad I tried. I don't think the position would have been a good fit for me anyway, I'm just glad I have a job right now when it seems like a lot of people need them. So my post isn't all negative! lol.

    Well, thanks for reading.
     
  8. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Still in the mid 160's. Cut out all weight lifting. Did go through the whole process of trying to get the position of Deputy Sheriff Recruit. Finished up on the list at 42. I believe they are only taking the top 15, but I heard initially around 2000 applicants applied. It was fun doing the obstacle course, jumping the 6 foot solid and chain linked walls, doing the dummy drag and sprinting a lap. Next time I'll have to do better in the oral interview. lol. I'm thinking I'm gonna add some weight lifting back in and try a new diet. Hopefully I can break the darn 160 barrier and look good with a few pounds of added muscle. Still donating blood with my ex. Met a few girls and went on a few dates with each. Nothing more than 2 though. I think I'm holding back. Could be cause of my exes. One ex sent me a friend request on facebook after a year of no contact so we are now friends on there. I'm guessing this is not a time for me and relationships. Oh and I did sign up for the Warrior Dash on Oct 30th. So hopefully I'm in tip top shape for that!

    Been kind of lonely lately. Hopefully things will get better. Still working my job and taking physiology right now. So keeping busy at least!

    Thanks for reading. :)
     
  9. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    162 lbs this morning. I'll be so happy once I breach the 160 barrier! Weight lifting isn't in the books. I enjoy cardio so much more. One weird thing I've been noticing with all the cardio is that I can get a rediculously small amount of sleep and still feel normal. Visited my ex gf at her college. Met her roomies and spent the night. It was fun. I think she was feeling homesick so seeing a familiar face perked her up. My mom has been pretty sick with the flu the past couple of weeks, but her bf has been coming over everyday so I guess he's got things under control.

    Have a weird presentation at work this week. Ugh. I'm not even really part of the thing they are presenting. The unit just grabbed me to make the group exersise even with two teams. Everyone in the work exercise is a pay level above me so if I suck at the presentation they can't get mad right?

    Anyway, hopefully I'm below 160 before my birthday which is easy to remember since its the same as John Stone's. lol
     
  10. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So my friend said she was gonna back out of taking another class with me next semester. I originally switched into the class I'm in now which is a physiology class with a way worse teacher than the section I was in originally. I switched so we could be in the same class since it fit her schedule. But then she didn't pass the class to get into my class so i was stuck with a bad teacher and no friend. So now she's going back on taking another class with me. I feel pretty discouraged. I don't even wanna be a nurse anymore. I'm not doing well in this class anyway. I feel no motivation to study. I fear I will give up my security if I pursue this. Right now I have an ok job, live at home where it is safe and I'm afraid to change any of it. What if I accidently kill someone because I'm incompetent at nursing? Ahhhhhhh. I was doing good with my weightloss, but lately I've been slipping for no real reason. I just needed to vent. I feel pretty alone right now. I just need to pull myself together...but with only my mom as a support system its not going very well.

    Anyway, I'm afraid to weigh myself. I should go to the gym tonight. Utilize the extra hour we get from daylight savings... sigh.
     
  11. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    I forgot to mention that I did do the Warrior Dash a few weeks ago and it was pretty awesome. I felt strong jogging the first mile and felt good doing all the obstacles. Was able to pull myself up the ropes and do everything no problem. Ran over old cars, through flames, through mud.... Next time I'm wearing tighter running shorts since mine got so heavy with mud that I had to hold them up. So my finishing picture is of me holding my pants while trying not to slip in the mud. lol. It inspired me to sign up for the Tough Mudder which will be in February. I'm also scheduled to run another Deputy Sheriff Obstacle course this sunday. I really really should study for my physiology test. I want to blow the test out of the water. I just need to somehow buckle down and study......but its hard to get focused. Anyway, I just need some positive vibes. :)
     
  12. Shamie

    Shamie Senior Member

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    You must be in pretty good shape in order to feel good doing all the obstacles. Congratulations on completing it. Don't be so tuff on yourself.

    On the other hand, you might save or help save someones life.
     
  13. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Shamie. I feel like I'm in the best shape I've been in for at least the last 5 years. I should put pictures up when I lose another 10 to 15 pounds. I was just so happy that I made it.

    I have this plan in my head to ease into nursing and still have my foot in the door just enough that if I absolutely hate it that I can get out. But you're right. I could save someones life. Just need to be a cup half full kind of guy instead of half empty..
     
  14. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Starting tomorrow I'm going to do a perfect diet everyday until Dec 1. I totally binged today. I wanna stay perfect for 20 days. I will even keep calories under on Thanksgiving... I can do this!

    Day 1 starts tomorrow.
     
  15. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Well, Happy Thanksgiving.

    I slipped on my diet and exercise yesterday. Probably slip some more today. lol. But, I do have a progress picture. I think my muscle looks a bit bigger because I'd just finished a workout. But I wanted to document how far I've come to give me more motivation to continue. About 166ish here.
     
    #95 BlueThunder, Nov 24, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2014
  16. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Well, I've been majorly slipping these past few weeks. I went to Las Vegas for the first time about two weeks ago. Was ok I guess. Lost 11.99 cents. My friends were winning pretty big, losing big. I think one friend was way up at the end and the other was a bit down. Anyway, while I was there I only ate 2 meals a day and when I got home I was 159ish. Now I'm sure I'm over 170. I haven't done cardio in about 3 or so weeks. Been lifting, but I look like I've gained weight because... I have. I don't know where my motivation has gone. I was stressed a few days ago because of my physiology final, but I should be fine now. My coworker got mad at me today because she said I was rude so I was worried about that. I guess I feel like this is the beginning of gaining all the weight back that I've lost. Food just tastes so good and it does make me feel better. I also shouldn't be looking too much at my exes facebook page and waiting for news on the seriousness of her new bf. I know I should let it go. I seem to get stuck on each ex gf. Now I feel like I'm looking for any girl to replace her because I'm lonely which I know is bad.

    I just wish I could get the will power back and some confidence that I can lose this small gain in weight before it gets out of control. I can't give up when I'm so close...

    Bad day today. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow morning.

    Thanks for reading.
     
  17. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So after eating almost a whole batch of oatmeal raisin cookies I think I've gotten all the badness....most of the badness out. With the exception of Christmas morning I'm going to sort maybe try to get into super good shape for my Tough Mudder event on February 26th (Sunday).

    So starting tomorrow I will post a starting weight and maybe sorta try to post a daily post about staying under calories, my general thoughts about the day, and any exercise I've done until my February 26 event.

    So here we go! I might be able to do this....maybe.
     
  18. Shamie

    Shamie Senior Member

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    Looking forward to hearing about the race. I am registered for a Tough Mudder at the end of April in Pennsylvania. I am also trying to get in shape for it. Good luck.
     
  19. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Thanks! From the sound of your journal you sound to be in excellent shape. I'm just starting to turn things around. Gotta bake some cookies and then go to the gym and get no sleep tonight. ahhhhhhh. Maybe I'll weigh myself tomorrow and see how bad the damage is.

    I'm also semi worried that the tough mudder might be more than I can handle.....but I bet once I get there it'll be a peice of cake. Gotta be slightly hyped...right?
     
  20. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So... Finally got around to weighing myself. 164.2 lbs today. Day off from work which is good I guess... Just need to find something to do today. I have been eating badly the past couple of days. I tried, but the willpower has left me. I did however combine an hour of cardio and weightlifting. Dunno if that was a good idea, but I felt better after doing it. Hopefully today I can manage to stick to the diet somewhat. Also for some reason I've been wanting to grow a beard so over the next 4 days while I'm off from work I'm going to try it out and then decide if I have the guts to wear it to work. lol.

    Thats all to report today. Starting weight posted at least!
     

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