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I need a haircut...

Discussion in 'Fitness Journals' started by BlueThunder, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    I'm not cutting my hair until I reach my goal of 170.0 lbs. I'm gonna post my weight daily and random thoughts. Gonna see how many days it takes me to reach my goal.

    Weight is probably somewhere in the 190's. Height is 5'10". Age 27. Hair is of short to medium length.
     
  2. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    So I think I should do a little intro maybe.

    I'm 27 and I live at home with my mom. I have an ok job with regular work hours and I go to school 2 nights a week trying to get prerequisites done so I can eventually get into nursing school. I'm way hung up on how far behind my peers I am. Hung up on how much an ex girlfriend of mine has done in her life given that she is 2 years younger. I have a new gf who is 20 and basically feel we are at the same stages of life even though I'm 7 years older. So, in a nutshell I feel like a loser in life and this thought of being a loser is affecting me in a big way regarding fitness and losing weight.

    I'm hoping journalling my thoughts and goals will help me stay focused and let go of the past and try to remain on the present working toward my future goals.

    Well, today was a bit of a disaster food wise. A coworker gave me a cookie which triggered me into thinking I failed eating right today and I went home and binged on all kinds of crap food. Hopefully tomorrow I can get on track. Weighed in today on the work weight scale at 196 right before lunch.

    I'm gonna try to be good tomorrow and also do some weight training.

    Wish me luck.
     
  3. Laneage

    Laneage Well-Known Member
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    Hey man, I'm with you.

    We all have things to deal with, and I know how it can be hung up on the same issues you are dealing with. I too am getting later into my 20s and nearly all of my friends graduated from college 4 years ago. I'm just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Ex gf issues? Check! Self esteem issues, you bet!

    BUT

    starting the journal was the single best thing I've ever done in regards to finding my way. It only took about a month before my whole outlook on life changed.

    I also have not gotten a haircut in some months, and don't plan on it until I reach my ultimate goal of single-digit-esque bodyfat percentage.

    Work at it, it's not luck that will make you reach your goals!
    Have a good one.
     
  4. TooMuch

    TooMuch Active Member

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    Great challenge :D
     
  5. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Hey, thanks for the replies guys.

    I do need to get myself out of this funk somehow. Well, today I weighed in at 191.4 lbs. That was early this morning so I'll take that as my starting weight. Just 21.4 pounds to lose. Wow, it seems like so much.

    I was super down yesterday and still am pretty down today. My current gf is super worried about me. Saying I need to see a doc about whats going on with me. I think I'll try to see how far I can go with this fitness challenge and see if I feel better from exercise and eating well first though.

    Went to bed super late last night too and only got barely 6 hours sleep. Had subway for lunch. Chips were 140 calories and I'll have to look up what my footlong was in terms of calories. Also had a starbucks milky vanilla thing for 200 calories. I'm gonna try to keep it below 2000. Got my gym clothes in my car so hopefully I'll have the motivation to go to the gym right after work.

    I look so old. Bags under my eyes. Beaten down and broken looking. Hopefully I can comeback somewhat and be more normal.

    Till next time.
     
  6. Rogozhin

    Rogozhin Active Member

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    This challenge needs pics. :cool:
     
  7. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Long day today with work and chemistry lab. I am going to do 3 chem problems and eat and go to bed. Today I stayed in my nutrition goals of under 2000. Still super sad about the past and stuff. Having a hard time moving forward. Day 2 of sticking to my diet though.

    I took pics too. I'm so glad tomorrow is friday. I'm gonna try tomorro to do an hour run on the gym treadmil and then go see a movie with the gf.

    till next time.
     
    #7 BlueThunder, Apr 23, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2010
  8. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Photos. At about 191 here.
     
    #8 BlueThunder, Apr 23, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2014
  9. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Today I was so tired at work. I need to work on getting more than 5 or so hours of sleep a night. I did get an hour in on the treadmil at my gym after work. My left hip is bothering me though. I'm thinking being tired all the time is affecting my mood. I've been trying not to compare myself so much with other people and just do my thing in life, but it is extremely hard. My ex is probably living life up and having new and fun and interesting adventures with her guy... She is so grown up and I'm just a little kid with no life and no ambition. I deserve sadness. What am I even doing. Why try.

    I did see Kickass which was a very good movie. Made me forget for awhile how lame I am.
     
  10. Gance

    Gance Active Member

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    Bleh, you're not lame. I went through some of the same situations. Just keep pushing, and fighting towards what you want.

    Honestly, once you get down to the weight you want... you've got some muscle there so you'll look pretty good I expect.
     
  11. TooMuch

    TooMuch Active Member

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    Man, you can't think of other people all the time! Now go get to the gym and work HARD :mad: :)
     
  12. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    I honestly can't block my mind from thinking about what other people think or thought of me. I actually broke up with the ex originally. We got back together, but the trust she felt with me was totally gone and she got really distant and she eventually decided to move on. I regret a lot of stuff with her. She was so awesome. I'm such a loser by comparison.

    I'm just hoping that I can muster not to think and just do my routine and hopefully things will get slightly better. The less I think and the more I do the better I feel.

    The current gf is awesome as well. I should be grateful for what I have even if I suck at life.

    No gym today. Trying to go m w f and sunday.

    Have a great saturday everyone. Try not to be lame like me and enjoy it.
     
  13. user786

    user786 Active Member

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    Heya
    What are you doing weight training wise?
    i wouldnt waste too much time on the treadmill especially if you are only eating 2000 a day....
    get your diet as no 1 priority i would personally increase the calories making sure you are eating plenty of lean proteins and fibrous veggies

    get a good weight training program on board if you havent done so aldready....such as starting strength ...your legs look strong and im sure
    you will get a lot out of squats and deadlifts

    finally throw in cardio when and if you have time ...this imo should be the final weapon in your arsenal against fat loss...especially if you plateau down the line then tou can throw it in...

    heres a good read if you get a chance


    http://www.tmuscle.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance/the_hierarchy_of_fat_loss


    :gl:
     
  14. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to try to do weights twice a week and cardio twice a week. Yesterday I did pretty ok sorta with my diet. Helped my brother sync his xbox 360 wireless controller. Finally figured out just have to hold the button longer on the controller to get it to start syncing. lol. Went to a swim meet for my gf and got burnt on the top of my right foot. :( Subway for lunch yesterday and moldy english muffins for breakfast.

    Got most of my chemistry hw done yesterday too. Need to maybe clean my room today so I don't feel like a total loser bum living in a dump. Gonna also do weights today at the gym and cardio tomorrow too.

    Life still sucks a lot for me. Still thinking about the past a lot. Wish I could build that dang time machine and go back and fix things.

    Have a good sunday.
     
  15. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Sunday went alright I guess. I seem to be on the subway diet. Did four weight machine exercises at the gym. Gonna try to run for an hour after work today. Got a much needed hug from my gf. I swear I would be so messed up without her.

    I've been thinking about what classes to sign up for next semester. Thinking I'm gonna try to take a condensed 6 week class during the summer.

    For now I'm just existing and trying not to think. I can manage to exist for the forseable future I think. Just gotta not think, keep doing, no think, just do.
     
  16. livedog

    livedog Well-Known Member

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    I hope I don't come across as too big of an ass here, but I feel like someone needs to say it.

    You need to sit yourself down, and instead of going through all that's not right with your life, go through what is right.

    Don't focus on your ex, you have a new girlfriend! If you are spending too much time thinking about your ex, you haven't moved on and, quite honestly, it's not really fair to be in a relationship with someone who, it would seem from your journal, is committed to you and supportive of your goals.

    Let me go over your intro post:

    "I'm 27" - not old by any stretch of the imagination. I'm 11 years older than you and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at 38. I'm in a better place!

    "I live at home with my mom" - Free (or maybe limited) rent! That enables you to save some money and pursue your goals.

    "I have an ok job with regular work hours" - you're doing better than many at this time.

    "I go to school 2 nights a week trying to get prerequisites done so I can eventually get into nursing school" - you have a goal and you are working to achieve it. That's better than many people out there who just wallow in their situation and do nothing to change it. You are doing something with your life!

    "I'm way hung up on how far behind my peers I am" - This is a common problem and I have fallen into that thinking before, but I've often discovered that even though many of them appear to be doing great, they're not.

    "Hung up on how much an ex girlfriend of mine has done in her life given that she is 2 years younger" - See the above answer and also I have a feeling this is a bit of a perception problem you have seeing how much you still think about her.

    "I have a new gf who is 20 and basically feel we are at the same stages of life even though I'm 7 years older" - Age is a number. You have to stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. My wife is 12 years younger and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It never crossed my mind about stages or accomplishments when we met. I just fell in love.

    "So, in a nutshell I feel like a loser in life and this thought of being a loser is affecting me in a big way regarding fitness and losing weight" - This is where you turn it around. This is where you start cracking down on your diet and hitting the weights. This is where you start setting goals and working to hit them. You have just admitted that you let your feelings run you health and it is time to flip the tables and let your progress on losing weight and getting fit affect the rest of your life.

    Man, like I said, I don't want to come off as a tool, but I see a lot of myself when I was your age when I read your journal. I just want you to know you're not alone and you're not the first person to feel like this. There are a lot of us out here. Good luck in your goals!
     
  17. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Hey, you probably are right. And you don't come off as a tool. I know things could be worse. And I do have some stuff that is good in my life. I've always been kind of a pessimist about life. Always thought my friends were better than me. Hated to be in charge cause I was afraid I'd make a mistake. Took zero risks cause I didn't want to fail. I'm hoping someday I can change some of my thinking. Being really shy doesn't help. My self esteem is pretty much zero, but I do have a nagging feeling that won't let me stop moving forward. I guess its a tiny bit of drive thats making me think "why can't I do stuff like other people?" And my gf really is great and very very concerned about me being happy. I do have moments where I feel almost normal, but they never last long.

    Anyway, I did run for an hour on the treadmil today. And I did sorta pretty much stay on target with calories. Who knows how long I can keep this up.

    Today was pretty normal at work.

    Thats about it for today. Have a good monday.
     
  18. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Today was weird. It was super super busy at work and I'm backed up on all sorts of work that I'm trying to get done. There's priority to different work so I've been given tasks to help out I guess. Anyway, today I just worked and went to class. I think being so busy makes it easier for me to stick to my diet. I'm eating the same thing everyday, but Im not getting bored of it. I really enjoy the food I'm eating and it takes zero effort to make any of it.

    My mood is pretty normal today. I got a weird compliment on having pretty hair and yesterday an old coworker said they missed me and that I did excellent work. Made me feel good.

    I had way less thoughts today than I have in a long time about the past. Being busy and joking with coworkers took my mind off what I usually think about and it was fun to just exist in the present. Hopefully I'll have more and more of these kinds of days.


    Well, have a good day people who may read my journal.
     
  19. livedog

    livedog Well-Known Member

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    Great news! You are making great progress on all fronts!
     
  20. BlueThunder

    BlueThunder Well-Known Member

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    Horrible day... I had extreme and insistent thoughts about my ex. Work was stressful. They had cake, but I passed on that. I was just damn depressed today. I just feel like whats the point on improving myself. I'll never be as cool as my ex. I did however stick to my diet and did weights today after work. All I had were my pajama bottoms cause I couldn't find my normal sweat pants this morning. No one seemed to notice or care.

    Well, thanks for reading. Have a good wednesday.
     

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