1. Have you installed the new JSF Mobile app? Check out all the details here.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. One account & one avatar for all of JSF. Unified login and profile. Forum alerts on the main site, and more. Check out the details here: Forum & main site unified account feature is live!
    Dismiss Notice

Has becoming fit made you more shallow?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by TheThirdMohican, Apr 14, 2013.

  1. TheThirdMohican

    TheThirdMohican Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've noticed that the more fitness oriented I have become (and health conscious in terms of what I eat) the more concerned I've become with the eating and exercise habits of the people I spend time with, and more specifically the people I date.

    For example the girl I am dating now is by no means fat, exercises fairly routinely, but does indulge in quite a bit of calorie dense snacks and foods. I find myself intermittently disappointed that she doesn't do any strength training and then have to mentally chide myself for being so judgey. Most of the US population doesn't strength train but I guess all the time spent reading and making my own transformation has skewed what I value.

    Do you feel like the transformation process makes you more shallow? I am not talking about judging people solely on their looks but I could never see myself marrying anyone who is happy to not live a healthy lifestyle and this is translating to my social life. But on the other hand I know its hypocritical because while I am in shape I am by no means where I want to end up.
     
  2. Robert2006

    Robert2006 Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,695
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was going to say no but

    I haven't changed any in my type of women. If anything it's more the women that are judging differently :rolleyes:

    But there are people like my cousins husband. He is seriously over weight. Every six months or so he "commits" to losing a bit of weight. He has my cousin weighing his salad to make sure he isn't eating too much. Then opens a bag of cookies :doh: He refuses to do anything. I don't mean lifting he won't go for a walk.
     
  3. HevyMetal

    HevyMetal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2005
    Messages:
    4,450
    Likes Received:
    11
    I haven't become more shallow.......but I tend to get more judgemental.

    Far too many people I see and know are seriously overweight.

    And many people I know are paying the price for it....with diabetes, strokes and dozen other maladies.
     
  4. Spartan88

    Spartan88 Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am by no means in great shape. But working out makes me appreciate the benefit of maintaining fitness/healthy weight.

    A lot of people I know constantly talk about being overweight or unfit and yet never do anything about it other than to eat more cakes/chocolate and complain even more when the scale keeps moving in the wrong direction.

    A close Female friend asked me tonight to tell her honestly whether I thought she should lose some weight. She has made a number of comments about her desire to eat more healthily and lose weight.

    I should have known that 'tell me honestly' meant 'lie to me', it always does. It might have saved a lot of tears.

    I wouldn't mind but the reason i've gotten back in the gym recently was because I felt self-conscious when I slept with her.
     
  5. TheThirdMohican

    TheThirdMohican Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    0
    That's so frustrating

    Well the thing is the people my age with poor habits are not. So it's kind of tough to know if they will eventually pay the price or not...

    Yeah never give the honest answer. Although personally I always appreciate when people tell me I've gained or lost weight.

    Again, my girlfriend isn't fat but she isn't skinny either. The lack of consistent exercise and good eating habits doesn't jive with how I try (emphasis on try, not actually do) to live life. I'm curious if others have had this problem with significant others.
     
  6. Jaer

    Jaer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    2,932
    Likes Received:
    6
    My wife and I have a huge disparity in desire to workout. We're both over-weight, but I'm fairly fit. Her, not so much.

    We started dating in highschool, and I didn't pick up the fitness bug until the end of college. It was a big change in me, and something she dealt with. However, it is something we do not have in common, and considering how important it is in my life--because I enjoy it--it can cause some tension.

    I would love to workout with her. To go on runs with her. To go biking with her. But she has much less interest, and would not want to hold me back.

    Eating healthy, she's all for. We both at times derail diets. I have more propensity for doing what it takes--being hungry for a while or eating the same thing every day for weeks on end--than she does, but it does strain things to have me going hardcore like that and her to not.

    But we also help push each other and inspire each other. We go on hikes and such, and she wants to get better at it to keep up with me.

    Right now, she's training for a 5k at the end of Sept that she signed up for. It's a lot of work for her, and she's got a ways to go, but she's committed, and she's been very good about staying on track and eating right. She also knows she can come to me for information and tips and support.

    So yeah, it can be hard, but we love each other and do our best to work with each other.

    Jaer
    gets most frustrated with his wife because she judges all success on scale weight. If that doesn't move, or moves up slightly, she gets really upset and is likely to quite. She's gotten better, but that mentality :bang:
     
  7. TheThirdMohican

    TheThirdMohican Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    0
    That's tough, difficult to reconcile such different approaches to it
     
  8. Jaer

    Jaer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    2,932
    Likes Received:
    6
    Yeah. Just got harder, too, diet-wise. Previously we were on a kind of vegetarian menu--no strict, but a general "no need to have meat" mindset to meals.

    I'm on a new diet plan that is starting me out super low carb (and slowly over the first 5 weeks, raises me back up); she's staying more meatless.

    Though, I guess you could view us like Jack Spat and his wife, only in this case, I'm the carnivore and she's the herbivore. We make a single, well-balanced meal, and then each eat half.

    Jaer
    made chicken, beans, and potatoes last night. He ate the chicken.
     
  9. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2004
    Messages:
    4,056
    Likes Received:
    11
    Not really. Of all the personal flaws a person can have, being unfit is pretty low on the totem pole. It doesn't bother me in the least if a person chooses not to exercise. IMO, personality flaws are much worse than any physical imperfections.

    That said -- You (the OP) mentioned this in the context of a relationship, and I don't see it as shallow to pursue somebody who shares your interests ... whether that be fitness or anything else.
     
  10. Jaer

    Jaer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    2,932
    Likes Received:
    6
    Agree!

    Jaer
    has a lot of interests his wife does not--anime, video games, D&D, heavy lifting--but shares enough to make the relationship work. Though, her being more into fitness (as of late) does help.
     
  11. TheThirdMohican

    TheThirdMohican Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, that's true.

    I think we will be alright...she keeps active with running, yoga, biking, etc. Different approaches towards the same end I guess. I feel like I'm getting less flexible and more set in my ways every year I get past 20 haha :p
     
  12. Robert2006

    Robert2006 Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,695
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wait until you're an adult :rolleyes:
     
  13. TheThirdMohican

    TheThirdMohican Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand that what I'm saying must sound funny to you but it's weird, I'm much less open-minded than I was 5-6 years ago.
     

Share This Page