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Getting out of my depression will help me how?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by tali_zorah_vas_normandy, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. tali_zorah_vas_normandy

    tali_zorah_vas_normandy Active Member

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    I don't want to go into many details so I'll keep it as short as I can. I only have 1 friend who keeps in touch with me every week but sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone. I never had a girlfriend. I've always had very few friends. I am sick of college and don't put any effort at all even if I try. I am bored at life and don't even want to do small things. I'm afraid I wont have a good future at all. I can't see anything good happening to me. Especially when I'm doing bad in school. I feel lonely too and I'm still very young just out of high school last year.

    I think its my depression. Even when I didn't feel depressed I am sure I really was deep down. Like last year I didn't feel depressed at all. I was really busy with friends and other things. I was still struggling in college however. But I still didn't do much to meet new friends or anything. I simply can't do it. Eventually we all pretty much split and did our own thing. They were bad influence however.

    But will seeing a psychiatrist and perhaps taking medication help me? It sounds too good to be true. Will it help me with everything I mentioned? I want to be happy like everyone else. But I'm afraid this is who I really am personally and getting help may or may not help to get what I want.

    You might suggest I go outside more often and such. I go to the gym and college but other than that I don't have any where else to go. I cannot easily socialize with people. Even with the few friends (people I know) I can have some difficulty talking to them. I feel like everything about me has held me back from enjoying life and now I feel lost. I have no friends, I find life is boring, I don't see any success in my life or in the near future, I don't feel capable of doing anything, and I fear for my future of having a lousy job at the super market or something. I feel like a kid with no experience. I don't know if that's just who I'm supposed to be or not. I don't know what I am.

    My only hope is that seeking help will allow me to enjoy life again and open my mind so I won't be anti-social. That way I can have friends, hang out with them, get a girlfriend, laugh at jokes without faking it since nothing makes me laugh, doing well in college to get a decent career, getting in shape, and all that good stuff that I've missed out on all my life. Part of me says help and anti-depressants won't help me become more social though. I'm just tired of what I am now. I am not happy. I'm a sad broken guy even when I get my mind distracted.
     
  2. PlainGreyT

    PlainGreyT Active Member

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    I could've written this myself

    Two things I'd recommend:

    - If your college has student support services then set up a meeting with a councilor. It's probably free and was one of the smartest decisions I ever made

    - Keep weight training. Setting goals and working towards them is one best natural highs you can experience. Not only did I feel better but dealing with everyday stuff became easier to cope with

    Whatever you decide good luck dude :tucool:
     
  3. tali_zorah_vas_normandy

    tali_zorah_vas_normandy Active Member

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    yeah I'm going to talk to the psychiatrist at my school. its a damn shame my school will be closed this whole week so I'll have to wait next week.

    i feel like everything has came to bite me in the ass all these years. i dont have a car but im getting one soon, i dont work because my family gives me money, and I have absolutely nothing going on in my life. but i want to change all of this. im still young but i feel old. i love going to the gym so much. but everything in the past is affecting me now and its keeping me down. i cant enjoy life with all these problems. to top things off my only dream is impossible: to be an mma fighter (like local fighting; but i need a steady career before i can tackle that so i have something to fall back on)

    ill just stop talking now i suppose. i have to take action and thats seeing a psychiatrist, getting help that will hopefully help me in everyway possible and help me enjoy life for the first time. i want to be "normal" and be happy like everyone i see.

    p.s. im not gonna stop working out even though i dont lose weight. first i need to get my life back then ill worry about getting fit
     
  4. Jaer

    Jaer Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you have an interest in MMA fighting; are you involved in any training activities or active in any local dojos? Even if you are there simply to train and not actively meet people, there will still be people there in the classes, giving you a chance for small socializations and a place to make new friends who are interested in your hobbies and who aren't a bad influence.

    Good luck!
     
  5. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

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    You'll never know unless you try. I know some people who have been so depressed that they have scarcely left their house for months on end. One friend was even institutionalized. After anti-depressants, she became a totally different person. Happy and enjoying life. Anti-depressants won't, by themselves, make you become more social, but they may make socializing more enjoyable....resulting in you becoming a more outgoing person.

    There are physiological bases underlying many instances of depression, and so drug therapy can help. I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but it may be true for you. You might give it a shot ... if you don't like them, you can always stop taking them.
     
  6. guava

    guava Elite Member
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    I'm curious that you chose to air your frustrations on a fitness site, rather than something else, like a mental health forum.

    I think that's a good clue that pursuing fitness endeavours will be your natural saviour.

    It's harder to be depressed when you are reaching for a goal.

    Set some measurable performance goals, record your progress, celebrate your victories. It's not going to cure you, but it will help to reframe your outlook.

    Also, I'm not much one for going out and randomly hanging with people, though I do try and get some exposure with other people in activity based experiences. That includes things like participating on sports teams, or volunteer opportunities like being a member of a board, or community activities like a fundraiser, clean-up, demonstration, or festival.

    How old are you? I'm not sure if you'll find this relevant or not, but I came across this site a few days ago that I recommended my daughter browse around. It is an award winning mental health site that was created by youth for youth. You might find some things helpful there, or at least interesting. :)

    http://www.mindyourmind.ca/
     
  7. tali_zorah_vas_normandy

    tali_zorah_vas_normandy Active Member

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    thanks for the replies and support. I came here because its one of the few forums i visit on a regular basis. i dont know of any mental health forum but i am glad you recommended one. i am going to visit it and get the help i need and what i can do.

    i really want to be happy and smile again. i want to enjoy life like everyone else. right now i dont do anything at all. im doing terrible in school because i cant concentrate at all. at 22 years of age i should have a job, about to be done with college, a car, friends, and all that good stuff. i have nothing. im afraid what the future holds for me. i have no motivation to do even the smallest of things. if i dont do anything by next year then ill just going the marines. atleast theyll babysit me.

    hopefully with some help ill be able to get rid of these dark thoughts. but that isnt enough. I want to change my life completely almost becoming someone else. but all of this sounds too good to be true.
     
  8. HevyMetal

    HevyMetal Well-Known Member

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    fer cryin' out loud......:blank:

    I've been thinking exactly like that for 62 years now...

    Some things to remember:-

    (1) You can't please everybody
    (2) Sometimes it's hard to even please yourself....because often we're our own worst enemy
    (3) Just about everybody on the planet is nuts to a degree...the trick is, many have learned how to hide it and instead you see a mask. Basically we're all the same but we can't stand anybody else seeing us for the real person we are because we have no idea whether we're normal or not. So society sets the "norm" for us and judges us by that yardstick. The yardstick is called "mediocrity" and if you fall within it's parameters then that is what you become.....mediocre, but very very comfortable.

    (4) Try writing about how you feel..write a letter of recommendation to yourself listing all your good and bad points.

    (5) Stand in front of a mirror and say "I like you' to yourself several times. If you find when you do this , you become angry or feel like you are bullshitting yourself...then it's time to go a little bit deeper and
    get some solid counselling or help from qualified people.

    (6) Basically the only goal you have right now is to get in the cage and beat the shit out of people legally. Or join the Marines and then you can get to kill people legally as well. Do I detect some deep anger issues here?

    (7) The right goal for you is whatever it turns out to be. Just picking up weights and pumping iron isn't necessarily going to be the cure-all you are looking for. Although at least you'll be fitter.

    (8) Forget about all this "living life to the fullest" b.s....that's too tall and vague of an order for many of us. Find something that you can deal with, are good at and maybe make a living at and have some fun doing.

    (9) The future doesn't hold anything...because there is no future. There is only today, this moment and now. What you are right now is what you'll be tomorrow....unless you change today.
    Why be afraid of tomorrow? You were afraid yesterday...and....look!.
    It's today and it's no worse than yesterday. So all your fears were unfounded.

    (10) Life is short, my friend. Very very short. Before you know it you'll be looking back. It doesn't seem like it when you're twenty, but the years have a knack of melting away REAL QUICK.
    Grab the bull by the horns now, bud, because right now is your "good ol' days".

    You'll have plenty of time "not to want to do the smallest of things" when you reach my age.

    (11) Your problem could be caused by anxiety,nutrition,fatigue and/or how you perceive other people.

    (12) No matter how you think..there are others around who think the same general things as you. If you think you would like to associate with people just like you then you have to make a bit of an effort to find them.
    (On the other hand I would never hang out with anybody like me because most of the time I can't even stand my own bullsh*t....:lol:
    but I very much like too hang out with people who have the same sense of humor as I do......which means roughly one in every 700 people...:cool:)

    (13) Anti-depressants won't change your life. They just make it a hell of a lot easier to live with yourself :p....
     
  9. akm3

    akm3 Well-Known Member

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    I totally know where you are coming from. Don't worry, it gets better but it isn't overnight, and anti-depressants aren't 'happy pills' but they remove the veil that keeps you from enjoying anything.

    You feel like an autopilot robot right now, but do your plan (psychiatrist and likely some medication) and you are likely to feel better in a few weeks. It might take some experimentation to find the right medication for you.

    There are far more people taking anti depressants than you can possibly comprehend.
     
  10. Cardio-Freak

    Cardio-Freak Active Member

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    Who said that everyone else is happy? Who said that life was supposed to be fun? Make the best out of it - you'll get used to it.
    Do you really need a lot of friends? Just keeping one or two people close to you is enough. You can't depend on yourself?
    And in your age it is pretty common to feel depressed. Also, you said you don't laugh at your friends joke. Maybe he's just fucking boring? Don't blame yourself for everything.

    My advice is.. stop waiting for an angel. You create your own happiness..

    your "depression" makes you more depressive
     
  11. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    FUCK YES!

    Guys your age are often faced with this kind of neurochemical situation which puts them in a social/developmental hole. Going to a psychiatrist and getting on a course of medication that jump-starts you out of it could do you a world of good.

    Is this going to ruin you? No, probably not. It sounds like you're horribly depressed, but not suicidal and not depressed to the point where important things in your life are falling by the wayside. You could probably bust through all of this on your own without any intervention from a professional, but it'll take more time.

    Imagine how much better it'd be to be on the happy side of life and not have to look back on this years-long chasm of depression where you only learned from your own mistakes and biology. Get with a psychiatrist for a boost, and get with a counselor (therapist, social worker, clergy, etc.) for guidance. Find a purpose. People older than you have answers to a LOT of your questions.

    Sorry to have seen this late. I hope you're doing well. If you do see a psychiatrist and get on some meds, please see him/her again as soon as your mood improves amd you're tempted to get off of the drugs. Let them take you down easy and monitor your progress so that you get back to a good baseline and don't ping-pong around between euphoria and depression.

    Good times. :tu:
     
  12. jeremykid

    jeremykid Active Member

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    That's right consult a psychiatrist so he could help you solve the unresolved issues within yourself. That's the only way, you have to let go and move on with whatever issues you have from the past.
     
  13. Aleister bates

    Aleister bates Active Member

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    ive learned from experience..depression is a state of mind,you think yourself into it and you can think yourself outta it.:gl:
     
  14. kribrg

    kribrg Well-Known Member

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    Being "in a rut" and true depression are not the same thing.
     

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