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Feeling exposed - am I toast?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by SLOTH, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. SLOTH

    SLOTH Well-Known Member

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    Ok here goes. I've been working at this spot for about 7 months. I work with this girl who is absolutely beautiful and I've been working my game with (what I assume to be) some effectiveness since essentially day one. I know this because I have done some low-key hanging out with this girl (uneventful, but it is a start). We got tons in common and I legitimately want to be with this girl if not now then in the future at some point. I'm 8 years older than her, but I know I'm on the same level as her as far as looks are concerned (yes I'm a confident person). Here's the problem- the other day, one of my coworkers made an offkey remark about how it was obvious that I have a crush on her when she was standing right there. She then turned to me and asked me if it was true. No joke, I said nothing and left the room :o . She came in to the room where I was and said "Sloth wants to kiss me" (you know like a little girl would say). Needless to say, I'm a horrible liar and I couldn't diffuse the situation. It was funny as hell really, but I think I'm toast here. Like I said, I've been working this girl up to a certain point and now she has legit leverage on me (she knows I like her). She plays the field pretty hard, and she told me way back that she llikes a challenge. Not good knowledge for this kind of girl to possess really. I'm leaving the job in the next few days and I was really hoping to continue this, but I think if I push even a little bit I'll fall into either the desperate category or the backburner nice guy that I can get anytime category. But here's another twist- later that day, she said to me kind of off key "I like older guys, right Sloth?" This gave me some hope, but based on what I know about this kind of girl, I still think I'm in a terrible positon. It was a real shame to have months and months of fantastic game obliterated with one small event, a real shame. Like I said, I feel like I met someone pretty special and I hate the leverage against me right now. Do you guys and girls think I should pursue this or chill with it and hope to get a phone call sometime in the near future? Any feedback appreciated
     
  2. doordude42

    doordude42 Senior Member

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    I think you should be straight up with her. Tell her you like her and have for some time. Ask her if she'd like to go out. What have you got to lose????
    Truthfully, i'd rather expose my testicles to an electric eel rather than take that approach but I believe it may work. I'm a scaredy cat when it comes down to it.:eek:
     
  3. SLOTH

    SLOTH Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I know that's what I SHOULD do, but it'll take some careful planning. I somehow need to flip this situation into my favor. Maybe confidence in this spot is just what I need. Time to gear up... I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. I'm prepared for rejection. I think such things are more funny than anything really. Personally, I like to jam people into corners and see the look on their faces. I think it's kind of fun! If she says no, then I'll move on. It'll suck fer sure, but this is the game and I know it well. Hey thanks again!
     
  4. doordude42

    doordude42 Senior Member

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    No problem brotha, good luck!!!!:tu: Hey Sloth, whatever you do.......DON'T pick yer nose!!!!!!!
     
  5. Caruthias

    Caruthias Well-Known Member

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    You are thinking far, far too much into this. What is there to prepare? When you see her tomorrow make small talk as usual. Depending on how the conversation goes and how/if she flirts, ask her out. If you spend too much time it will seem unnatural.
     
  6. Justitia

    Justitia Elite Member
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    I would be a little concerned about being interested in her, myself (that is, if i were a guy.)

    She strikes me as a player... what I call a kamikaze woman. I suspect that no matter how well you entice her and succeed... after the challenge and high from that is over... she'll move on.

    I don't know if you would find two old posts of mine from another pretty old thread that I have listed below. In the midst of discussing something else, I talk about what I mean about Kamikaze women (and men..;) )

    I wonder if you would think anything fits of what I describe...

    Edit: Not to disappoint Rynator :D , I reproduce the relevant part of the 2 posts below (Ryanator provides the original links in his post below this one):

     
    #6 Justitia, Mar 1, 2006
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2006
  7. TheRyanator

    TheRyanator Well-Known Member

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    Wow! That was one of your shortest responses to a in depth question I have ever seen! If you had not attached links to 2 very long threads expounding on this response, I probably would have given you a prize! :lol:



     
  8. doordude42

    doordude42 Senior Member

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    Yeah, she can elaborate!!!!!!! :)
     
  9. Fly_Moe

    Fly_Moe Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to burst your bubble but it doesn't sound like you have "game" at all to me. The reason why I say that is, if you see someone you like you should go for her right away, assuming she's single of course. You don't wait for 7 months to make your move. Why would you do that? Put it this way, if you were going to go to a bar and see some smoking hot chick there, would you wait to make your move or go up to her as soon as you could and talk to her? I hope you don't wait, because if you do I guarantee that other guys will go up and talk to her and then you would be screwed if she happens to like one of them. You'd lose your chance with her by waiting. Same concept here. While you were waiting for 7 months, she was going out on dates with other guys and not thinking of you. Hopefully, you can correct that now.

    Now that she knows you have a crush on her, you can now make your move. Personally, I like using a cocky-funny attitude on women. For instance, if should would have said "Fly_Moe wants to kiss me", I would have said something like "I don't think you'd be able to handle a kiss from me." It's cocky, yet if you say it with the right attitude and a smile then it's funny as well. Having that kind of attitude says all the right things to women. Women dig that kind of attitude on a guy - trust me. Plus, it shows that nothing she says will phase you.

    To be honest, it sounds like you are already in the "friend zone", which means you're basically screwed. But I don't know your full situation. In my opinion, to save this, you need to openly flirt with her and have a funny cocky-attitude. Stop being afraid that she knows you like her. Be confident and have fun being around her. If it doesn't work out then just realize that it's not the end of the world and that there are plenty of women out there for you.

    :gl:
     
  10. Justitia

    Justitia Elite Member
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    Well, I didn't want to disappoint you..... ;)


    Edit And I edited the post to reproduce only the relevant part.... why make it longer than necessary?..... :lol:
     
    #10 Justitia, Mar 1, 2006
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2006
  11. brezman

    brezman Well-Known Member

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    I'd have to agree with Fly_Moe, your "months and months of fantastic game" would have actually gotten you somewhere with this girl--if indeed it was actually fantastic game.

    Seven months and you've hung out a couple times?

    You need to evaluate if you even like this woman.

    P.S. Don't ever wait for a phone call from a girl, unless its a return call after you originally tried to contact her.
     
  12. chicanerous

    chicanerous Elite Member
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    If you've liked her for a long time, you've been working at the job for 7 months, and you're leaving in a few days, I'd say forget her. :nod: When you're on the way out the door isn't really the best time to add "oh, and I'd really like to get to know you intimately now!"
     
  13. phillydude

    phillydude Don't Never Give Up.

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    I'll disagree... as a player, you learn one of the first rules is "don't dip your pen in the company's ink." He did the right thing by macking the hell out of this girl while at work... and now he's stepping to the outside with a chance to seal the deal.

    Sloth, my take would be to call the player on her game... tell her that you know she's out there, and that you're out there too, but since you aren't going to be around the j-o-b anymore, you want to keep her number on the speed dial.
     
  14. SLOTH

    SLOTH Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the reassurance, but I see many solid points. I took this one on as a major long - term project that I would hope would pay dividends down the road. Problem is, I caught some feelings. I know that 7 months is a damn long time without much results. I probably should have gone for the gusto while I had the chance, but I talked to her today and she told me she'd be calling me, so hope does remain. I'm 28 and she's 20. I know how these young girls are and I honestly think that if you push too hard with these girls, they eat you alive. Slow and steady wins this race, I'm convinced, but that's only how I approach this. Everyone is different. Justina, you are definitely right dead on about her. She is a Kamikaze. I know it and she knows it. This is why I'm hanging back a bit and not pushing too hard. We'll see if it works. I hope it does, she's real fine. If not, lessons learned all around and I'll deal with it. The part that bugs me the most about this whole thing is this punk at work who exposed me like that :bang: . What a cockblock and it was a real setback. Ah well thanks all for the posts. I may now be entering the F R I E N D zone :nope:
     
  15. TheLemonSong

    TheLemonSong Well-Known Member

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    If you dont' want to enter the friendzone, my advice is to simply say "Ya know, I really do like you and I have for a while..but I didn't want you to find out the way you did, and thats why I was embarrassed and walked away from the situation. I think it would be interesting to see how you are on a real date rather than just the casual chillin' we've been doin', so do you want to (insert *specific* thing you want to do here..note: sexual congress is probably not your best option here)"

    I think by saying something like this it explains your situation from before, while simultaneously making her think "Would I really be much different on a date as opposed to hanging out?" and that presents somewhat of a challenge...if you think its necessary you could even create a challenge in a different way by saying that *you* are different on dates (but this runs the risk of more complexity)...

    hope that helps.
     
  16. SLOTH

    SLOTH Well-Known Member

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    it does and thanks a lot bro. I think we're thinking along the same wavelength here. I just want return on my investment, so to say. That's all.
     
  17. Chadster

    Chadster Well-Known Member

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    Its obvious that she knows you like her, just ask her out straight up. No need to waste more time.
     
  18. JoeSchmo

    JoeSchmo Well-Known Member

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    Of course, if this happens, you'll never progress beyond that point. Once a woman has put you in that category, you are screwed (but unfortunately for you, only in the figurative sense). :cry:
     
  19. Wasted

    Wasted Well-Known Member

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    This makes me thing of "Just Friends" since I happened to have watched it yesterday...

    Pretty much every guy can relate to where you're at bro. But if you would have taken a step back earlier you would have realized what you were doing. Girls, especially ones like her, like a challenge. If you think about it, isn't it always when you're already 'taken' that girls seemed more interested in you?

    You however, posed absolutely no challenge what so ever. The fact that you stuck around for 7 months really proves this. What you need to do is make a move, even though it's probably too late. If shes not going for it, then just walk away.

    Things like this aren't always set in stone though. I had absolutely been in love with a girl for about 3 years. I had even asked her out, but she said she'd rather just stay friends for the time being. It was only after I removed myself from the friend position, and started being more of a challenge to her, did I finally land her as "my girl".
     
  20. M@

    M@ Monster Maker 2017

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    If you're not already there, you will be once she's tired of playing with you. She's a 20 year old girl coming into the full realization of her power and you're an older man whom she knows she can make blush.

    Concentrate on yourself and only yourself. Put her back in the category of your other coworkers. When you're confident she can't make you squirm anymore, ask her out.

    Amen. Amen. Amen. 10,000x True.

    Also, if you're hooking up with people at work, you're not getting out enough. Keep social and professional separate.

    M@
     

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