Originally Posted by TheThirdMohican
She claimed afterward that if I really loved her I would have dealt with the distance and time apart.
Does it mean you don't really love someone if you do not want to do long distance?
I'm no relationship expert, but a relationship requires two people to work at it whether they are long distance or not.
If one person is doing all the work while the other is saying just deal with
whatever the issue may be, that isn't a recipe for a solid relationship, IMO. There are countless examples of this in non-distance relationships as well. Money issues, raising children, household stuff, ect. If one person wants to get things done while the other drags his or her feet, it doesn't make for fun times.
To answer your question, yes I think a person can love another person if one doesn't want a long distance relationship, but there is something more important than that. If a person doesn't feel comfortable in a long distance relationship, they shouldn't be made to feel guilty about not wanting one.
Despite all the gross stuff that goes on in society, there is something to be said about people that have principles even when such prinicples may collide with somebody elses.
I personally rather deal with people that keep things real than breath holders. Breath holders are the people that put in a fake facade and when they can't proverbially hold their breath anymore, the person's true colors start to come out which isn't always a pretty. i.e- I dated a guy for a short time and the relationship was long distance. On the surface things seemed okay, but as time went on I found that he was more interested in his motorcycle than dealing with people, so I let him ride off into the sunset on his prize possession.
At the time it pissed me off that he'd rather spend his time with his Harley than myself, but now when I look back on it, it was a blessing in disguise. He wanted a "mother" and I had zero interest in playing "Mom" to anybody at that stage of my life. I don't begrudge the person for enjoying and taking pride in his bike, but I wish he was up front with me from the start. The energy I wasted on a relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere could have been spent in more constructive ways.
I don't know if this helps at all, but there is my .02 on the issue.