Going out and drinking.

Foley · Fri, January 8th, 2010, 07:09 PM

I'm after some advice / insight, whatever you wanna call it.

I don't drink alcohol much. When I do, I usually drink waaaaay too much, do stupid things, and regret it totally. I haven't had a drink since halloween 09. The only problem is, when I do go out and don't drink, I'm the most boring person ever. I sit/stand there, and just text on my phone, talk to mates etc.

I want to try and find a balance between drinking alcohol and having a good time vs not drinking and getting some awesome gains and looking gooood.

If you go out, drink and still make good gains (whether thats dieting down or bulking up) can you give me some tips please?

Moveon · Fri, January 8th, 2010, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Foley

I'm after some advice / insight, whatever you wanna call it.

...when I do go out and don't drink, I'm the most boring person ever.

Deep question Foley: Why are you boring?

Short superficial answer: A couple (couple = 2) of drinks won't derail anyone's progress. Oh, maybe if it's the night before a BB competition and you will be on stage the next day--I'd say a couple of beers will ruin that for you.

modmaven · Fri, January 8th, 2010, 10:52 PM

When with friends in person, don't be texting people who aren't even in the same room. If they're in the same room, you better have a good reason.

Really the key in these situations is to cultivate curiosity, even if you don't have much. Try to find out as much as you can about the people you are with and what makes them tick. They might be boring on the outside but the more you probe the more interesting or weird or screwed up they might manifest. Think of thsee situations as science experiments -- though thinking of them as fun is much, much better.

guava · Fri, January 8th, 2010, 11:45 PM

It's just as likely that you're bored than boring.

Once I made the decision to stop getting drunk, it made sense just to quit drinking altogether. I found that drinking half as much as anyone that I was with was just as boring as drinking nothing while they got drunk.

But YMMV

guava · Fri, January 8th, 2010, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by modmaven

Think of thsee situations as science experiments --

Agreed. Being sober while everyone else is drunk is a good way to find out things that people wouldn't have told you when they were sober, and that they won't even remember they told you.

Zilla · Sat, January 9th, 2010, 04:58 PM

Maybe it's time to find new friends?

I haven't had a drink in well over 20 years. 5 years wasted in a relationship with a alcoholic made sure I never touched drink ever again. With that being said, if people want to get plastered, so be it, however I don't need to hang around to poke their fuzzy brains with questions they wouldn't answer while being sober. If they can't tell such things without booze, it's either not that important or it's time to exit stage left.

If you're drinking just to be one of the crowd, IMO, you need to change the crowd you're hanging out with. Didn't your mother ever say things like "If all your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it too?" It's a dumb question, but mothers that say this have a valid point even if it is hidden behind a scowl, frown or a finger being pointed into the air...

Pete5 · Sat, January 9th, 2010, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guava

Agreed. Being sober while everyone else is drunk is a good way to find out things that people wouldn't have told you when they were sober, and that they won't even remember they told you.

I can vouch for this. I've had people "spill the beans" so to speak regarding their inner-most feelings. Literally, they will just start telling me their life story and all of their insecurities. It's amazing to see what people's lives are truly like. Most of these people, you never would have even guessed. As shallow as this may sound, it's a big confidence booster hearing others problems and realizing that nobody is perfect.

Foley · Sat, January 9th, 2010, 08:00 PM

I guess I just have shit social skills when sober. I had a few drinks tonight and was a lot more at ease. etc

Nowhereman · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 02:38 AM

I tend to get looser with alcohol in me so I understand what you mean. I'm generally quiet around people but mostly because I tend to have hobbies and interests that people around me find boring.

Anyway, here is an article.

A Musclehead's guide to alcohol.

Foley · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nowhereman

I tend to get looser with alcohol in me so I understand what you mean. I'm generally quite around people but mostly because I tend to have hobbies and interests that people around me find boring.

Anyway, here is an article.

A Musclehead's guide to alcohol.

Thanks for the link man.

TheThirdMohican · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 04:26 PM

I think it definitely takes some time to become used to being the only (or one of the few) sober person in a party or social event. At first you are kind of awkward and do not know what to do with yourself (and I have done the texting, aimlessly walking around, etc.)

At some point you have to realize that the only thing stopping you from having as much fun as the people drinking are your own built-up inhibitions. If you can just turn those off for a bit and have a ball without drinking (dancing, making jokes, etc.) then you have the best of both worlds.

JDiesel · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 04:36 PM

Quote:

At some point you have to realize that the only thing stopping you from having as much fun as the people drinking are your own built-up inhibitions. If you can just turn those off for a bit and have a ball without drinking (dancing, making jokes, etc.) then you have the best of both worlds.

I completely agree. I go to a university where there is A LOT of drinking going on and I've learned that I can have just as much fun at parties as my drunk friends, if not more, by simply interacting with all the people around me. Most of them are drunk enough that most social boundaries/protocols aren't an issue.

Foley · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 05:11 PM

Thanks for the replies everyone. You guys are right. I think my social skills are also pretty shit. I prefer the company of people I know and I find it hard to get outside that box, unless I have a couple of drinks. I'm gonna make this into a challenge for myself to try harder.

BJ · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Foley

Thanks for the replies everyone. You guys are right. I think my social skills are also pretty shit. I prefer the company of people I know and I find it hard to get outside that box, unless I have a couple of drinks. I'm gonna make this into a challenge for myself to try harder.

I would suggest a few books to help with this...

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie)
Personality Plus (Littauer)

Sadly, our school systems (at least in the US) do not teach skills on how to relate with people.

TheThirdMohican · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BJ

I would suggest a few books to help with this...

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie)
Personality Plus (Littauer)

Sadly, our school systems (at least in the US) do not teach skills on how to relate with people.

Big on this one.

It will help you career-wise too long-term no matter what you go into.

Learning to be exceptionally social and likable is a skill that must be honed.

KoNcEpT61 · Sun, January 10th, 2010, 07:27 PM

As a police applicant, my recruiters look at the amount of times i drink per week, and how many times i get intoxicated.

i go to the bar often, but im generally DD. i don't mind, and I make sure my friends have a good time. Even when I'm not drinking, I'll still play pool, or shoot darts, or just chat. I'd definitely not text other people on my phone the whole time. It doesnt matter where you are, people generally see that as a sign you dont like hanging out with them.

Honestly, I don't even really like beer, so I have too many reasons to just not drink than I do to drink. Guiness Draught and the New 67 Calorie Canadian beer arent too bad if u want a cold one. I heard the Draught tastes more like a milk shake, but it only has 60ish calories. I read about it in Mens Health.