Before its too late....my journal

[suge]

Hi guys

I will cut to the chase and be as frank and honest with myself and all you good people as I can be. I will sound like Im ranting here but I think I need to get this off my chest and clear the slate before starting my journal. Theres no point cheating yourself in your own journal....right?

I currently weigh 146kg (320 pounds) and am suffering from a range of issues. I do have insulin resistance (no diabetes at this stage thankfully but I sure am in the firing line), I suffer from gout, my blood pressure is up and my lower joints always ache because of the weight being forced on them. I am currently prescribed a daily medication to stabilise my uric acid levels as well as medication for my insulin resistance. Of course, being careless, I dont take them and then pay the price when Im in pain from gout or whinging about how ugly and out of shape I feel.

I always thought that I was not "that far gone" mainly because I led a pretty decent social life, had no real dramas with the ladies, wore decent clothes and so forth. That illussion clouded the real problems. Sure, on the surface I was confident and outgoing and the life of the party but come home time, if I was alone, I would feel absolutely miserable and would hate myself.

Ive learned that comparing yourself to others is always going to be a problem, particularly if someone has a completely different genetic make up. Ive been reading Tom Venuto's book "Burn the fat, feed the muscle" and have taken some good points from it. One of those points is to set goals, daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, quarterly goals, a yearly goal and then an ultimate goal. Ive read that if I can better myself each day, then I am achieving a goal. Quite simple in theory, but Ive never thought of it like that or put it into practice.

My problem has always been that Ive started and then stopped my "lifestyle changes". To be honest, they were never "lifestyle changes" but more so quick fixes I thought would make me happy and get me to where I wanted to be. Truth is, I never had a clear picture, a clear plan or clear commitment. Consistency always lacked.

Now Im back again, with the aforementioned health problems knowing that I need to make some changes and improve my life. Last Saturday, I had an attack of gout in my left foot and for the whole day was laid out. Yeh, it was my fault, I got lazy with taking my meds, I ate the wrong foods, I had no one to blame but myself. It was also the night I just thought to myself, "screw this". I figured I cannot let these conditions and my weight dictate my life any longer.

Im 34, will be 35 in about 8 months. Ive been overweight my whole life. In 2004, I weighed about 160kg and lost some good weight through sheer hard work and eating right, so I do know what I need to do, but this time,I want to do it right and keep things going.....the lifestyle change Ive always sought.

Im engaged to be married, Im lucky to have 2 weddings,one in Australia in March and then another overseas in August. I work in a professional field, Im self employed and am flexible with time. Unfortunately, Im always in the office but the thought of being able to train anytime always appealed to be as a self employed man. No, I never took up that opportunity.

So here I am today, Ive laid it all out on the table.

I dont want to piss in anyones pocket, but I do like this site and this forum. John Stone, what you have done with this forum is inspirational, your success is inspirational. I know that, by posting here, I will be accountable to all you good people and will have the support which I believe is vital.

I know it all starts with me and Im happy to say Ive set some goals and have started on my road to recovery, my road to health, my road to a comfortable life without the burden of obesity. No more excuses, no more "i did this once, or could have, should haves, would haves", no more it starts tomorrow or Monday.

It all starts now, I wont shoot myself if I skip a meal or eat the wrong thing or miss a workout, I will progress and just keep going.

So for my goals. My ultimate goal is to be lean and muscular and able to purchase clothes off the rack freely.

My yearly goal is to reach 100 kilos (220 pounds) so thats a 100 pound loss.

My quartery goal for March/April is to reach 135kg and have the consistency in place which is necessary to achieve my goals.

My daily and weekly goals are to improve on the day before, be it a workout or eating right and to maintain my consistency.

I will come back and review these goals throughout this journal.

I have read the stickies and have the assistance of a dietician for my meals.

I will not be training at a gym as I have collected a fairly decent arsenal of equipment over the last 2 years. I currently have a treadmill, a weights bench with a pulldown attachment, a bench press bar, a curling bar and a few sets of different weight dumbells.

This week Ive already completed 3 cardio sessions of 30-45 minutes which have got me back into the frame of mind for exercise. I have bettered myself in each session. The legs had not really worked for a while so thankfully the cobwebs are clear.

I will post a more detailed breakdown of my diet and exercise in the coming days.

Thanks for reading guys.

Cheers

[zero to hero]

Good Luck suge. Try not to go too fast too soon I am sure your goal whilst a big one is perfectly achieveable in a year so I look forward to your first post of 2010

I would definately recommend taking fish oil supplements they will help with the inflamation in your body and the gout. I would expect that as the fat comes off your health will improve dramatically

[Seltzer]

Best wishes for success Suge!

You're right, it all starts with you. You want it, now go get it. From what you've written your plan seems to be a sensible one; I'm looking forward to more details as well as following your progress.

[suge]

Thanks for the comments guys.

I am trying to be as realistic as possible which is something I was not with my past attempts.

Will look into the fish oil supps.

Friday 16 Jan 09

Ironically, despite a solid few days of taking my meds and being "back on track", I woke up with a painful ankle, not sure if it was gout but it definately hurt like it. I medicated it and strapped it and figured Id get on the treadmill, but in the end did not want to overdo it.

Gradually it improved during the day and I found myself walking around comfortably. I got into the city to do some shopping and parked the car alot further than I would have normally and walked to the shops, I feel its little things like this I need to do to get into the right frame of mind.

In hindsight, a week in, I can see how lazy I was before.

[suge]

Monday 19 January 09

The pain I felt on Friday subsided but I decided not make it worse and chose not to work out. That would be my first real test, missing a workout, would I pick up the next day. In the past I would just fall off the wagon and not return.

On Saturday, I jumped on the treadmill and felt great. I skipped Sunday and then kicked off again today.

Thats my first full week of working out again, goal completed.

I have seen steady progress in each session and my comfort levels increase, each day I will go faster and longer.

I have also been consistent with my meds to treat the gout and insulin resistance, and I feel great about that.

My diet has been 100% better than before, I did have a flexible day on sunday though but come today I was back into it and happy with my input.

My training schedule for now focusses on the treadmill and will until the end of January at which time I intend on introducing some full body weight workouts, 3 times a week.

[zero to hero]

Originally Posted by suge

Monday 19 January 09

The pain I felt on Friday subsided but I decided not make it worse and chose not to work out. That would be my first real test, missing a workout, would I pick up the next day. In the past I would just fall off the wagon and not return.

On Saturday, I jumped on the treadmill and felt great. I skipped Sunday and then kicked off again today.

I know what you mean about the test of missing a workout but congrats to you on getting back in the tread mill straight away