Ego

[Jim G.]

When someone askes advice about lifting, cardio, 'how much weight should I stack on the bar'... a line that many people like to add is 'leave your ego outside of the gym'. And I know this is ment in a good way, as in 'don't overdo it or you might get injured, always use good form first...'
But it got me thinking, isn't ego what this is all about really? I think most of the people on these forums are into fitness to improve their apearance (and general health offcourse). And our ego is the drive behind all the effort, the training, the diet, all things about it.
So from now on I'm saying: when you're going to the gym, bring your ego along, cause that's what you're there for in the first place.

[sox311]

I say use your ego to get in the door. But lose it when you are lifting. Form and doing slow reps is what I am focusing on as of lately, and that means less weight, so the ego must go to the side.

I used to grab the 110, biggest they have at the gym, and do straight bar curls. Now I grab 80 or 90 and do slow 2 seconds up, 2 sec static hold and 3 second negatives. And you get the pump twice as fast and I am not doing as many sets. And I am digging the results.

[Bluestreak]

Ego is a funny thing. It's the thing that drives us to be who we are, defines how we interact with others and pushes us to be competitive. More often than not, in males more than females, it very quickly lets us forget why we do something in a blind need to be better than the next guy.

In the gym, almost everything I see is misplaced bravado. It's the alpha male being his pathetic, antiquated self in one his last natural habitats where he can strut about and look like the ass he really is. Is that what you're bringing your ego for? To compete with that idiot? Who are you competing with? Ego begets competition. Implies it. Even pushes a person to seek it. For what? Who are you competing with in the gym? The moron who's using his body momentum to lift more than he could with proper form? The chubby schlep in the corner who can squat 400-lbs. and murder 50 hot wings immediately after his workout because he's "bulking"? Or maybe it's the collection of numbnuts who don't realize the gym has a variety of equipment beyond the bench press, yet are there every day... manning those bench presses?

You can bring your ego. But don't just bring your ego. Bring your reasons for becoming a better person to keep that lunkheaded ego in check. Bring your reasons for improving who you are, not just what you look like or how much you can lift. Your reason for growing and staying healthy and being fit. People on this board can be are so obsessed with getting six-pack abs that they seem to forget that what you're doing is about quality, not quantity...

-R

[Kino]

I can't get this out of my head now...

Our egos are what gets us into trouble...pride, is what keeps us there.

I've learned that it's all about trying to remain humble, even in the most difficult of situations. I'm still working on it...

[PeteBDawg]

It isn't necessarily an arrogant or prideful thing to go to the gym. It can be a very humble experience.

In order to want to look better, you have to be willing to admit to yourself that you look worse than you want to, and you have to put yourself through a lot of difficulty and a fair amount of pain. It's practically religious.

The guy who goes to the gym to show off - who goes to the gym for the social gratification he gets at the gym, that's the proud, egotistic guy. Most guys at the gym are like that - but they're not getting the most out of their workout.

If you go to the gym because you want to look good later, that's not necessarily an arrogant thing to do, because you're admitting your faults. People who are in it to look good are often, ironically, less arrogant than people who are there to push the most iron.

It's vain to brag about your report card, but it's not vain to do your homework.

If a guy really has his act together, even if somebody goes out to the beach and shows off how buff he is or whatnot, the time he spends in the gym is usually humbling, because in order to get results without getting hurt, you have to admit that you're not as big or as strong or as cut as you want to be, and that there are people out there better than you are at this thing.

I find going to the gym to be a humbling and morally purifying experience; but I don't give half a crap what I look like when I lift and there are lots of 14 year olds who have a higher 1RM on the bench than I do.

[bagobonez]

Agreed. Going to the gym can be a very humbling experience. Especially when a skinnier guy next to you is benching more than you are. But this is where the men are separated from the boys.

I can see a smaller guy lifting more than me, get embarassed, and give up, or I can push myself that much harder to try to catch up.

I choose the latter.

[JoeSchmo]

Originally Posted by PeteBDawg

People who are in it to look good are often, ironically, less arrogant than people who are there to push the most iron.

I completely disagree -- I'm not going to make this case, but one could argue that the guy trying to get muscular and cut, with 7% bodyfat so that he can strut around with no shirt is more arrogant than the guy who wants to get as strong as possible, but doesn't garner a second look from passersby outside of the gym. I'm not going to make that argument because I think the whole "who is more arrogant" debate is rather silly and pointless.

It is all about ego folks, to some degree or another, and there are plenty of arrogant people on both sides of the fence. There are also plenty of people on both sides who geniunely want to improve themselves (whether it be primarily strength or looks), and gain satisfaction from doing that.

I'm one of those people who are more interested in gaining strength than seeing abs. I don't much care whether people admire my bench press, but it does make me feel good to know that I can bench X amount of pounds, much in the same way it makes you feel good to have X inch arms, and 6% body fat. To each his own.

[RTE]

Ego? Better to be self confident, I think that has a different conotation. Someone who is self confident feels at ease with in his body. He doesn't depend on others to set his path or provide him with their approval.

Going to a gym or anywhere is never humbling to the self confident man or woman. There is no false ego nor is there a false measure of capabilities. They are aware of their limitations and their strengths.

Now on weights. Use as much weight as you can for the set/rep plan you are following. I feel that controlled reps in proper form is the most effective means of lifting. I am going into my 50th year of playing the weights game without injury during lifting. I think HIT spells out the plan in a manner that to do HIT you must do it right.

[ucbgsr]

I bring my game face. I'm there for business. I like to get in, get out

I dont do it for anyone else, I dont do it for the looks from the girls, I don't like to talk to other people at the gym.

I like to get in, get out


But that's just me. I give credit where credit is due. I've been going to the same gym for nearly 2 years now. You know who the regulars are, you know who is making progress, and who is not.

[krosspyder]

thats why i dont care to go to gyms... its an ego fest and it really bothers me. i cant stand being around people who blantantly show off. its cool to be happy with what you can do and what you look like more im not digging those who go overboard. im more comfortable with those who are humble and respect those who obviously have lots of power and influence and yet remain humble.

[Leo]

Originally Posted by krosspyder

thats why i dont care to go to gyms... its an ego fest and it really bothers me. i cant stand being around people who blantantly show off. its cool to be happy with what you can do and what you look like more im not digging those who go overboard. im more comfortable with those who are humble and respect those who obviously have lots of power and influence and yet remain humble.

I feel ya' bro, but in all honestly it's that $hit right there that makes me push myself harder. Rather than think "that guy" is a vain POS with blessed genetics, I "kill" my muscles to failure just to catch up w/him. When he's less "flaunty" around me, I look around for the next guy that's kicking my @ss. That's how I play sports too.

[mprice25]

Originally Posted by JoeSchmo

I completely disagree -- I'm not going to make this case, but one could argue that the guy trying to get muscular and cut, with 7% bodyfat so that he can strut around with no shirt is more arrogant than the guy who wants to get as strong as possible, but doesn't garner a second look from passersby outside of the gym. I'm not going to make that argument because I think the whole "who is more arrogant" debate is rather silly and pointless.

I agree with you that the whole "who is more arrogant" debate is silly and pointless, however I'd just like to say that I'm one of those "7% bodyfat, just trying to get more ripped guys" but arrogance plays no part. It's all an issue of self-confidence, of which I have little. And I think you'll find that for a lot of the men and women in the gym, even the ones who strut around like they were born with a washboard stomach and 16inch arms (ouch for the mom) , are there to try to improve their self-confidence more so than boost their ego.

[Jim G.]

Originally Posted by Bluestreak

In the gym, almost everything I see is misplaced bravado. It's the alpha male being his pathetic, antiquated self in one his last natural habitats where he can strut about and look like the ass he really is. Is that what you're bringing your ego for? To compete with that idiot? Who are you competing with? Ego begets competition. Implies it. Even pushes a person to seek it. For what? Who are you competing with in the gym? The moron who's using his body momentum to lift more than he could with proper form? The chubby schlep in the corner who can squat 400-lbs. and murder 50 hot wings immediately after his workout because he's "bulking"? Or maybe it's the collection of numbnuts who don't realize the gym has a variety of equipment beyond the bench press, yet are there every day... manning those bench presses?-R

I didn't mean it like that, the only person I compete with when I'm at the gym is myself, neither have I ever looked down on anyone or felt myself to be better than anyone else.

But I've got this mental picture in my head of how I want to look eventually and it's my ego that's keeps me going and to not give up. I don't want people to think of me as 'weak'. At one point, I want them to notice me walking by and thinking: 'man, is that guy well-built or what!?'. Maybe it's lack of self-confidence or compensating for anything, I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. But anytime I feel like skipping a workout or giving up on a heavy set, my ego is there to keep me going. You could say it's my drive.

[Bluestreak]

Originally Posted by Jim G.

But I've got this mental picture in my head of how I want to look eventually and it's my ego that's keeps me going and to not give up. I don't want people to think of me as 'weak'. At one point, I want them to notice me walking by and thinking: 'man, is that guy well-built or what!?'.

That's not ego, that's focus. That's having a goal.

Originally Posted by Jim G.

Maybe it's lack of self-confidence or compensating for anything, I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. But anytime I feel like skipping a workout or giving up on a heavy set, my ego is there to keep me going. You could say it's my drive.

And that's your conscience talking to you, because you have a goal that means something to you. Every morning when I wake up, I have this struggle. Do I get up and workout, and inch closer to my goal or do I wimp out and sleep an extra hour? Sometimes conscience wins, sometime the body wins.

Ego is something else to me. Ego is a competitive spirit that's easily blinded by that competitiveness.

Case in point, I see the ego showcased all the time with guitar players. Any guitarist who's played with some seriousness for any appreciable amount of time seems to have an ego the size of Texas despite their ability to manipulate the instrument. If you made the analogy of bench press to guitarist ability, I could bench around 400-lbs. I find most other guitarists, casual or otherwise on a local level, are more in the 300~350-lb. range at best. I can't tell you how many projects I've been invited into where the existing guitarist can't work with me because he's got an ego that doesn't let another molecule of air in the room, let alone another guitarist. I, on the other hand, am just happy to be out of my back room studio and playing with someone other than an MP3... or my own work. I don't really have an ego or a prideful need to strut around like a peacock with his feathers out... I just let my abilities speak for themselves.

I think you're trying to do the same and you're confusing that with the concept of "ego". I could be wrong... but I don't think ego is what you're taking with you. I think it's a desire to be more than you are, and that's not ego, that's simply being driven, and that's one of the best things I think a person can be. Driven.

-R

[slowpoke]

Originally Posted by Kino

Our egos are what gets us into trouble...pride, is what keeps us there.

It's easier to stay out than get out. -Mark Twain