Only instead of my age transforming, it is my body... everyday it is like the real me is being sculpted out. even though I am only about 1/3rd toward my goal, I notice a few changes in my body and mind, both good and bad. Like I posted a while ago, I am vulnerable in my psyche, like others on here i have an addictive personality. Over the last few months as I have gotten my eating under control, I have noticed this manifest in many different ways. It is like a hole in a sink keeps springing and I have to constantly cover it, instead of over-eating, it became over-buying. Luckily I recognized it and nipped it in the bud, and I am now paying off my financial debt, and 'weight' debt at the same time. I have to always be on the look-out for recognizing when it will show itself again, I know I have crossed the line when it feels like what I'm doing is 'unhealthy', it is a boundary that becomes clear once I cross it, but since I've crossed it so many times I have to have discipline, to not cross it again

As I said I am feeling vulnerable in my psyche, it is like all the weight I am losing is releasing a lot of karma, which I didn't prepare for, but I understand the need to deal with it even though it's not easy. A benefit of this is being 'vulnerable' is, watching a movie or listening to music is so much better and more immersive.

Finally, even though I am still large, I am getting much more respect in the real world, when I met with my parents, they were listening to me more and responding to my energies. Before I had gotten used to being ignored, now it is like my personality is magnified to the outer world, maybe because there is less 'chub' for it to go through. This is all a big learning experience for me, if I didn't have a faith in god, I wouldn't be able to make it, I have to rely on god instead of eating, buying, and 'killing' everything I touch in my excesses, maybe one day I can use this excess to do good in the world, but now I am only taking it slowly