I’ve been a regular visitor , a huge lurker and sometimes contributor on these forums. For a couple of years now I have been fascinated with the mental aspect of transformation and training. I’d thought to write down my thoughts about it and hopefully get a discussion going, because in my book the mental aspect is the number one reason why people fail and/or succeed. It all starts in your head.
I want to list a few observations that I made , that may or not may be correct , but I perceive them as very true.Some points might be a tad controversial , but I’ll throw them out there anyway. They aren’t so positive towards human beings in general , but it IS an observation.


1.Realise that some people don’t want you to change

That’s right. Some people want you to stay exactly the way you are. I’d suggest that this process is mostly unconscious but people are afraid of change. Think of the husband that is unconsciously sabotaging his wife’s effort to get in great shape in fear of her being more attractive to other men. Think of your male buddies that are protesting loudly and laugh at you when you order a diet coke instead of your regular beer. It is rare to find someone that is really supportive of your transformation , and you should cherish them when you find them. In general people don’t want you growing stronger and better , because you’re growing stronger and better than THEM. During your journey you will find this kind of resistance along the way.


2. Realise that most people simply don’t care

Say you run into an old friend : by working terribly hard you have acquired a rock hard body , a trophy husband/wife , a fantastic house and ditto car. Don’t think he would be happy for you. Most people will be jealous or simply don’t care at all. You will find that people tend to listen a lot more to your stories when you’re down and depressed. They want to hear all your misery … because it makes them feel better. When you’re working on your transformation , don’t expect praise from everyone around you. Don’t expect them to even notice.

I hear you thinking : this guy that’s writing this : what a cynic. But I’m not ! On to point 3.


3. Find a peer group

That’s right. Read Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. One of the traits of successful businessmen is that they have found people that think like them. If you hang out with drug addicts and people without ambition you will not go anywhere yourself. Hang out with people that are successful and supportive. People that are on a personal journey and want to help you.
Guess what you’re doing by being on these forums ? That’s right , you have found yourself a peer group , people dedicated and committed to success. If you read this , you are well under way to get yourself handled. You have come here seeking advice. It’s like in the saying : when you’re ready to learn , the teacher will find you. Of course internet groups don’t substite real life people completely. But it is great that this exists and it's here for you to gain from and contribute to.


4. Find a mentor

This is perhaps the hardest to do. Find someone that is a couple of years further down the path that you are on. Make friends with them, pay them for their advice. Do what they tell you to do. It is so important to have someone giving you some tough love. Like the old man in the Karate Kid and Obi Wan in Star Wars : find someone that has the wisdom and that is willing to invest time and energy into your sorry ass. Good mentors are hard to come by. Perhaps you are thinking :why would someone help ME ? Guess what : these people actually get something out of teaching you. When you teach something to someone you are taking it to a new level. Perhaps you some day too , when you are a lot further down your path will give advice to newbies and try to avoid them making the mistakes you made. But of course , they all make the mistakes. And that’s how they learn.

5.Get Leverage on Yourself

For me personally , that is the number one key to transformation success. I need a kick in the butt. And I figure you need it too. I am blessed with a wonderful girlfriend and we both are on our paths and helping each other evolve into better and stronger people. We set goals together , but after about a year of seeing each other not reaching all goals we set, one day we came to a realization. We need some Damocles Sword hanging above our heads , we need to be punished when we don’t work hard enough. So we opened a savings account and for example I have to go to the gym 5 times a week. If I only get there 4 times : I have to deposit 25 euros into the account. If I go only once .. that’s 100 euros.
It’s a little mini-game between us but it keeps us sharp and prevents us from not following through. You have to be supportive of each other of course =)
I assure you : you don’t fail. You have leveraged each other in a positive way.


So that was what I wanted to throw out there. Feel free to add stuff and discuss your experiences about this subject. I’d love to hear what other people here think about it. And hopefully have given some tips that can be of use.

3. Find a peer group

That’s right. Read Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. One of the traits of successful businessmen is that they have found people that think like them. If you hang out with drug addicts and people without ambition you will not go anywhere yourself. Hang out with people that are successful and supportive. People that are on a personal journey and want to help you.
Guess what you’re doing by being on these forums ? That’s right , you have found yourself a peer group , people dedicated and committed to success. If you read this , you are well under way to get yourself handled. You have come here seeking advice. It’s like in the saying : when you’re ready to learn , the teacher will find you. Of course internet groups don’t substite real life people completely. But it is great that this exists and it's here for you to gain from and contribute to.


Thanks that was a great read, point 3 really struck home for me - the community here is just soo friendly its great, and the advice is straight to the point, no BS!....

point 1 was funny but true I guess ... in a way its good to understand that because it has that 'reverse physiology' effect to motivate you.

:nod:

That's very interesting and point 1 is certainly true, non of my friends have noticed my change except from one. Thinking about it, that's kind of pissed me off now.

That's very interesting and point 1 is certainly true, non of my friends have noticed my change except from one. Thinking about it, that's kind of pissed me off now.

They're not to blame , no one is , but just know that this kind of thing can happen and be prepared to deal with it. Don't get pissed :)
The resistance you get isn't the sort of resistance you really counted on and it's difficult to hold your ground when 10 guys of a football team are calling you a wussy because you refuse to drink beer with them.

Some people even give up their transformation because they feel like they become social outcasts. No one wants to be reminded by a water-sipping bodybuilder that alcohol can be detrimental to your health. So if they're drinking , they want you to be drinking too. Making you a "social" drinker

The way I see it , choosing for this transformation , also makes it very obvious who your friends are. You learn a lot from it.

It's difficult to cut those people from your life that aren't supportive of you , but in the end that's what you got to do. Or just see them less :cool:

They're not to blame , no one is , but just know that this kind of thing can happen and be prepared to deal with it. Don't get pissed :)

True, thanks :)

Mate, you make some decent points, but I really think you're over-analysing things.


At the end of the day, physical transformations, particularly when done for purely aesthetic reasons, as they are for 95 percent plus of people, are not the be all and end all, they should form a small part of one's life and focus only I think, the aesthetic goals tail shouldn't be wagging the dog of one's wider life.


At the end of the day I would say developing as a person, and developing one's mind will always be more important than anything one achieves in the gym. Whilst physical transformations can have a dramatic effect in some cases on people's lives, particularly with regard to how the transformee feels about himself/herself, at the same time they're not a panacea for all our problems, and in many cases, the only person who will truly notice and appreciate the transfomration is the trasnformee himself/herself. Obviously everybody would notice a drop in 20 percent in bodyfat in a person but in the case of a less dramatic transformation, say from 15 percent body fat to 8 percent, friends, family, colleagues etc, particularly people who are seeing you every day might barely notice/care/be completely oblivious to the changes you are making . That is why these undertakings to transform oneself physically are a deeply personal thing, and the motivation must come from oneself, not from others. For this reason one cannot expect help from others when it comes to diet and booze.


When it comes to physical transformations I think the best bet is to try and do one's work quietly and effectively, get a good programme and stick with it, don't obsess too much about tweaks and chops and changes and don't make a song and dance about things etc. and expect fulsome support from friends and family etc. cos it aint their problem.

I guess it all boils down to either do something or don't do it :-

Gym - either go or don't go.

Booze - hit the booze or don't hit it.

Junk - help yourself to junk food or don't.

Mate, you make some decent points, but I really think you're over-analysing things.



Well , that happens if you start writing out your thoughts. :confused:

I am a firm believer of evolution. It is basically my life goal. I want to keep evolving and learning on all levels : physically as well as intellectually , socially , ... and so on.

You are entirely correct by saying that this is just one portion of a good lifestyle. It is.

I gather from your post that you're a very down-to-earth and mature person. You got it down , but not everyone is as laid-back and cool about things.

It all boils down to the choices you make on a daily basis. Spot on buddy :)

1.Realise that some people don’t want you to change

...Think of the husband that is unconsciously sabotaging his wife’s effort to get in great shape in fear of her being more attractive to other men.

This one hits close to home with the exception that I have never tried sabotaging my wife's efforts.

I have always considered my wife to be very pretty, but since the two of us started lifting weights together in October 2007, she has become hot. Now guys check her out all of the time. It didn't used to bother me, but lately I find myself playing the jealous husband role which is not like me. Guess I will have to continue to lift and get huge so I can look more intimidating. ;)

They're not to blame , no one is , but just know that this kind of thing can happen and be prepared to deal with it. Don't get pissed :)
The resistance you get isn't the sort of resistance you really counted on and it's difficult to hold your ground when 10 guys of a football team are calling you a wussy because you refuse to drink beer with them.

Some people even give up their transformation because they feel like they become social outcasts. No one wants to be reminded by a water-sipping bodybuilder that alcohol can be detrimental to your health. So if they're drinking , they want you to be drinking too. Making you a "social" drinker

The way I see it , choosing for this transformation , also makes it very obvious who your friends are. You learn a lot from it.

It's difficult to cut those people from your life that aren't supportive of you , but in the end that's what you got to do. Or just see them less :cool:



I think social occasions are the one thing that are really difficult. It's nit just a question of having the willpower to say no to booze or meals in restaurants etc. it's also a case of asking yourself is it to your overall benefit to say no. In fact not just socially but in terms of business/commerce too - business lunches,business conferences, work nights out etc.

Are you potentially going to hurt yourself socially or in terms of business contacts if you refuse all offers of restaurant meals or boozy nights out cos you're 100 percent focused on aesthetic physical goals and don't want a single unit of alcohol to pass your lips and the food available isn't in keeping with your goals.


And then the next question might be is it worth denying yourself social occasions in favour of the 100 percent focus on phsyical goals when the only difference might be a difference between say 11 percent bodyfat and 9 percent bodyfat, the kind of difference that will almost certainly only be noticed by yourself and even then only by taking photos of yourself in the correct lighting ? :confused:


Everything in balance I guess and different people will have different answers to these sorts of questions.

I agree with almost everything you said. There are definitely people who don't want you to change. Jealousy is a strong emotion and drives people to do unbelievable things.

The community here is great and being active on these forums helps keep my mind on task. I started a journal this week so that I would have a reason to post here and after 6 months I'd be able to look back at where I was. I feel like the journal gives me accountability. I need other people outside of my friends and familiy to know what I'm going through. Friends and family are too understanding and don't push me enough. I want the people here to kick my @$$ and get after me when I slack.

I agree with almost everything you said. There are definitely people who don't want you to change. Jealousy is a strong emotion and drives people to do unbelievable things.


Thanks. Of course I didn't mean to focus on that point , which is a rather cynical and negative point of view. I don't judge people who do that kind of thing. It's human , i think , and not all human things are good things. :D

At some point along the way, perhaps 3 or so years ago, I realized that health was my prerogative. The first two bullet points simply melted away once I made that mental transition.

This became more about turning inward and flexing more than just the visible muscles; it's about improving who I was from the outside-in, and coincidentally, that improved me from the inside-out as well. It's a test of willpower, and like all muscles, willpower has to be exercised to be strengthened, too.

I still have detractors after four years of eating healthy and maintaining a lean physique.

My family, Roman Catholic Italians who seem to only gather around absurdly large feasts of food, don't believe I'm any healthier today than I was five years ago when I was, quite frankly, a total tub of lard who got winded running a single flight of stairs. I'm healthier today than I've ever been in my life, yet they refuse to believe that. If you're not fat, to them, you can't be happy or healthy.

My friends wonder why I order a chicken salad and an unsweet tea while they drink beer and eat wings.

Are you potentially going to hurt yourself socially or in terms of business contacts if you refuse all offers of restaurant meals or boozy nights out cos you're 100 percent focused on aesthetic physical goals and don't want a single unit of alcohol to pass your lips and the food available isn't in keeping with your goals.

My subordinates at work tend to be the problem. My clients, peers, and friends are all quite fascinated by the transformation I've managed to create for myself (but they're mainly engineers, and it seems bodybuilding has a lot of eggheads like me who get into it). I've even helped a couple of clients make positive changes over the years to lose weight themselves. They aren't seeking the elite result I try to achieve, but many have lost significant weight and kept it off. Helping people improve because of my example, though it's sadly been infrequent, has been perhaps the most satisfying of all.

After all this time, co-workers still scoff as I turn down the monthly birthday cake and the occasional vendor-sponsored lunches complete with greasy burgers, fries, sugary sodas, cookies and chips. They can't understand how I could possibly walk past the ever-full candy dishes sprinkled around the office without stealing a piece.

I have more motivation to do what I do, but you get the picture. It's a personal journey that, IMO, only has to matter to you to be successful. Outside influences, jealous spouses, etc... it all fades away when you focus on yourself and stop worrying about what others think. They'll get over the shock of your changes with time. Most everyone surrounding me has; they've had five years to do it now. Anyone else not acclimated to my life at this point can take a flying leap for all I care.

-R

Thanks. Of course I didn't mean to focus on that point , which is a rather cynical and negative point of view. I don't judge people who do that kind of thing. It's human , i think , and not all human things are good things. :D

Yeah it sounds cynical and negative - I don't think you are - I simply think you're stating it as is. I try to be positive as much as possible but we can't ignore reality. The truth is that some people are mean, cruel, jealous and don't want others to succeed greater than themselves.

Mate, you make some decent points, but I really think you're over-analysing things.


At the end of the day, physical transformations, particularly when done for purely aesthetic reasons, as they are for 95 percent plus of people, are not the be all and end all, they should form a small part of one's life and focus only I think, the aesthetic goals tail shouldn't be wagging the dog of one's wider life.


At the end of the day I would say developing as a person, and developing one's mind will always be more important than anything one achieves in the gym. Whilst physical transformations can have a dramatic effect in some cases on people's lives, particularly with regard to how the transformee feels about himself/herself, at the same time they're not a panacea for all our problems, and in many cases, the only person who will truly notice and appreciate the transfomration is the trasnformee himself/herself. Obviously everybody would notice a drop in 20 percent in bodyfat in a person but in the case of a less dramatic transformation, say from 15 percent body fat to 8 percent, friends, family, colleagues etc, particularly people who are seeing you every day might barely notice/care/be completely oblivious to the changes you are making . That is why these undertakings to transform oneself physically are a deeply personal thing, and the motivation must come from oneself, not from others. For this reason one cannot expect help from others when it comes to diet and booze.


When it comes to physical transformations I think the best bet is to try and do one's work quietly and effectively, get a good programme and stick with it, don't obsess too much about tweaks and chops and changes and don't make a song and dance about things etc. and expect fulsome support from friends and family etc. cos it aint their problem.

I guess it all boils down to either do something or don't do it :-

Gym - either go or don't go.

Booze - hit the booze or don't hit it.

Junk - help yourself to junk food or don't.
That is a great post.

Often times, I'm guilty of being too single minded. Incorporating fitness as a part of your lifestyle, instead of making it your lifestyle, seems like a better philosophy for long term success, as well as a better philosophy in general.

I think social occasions are the one thing that are really difficult. It's nit just a question of having the willpower to say no to booze or meals in restaurants etc. it's also a case of asking yourself is it to your overall benefit to say no. In fact not just socially but in terms of business/commerce too - business lunches,business conferences, work nights out etc.

Are you potentially going to hurt yourself socially or in terms of business contacts if you refuse all offers of restaurant meals or boozy nights out cos you're 100 percent focused on aesthetic physical goals and don't want a single unit of alcohol to pass your lips and the food available isn't in keeping with your goals.


And then the next question might be is it worth denying yourself social occasions in favour of the 100 percent focus on phsyical goals when the only difference might be a difference between say 11 percent bodyfat and 9 percent bodyfat, the kind of difference that will almost certainly only be noticed by yourself and even then only by taking photos of yourself in the correct lighting ? :confused:


Everything in balance I guess and different people will have different answers to these sorts of questions.

This has been on mind for quite some time. I'm in the middle of the crunch before final exams right now, so going out a lot isn't a big concern. But once this semester ends it means that I am actually done with law school after three pretty intense years which, in turn, means that my group of friends is going to want to go out and party their asses off to celebrate come May 9.

I've been eating clean without a single cheat meal for months and I work out HARD 6 days a week. I completely gave up drinking until I get my body fat down to around 12%.

So the question I always ask myself: What do I do when it's time to celebrate graduating? The one time I took a study break and did go out with friends recently, I met up with a bunch of them at a bar and drank soda water. They all commented on how good I looked and how much weight I lost, but after about an hour they were all drunk and I was very sober. On an aside: From a purely sociological perspective, this is a very interesting position to be in--people (even your friends!) do really silly things when they're drunk, but you usually don't notice because you're drunk too...

Anyway, and then after this summer work starts. Everyone in my department at my firm goes out every Friday for drinks. I would love to go with them and form relationships with my coworkers, but I also have worked too hard on this fitness thing to simply let it go.

I think in the end it's all about finding the proper balance which, admittedly, I have yet to do. I'll do a lot more thinking on this subject over the summer and come to some conclusions.

The one thing that seems most important to avoid is following a course of action in this regard without seriously thinking about it first. That is, if I am at a bar with friends and decide to have a drink, it cannot be because I just decided on a whim. I need to find a way to incorporate this kind of stuff back into my life without compromising my fitness goals or my overall fitness plan.

Anyway, great post!

Interesting observations. I haven't really found very many of them to be true.

Nobody has tried to sabotage my efforts except when it appeared to them that I was reaching a potentially unhealthy body weight, or when they saw that I was avoiding foods or activities that used to once give me immense pleasure.

As long as my outside appearance has projected a strong, contented, and directed route, there are no questions. In fact, I think I'd say most people have probably enjoyed spending time with me more than they would have before, because I'm happier and more confident. Happy confident people are fun to be around. If I look stressed, deprived, or frustrated, that's when they worry about me. Or if I'm overly self-righteous about my habits, or preachy or judgmental about their habits, they're not exactly eager to set time aside for me.

It sounds like a new peer group was a good thing for you, and I'm glad you've found people who are better able to share your achievements.

Guava - sounds like your situation is quite different than mine. You are lucky.

I work with numerous individuals who are well aware I've struggled with my weight for years. Our offices have food days almost once a week it seems. Always a b-day or some reason to have a party. I get bombarded with "Oh c'mon just a little isn't going to hurt you" kind of comments.

Three or four years ago I made those exact same kind of comments to people myself - I'm no better. I feel better about myself when I eat crap if I can get other people to eat it with me.

My problem is - yes, a little does hurt me, a lot. A small piece of cake turns into 8 pieces. 1 doughnut turns into 5.

I have to stay strict to get through the week. When I eat crappy food, I want more of it. When I eat more of it I feel horrible and miss my workouts. Once I get out of my routine the whole week is ruined. Then the weekend hits and why not just start on Monday?

A female friend of mine in the office is one such individual - she never made 1 positive commment about how I've changed - and I have - and she will continually offer food to me. When I mentioned I was paying a personal trainer (SWOLECAT BABY!) she laughed.

A lot of it is laziness and lack of knowledge.

Why aren't we all millionaires?

Because (a) we are not prepared to do the ongoing work on a continual basis and (b) even if half us had the work ethic we would still wouldn't have the effective knowledge to accomplish the goal.

Many of the people I know take the path of least resistance.

Others already have time-consuming interests of other sorts and don't see how they can add anything else to their already busy shedule.

It comes down to how bad do you want something. And even then those that want something usually try to get it the easiest way possible.

Reward without effort is a staple of modern thinking.

In a way it makes sense in the animal kingdom...most species will not expend any more energy than necessary in their hunt for food. This because animals do not have the luxury of pre-planning meals much. And they never know precisely where their next meal is coming from. Precious calories need to be retained for survival.

But our modern society over the post-Second World War decades has been increasingly Hedonistic.

If it feels good do it. If it feels good doing it without any effort, so much the better.

We have to stop off-loading blame for our failures on external forces to a large degree and take some accountability for the results we expect in life.

This not to say that working harder will get you better results. Work smarter instead. You can do a lot of hard work with no results whatever if you're doing it wrong.

But whatever it is you're doing the key word is consistency.

Just about every venture, if you stay with it long enough and communicate with like-minded people, tips and tricks plus opportunites will filter into into the mix along the way.

Nothing succeeds like success.

Failure is a test to see if you're actually capable of succeeding.

If we're looking for compliments and approval from society in everything we do we're in for a huge disappointment in life.

Points 1,2,3 I just can't comment on too much, because I've always been pretty internally motivated, to my determinant or advantage. It would be a lie to say what people think and how they react have NO effect though for me, though. I guess I am more distantly aware of the issue than anything else.

I've never been more than 30 pounds overweight, may be that's part of it for me too. Until I got my weight down to within 5 lbs of my goal, no one even seemed to notice my transformation or what I was eating.

I've seen how overweight people can be treated and it's deplorable. People don't make eye contact with them, they are ignored.

Strangely enough people who have worked on their looks can also be the brunt of social injustices too, but it's harder for people to empathize with them for some reason.

I wish so much people in general would stop trying to form pointless dividing lines between each other. I can say with complete honestly, I DON'T DO THIS. But all I can do is lead by example.

I do think more an more people out there are becoming more concerned with fitness, may be in the not so distant future we won't have to hear at a party to eat another piece of cake, it's a party! Of course, I always have a piece of cake at a party. I like cake.

I've never been more than 30 pounds overweight, may be that's part of it for me too. Until I got my weight down to within 5 lbs of my goal, no one even seemed to notice my transformation or what I was eating.I really don't typically notice what size people are. I recognize whether they are "about the same size as me" "smaller than me" "a little bigger than me" "a lot bigger than me", but if they don't jump across out of one of those categories, then I don't really notice. I don't know if that means I'm embarrassingly unobservant, or if I just have better things to pay attention to than my neighbour's girth.

Many of the people I know take the path of least resistance


I think this point is key

In a world engrossed with comfort and convenience exercise seems to tick all the WRONG boxes:

1) It eats up valuable 'I've worked all day and deserve a rest' time
2) It requires unreasonable commitment
3) Following the instructions of your favourite mainstream magazine to the letter you still looking nothing like the cover model
4) Shortcuts are expensive: thermogenics, roids etc...
5) Your cut off from your sugary treats that your oddly similar friends assures you you 'deserve'

I'm being facetious here but you get my idea

Frankly, while I would talk myself blue in the face about fitness to anyone who'd genuinely wants to change their lifestyle, I don't give a damn about anyone who effectively gorges themselves to death because its grants one more trait to anyone who has a strong, healthy body

Fortitude

And in a world where almost every pleasure in life is on tap, fortitude damn sure can't be bought

This has been on mind for quite some time. I'm in the middle of the crunch before final exams right now, so going out a lot isn't a big concern. But once this semester ends it means that I am actually done with law school after three pretty intense years which, in turn, means that my group of friends is going to want to go out and party their asses off to celebrate come May 9.

I've been eating clean without a single cheat meal for months and I work out HARD 6 days a week. I completely gave up drinking until I get my body fat down to around 12%.

So the question I always ask myself: What do I do when it's time to celebrate graduating? The one time I took a study break and did go out with friends recently, I met up with a bunch of them at a bar and drank soda water. They all commented on how good I looked and how much weight I lost, but after about an hour they were all drunk and I was very sober. On an aside: From a purely sociological perspective, this is a very interesting position to be in--people (even your friends!) do really silly things when they're drunk, but you usually don't notice because you're drunk too...

Anyway, and then after this summer work starts. Everyone in my department at my firm goes out every Friday for drinks. I would love to go with them and form relationships with my coworkers, but I also have worked too hard on this fitness thing to simply let it go.

I think in the end it's all about finding the proper balance which, admittedly, I have yet to do. I'll do a lot more thinking on this subject over the summer and come to some conclusions.

The one thing that seems most important to avoid is following a course of action in this regard without seriously thinking about it first. That is, if I am at a bar with friends and decide to have a drink, it cannot be because I just decided on a whim. I need to find a way to incorporate this kind of stuff back into my life without compromising my fitness goals or my overall fitness plan.

Anyway, great post!


My personal suggestion re alcohol and body recomp would be this, if you enjoy a drink socially, if you feel it enhances things for you in terms of having a drink in a bar with buddies/colleagues, in terms of enjoying going to a club, having a drink and a dance and meeting women, then don't cut it out completely, at least not long term, cut it out completely for maybe 3 months if you feel that will help you, but I think your body recomp goals will work out just fine if you restrict your boozing to one enjoyable night out a week at the weekends, allow yourself one junk food or restaurant meal also on one weekend night, I think you've got to allow yourself a little enjoyment and relaxation at weekends after a hard week at work to keep yourself sane, and let's face it, a meal in a restaurant with a pretty girl just isn't the same without a nice bottle of wine (or two), and a night in a pub or a club with your mates just isn't the same without having a few beers.

Apart from that the rest of the time make sure you're working out and eating clean. This is the balance I have decided upon just now. I am determined to enhance my body comp but at the same time I want one night a week where I can fecking relax and have a good time. I have done this for the last 3 months and have defo dropped a lot of fat.

Oh yeah another thing I do to help me is drink low carb beers whenever I can, Michelob Ultra has about half the cals of say budweiswer, tastes great and goes down a fecking treat, comes highly recommended:tu:

Frankly, while I would talk myself blue in the face about fitness to anyone who'd genuinely wants to change their lifestyle, I don't give a damn about anyone who effectively gorges themselves to death because its grants one more trait to anyone who has a strong, healthy body

I noticed that this is a personal pitfall of mine. The more I am committed to a healthy lifestyle , the more I tended to feel sad or even disgust of people that are letting theirselves go. I don't know why , but I used to get angry at them. It's not extreme but I just can't understand why some people are self-destructing theirselves. You don't have to look like a cover model of course , but looking after your health and fitness should be a part of anybody's life.

Recently in some thread on another forum i read this :

There's a quote I like to use when people sass me on this subject: "There's no pleasure worth forgoing for an extra three years in the nursing home." I smoke, drink, fuck anything that moves and eat anything that holds still. I smoke cigarettes on mountain peaks and get drunk on planes. I drape bacon over flash-seared steak and eat them with bare hands.
Someday when I'm old, fat, and sick, I'll have those memories to look back on. And then I'll turn to the jogger in the next bed and say "what did you think was gonna happen? NOT dying?"

I don't know why that last sentence makes me kind of angry but it does. I want to answer him : fat people don't get old.

Do you guys have the same thing happening ? What are your thoughts when you see a 300 pound man order 12 hamburgers ? Do you feel pity , disgust , anger or do you even care ? I don't know why it upsets me , but it does.

...

Do you guys have the same thing happening ? What are your thoughts when you see a 300 pound man order 12 hamburgers ? Do you feel pity , disgust , anger or do you even care ? I don't know why it upsets me , but it does.

I couldn't care less. And, honestly, who am I to judge what other people do with their lives? Who am I to set what people should aim for? Maybe the guy that just ordered 12 hamburgers has also written the most beautiful poem -or symphony, or whatever- ever conceived and his life is as fulfilled as the next guy's.

Sure, health is an important part of human life. It is a major part, actually. That doesn't imply it is the only facet of life and if somebody chooses to go the unhealthy route (for whatever reason), as long as they don't hurt others (and that is a complicated subject, granted) and accept the consequences, I'm perfectly fine with that.

I noticed that this is a personal pitfall of mine. The more I am committed to a healthy lifestyle , the more I tended to feel sad or even disgust of people that are letting theirselves go.
This too shall pass. I used to feel that way, too.

We're each given a high-performance machine to ferry our consciousness all over this spinning mudball - why would someone willingly choose to carry around a sagging sack of skin? That's like towing a boat with a race car. You could do it, but why?

Fitness is a personal choice. It's not the right choice or the only choice just because it's better for your body than the many sedentary alternatives we see in society today. It's a choice we each make.

I believe that most people choose to drape themselves in fat suits out of ignorance of what it's doing to them, but it's still their choice to do it, their choice to remain ignorant of the health consequences, and their early grave. I'm quite sure that the instances of 90-year old chain smokers are the exception, not the rule. And I'm quite sure that the 45-year old guy who's 400-lbs. and looks like he's 70 isn't having as much fun as we are with life. In fact, I can guarantee that examples of such people don't enjoy the life I do.

It no longer saddens me that people choose to be fat. It makes them socially invisible. In many cases, it makes them professionally invisible - obesity is discriminated against, though it's never stated outright for obvious reasons. They remove themselves as competition for me in many facets of life - just by being fat.

It's a choice. Period, end-of-sentence.

-R

The whole is equal to more than the sum of it's parts.

What does someone's outer shell say about the sum of a person's soul? The whole of who and what they are? So some people are overweight, so what? So they've made different choices in their lives then you, I'll bet the thin person next to you has made some different choices also.

Fat does not always even mean unhealthy. My father is overweight, under it he's all muscle, his cholesterol is lower than my trim step mom's, and his blood pressure if fine. His Dr calls him healthy.

I would much rather spend my time with an overweight person who is smart, funny, and kind, then a lean person who is cruel and dull. Sometimes people who are overweight learn to compensate with colorful personalities that are a lot of fun to be around.

Sometimes people who are overweight learn to compensate with colorful personalities that are a lot of fun to be around.


Okay so now you're stereotyping overweight people as "fat and jolly", that's disgraceful:nono::p:D

Umm.....that's why I said sometimes. Stereotypes are one thing, they have their place. Stereotypes are often based off some degree of truths, very general ones.I know you're probably making a point while razzing me a bit. :p

I totally understand why some people would be put off by people who have a lifestyle so vastly different than their own. If one spends so much dedication on something they feel strongly about, when someone else seems to disregard it so completely it's almost like a personal affront. It's like when something is so important to you is rejected by someone else it's a rejection of what one holds dear, and vital. It's personal, I'd like to think I get it.

I like the folks on this forum. This forum attracts all different people, some are overweight and trying to get information and support from those who've already made their journey. I just want them to know they are respected, encouraged, and wanted here. We're here to help each other, or we wouldn't be on this kind of a forum. Or we'd all exclusively join sites where everyone is already in shape. Right? :)

Umm.....that's why I said sometimes. Stereotypes are one thing, they have their place. Stereotypes are often based off some degree of truths, very general ones.I know you're probably making a point while razzing me a bit. :p

I totally understand why some people would be put off by people who have a lifestyle so vastly different than their own. If one spends so much dedication on something they feel strongly about, when someone else seems to disregard it so completely it's almost like a personal affront. It's like when something is so important to you is rejected by someone else it's a rejection of what one holds dear, and vital. It's personal, I'd like to think I get it.

I like the folks on this forum. This forum attracts all different people, some are overweight and trying to get information and support from those who've already made their journey. I just want them to know they are respected, encouraged, and wanted here. We're here to help each other, or we wouldn't be on this kind of a forum. Or we'd all exclusively join sites where everyone is already in shape. Right? :)


Good God, don't go all serious on me, I had no point to make whatsoever other than "razzing you a bit" :p:lol:

Good God, don't go all serious on me, I had no point to make whatsoever other than "razzing you a bit" :p:lol:

i think you 'razzed' successfully :p

I know you were just razzin'. ;) You thoughtfully included the smilies to tell me so.

I just thought I'd elaborate a bit, felt I was unclear earlier. It was not directed at ya. :D

I'm serious by nature, always have been. I actually have a sense of humor, very dry and understated. :neener:is just not me. :)

i think you 'razzed' successfully :p



I'm assuming of course that "razzing" is the same as "pish ripping" as we call it:lol:

I know you were just razzin'. ;) You thoughtfully included the smilies to tell me so.

I just thought I'd elaborate a bit, felt I was unclear earlier. It was not directed at ya. :D

I'm serious by nature, always have been. I actually have a sense of humor, very dry and understated. :neener:is just not me. :)



Come on, you can do it just the once, say something that you think might cause me serious offence:tucool::lol:

Damn you scots! :spank:

How was that? :p

Damn you scots! :spank:

How was that? :p


Hey not bad:tu:


"You kilt wearing, haggis munching, hard drinking Scots asshole" would have been better though:nod::lol:

Umm.....that's why I said sometimes.
I like the folks on this forum. This forum attracts all different people, some are overweight and trying to get information and support from those who've already made their journey. I just want them to know they are respected, encouraged, and wanted here. We're here to help each other, or we wouldn't be on this kind of a forum. Or we'd all exclusively join sites where everyone is already in shape. Right? :)

Such a great point about this forum. I certainly wouldn't be checking it everyday if it were only 225-250# ripped guys who naturally have the right genetics, how would I relate, I have only "wrong" genetics ;-). I have to blindfold myself when I walk by my olympic bar or I lose weight!!! There are the "me"s of the world who take a 7 day layoff followed by 4 of a cold, eat like a horse the entire time and LOSE 5 pounds :( (yep just happened, I took the sledge to my scale ;-)). But I feel comfortable here and I'm sure people with opposite metabolism and goals feel exactly the same. Yet on top of that, there are some of the people who look at weights and gain and have a lifetime of immense expertise that I appreciate. Great mix, many points of views, many body types, great diversity.

... oh, and in appreciating your comment, I'm way off topic here ;-) so I'll toss in what I've been wanting to say on the real thread.

In my friends, I've found nothing but curiosity and interest stemming from my own lifestyle change and results. Part of that is that I don't have any artificially created environments like the office or party scene where I'm thrust in with people who aren't friends of depth.

More often than not, in my social life now (Well, "social life" is a bit of an exaggeration since I'm a hermit in the Olympic mountains raising my son ;-)), my non-fitness friends love talking weights and diet with me and some of them are planning changes as a result, one has even started, just calculated her first organized diet this morning after years of trying to unsuccessfully kill a few pounds. Others have started working out regularly. It works in reverse for me.

It's not like I don't remember what it was like in the office though, where you were a wet blanket if you didn't take that piece of cake or drop by such and such's office to get one of the candies they brought in. But those friends will fall away and real friends will always be encouraging about healthy changes. You wouldn't really call them friends if they weren't.

I'm just amazed how every friend ends up wanting to get in the act and then you feel good like you're a catalyst, inspiring them for their transformations. It actually creates a stronger friendship. It's a different point of view than the negativity that I'm sure many of you get. I think it's all in how you end up thrust in the circle of people you end up in.