So there I am about to ask her out, and then of course she walks away with someone else and then it’s “Bye, maybe we can study later!”

I used to think it was that the girls I were interested in just had bad taste in men. Well, to some degree that’s still true, but I’d still find all kinds of reasons why it wasn’t my fault. Blame it on idiotic ideas, blame it on society, blame the world. But it wont do them any honor or service to be out with a man who looks such a state. I woke up one day looked in a mirror and say 'what the hell am i doing to myself?'

I'm a young man and i want to present myself well. To perspective friends, employers, and girls.

People say that society is too superficial; I say BS. Beauty is on the inside? Well what's on the inside? High BP, High triglycerides, and not much muscle. I feel like yelling at every overweight person in a restaurant ordering greasy fried food "what the hell is wrong with you? Order a salad instead of the potato skins, get fish instead of the burger, and dont even dream of that rich desert."

Ive had some good sucess dropping about 25lbs with cardio but am still in old habits. I hate resistance training and have avoided it. I decided to put someone else in charge and take my life out of the hands of an idiot. Going to see a trainer in the moring, i told her i wanted a flogging. I need it.

Respect yourself.

haha go hard!

Now that's how you make an introduction. :tu: Apply that intensity to the gym, and I think you're all set.

If it's a physique transformation you're looking for, then you'll quickly learn to love resistance training.

Nice work on dropping the 25 lbs. :tucool:

A man ain't much without his muscle. Turning to resistance training is the best choice you can make if your goal is body recomposition.

:gl:

Yes well with girls, or birds as we call them over here, the truth is they are every bit as shallow as guys are when it comes to looks/physique etc., maybe even more so, I think some guys get suckered into believing that is not the case and that a sense of humour/personality will do the trick, what a cruel lie that is:D

So there I am about to ask her out, and then of course she walks away with someone else and then it’s “Bye, maybe we can study later!”

I used to think it was that the girls I were interested in just had bad taste in men. Well, to some degree that’s still true, but I’d still find all kinds of reasons why it wasn’t my fault. Blame it on idiotic ideas, blame it on society, blame the world. But it wont do them any honor or service to be out with a man who looks such a state. I woke up one day looked in a mirror and say 'what the hell am i doing to myself?'

I'm a young man and i want to present myself well. To perspective friends, employers, and girls.

People say that society is too superficial; I say BS. Beauty is on the inside? Well what's on the inside? High BP, High triglycerides, and not much muscle. I feel like yelling at every overweight person in a restaurant ordering greasy fried food "what the hell is wrong with you? Order a salad instead of the potato skins, get fish instead of the burger, and dont even dream of that rich desert."

Ive had some good sucess dropping about 25lbs with cardio but am still in old habits. I hate resistance training and have avoided it. I decided to put someone else in charge and take my life out of the hands of an idiot. Going to see a trainer in the moring, i told her i wanted a flogging. I need it.

Respect yourself.

Nice intro Max Payne!

Yeah I agree, I mean the saying "looks aren't everything, personality counts" does have 'some' truth but I think it really is both... its human nature to constantly analyze everyone around you...see who is attractive etc,

what's even more concerning (If I remember correctly) is that a woman will take up 30 seconds to decide if she is interested in you or not - and this is often through non-vocal means..... so they will be assessing you on your exterior...

if we are honest though, we all do it (Checking each other out)!

Yes well with girls, or birds as we call them over here, the truth is they are every bit as shallow as guys are when it comes to looks/physique etc., maybe even more so, I think some guys get suckered into believing that is not the case and that a sense of humour/personality will do the trick, what a cruel lie that is:D

i can honestly say that personality is far more attractive to me than looks... lol i can also say that most of my friends agree. But yes, physique does definaltly play a part.

Yeah, personality does matter. Read The Game and it all becomes clear. Different girls go for different personalities though, so that's what needs to be watched out for.

I used to think it was that the girls I were interested in just had bad taste in men.

I'm a young man and i want to present myself well. To perspective friends, employers, and girls.

Ive had some good sucess dropping about 25lbs with cardio but am still in old habits. I hate resistance training and have avoided it.

Going to see a trainer in the moring, i told her i wanted a flogging. I need it.

A: The girls do have bad taste in men. They complain about men all the time. They get better as they get older though.

B: Yes you do want to present yourself well.

C: Well stop avoiding resistance training. That is a training blunder.

D: Much as getting flogged is undeniably appealing, it is your consistency of application that has a lot more to do with your success.

Thanks everyone for your support!

i can honestly say that personality is far more attractive to me than looks... lol i can also say that most of my friends agree. But yes, physique does definaltly play a part.

Yes, but then think how much we can achieve if we have both good personalities and smashing bodies? :D

Yes, but then think how much we can achieve if we have both good personalities and smashing bodies? :D

agreed!

Its both - I think it can be wrong sometimes to tell people blatantly that all that matters is personality when trying to meet/date people...well yes that is what will make the relationship of course... but in order to gain attention or to be noticed from the crowd it does help if you have a good exterior - ( not trying to sound superficial ). :)

I wish I could say that I only care about personality but the truth is if I'm not physically attracted to a person nothing is ever going to make me seem them as more than a friend. While definitions of what is attractive might differ, for me it definitely includes being in shape physically.

I wish I could say that I only care about personality but the truth is if I'm not physically attracted to a person nothing is ever going to make me seem them as more than a friend. While definitions of what is attractive might differ, for me it definitely includes being in shape physically.

it's both:nod::D

i can honestly say that personality is far more attractive to me than looks... lol i can also say that most of my friends agree. But yes, physique does definaltly play a part.

It does depend on the female, for some it will probably be 95 percent looks and 5% personality that counts (that will be the women with the orange fake tans who look right through any guy who doesn't closely resemble a Hollywood hearthrob or top fitness model:D) others will maybe base attraction on 50 % looks and 50% personality.

I wish I could say that I only care about personality but the truth is if I'm not physically attracted to a person nothing is ever going to make me seem them as more than a friend. While definitions of what is attractive might differ, for me it definitely includes being in shape physically.

Truly spoken. And I don't understand why we should be embarrassed to admit this. It's tantamount to denying our nature and our genetic imperative.

My main reason for training is health reasons, but since I'm a bit picky with the women I also realized that I cannot set high standards if I don't live up to them myself. It's only fair. :)

There are plenty of big guys with tremendous game that score as much as a good looking guy with a great body.

Personality is huge - make her laugh, confidence, show her you're original, be different and set yourself apart. Appearance is almost always the initial attraction but without a doubt personality is important over the long term.

Time and age also change what appeals to us. For example -

I work with a very attractive woman. She is 30 now and I've known her for 5 years. The qualities she desires in a man has been interesting to watch over the years. When she was 25 she needed the hottest guy with the best abs and biggest arms.

Now she is dating a guy who is thin (not muscular) and very average looking. He has a good job, seems to really care about her and they have a good time together.

Being fit and eating healthy is important for our own well being, not just attracting a mate. Do it for yourself.

If a great body were a pre-requisite to mating, we would never have to worry about overpopulation. Clearly there is more to attraction, for both sexes.

That being said, a great body is never seen as a drawback in the mating game.

There are plenty of big guys with tremendous game that score as much as a good looking guy with a great body.

Personality is huge - make her laugh, confidence, show her you're original, be different and set yourself apart. Appearance is almost always the initial attraction but without a doubt personality is important over the long term.

Time and age also change what appeals to us. For example -

I work with a very attractive woman. She is 30 now and I've known her for 5 years. The qualities she desires in a man has been interesting to watch over the years. When she was 25 she needed the hottest guy with the best abs and biggest arms.

Now she is dating a guy who is thin (not muscular) and very average looking. He has a good job, seems to really care about her and they have a good time together.

Being fit and eating healthy is important for our own well being, not just attracting a mate. Do it for yourself.

A lot of really good points here - the bit about "Appearance is almost always the initial attraction but without a doubt personality" is a pretty big part in my opinion, getting that initial attraction is what really helps and it can be difficult if your not in shape - then after that initial interest like you said your personality will determine how far you get.

Maybe I'm just a bit too picky with my women - like another poster said, if I have standards then I need to also live up to the standard too, its only fair.

I think part of the reward of 'becoming attractive' through looking after yourself is technically benefiting you - it gives you much more confidence in life so in a way you are doing it for yourself... if that makes sense. :)

If a great body were a pre-requisite to mating, we would never have to worry about overpopulation. Clearly there is more to attraction, for both sexes.


Or people just settle with what they can get.

But I'm very much a cynic, so you might disagree. :)

Don't be afraid to hit the gym. You may find that you actually like it if you give it a try. Nothing beats the invincible feeling you get after a good, hard lift. The feeling of your muscles being pumped up is awesome.

At the same time, don't go into the gym and expect to lift heavy weights if your body is not used to it. The tendency for people new to weights is to try to lift what the people around them are lifting weight wise: This is only a recipe for injury and frustration. Lift light until you figure out what weights are good for you and you get your form down.

Cardio is good, but think of how much more you could do with both. Personally I don't like cardio so, when I lift, I do everything in a circuit. It keeps my heart rate up and gives me a good cardio/weight lifting workout. Currently I weight 6 pounds more than I did two years ago, but my pant are fitting so much better than they did two years ago. To me, that is in a true indicator that what I am doing is working (the scale and BMI charts are not my friends ;)).

Back to topic.
Don't train for anyone else but yourself.
Train because you want to push yourself, develop yourself mentally and physically.
Because you want to prove to yourself you can be consistent at something and ride the storm. Push through those days you say "I don't feel like it'.

But for yourself. Your own health. How it makes you feel.
Especially not to get girls. Impress your friends or employers.
Or think that once you have a better body it'll be easier to get girls.
Everyone's attractive, looks play a smaller issue than most people believe. As long as your being your 'best' self you can have anyone.
and forget that girl there's PLENTY more out there, it's just up to you to go and meet them.

That's a healthier mindset. Chose to adopt if you wish.

Good luck to you in transforming your body, sounds like your already on your way there.

Thanks a lot guys for the support, I really appreciate it!

The lifting definitely hasnt been the easiest thing ive ever done, and im begining to understand how to differentiate between soreness and genuine pain pushing on injury.

I have to echo what Mayan was saying.

Moreso than anything, train for yourself. The feeling having a good, physically capable body and being healthy instills in me is incomparable. When you work out it truly progresses you in more ways than one, you feel more alert and more confident, less stressed, feel like your capable of more, the list goes on..

Now having said that, it DOES help to have a goal and some motivation. For me, sometimes when I'm in the gym I find when I'm doing a difficult exercise an image of a girl I am interested in will come to mind. Then I push myself harder and work harder thinking about how good the results will be for me and what rewards could be obtained in the end. So if I am after a girl at the moment, I use that as motivation sometimes to really do it up in the gym, and I find it works wonders for me at times when things get tough.


Lastly, to touch on what most people were saying. Personality really is a humongous part of it all. I am quite a decent looking guy, and I get a good amount of looks and smiles from girls, problem is I am still young (21), and a good deal of my pre-20 years were spent smoking weed and doing nothing but hanging out with other dudes in dark basements, and, well, general loser shit. So my confidence and background don't have me throwing myself out there, but I'm trying and making good progress now that I've quit. Anyways, back to the subject, looks are hardly everything. I've seen rather large guys with very good looking girlfriends, because they are great guys and a lot of fun to be around. Usually the best looking guys with the best looking girlfriends are in less fun and fulfilling relationships (other than physically of course).

Just my observation but go for a balanced, well rounded character. And don't get too ripped either man! Seriously, I can't even name the amount of girls I know and friends tell me about that find a guy with to much muscle a major turn off. Once again - balance ;)

...Appearance is almost always the initial attraction but without a doubt personality is important over the long term...
Sums it up pretty well for me. :)

The importance of your physical appearance is tied closely to the good ol' "first impression" idea. We start to form an opinion of someone the minute we see them. Personality only comes into play after that point. (Unless you start off as pen pals or something like that, of course.)

Over the years I've found that a shallow person is never likely to get beyond that "first impression", unless it is to lower their opinion of someone. Put simply, they may develop a dislike for you after initially finding you appealing, but almost never will raise their opinion of someone they didn't care for at first glance - even if that person makes drastic positive changes in their life.

Wiser (read: deeper) people will make the adjustment to "upgrade" their opinion of someone once they really get to know them, but even then it is often a slow process. Ask yourself, how many serious relationships have you been in where you were "just friends" for years before you took things to the next level? Chances are, not many. That "initial attraction" factor is likely to play a big role in whether you even get a chance.