Hi, my dad isnegative to how I'm eating somewhat healthy ("somewhat" when comparing to the more extreme, restricting diets that people do on this forum). Generally, I am forced to eat white rice as a staple (I'm Asian) and all that I've asked him to do is make healthy meats and such because of my changed eating habits. So he asks me if chicken with curry is ok, and I say "Sure, as long as its low fat." Then he looks at me like I'm stupid or crazy and makes some curry... WITH HEAVY CREAM(the whole small box). That's 90 grams of fat, and not the good kind. I tell him that cream isn't healthy and I don't want to eat it. He then yells and says in an angry "Having cream and whatever once in a while isn't going to kill you." I tell him that I didn't say it was going to kill me, just that it's really unhealthy. He then again gets pissed by what I've said and says "fine then get some food yourself" in a tone that implies I'm a weird idiot on a crazy diet. Generally, this is the only thing he yells at me about, I'm a straight A student, have a lot of extracurricular activities (especially sports: football, soccer, and basketball). He's also yelled at me for cutting back on how much rice I eat, arguing that it's full of nutrients and is VERY healthy (which it is not). He also buys A LOT of bananas, assuming I'll eat them, but it's just so many and that many can actually be bad because of the sugar right? Well, my dad gets angry, says bananas are healthy and such, and just always yells at me when he sees all of these overripes bananas (which I tell him I won't eat before he even buys them. There are several other problems about this, like he took me to Taco Bell the other day, and told me that the food was healthy (obviously it isn't). Of course I have to get some of the junk off the menu, otherwise he'll get angry. The list goes on and on and on... so my question is, how do I fix this? I REALLY don't want to quit this "diet," but it ruining my relationship with my dad. I feel angry at him, and sometime I get really depressed. What should I do? Should I go back to eating junk to fix this problem or is there some other solution? Please give me advice.

Thanks.

I'm not sure how to solve the whole problem but here are a few things that came to mind while reading your post:

I wouldn't say that Heavy Cream is unhealthy. It can certainly be used in a diet to great success. Don't be afraid of having fat or even saturated fat in your diet. Of course, having an entire carton for one meal may be too much.

Bananas are fine. You said that you're not on an "extreme restrictive diet" but at the same time are worried about the sugar in bananas? If you're really that worried, tell him to buy fruit that's less calorie dense next time. Grapefruit, strawberries, etc. come to mind. Be discrete about it. Say you want some variety. I'm sure he's buying them more out of concern for you than anything else.

If you're not interested in his cooking than I suggest you learn to cook. I've been making my own meals since I was 16. My parents were pretty cool with it.

Which healthy foods DO you eat?

For instance: banananas are healthy. Confirmed. (http://whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=7)
Bananas are one of our best sources of potassium, an essential mineral for maintaining normal blood pressure and heart function. Since the average banana contains a whopping 467 mg of potassium and only 1 mg of sodium, a banana a day may help to prevent high blood pressure and protect against atherosclerosis.
Are there other foods in your diet that supply you with potassium and the other nutrients that occur in bananas?

Rice is healthy. Sure, if it's brown rice (http://whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=128). Can you buy brown rice?
Our food ranking system qualified brown rice as an excellent source of manganese, and a good source of the minerals selenium and magnesium.

If you arm yourself with the knowledge you need to defend your choices, I think your dad would be very receptive to your unique needs. But if you're eating mainly tuna, egg whites, and protein powder because you read on a bodybuilding website that it was good for building muscle, then I'd be concerned about you too. :)

Another issue is that it might just be really hard for him to specially cook what you request. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to suggest that you prepare your own meals if you are always complaining about what he serves.

Hi, my dad isnegative to how I'm eating somewhat healthy ("somewhat" when comparing to the more extreme, restricting diets that people do on this forum). Generally, I am forced to eat white rice as a staple (I'm Asian) and all that I've asked him to do is make healthy meats and such because of my changed eating habits. So he asks me if chicken with curry is ok, and I say "Sure, as long as its low fat." Then he looks at me like I'm stupid or crazy and makes some curry... WITH HEAVY CREAM(the whole small box). That's 90 grams of fat, and not the good kind. I tell him that cream isn't healthy and I don't want to eat it. He then yells and says in an angry "Having cream and whatever once in a while isn't going to kill you." I tell him that I didn't say it was going to kill me, just that it's really unhealthy. He then again gets pissed by what I've said and says "fine then get some food yourself" in a tone that implies I'm a weird idiot on a crazy diet. Generally, this is the only thing he yells at me about, I'm a straight A student, have a lot of extracurricular activities (especially sports: football, soccer, and basketball). He's also yelled at me for cutting back on how much rice I eat, arguing that it's full of nutrients and is VERY healthy (which it is not). He also buys A LOT of bananas, assuming I'll eat them, but it's just so many and that many can actually be bad because of the sugar right? Well, my dad gets angry, says bananas are healthy and such, and just always yells at me when he sees all of these overripes bananas (which I tell him I won't eat before he even buys them. There are several other problems about this, like he took me to Taco Bell the other day, and told me that the food was healthy (obviously it isn't). Of course I have to get some of the junk off the menu, otherwise he'll get angry. The list goes on and on and on... so my question is, how do I fix this? I REALLY don't want to quit this "diet," but it ruining my relationship with my dad. I feel angry at him, and sometime I get really depressed. What should I do? Should I go back to eating junk to fix this problem or is there some other solution? Please give me advice.

Thanks.

Cream is perfectly healthy. Eating saturated fat is perfectly healthy.

The only reason to avoid fatty foods is because of the high calories and that's only if you're trying to lose or maintain weight.

Also, natural unprocessed sugars found in fruits are okay to eat too, again in moderation.

It sounds like you're the one following an extreme restrictive diet.

I'm losing fat and I eat red meat, cheese, potatoes, pasta, fruit, milk, etc.

Strive for a balanced diet instead. The only things you should really avoid completely are man made trans fats / hydrogenated oils. It's probably also wise to reduce your consumption of polyunsaturated fats high in omega 6 like corn and soy.

Please note one thing here. This isn't about food. Food may seem to be the topic at hand, but put yourself in your dad's shoes for a moment. You are telling him that what he ate and the way he has come to think just isn't good enough. You are not rejecting his food, you are rejecting his advice, his council and his culture. You will have to find ways to communicate through this, but I can promise you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. EVERYONE goes through this...if not food, then music or clothes...hairstyles...the way you drive...the girls you date... movies you like or the books you read. This is just part of the growing process and the sooner you see that this really isn't about food, the sooner you will be able to have a meaningful conversation and get past it.

Do some cooking...that is an outstanding suggestion. Shop and prepare and clean up. Model the behavior you would like to see and teach him that healthy doesn't mean bad tasting. It will go a long way to demonstrating your maturity and ability to make sound decisions.

Mostly just remember what a cultural force food is and as fathers, we are trained to PROVIDE. It hurts to not feel like we can do that anymore. Be sensitive to it and make sure you tell the old man that he has taught you well.

Finally, just remember, this too shall pass.

I would suggest cooking a few meals for him.
When he cooks for you, try not to be critical. Instead of saying, dont use the heavy cream why dont you say, I wonder what this would be like with some reduced cream or coconut milk or (insert other stuff here).

Your dads probably getting hurt feelings from your critisicm of his food, and critiscising your diet is making him feel a bit better

I wouldn't say saturated fat is perfectly healthy. Saturated fat is fine in moderation and as long as you are taking in a good amount of healthy fats, Omega-3 in particular.

I wouldn't say saturated fat is perfectly healthy. Saturated fat is fine in moderation and as long as you are taking in a good amount of healthy fats, Omega-3 in particular.
I would. There's no evidence to my knowledge that indicates that moderate saturated fat intake is dangerous. Indeed, I believe some saturated fat intake is necessary for certain bodily functions (e.g. production of certain hormones).

Of course, saturated fats are only healthy in moderation, but everything is only healthy in moderation.

I would suggest that you should cook meals for yourself for the most part, and share one of your father's meals as a weekly "cheat meal". Tell him you'd like to do this because although you want to experiment with your own food choices, you also enjoy the experience of sharing your father's meals and traditions.

I would. There's no evidence to my knowledge that indicates that moderate saturated fat intake is dangerous. Indeed, I believe some saturated fat intake is necessary for certain bodily functions (e.g. production of certain hormones).

Of course, saturated fats are only healthy in moderation, but everything is only healthy in moderation.


As I said in my post and as you are repeating here, saturated fats are good in moderation. There is no evidence proving that in excess, they are not responsible for the heart conditions that they were originally blamed for either, just alot of studies from both camps, which change almost weekly. So to outright say they are perfectly healthy is not very responsible considering that the scientific community can't even seem to make up its mind. I think its important for everyone to consume their fats, saturated in particular, in balance, just like everything else.

As I said in my post and as you are repeating here, saturated fats are good in moderation. There is no evidence proving that in excess, they are not responsible for the heart conditions that they were originally blamed for either, just alot of studies from both camps, which change almost weekly.
My point was that you didn't say they were good. Your post sounded to me like you were saying that, at best, saturated fats are acceptable in moderation.

Everything is bad for you in excess. That's basically what the word means.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that there actually are studies indicating that saturated fats aren't necessarily unhealthy, even in fairly high amounts. For example, coconut oil has been shown in some studies to actually improve cholesterol. But I don't have any links handy, so take that with a grain of salt.

So to outright say they are perfectly healthy is not very responsible considering that the scientific community can't even seem to make up its mind.
It doesn't seem reasonable to claim that saturated fats aren't "perfectly healthy". This implies that some other fats are perfectly healthy, which is not true. If you consume enough olive oil, you'll start risking health problems. Anything can be consumed to excess, so there's no reason to single out saturated fats as not being "perfectly healthy". In the right amounts, olive oil is perfectly healthy. In the right amounts, saturated fats are, too.

I think its important for everyone to consume their fats, saturated in particular, in balance, just like everything else.
I'm pretty sure that's what I said.

We seem to be arguing semantics at this point.

I'm not going to turn this thread into any more of an argument than its already become. You are free to believe what you like as am I. Seems like you saw in my post only what you wanted to see, and not really much that I can say to change that. Anywho, back to the topic at hand.

As I said in my post and as you are repeating here, saturated fats are good in moderation. There is no evidence proving that in excess, they are not responsible for the heart conditions that they were originally blamed for either, just alot of studies from both camps, which change almost weekly. So to outright say they are perfectly healthy is not very responsible considering that the scientific community can't even seem to make up its mind. I think its important for everyone to consume their fats, saturated in particular, in balance, just like everything else.

I wonder why heart disease has increased as saturated fat intake has decreased.

There are plenty of studies that demonstrate this.

After the fat scare of the 70's and 80's, saturated fat intake went down and carbohydrate intake skyrocketed.

At the same time, heart disease went up and has continued to go up.

Saturated fat is not responsible for heart disease. If it were heart disease should be on the decline and should have been more prevalent in the past. My grandmother grew up eating eggs every day, drinking raw milk, consuming far, far, far more saturated fat than people today do. She's never had any heart problems of any kind.

The insane amount of omega six fatty acids people eat today is probably the leading cause of heart disease.

Like I said, I don't want to take over this thread, nor am I out to make enemies over this. However, I find it funny that there are people on this board that can make such a bold statement as "saturated fat is not responsible for heart disease". What are you basing this on? Studies you found on the internet? Are you a doctor? Do you have hard cold facts that prove this 100 percent? I really doubt it, since studies change constantly. And thats my point. Yes, I understand and fully agree that there are more factors involved in heart disease than just saturated fats. Coming from a family with a history of heart disease, I have seen heart attacks affect a variety of family members with different eating habits. But my point was never to vilify saturated fats entirely. Of course they are an important part of our physiology, but I just dont think its right or responsible to sell saturated fat without remembering some of its potentially harmful effects if consumed in excess. I think there is a dangerous habit these days of saying that saturated fats can do no evil and are perfectly fine, so go crazy and load up on that bacon, sausage and cheese. Saturated fats have their place, but I still think people can benefit from practicing moderation.

i eat more fat than i ever have any my cholesterol and BP is lower than ever.

go figure.

i eat more fat than i ever have any my cholesterol and BP is lower than ever.

go figure.
Because your body is healthy now. Your visceral fat is probably very low, and your overall body fat is low, too. Your cardio health is good. You should have low blood pressure and cholesterol.

I think if someone ate nothing but McDonalds, but always ate the right number of calories and followed a good exercise regimen, medical tests would generally indicate good health. I think eating the right amount is far more important than eating particular types of food.

Ok, I know brown rice is the good kind, but he said I was being ridiculous and theres no difference besides color.... then he said that by "dieting"(though I eat as much as I want until I'm full) I'm apparently stunting my growth. He said "Don't diet until you're 20, so you'll grow." I'm pretty sure it's not stunting my growth. He's even making fun of me behind my back to my relatives on the phone!! Also, the only thing "cultural" about what my family eats is rice. Just about everything else we eat with it is American - ribs, frozen dinner meats, chicken, steak, etc. I'm pretty sure he's not resenting me because I'm not eating "culturally." Also, yes I know fruits in moderation are good, but he gets so many I'd have to eat at least 4 a day to prevent all of them over- ripening. I mean, I love bananas, 1 or 2 a day is good, but I like other fruits too. He just keeps buying them for some reason, and no in his home country there were no bananas nor were they valued.

While I do agree that bananas are healthy, I don't think you need to eat them every day, especially not more than one. I also don't think it's your responsibility to eat them all just so that your Dad doesn't have to throw them out. If he starts throwing out 8 or 10 bananas every week, he'll eventually learn to stop buying them.

Having a lot of foods on your "do not eat" list will stunt your growth if you don't replace those calories with cleaner energy sources as per your body's requirements.

It sounds like your Dad doesn't have a very good understanding of what clean eating is all about. But telling him what you WON'T eat isn't very helpful. If you give him a list of what you WILL eat (and how you like it cooked), I think he'll be more confident that you are nourishing yourself properly.

It really sounds like you and your dad have a communication problem. I think both of you see the other as "wrong" and don't want to listen to what the other has to say. On something like bananas try to tell your dad you like to eat them and you know they are healthy but you just don't like to eat so many bananas. It might be best not to focus so much on food being unhealthy as your dad is insulted by that. I can certainly understand him being mad that you wouldn't eat his curry. I'd probably tell you to cook something for yourself then as well. Have you tried offering suggestions of things you or he can make rather than focusing on what you don't want? I can empathize with your dad as people who are super picky piss me off as well (not saying you are super picky but that is probably how you are being perceived).

Also, what are your goals in your eating healthy? Just to get a more balanced diet or more specific goals? If you aren't trying to loose weight than don't stress about excluding too many foods as long as you get enough healthy foods like fruits and veggies.

Basically I'd say try to approach your dad in a way that doesn't make him feel defensive and you may have better results. I can understand feeling defensive if your kid tells you the food he is giving his family is unhealthy so try to focus on better not bad. How would he feel if you cooked yourself some brown rice while the rest of the family has white? You don't have to emphasize the nutritional difference just that you prefer to eat it.

i eat more fat than i ever have any my cholesterol and BP is lower than ever.

go figure.


And I have cut the amount of high fat foods I have eaten in the past and my cholesterol and BP is lower than ever. Your results are not evidence that saturated fats dont have the potential to be harmful in excess and without a proper balance of omega 3. I think we can all agree that everything is good in moderation and that there are many factors that contribute to heart disease. Im just trying to make the point that claiming saturated fats are not capable of causing health problems in excess is not very responsible and purely conjecture. Yes, studies exists, but how many times have studies on a variety of health issues changed? Remember eggs and how they were once unhealthy and now they are fine? Anywho, the debate is interesting and I hope nobody is taking offence, as I can come on strong in my opinions.