Yesterday I was summoned to a hospital where my friend's wife was. She (along with my friend) had been battling alcoholism for quite some time. At one time, she was a competitive natural bodybuilder. I had been dealing with them and their family for a while, and was quite convinced they were on the road to recovery. I was wrong.

She requested to see me specifically. Asking for me. When I went there, I knew it was hopeless. The yellow palor, yellow in the whites of the eyes....she had cirrhosis. I gave her encouragement, hope, some laughs, and then she passed away later last night.

Shw was tough, but couldn't slay the beast. The disease. Now I will go through the myriad of emotions and second guessing. Did I do everything I could to help her? Was I a failure?

She was tough. I admired her and her life and accomplishments aside from alcohlism. Sometimes we are not as tough as we think. I'm really not impressed by the self-proclaimed "tough guys", because in the end we are all reduced to either crying out for help, or being scared beyond comprehension.

John spoke of priorities on his main page yesterday, and I totally agree. Take care of those who mean the most to you and never hesitate to say "I love you".

Thanks for listening.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I know you did everything in your power to help her.

Take care of those who mean the most to you and never hesitate to say "I love you".:nod:

Yesterday I was summoned to a hospital where my friend's wife was. She (along with my friend) had been battling alcoholism for quite some time. At one time, she was a competitive natural bodybuilder. I had been dealing with them and their family for a while, and was quite convinced they were on the road to recovery. I was wrong.

She requested to see me specifically. Asking for me. When I went there, I knew it was hopeless. The yellow palor, yellow in the whites of the eyes....she had cirrhosis. I gave her encouragement, hope, some laughs, and then she passed away later last night.

Shw was tough, but couldn't slay the beast. The disease. Now I will go through the myriad of emotions and second guessing. Did I do everything I could to help her? Was I a failure?

She was tough. I admired her and her life and accomplishments aside from alcoholism. Sometimes we are not as tough as we think. I'm really not impressed by the self-proclaimed "tough guys", because in the end we are all reduced to either crying out for help, or being scared beyond comprehension.

John spoke of priorities on his main page yesterday, and I totally agree. Take care of those who mean the most to you and never hesitate to say "I love you".

Thanks for listening.

Your story really touched me. I have always suspected that I had alcoholic tendencies that bordered on alcoholism. My family has a history of alcoholism and my father was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver from years of daily drinking. My mom sought help through AA and although she won the battle over alcohol she succumbed to and died from Multiple Sclerosis, another insidious disease. I have always had a tendency to binge drink or drink daily whenever I'm stressed. I have been participating in the SO challenge and have done better than I ever expected. There's a time and place for everything and lately I've been taking a hard look at my life to assess what my strengths and weaknesses are. Alcohol and stress are my biggest weaknesses and I'm working on minimizing both. Thanks again for sharing your story with me.

Mastover, your story about your friend who died from alchoholism reminds me painfully that there is someone in my family who is heading the same way....my dad is an alcoholic and can't get rid of it, he's already done countless therapies but always fell of the wagon afterwards, either after a few weeks or even a year or two. it's difficult to see someone you love destroying himself. he now has several physical ailments to deal with (mainly problems with his back from a time when he fell off a ladder) and they are hard on him psychologically which makes him turn to alchohol again...it's a vicious cycle. I still hope that one day he will be able to beat the self destructive streak in him - or probably I'm just not facing the reality. the story of your friend made me realise that I should not forget that my dad's addiction could end with the worst....it was a bit of an eye opener, thanks.

I think I'll give him a call right now to see how he's doing....

Mastover,
I PM'ed you recently thanking you for your efforts in motivating everyone on the Sober October challenge. I really feel for you in your loss. I know, from what I have seen here, that you must have done everything you could. You have obviously made it a mission in your life to help people recover from addiction, and because of that, I think you have probably saved many lives.

As someone who watched my father in his last days, your story is eerily familiar. I am very sorry for your loss, but know that you are doing amazing things to help people escape this demon.

Croz.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. You did everything you could. The fact that she requested to see you specifically shows that. Don't blame yourself. Sometimes all the help in the world is not enough. The beast is always there waiting for a chance.
My deepest condolences.
Pedro.

Major bummer, Mastover. But the best you can do is the best you can do, right? I'm certain she appreciated you immensely, but the battle was hers.

Powerful post.

Realizing this is a fitness website, sometimes it is all too easy to develop tunnel vision where strength is measured in pounds and dedication is measured in calories.

Yet strength is holding the hand of a dying friend. Strength is comforting someone in their last moments, even when you want to cry inside. Dedication is caring and reaching out to those around us, even though in the end every person we love we will lose. We will weep at their funerals or they will weep at ours.

Strength is making a difference. And that you have done, and that's why she asked for you. Take care of yourself, and stay strong.

I sat here for a little while trying to find the right words to express my condolences for your loss and also my thanks to you for your post, but I found it difficult to put something so important into words. So I will just keep it brief with two comments:

I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for your loss, for your friend's wife, and for your friend's loss.

Thank you. Thank you for posting this and for your suggestions to us about not hesitating and taking care of those we love. I very much agree with you.

I wish you the best during this time Mastover.

I'm sorry for both you and your friends loss. I'm sure you did everything YOU could, but you can only do so much for someone else, at some point they have to help themselves. You can lead a horse to water, you can encourage them to drink it, but they have to actually do the drinking.

I wish you and your friend the best in getting through this tough time.