I've been lurking on the forum for almost 2 months now, I’m finally taking the plunge into starting a journal...kind of nervous to start it (really don't know why) reading the journals of others have really motivated me in the past 3 weeks, so I thought my story and body may help someone like me someday

My Story: I have been overweight/chubby most of my life…but my weight wasn't too serious to me because my personality always made up for my body (attracting girls) only thing I didn’t like are my man-boobs...Fast forward…well I met the smartest, most beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman....you guys know the one, the one that you feel was placed on this earth to be with you for the rest of your life…she changed my whole life and the way I looked at the world, honestly she made me a better person...I gave my all to her 100% and even lost 35lbs because I knew she liked muscular, fit, athletic guys (which woman don’t, right) she was the perfect girl for me so I thought I would become the perfect guy for her….and then... we broke up or she broke up with me, after the break up I went into a deep depression....without her I felt my life was over, I felt lost...I’m self employed and after the break up my business went down hill as well, I was an emotional wreck...well she moved on without me, and did a real good job too, I started getting my life together slowly as well…and then…she told me in July that she is pregnant, new guy grrrrr :mad:...wow!!! a deeper depression, because now it was clear I had ZERO chance to get her back..NONE!!! 0 ***ahh man focus on the journal, focus**** lol lets continue

by the way she is my best friend and I talk to her everyday...which makes things hard....I love her and care about her and can't live my life without her in it....if I can't have her as my lover/wife i'll live with us being friends…I know what you’re thinking and yes I do repeat that to myself everyday lol

well I’m slowly crawling out of my depression by focusing on making my self better, thanks to John and everyone on this forum, especially everyone who has a journal, I do read through them daily...working out and my diet has been the only thing to take my mind off her and its bringing me back to reality....this will be the start of my 3rd week and already I’m seeing great improvements i can see my biceps forming i had none before, after lots of research I have a meal plan that I can live with 1900 to 2000 cal a day, I’m drinking a gallon of water and waking up at 4:45am each morning to go to the gym...which I love to do now…my ex thinks I have OCD lol, once I start something I can’t stop until I feel its complete, I become obsessed with things to the point it takes over my life, which is a good thing lol

My Body:
Age: 28
Height: 6'0
Weight: 200 (my scale is playing tricks on me, but this is the reading today)
Starting Weight 3 Weeks ago: 205 (my heaviest was 230)
BF%: 22 (the trainer at the gym checked it 3 days ago, but it’s the same # as 3 weeks ago, very odd)

My Goal: 6 months – transforming my body
1. LOSE MY MAN BOOBS!!!!
2. Trim down my gut, seeing signs of a six pack would be Great!!..A guy can dream right? lol
3. My goal is to reach 180-175 by March
4. Less than 12% BF by March
5. add muscle and definition to my arms, I’m a big guy but I have scrawny arms
6. Build up my back, I grew very fast as a youth and now i have disgusting stretch marks on my lower back, I Hate it...I know it won't go away but at least I will have a muscular back, which i can be proud of lol I know only makes sense to me...I always had lower back problems but it seems to be getting better I think the deadlifts helped

Work out Schedule: I'm using max-ot philosophy but customizing it a lil, I know I’m a newbie, but I watch videos every night on form, I make sure my form comes first, I will not go heavy if I don't have the perfect form needed

Pics: WARNING!!!!! Ladies and gents be prepared to see stretch marks and man-boobs...as u can see my body hasn't seen the sun in a very long time..i wear t-shirts all the time

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/6996/sept24frontsg4.jpg
http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/8398/sept24front2aa8.jpg
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/1612/sept24sidedx5.jpg
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/5632/sept24backtx4.jpg

Week 3- Tuesday- back/traps

Workout: today i met with my trainer (once a week) and we had an argument that had the whole weight room looking...so this is what happened, i went and he was with someone else so i told him i will start my workout and he can come when he was finished...so i started with traps, which i usually do last but i wanted to do my back exercises with him to get tips on my form

when he came over i was still on traps and he asked what is taking me so long to do this i told him i rest for 2-3 minutes between sets (max-ot, which i already explained to him 2 weeks ago)...well he started saying I'm working out like a body builder training for mr. olympia when i'm just a beginner :mad:, because of the weights on the barbell...which pissed me off cause he's talking loud for the whole room to hear and i'm proud to lift that much plus working my back is very important to me, so i attacked back...this went on for about 5-10min until another trainer came over, who also didn't understand the max-ot training stating 3 minute rests are for Pu$$ie$...smh!!!!...and i should do more reps and less rest between sets

well i saw i was talking to people stuck in their ways and i came there to workout not to act like a Hooligan which i'm trying to change about myself, I lose my temper very fast if i think someone is trying to act tougher than me or talk down to me, so i walked away and continued my workout, my trainer followed apologizing and tried to explain the way "I should workout"...also said i shouldn't do deadlifts for back, and barbell rows i should do with dumbbells .... so he said lets go through his workout and see if i can handle it, which i did pretty easy felt like i could have done more, higher weights...but the lack of rest in between sets and the increased reps made my arms weak, and tired...needless to say i'm canceling my personal training

not the workout i had planned
Barbell shrugs:went up in weights.. from 110 last week to 125lb 3x6x125 felt like i could have went up more, but the argument took me out of it

v-bar pull down: 1x12x50 , 1x12x60, 1x12x70

back extension: 4x10

dumbbell back rows: 4x12x20

Meal: yesterday went well...1913 cal...232 protein x 203 carbs x 38 fat

Weds-shoulders/triceps

Life/Thoughts:
today went well i moved up on most of my exercises, but when i left the gym i had a weird feeling i could do more, but i went to failure on each set...before i would have went back but i did that the first week and ended up with serious lower back pain, live and learn...since i started my diet my IBS has been ok, but today it is so bad its hard to leave the house, been going to the bathroom about every hour and a half, i think it was the chicken from my dinner last night, maybe too much seasoning, I was busy and didn't go shopping yesterday now i don't have any fruits, milk, or cereal in the house, if my stomach feel better later i will go to the supermarket later tonight

Workout:
Seated Dumbbell pres 3x6x30
Military Barbell Press (In front) 1x5x65 1x4x65 1x5x65
Side Lateral Dumbbell Raises 3x6x25
Lying Tricep Extensions (skull crushers) 3x6x15 -i was stuck on 10lb the last 2 weeks so i'm happy with 15lbs lol
Cable Push-downs 3x6x110 - last set took everything i had
1 Arm Dumbbell Overhead Extension 3x6x15 i cant get pass 15lb :( i'm very disappointed

In your first post ~ your "whiteness" comment got me :P You could live in a cave for a year and still be darker than me, so don't worry about color or stretch marks or arrogant trainers ;) Do what you know will work for you. And when starting out, just doing anything will get results.

Way to go with those trainers, screw them. You are doing something, and that alone will bring you results right now. So just keep doing that something, just anything, until you stop getting results. THEN get concerned over the "hows and whys".

I'm not on a true "routine" yet, I'm just lifting and dieting right now ~ and will continue until I stop seeing results ;)

thanks double, your comments really mean a lot to me

i have been in a weird depressive slump the last 2 days, started when i weighed in and my body fat was still 22% and i didn't lose any weight this week :-( ....i missed a few meals yesterday and today, which i know is the wrong thing to do...so i went out tonight and bought chicken and shrimp and i cooked enough to last me the next 3 days..so i have no reason not to stick to my plan i also stopped off at gnc and bought l-glutamine and creatine...i have been seeing a major gain in strength this week...so thought i would add those 2 supplements

i felt i needed to post tonight to get my self back on track, this is my first slip in 3 weeks and i just want to stop it before it continues

also i feel a weird pain in my side, i usually feel it when i'm stressed, it went away but its really hurting now, the good news is i just received my health insurance today :-) after applying 4 months ago...so i finally can go to a doctor to have it checked out, i will have a full physical done as well

Well tomorrow is a new day and i will eat the right foods and workout hard!!!

It's good that you keep trying despite little setbacks here and there. Consistency and perseverance are really the true keys to getting in shape.

Also if you are going to buy supplements and don't mind waiting a few days, a good tip is to buy them online from a site like www.dpsnutrition.com, www.atlargenutrition.com, or www.bulknutrition.com. The prices online are almost always much much cheaper than a brick and mortar store like GNC.

Oh yeah, we have about equal amounts of weight to lose and I was wondering if you want to have some type of thing where we check in on one another every so often to see how we're doing.

thanks for the information and helpful words shake, that sounds good, i will start posting more often now

i will use those sites from now on, the guy at gnc was shocked when i told him i mix creatine,whey and glutamine into one shake, why would i mix 3 separate shakes 120z each smh!!

Workout: my workout has been going well,i've noticed a big jump in strength this week (i don't think its the creatine) this is my 5th week and i've been hitting the weights hard...moving up real heavy and pushing myself, i'm in pain right now but it feels good lol

Deit: i must say i'm not drinking as much water as i should, i need to buy a filter because i'm starting to dislike the taste of the tap water, i'm still close to a gallon a day...eating wise i'm sticking to my plan, i've cut out bread completely and milk and started eating dry cereal more like a snack while i work in the morning

daily updates from now on

Week 6

Wednesday Oct. 17th

Workout: legs
squats: 4x10x50lb i'm still working on my form
leg press: 3x6x200lb (6 warm up sets) i went up 40lbs
leg extension: 3x6x70lbs
standing calf raise: 3x6x140lb

Life: i bought a food scale and found out my calculations were off, i'm eating way too much..could be the reason i'm not losing any weight, hopefully i will start hiit this evening, my ibs is a real problem today, i found out its the sweet potato that is causing it..its a 20min drive to the gym then 20min workout and 20min back...i don't know if i can be outside that long without having to use the bathroom..we'll see

Thursday Oct. 18th

workout: chest
Flat bench barbell press: 3x6x95 (6 warm up sets)
Incline barbell press: 2x6x75lb
Dips: 3x8x65% body weight

Life: I injured my right shoulder this morning, completely my stupidity, on my 2nd set of FBBBP i knew i reached failure at my 5th rep...i paused and told my self one more rep!!!!!...i was too aggressive and pushed for a 6th rep, when i came down i felt a pain in my right shoulder and couldn't go back up (good thing i use the smith machine)

i did 1 more set failing at 5 again, then moved on to incline press, i didn't feel like i could start my 3rd set...so i backed off, i did dips after that because i wanted to try it out soooo bad...well i have bi's and tri's tomorrow, hopefully my shoulder feels better , i will take the weekend off that should give it time to heal **crosses fingers**


Thin line between being intense and stupid, i crossed the line

Friday Oct. 19th
workout: biceps, triceps

barbell curls: 4x6x20lbs

alternating dumbell curls: 3x6x40lbs (6 warm up sets)

pulldowns: 3x5x120 (6 warmup sets)

1arm standing tricep extenxion: 3x6x15lb


Life: Really good workout even tho my right shoulder was killing me.... for the past 5 weeks i have been using the pre-set barbells and i was up to 70lbs on the curls, i never knew that it was so off, this week i went ahead and used a bar from the bench press rack and wow!!! i was only able to put 20lbs on it, but it felt AMAZING!!!!...i was only suppose to do 3 sets but i did a fourth after it was over i felt like i could lift a person lol...the pump was crazy i can't wait until next week..i struggled and pushed my self to 6 reps each set but i enjoyed every moment

I notice my intensity has gone way up the last 2 weeks, feel like i've been cheating my self the first month, but it was a learning experience

tomorrow i have my doctors appt. having a physical and to find out what the hell is this pain i'm feeling in my side...saw ex today, was depressed for a few hours after...but i'm ok now

Week 7

Monday
Workout: Back/Forearms
Pull-ups: 5x10x 50% body weight total 50
v-bar pull downs- 3x6x130 lb
bent-over rows chest support machine: 3x6x60lb
seated wrist curls: 3x6x60lb
standing dumbbell curls: 3x6x30lb


Life: after i completed my back workout i started seeing blue bright lights out of my right eye....this usually means a migraine is coming..i completed my forearm workout really not being able to see out my right eye...i then went to pick up my ex to take her to work...which turned into a very bad ride because i had the worse headache of my life...i became upset at her for touching me (i'm weird i don't like to be touched, especially when i feel the person is feeling sorry for me)

came home and took a vicoden and slept for 4 hrs, its feeling better now, i called and apologized to her, she completely understood the situation since she knows i have bad migraines off and on...she was more upset at me not letting her "in"....i have my doc appt in a few hrs i will try to get more pills

Tuesday
workout: shoulders/traps
military press: 3x5x90lbs (6 warmup sets)
seated dumbbell press: 3x6x30lb
side lateral raise: 3x6x25lb
barbell shrugs: 3x6x130

Life: i injured my neck today while performing the military press, it feels like when i sleep bad and it hurts for a few days, it hurts when i turn to the left...i notice i tighten my neck a lot and make up dumb faces i think that's why i strained my neck, after it happened i tried to control it by relaxing my head/face while lifting

I went to the doctor last night and i need to have a colonosctopy, i had one before 7 yrs ago, back then i was awake through the procedure but this time i will be asleep..but i still fear it:rolleyes:...it took me a while to get the last one out my head, a real bad experience...but i guess the good thing is that i will be asleep this time hhmmm

Wednesday
workout: Legs/Calves
leg press: 3x6x230lb
squats: 4x6x80lbs
leg curls: 3x6x50lbs
standing calf raise: 3x6x140lbs

Life: good workout today..i'm starting to love leg days, after dreading it for so long...i went to the orthodontist today and he had a new receptionist, real sexy, about 5'8, tan in real good shape, beautiful...we spoke for a while before i went in to see the doc, i didnt realize until i went in that she was flirting...i haven't spoken to a girl since my break up so my radar is real off...when i came back out i sparked up the conversation again, and wound up with her phone #:D...BUT i don't think i'm going to call her, i'm still deeply in love with my best friend, even tho shes with a new guy and 17 wks pregnant lol...i'm not emotionally ready for someone new...but this girl is amazing beauty and a nice personality :blank:..time will tell

Thursday
missed my first workout!!

Life: i had to go in for blood work today, so i missed my early morning workout, then i was real busy with work and family

Friday
workout: biceps/triceps
alternating dumbbell curls: 3x6x40lb (6 warm up sets)
barbell curls: 3x6x30lb
cable push-downs straight bar: 3x6x120lb (6 warmup sets)
skull crushers: 3x6x15lbs
overhead extension: 3x6x15lbs

Life: i love barbell curls since i've been using the bench press bar...it feels so much better and more intense....i can't get pass 15lbs on my overhead tri extensions i can move on to 25 with my right hand but my left is stuck on 15, i read on the forum to not move on until both arms can handle the same weight, i'm real disappointed at lefty he's holding us back lol

i'm driving to my nieces birthday this weekend, cheat mealS...next week is my week off and i really need it

Rock on! Solid plan you got in action right there. Might want to cut back on weights if you're hurting yourself. Seems upper body is always what fails us, eh? I been having some issues with my left shoulder and elbow. You remind me, I gotta do more military presses! That's an excellent compound.

Getting ladies number is always a confidence booster :tucool: I'd have called her :doh: Why is the one further from reach always so much more appealing?

BTW - nice with the posting of your routines. I record mine, I should get in the habit of posting them. It's cool :tu:

In my experience, working out always really helped me in getting over girl problems. Something about working your butt off physically just helps relieving that severe mental stress.

Week 8 - week off from weight training
Tuesday

Life:
Getting ladies number is always a confidence booster I'd have called her Why is the one further from reach always so much more appealing?

BTW - nice with the posting of your routines. I record mine, I should get in the habit of posting them. It's cool

i know double, i should call, but something is holding me back, plus if i don't call next time i see her it will be awkward..still deciding

In my experience, working out always really helped me in getting over girl problems. Something about working your butt off physically just helps relieving that severe mental stress.

you're sooo right Ryan, working out has really helped, not only with getting out of my depression over her, but also with work, which is starting to take off again

i bought a full length mirror yesterday and attached it to my bathroom door...reason being i noticed that i really don't pay enough attention to my body, i rarely look at myself (which may sound odd) but i guess i never really liked what i saw so i avoided it... so i decided i would look at my body each morning and get to know it and love it...i started today flexing the little muscles i do have lol...also noticed i need to shave i have real hairy legs and i'm starting to notice my quads, can't have hair covering it after i work so hard squating lol

Just stopping in to see what's happenin with Hooligan!

I'll shave my chest, eventually... MAAAAYBE [trim] my pits... But ain't nobody gonna git me to shave anything else. Nuh uh.

Definitely get to know your body. You'll begin to see the subtle changes, little shadows of new definition here and there, and you'll SEE your own progress! Huge motivator. Once you get goin, though, make sure you don't wind up vain :p