People often discuss how their gym routines etc have helped them to score "chicks" etc. But this thread is not about that.

Have any of you felt that your diet schedules/workout routines have affected your social lives? Things like not wanting to go out since you would be missing a couple of scheduled meals or your planned cardio/weight training? Also instances like people looking at you weird when you refuse to eat at restaurants or refuse to grab a beer or chips etc? Isnt it ironical that although the society appreciates the changes in you they don't accept what it takes to bring about those changes???

I notice it for sure. I have a lot of 'friends' that don't come around anymore because they only want to get together to get drunk. I'm not drinking so they don't want to hook up.

Heck, even my brother is avoiding me. We used to get together all the time. Take away the boozing and I guess we have nothing in common.

Makes me mad, but there's nothing I can do about it.

That brother stuff is harsh!

I'm glad to say it's helped me with me and my bro, he plays footy with me when we need more players.

I have th eproblems when mates don't understand I just don't wanna drink or go for junk meals often but it's the price I pay for trying to be healthy.

This kind of problem occur with everyone. But it cannot be avoided. You have to select between the two. If you need to get in shape some constraints are to be followed.

But it feels much better when your physique and health improves. I also faced similar problems but my health was more important for me. So now I have made new friends like me.

I try to balance the two. When I catch myself being too much of a shut-in, I know it's time to relax and go out and live life. It's a lot easier to find that balance when you've reached a goal or a good place where you're comfortable maintaining. It's when you're not there yet that you often have to turn down social activities to keep the progress rolling.

^ I agree, but I am willing to go out. I just don't want to get smashed. The drunker the people get, the more they start with the comments about why I have no life now because I don't want to drink.

I will admit that being sober around a bunch of drunk people is awful. The more drinks, the less the IQ. It's about as fun as witting around talking about the tread wear on your tires.

I went through the same crap when I had my boy. The friends without kids couldn't see why I had to be responsible.

Any life change will come with challenges. My wife supports me and that's all I care about. If someone doesn't like what I'm doing, they can go do what they want without me.

Anyone want to be my friend? :eek:

I try to balance the two. When I catch myself being too much of a shut-in, I know it's time to relax and go out and live life. It's a lot easier to find that balance when you've reached a goal or a good place where you're comfortable maintaining. It's when you're not there yet that you often have to turn down social activities to keep the progress rolling.
i see...that makes sense. this is my first ever real try at getting fit (with documented diet/workouts etc). you are probably right..once i reach a goal, ill be more relaxed during the bulking, maintenance until the next cutting cycle. the issue is that since the last few weeks ive been getting remarks like..'relax dude', 'chillout', 'you dont have to work that hard to get laid' etc etc and now many of my friends think I'm getting a bit 'weird' or overdoing it

the issue is that since the last few weeks ive been getting remarks like..'relax dude', 'chillout', 'you dont have to work that hard to get laid' etc etc and now many of my friends think I'm getting a bit 'weird' or overdoing it

Well yeah, that's a bit different, and something you're going to have to come to grips with. On the one hand, you don't want to wring every ounce of fun out of your life just to get fit. On the other hand, what you're talking about here, are the people that consciously or unconsciously disparage your efforts to do something different. That's the kind of stuff you have to soldier through. When it's time to let your hair down, it should be because you want and need it and feel you deserve it, not because someone else is trying to persuade you to drop the ball.

Ah, so I'm not the only one who goes through this eh? Well yeh since its my first real effort so I have just started facing it. I have worked out for 8-9 months before this cycle but it wasn't that serious. I didnt have like a set diet...just tried to eat as healthy as possible and lift. If I missed a workout or ate junk at times it was no biggie.

Oh yeah and that brother thing reminds me of the remarks from my mom, who rebukes me for taking it too far. She has even told me that the "ripped" guys look like poor starving and malnutritioned people in famine-torn nations. She thinks its disgusting.

I noticed that my circle of friends has decreased substantially in the last year or so since I started to also limit my alcohol intake and hence not go out as often - it's indeed not fun to be around drunk people. I had to start making choices and realised that I only want to spend my valuable time with people I really care about. Since I go the the gym on four evenings after work (plus once at the weekends) I had no other option. People - colleagues at work mostly - have been making stupid remarks about my eating habits and frequent workouts for a long time and yet give me compliments about my looks - who's schizophrenic here?! :rolleyes:

Ultimately I noticed that the friends I still have and I CHOOSE to have in my life are the ones who understand how important my gym (and all that comes with it) is to me and they tend not to comment on it anymore.

The boozing thing isn't because it's all you had in common, it's because now that you aren't partaking, it points out their inadequacies, how you are winning and they aren't, etc. They are avoiding you because they are ashamed that you are doing what it takes and they just want to drink.

They would still love to hang out, I'm sure, if they didn't feel like such losers afterwards.

-Allen

People often discuss how their gym routines etc have helped them to score "chicks" etc. But this thread is not about that.

Have any of you felt that your diet schedules/workout routines have affected your social lives? Things like not wanting to go out since you would be missing a couple of scheduled meals or your planned cardio/weight training? Also instances like people looking at you weird when you refuse to eat at restaurants or refuse to grab a beer or chips etc? Isnt it ironical that although the society appreciates the changes in you they don't accept what it takes to bring about those changes??? I used to think that way and then realized life is too short. Also, that way of thinking can become fairly unhealthy in it's own right (imo). I think you can have both the healthy lifestyle and social interaction. It's a matter of sticking to your guns. I still go out with my friends for drinks, they have no problem with me having diet cola or water while they enjoy a drink. Mind you, they're not immature either. I rarely go out to eat, so that when I do, I don't get hung up over it. I don't have any particular timeline on life so that the next day, I pick up with my regular meals right where I left off. The thing to do is not over-complicate life.

KISS.

I still allow myself to eat out.....and I usually eat a lot.

Yet, I am still making progress. Sure it messes up everything for a couple days....but I do a little more cardio and I'm right back on track.

I just know that I already have more confidence BECAUSE of the weight I have lost.....so a few sacrifices are worth it.

I used to think that way and then realized life is too short. Also, that way of thinking can become fairly unhealthy in it's own right (imo). I think you can have both the healthy lifestyle and social interaction. It's a matter of sticking to your guns. I still go out with my friends for drinks, they have no problem with me having diet cola or water while they enjoy a drink. Mind you, they're not immature either. I rarely go out to eat, so that when I do, I don't get hung up over it. I don't have any particular timeline on life so that the next day, I pick up with my regular meals right where I left off. The thing to do is not over-complicate life.

KISS.

Great post.

I allow myself a few drinks here and there....as long as you keep making progress/maintain your weight, whats the worry?

I enjoy going out, and I enjoy drinking and it's damn tough to avoid in University.

Thankfully this year I'll have studying and work to Distract me, leaving very few opportunities for me to go drink.

FItness hasn't cut me off completely, I am cutting now and because I don't like to take cheat meals during the week I will instead go out once in a while. Like someone said about it's just about sticking to your goals and getting it done. There's nothing wrong with going out, having a few beers, or even getting plastered once in a while. You just have to realize that it's a once in a while thing, almost like a reward for sticking to it so well prior to.

Socially I love it, more people than I can count keep telling me "Colin you've lost weight haven't you?" "Colin you look good, have you been losing weight". I haven't lost much but it's definitely enough to notice, so I guess socially I notice I am getting more "looks", and even my confidence has gone way up.

I am sure once school starts, friends come back and boozing starts again I'll notice a bit of a shit, fewer calls to go out but that's fine with me, fewer temptations I suppose.

Sometimes it's a case of others trying to punk you for being a no-fun nerd. They are always trying to get you to skip the gym for beers and cards. Other times it's a case of the life-changer being on a high horse and not wanting to stop thinking about the good things going on in his life and let loose with friends.

If you haven't seen your buddies in two months don't go to TGIFs and try to get a soy burgers with and a side of mash made without butter and skim milk. When visiting with buddies they want to see you give a bit up for old time sake and no sense in going if your not really there. Drink up.

I've yet to see any negative effects on my social life as a result of lifting. All my friends used to be lean and muscular, and I was the fat one. Now that they've all put on weight and I'm leaner than I've ever been, things aren't much different than they used to be other than who's carrying the fat in the group :)

I seem to have found a healthy balance of work, family, fitness and social life. My friends have no problem with me not drinking, as they now have a designated driver. :lol:

Sometimes the meal thing can be a little difficult, as my friends like to eat out often, but I've yet to find a restaurant that can't "clean up" a meal for me. I'm confident in what I'm doing, so comments from others just wash over me. The results speak for themselves.

As for cutting into my social time, I feel friends are hugely important, so I cut out other things. I probably spend less time watching tv and shopping than any of my friends. I have no clue who's on Survivor or Idol, I'd rather be lifting while my friends catch up on their shows. While they're at the mall, I'm at the gym. It all works out in the end.

I suspect the only "rough patch" was when I was starting out and was so gung-ho that diet and training was all I could talk about - I probably drove them crazy. :lol:

It's even harder when you have a girlfriend who has little interest in eating right (because she doesn't have to.) I always have junkfood in the house, the stuff she likes, staring me down and trying to repress my determination.

The hardest thing I've come across so far are the late-night hangouts where everyone wants to hit up a Wendy's drivethru. It's very hard to say "I'll just get a diet coke, I'm really not that hungry" when the sweet, tempting smells of beef and fries bathed in fat bring back euphoric feelings of memories past. All this while in reality I'm starving my ass off and the thought alone of eating another raw tuna on wheat sandwich makes me wanna jump out of the car while driving alongside an alligator-infested lake. This is when you find out how bad you really want it.

In the first 2 and a half months of my weight loss I only had 1 cheat meal (4th of july), and even refused to eat cake on my birthday. I took the slice and threw it in the garbage when nobody was looking :tucool:

I've learned that it's good to indulge once a week, otherwise you'll have to learn a lot about managing your sanity.

You get to have sammiches? :cry:

I had no life before and no life after! But at least I'm a sexy bitch now :D

Akm has it right. If after explaining why you are doing what you are, and how important it is to you.. and your friends still make comments and want you to drink, then they are not really interested in you, only about themselves having a good time.

Also, the more you show willpower and a desire to make a positive change in your life, the more it highlights for them how crap they are with their health and direction in life. This makes them feel bad when they see you doing well, so unconsciously (or consciously for some people) they will try to sabotage your efforts so they don't feel bad about themselves. They know they can do better and you are showing them they can. True friends wouldn't sabotage you though, because they would care about you and not themselves.

yeah the best advice i can give is just to work around it. as apart of your health going out and enjoying yourself is important you dont want to miss out on anything in life...just dont miss your workouts all the time:tu:

I stopped drinking completely 5yrs ago and wouldn’t you know all my drinking buddies have vanished. Amazing how you find out who your true friends really are!

I have made new and better friends in the gym, as the old saying goes, “everything happens for a reason.”