Hey everyone, I been reading this sociology report about ppl's behavior with each other and it got me thinking...Has anyone (or known anyone) being treated differently AFTER your transformation. Be it with the opposite sex, coworkers, friends, family or random strangers. Whether you were underweight or overweight, I'm just curious on whether you noticed the world treating you any different after your transformation. If so, how?

Hey everyone, I been reading this sociology report about ppl's behavior with each other and it got me thinking...Has anyone (or known anyone) being treated differently AFTER your transformation. Be it with the opposite sex, coworkers, friends, family or random strangers. Whether you were underweight or overweight, I'm just curious on whether you noticed the world treating you any different after your transformation. If so, how?

People treat me almost exactly the same except when a lot of fat came off at first, during that time I got a lot of compliments.

The novelty wears off. But the health benefits last a lot longer.

Some people do treat me differently. Not people I care about but fringe people.

No idea about random strangers because those people are strange :lol:

People treat me differently, but I think that's almost completely due to the different way I've been presenting myself.

I get smiled at more frequently, and sometimes get better service, but that's because I make eye contact more often, and I don't look so tired and cranky anymore.

I haven't noticed any difference in the way my immediate family treats me. My extended family is a little bit more suspicious of me when we go out together for meals, because I think they're worried about me judging their food choices. :o I was especially bad for that when I was at my lowest weight, but I've calmed down at least a little bit now.

Since I lost weight and got into shape, more women seem to want to be around me. And that means that more men seem to want to be around me too, since that's where the women are.

Family: exactly the same
Close friends: Exactly the same

Theres this girl at work that i used to fancy last summer but she turned me down... guess what, last weekend she asked me out, and i turned her down :p and felt good, im still the same person, if i wasnt good enough before im not good enough now, im still the same guy ;)

I wonder what type of response this thread would receive if posted in the Female Fitness section. I would think women would be treated much more differently than men after transformation.

I wonder what type of response this thread would receive if posted in the Female Fitness section. I would think women would be treated much more differently than men after transformation.

Well we already have a response from one of the women here. It's not like the women only read the Female Fitness section.

I would think women would be treated much more differently than men after transformation.

Because....???

I haven't noticed any different treatment. But in my opinion, in the grand scheme of things, my appearance isn't all that different (though I am still a work in progress). So far, I've gone from 133 to about 170. At 5'11" that really isn't a massive difference in appearance unless you are looking at before and after pictures side by side. I still look a little thin and since I'm still in a bulk phase, I'm a bit soft-ish and rounded (i.e. not a chiseled beast like some others on here :D And I mean chiseled beast in a good way!).

Unfortunately, girls don't talk to me any more often than they did before ;) Which was 'not at all'. :lol:

Because....???

Because women, much more so than men are often judged by their appearance and treated accordingly. Its unfortunate, but I really do think its true. Maybe its due to my being born, raised and still live in ultra-superficial Los Angeles where appearance is sooooo important to most people here. I hope Im not sounding sexist or chauvanistic but unfortunately from what Ive seen and see on tv, magazines, hollywood, even here it seems true.

Since I lost weight and got into shape, more women seem to want to be around me. And that means that more men seem to want to be around me too, since that's where the women are.
lol, classic Philly ;)

i have more looks from women now that i have some muscles showing but still long way to go

if ppl treat you different it might have more to do with your confidence..
a confident person just naturally demands more respect

if ppl treat you different it might have more to do with your confidence..
a confident person just naturally demands more respect
True.

The biggest difference I've ever had in how people treat me has usually come when I dress nicely and wear makeup. But I now think part of that has more to do with my attitude, really. When I dress nicely, I tend to already be in a more outgoing mood and more sociable anyway. I get helped more in stores when I'm in a friendly mood, even when I don't want help.:lol:

For some reason, more men flirted with me when I was fatter.:confused: That could just be because I was younger.;)

Friends and family don't really notice the difference in my size. I was never drastically overweight, and the only people who really noticed the change didn't see me so frequently.

Of the overweight people I know, it seems the ones who are not depressed or are very sociable have no trouble creating good impressions.

Without question people treat me differently. I get much more attention from females which is great!! People also take me much more seriously when I tell them something. Until I recently changed jobs, my bosses did not like what I had become. Kind of like I had betrayed some wierd fraternity of fat guys or something. I think they felt like they had lost the power of control over me.

if ppl treat you different it might have more to do with your confidence..
a confident person just naturally demands more respect

There is without question that confidence commands respect. And it can be said that most of confidence comes from how your feeling about yourself...And when I say yourself, in most cases it deals with how you look physically ..However my question was more directed towards how the world treats you compared to how you looked (overweight/underweight) to how you are now (after transformation).

In my case, I am overweight now, but physically fit about a year ago and I noticed a HUGE change in how the world treats me. For instance when I was in shape, I often got complimentary or discounted things from female waitresses or cashiers. Now, I am either ignored or treated rudely. Over the years I had many job interviews which I aced them all, now I feel the interviewers treat me like a sick patient. Perhaps the biggest difference is how I no longer get party invitations as I used to. It's a cold world for the out of the shape. WE all seen lonely overweight guys but hardly a muscular guy without friends. So I wonder if being physically fit automatically commands respect from people and better opportunities.

I get a lot more looks and women in general are more receptive to my comments.

I get comments from people about being buff which I don't care for. I workout to stay in shape and not to be buff. I have noticed more people look at me than before, whats the big deal?

Speaking of being treated differently, I just got a load of John's update way back in the 2004 or 2005 period...A group of teenage girls in a car flirting with John asking him if he wanted kids...always a good motivator

Great topic!

Reason i decided to "bulk" is because I am skinny, and i was hoping that I would be treated by females a bit differently.

I was walking down around the street with nightclubs, tried talking to these three women. Two told me I looked like i was 12 years old- It really hurt. The one I was trying to talk to was still really nice, though :)

I'll be happy to write back in a year and a half :)

I do think I get more attention from guys now that I'm leaner, but like others have pointed out this may have to do with the fact that being leaner makes me more self-confident (though I'm not sure about that). What's funny is that I've always been an introvert. Combined with the fact that I was (let's face it) overweight, this led to me having almost no opportunities to practice flirting (add in a really bad experience I had with a man and I really became a recluse in the romance department). Even though I'm happier with my body and more self-confident now, I don't know how to respond when guys are trying to flirt with me. I'm still an introvert, really, and being outgoing and flirtatious is difficult for me. I'm sure I must come across as not interested, or stuck-up, but I'm just really insecure in that department.

Before I go sort of off topic, I'll say that I wouldn't know most flirting if it hit me in the face. I can never tell when a female is just "being nice" or is doing her "subtle" thing. You know, where they're being so subtle and you're supposed to realize that it's flirting and not merely "being nice". So I just don't bother (fleshed out below, since as you'll see I'm introverted). Which really means, I guess, I don't know if people are reacting differently towards me. Or at least in that department, since people have always been nice to me anyways.

Okay, sort of off topic now, so you can stop reading if you like.

I do think I get more attention from guys now that I'm leaner, but like others have pointed out this may have to do with the fact that being leaner makes me more self-confident (though I'm not sure about that). What's funny is that I've always been an introvert. Combined with the fact that I was (let's face it) overweight, this led to me having almost no opportunities to practice flirting (add in a really bad experience I had with a man and I really became a recluse in the romance department). Even though I'm happier with my body and more self-confident now, I don't know how to respond when guys are trying to flirt with me. I'm still an introvert, really, and being outgoing and flirtatious is difficult for me. I'm sure I must come across as not interested, or stuck-up, but I'm just really insecure in that department.

I am introverted as well, and can't flirt worth beans, although it doesn't help that no one's ever flirted with me either :lol:, except the one girlfriend I've had. But I think that lack of ability is largely due to lack of social skills too. I can't really small talk about random stuff with strangers and other people I don't know well (I'm "normal" with friends/family though).

I've found two things though. 1) That people who won't give me the time of day (figuratively), despite that I'm being nice and personable, aren't worth bothering with anyways (regardless of how I physically look). 2) With the one significant other I've had, I found that we didn't really "flirt" in the traditional sense. We found that we had SO much in common with each other from day one that things just sort of happened (mind out of the gutter :p). Things just moved along without us even realizing it since we were having so much fun and had so much in common.

Two of the roommates I had this past year would metaphorically get "the shakes" if they went more than 1 day without trying to flirt and "hook up" with a girl; it was pathetic. It consumed large amounts of their free time and it's like they didn't know what to do with themselves otherwise. They obviously neglected their studies (why else do you spend all that time and money to be in college? Hello!) .But I tend to not worry one way or the other about the whole romance thing since I know that when I come across compatible people, I will recognize them and things will just happen naturally.

But anyways, it's always nice to meet other introverts. Which is a situational thing anyways, as it defines my interactions with strangers, new people I've met, and generally people I'm unfamiliar with. So I'm more "normal" or possibly extroverted around friends and family. Anyways, happy to meet another introvert! I think most people have a hard time truly understanding and grasping the concept of introversion and that I'm perfectly happy with not needing to constantly be around a lot of people. They seem to think that when I'm keeping to myself I'm secretly yearning for attention and secretly hoping someone will talk to me. And it's frustrating sometimes trying to get this concept across to them that I'm happy with what I'm doing, that it's possible to have a personality other than the social butterflies that they are, and that if I want to socialize then I'll come out and do so.

There is without question that confidence commands respect. And it can be said that most of confidence comes from how your feeling about yourself...And when I say yourself, in most cases it deals with how you look physically ..However my question was more directed towards how the world treats you compared to how you looked (overweight/underweight) to how you are now (after transformation).

In my case, I am overweight now, but physically fit about a year ago and I noticed a HUGE change in how the world treats me. For instance when I was in shape, I often got complimentary or discounted things from female waitresses or cashiers. Now, I am either ignored or treated rudely. Over the years I had many job interviews which I aced them all, now I feel the interviewers treat me like a sick patient. Perhaps the biggest difference is how I no longer get party invitations as I used to. It's a cold world for the out of the shape. WE all seen lonely overweight guys but hardly a muscular guy without friends. So I wonder if being physically fit automatically commands respect from people and better opportunities.

I could see that happening..
I'm not sure if its the fact that I've put on about 50 lbs of muscle in the past couple of years or the fact that I appear more confident and strong now since my posture has improved and I am more confident but I do see some of these things you have talked about from your past..
I have had job interviews and a couple times they have pretty much told me that usually the interview is longer and they actually think about if they want to hire me but they just ended up offering me the job on the spot. A couple years ago I was sorta going through a period of having interviews and that never happened.
When I goto the stores/restaurants I seem to get better service and sometimes I get free stuff..
If I goto the bar I either have girls approaching me or showing signs of interest (but at 6'4 I sorta stand taller then 90% of the ppl there so I get noticed)..


Just get your ass into shape again and then you wont have to wonder if ppl will treat you differently.. you will know for sure :D I'm sure if you get yourself looking like you did before you will notice ppl look at you differently..

I'm not sure waitress etc are a great measure. Most of the time they get treated like crap. So if you smile. Treat them like humans. Don't stare at their chests etc. You'll get treated well. I've never had trouble getting well treated by waitress or people in shops. But I also know full well how badly most of them get treated so I do my best to treat them like I'd want to be treated.

I'm not sure waitress etc are a great measure. Most of the time they get treated like crap. So if you smile. Treat them like humans. Don't stare at their chests etc. You'll get treated well. I've never had trouble getting well treated by waitress or people in shops. But I also know full well how badly most of them get treated so I do my best to treat them like I'd want to be treated.

but at the same time if she finds you attractive she is gonna treat you better..

actually one place I have found a huge difference is at the gym..
the chicks that work at my gym always want to chat :lol:

The important people in my life were a positive part of my life before I got fit, and they still are.

When I first shed a lot of fat, I received many compliments about how well I had done. When I later added a lot of muscle, I instead received compliments about how good I look. This is gratifying, but isn't really anything to do with being treated in a certain way.

Actually, I don't even believe in the concept of "being treated" in a certain way. You have to take an active part in your relationships with the people around you and forge your situations according to your principles - not wait to see how you are "treated".

The important people in my life were a positive part of my life before I got fit, and they still are.

When I first shed a lot of fat, I received many compliments about how well I had done. When I later added a lot of muscle, I instead received compliments about how good I look. This is gratifying, but isn't really anything to do with being treated in a certain way.

Actually, I don't even believe in the concept of "being treated" in a certain way. You have to take an active part in your relationships with the people around you and forge your situations according to your principles - not wait to see how you are "treated".


I gotta disagree with you on that one. The way you are treated by other people is out of your control. An obesed child can have the greatest personality in the world but kids will still find him a target for jokes and ridicule. The reason I started this thread is because for the most part, some people will treat you the way you look. After all, the first thing anyone sees about you is how you look physically.

One of the posts, I find so true is the one where more girls seem to be around the person after his transformation, and because of this, guys seem to hang around him too :lol:.

Here's the update I was talking about. I think it pretty much sums up what this thread is about. This is John's August 2005 update:

Something kind of cool happened to me yesterday on the way home from the datacenter. I was in my S2000 (top dropped, of course) and feeling good: sun was out, upgrades done, music going. So I'm sitting at a traffic light just minding my own business, when an attractive girl in a black SUV sitting in the lane next to me leaned out of the back seat and said, "Excuse me!" I turned down the music and nodded, but she just giggled and quickly disappeared back into the safety of the car. I shrugged and turned the music back up. The SUV had 6 or 7 girls in it, and the girls looked very young - probably High School. A second later, the same girl leaned out and performed the exact same routine: Excuse me, giggle, disappear. Right after she disappeared another girl, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, leaned out and shouted, "Do you like girls or guys?" Heh, I held up my left index finger and wiggled my wedding ring with my thumb. She laughed and said, "You are soooooo CUTE!" Then she asked, "Do you have any kids?" I shouted back, "No", I don't." "Well," she replied, "do you want any?" I just laughed and shook my head. She said again, "Soooooo CUTE!" I turned the music back up while she and her friends went back to giggling. Little events like that are always nice, and a heck of a confidence booster. I'm sure those girls have forgotten all about me, but they made my day. Look, I'm almost 37 years old. When a truckload of girls young enough to be my daughters flirt with me, I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel pretty damn good.

Well, seems like the topic here is how you are treated outside the gym. But for me apparently by groing from fat to lean, I am in need of advice on how to workout, how many sets, tempo, blah blah blah.

Now I am a nice guy so I won't say something offensive, but it's really annoying to have someone come up and tell me to pyramid and superset my exercises and that my 2up/3down second cadence is too slow.

Damnit, just because I am small doesn't mean I am a noob! Sorry, just venting.

Other than that, I think I am treated the same by friends/family. Of course there was the initial "wow, you lost weight," but that was over and done quickly.

so many good stories and responses on here, and now i have to mess it all up.


i lost a ton of friends due to my transformation. alot of my friends say i turned into nothign more than a 'dude bro' ,a nd that i turned gay, and that i have no life, don't have time for them, etc.

keep in mind, none of these people have degrees, and 95% of my available time right now in my life goes towards my studies, and not working out. i used to be very much into cars, modifying them, racing them, and breaking them. actually that whole breaking thing makes it so i can't get to school on time, so i have really cut down on the car stuff while in school.

it's really upsetting to me, sort of.

now, with the girls.
i have had horrible luck with girls this past year, but to be perfectly honest, i'd say it's because i am not looking, don't have time to look, and dont' have time to read into things to think ' hmm, does she want me to pursue her?? ' because honestly, i don't have time to right now. i like to go out with girls, have a good time, hug, maybe grab akiss here or there, and to be honest, that's about it.


i got out of a pretty bad relationship last may, and i'm not ready for another one just yet. i've had some pretty serious crushes on girls, but i dont' know if i would act on it just yet, because i don't know if i'm ready for it as it is. to be perfectly honest, i am enjoying my solitude, and i would rather get my life all set up, straight, and locked and loaded at a four-year university than play the game ' chase the girl ' all week. i dunno, not my thing right now, i guess.

i've only had one woman tell me i look beautiful no matter what.

my mom.

and to be perfectly honest, she's the most important woman in my life, so i'm totally happy with that.


the thing that sucks now is that i know someone that i date will have to be into fitness and be somewhat healthy herself. . i can't date a girl that is thin that eats junkfood and isn't concerned with her health.

and finding girls like that is really hard these days.

the thing that sucks now is that i know someone that i date will have to be into fitness and be somewhat healthy herself. . i can't date a girl that is thin that eats junkfood and isn't concerned with her health.

and finding girls like that is really hard these days.


I totally feel you on this. Every since I started working out I've thought about this situation every now and then when it comes to eventually finding a girl. Diet is 75% of working out and changing or maintaining your body, and hardly anyone (statistically speaking) is willing to give up eating their typical American diet. Getting a girl to go to the gym with you is one thing, but trying to get them to change their diet...yeah, I dunno (not a girl focused thing, as I know guys are the same way).

I gotta disagree with you on that one. The way you are treated by other people is out of your control. An obesed child can have the greatest personality in the world but kids will still find him a target for jokes and ridicule.

That actually illustrates my point. A kid doesn't yet have the tools to take active control of the world. By contrast, we're talking about adults.

The reason I started this thread is because for the most part, some people will treat you the way you look.

Well, as I said, I don't believe in passively waiting to see how we are treated. I guess if you sit around hoping that other people will make the effort because of how you look, you will get some kind of result, on a very shallow level.

One of the posts, I find so true is the one where more girls seem to be around the person after his transformation, and because of this, guys seem to hang around him too :lol:.

I can't say there's anything in my experience that matches this. As part of my job (Adult film maker and photogapher) I spend a lot of time with
very attractive women, and this is no different to the situation before I started training. They're there because it's their job to be there and because I treat them with respect and integrity (which has nothing to do with how I look, and everything to do with how I behave).

To use the other example often given in this thread, namely the gym - well, I go to a small, private gym where people are focussed on their exercise. Snippets of friendly interaction also occur, but that's because there are nice people there who are on the same wavelength (both men and women).

i lost a ton of friends due to my transformation. alot of my friends say i turned into nothign more than a 'dude bro' ,a nd that i turned gay, and that i have no life, don't have time for them, etc.

keep in mind, none of these people have degrees, and 95% of my available time right now in my life goes towards my studies, and not working out. i used to be very much into cars, modifying them, racing them, and breaking them. actually that whole breaking thing makes it so i can't get to school on time, so i have really cut down on the car stuff while in school.

the thing that sucks now is that i know someone that i date will have to be into fitness and be somewhat healthy herself. . i can't date a girl that is thin that eats junkfood and isn't concerned with her health.

and finding girls like that is really hard these days.This sounds like a good illustration of being treated differently because you treat others differently.

Your interests have become more narrow and you don't have as much time for your friends.
Physical attractiveness of your dates has become much more important to you.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I do think it's important that you're conscious of these choices that you made for yourself.

Well ppl are going to treat you differently when you loose the weight if its drastically than they will harp on it for a while I remember when I lost the weight I missed a lot of days out of school 21 days to be exact and my teachers were worried about me because I had this Stomach Virus I guess it was Airborne because it went away never had the symptoms again. But yes people did treat me differently when I lost the weight and they are still treating me differently now that I picked up the weight again but I don't pay them any mind because ppl are going to criticize you until you leave this earth we can't do anything about that

This sounds like a good illustration of being treated differently because you treat others differently.

Your interests have become more narrow and you don't have as much time for your friends.
Physical attractiveness of your dates has become much more important to you.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I do think it's important that you're conscious of these choices that you made for yourself.

i don't really think my interests have become more narrow. my interests have simply shifted from talking about cars, and going out to eat and drink every night, to talking about my school, studying for school, tutoring people, still working on and playing with my car, and talking about fitness and exercise.

they just take offense to me when i say i can't eat out with them or eat the junkfood they continue to eat.

looks have always been important to me. the brightest males get the females in the wild, it's no different in our world today. i wouldn't have changed my body and health if i didn't think looks were importnat.

thank goodness it's become so much more for me.

I'm not done with this thread yet....From when I last posted, I am 50 lbs lighter and taken 12 inch off the waist...and heres how the world treats me now:
1.) Guys and girls starts the most random conversation with me at the most random places--library, bus stop, subway, waiting in line in dunkin donuts.... random girl even asked me out
2.) Had one of the most kickass job interview of all time today...I'm the same guy with the same resume...But with more confidence in my self image I was able to dominate the entire time...Furthermore I am not viewed as a sick patient bound to use up the companies inssurance because of a heart attack, rather I am actually viewed as an energetic healthy person
3.) I get more smiles lol


AS for me....well, I no longer wish to associate myself with the uncool ppl, its only models from here on..lol jk
I'd like to know if anyone else is/were treated differentely from their before stage to their current

I'm not done with this thread yet....From when I last posted, I am 50 lbs lighter and taken 12 inch off the waist...and heres how the world treats me now:
1.) Guys and girls starts the most random conversation with me at the most random places--library, bus stop, subway, waiting in line in dunkin donuts.... random girl even asked me out
2.) Had one of the most kickass job interview of all time today...I'm the same guy with the same resume...But with more confidence in my self image I was able to dominate the entire time...Furthermore I am not viewed as a sick patient bound to use up the companies inssurance because of a heart attack, rather I am actually viewed as an energetic healthy person
3.) I get more smiles lol


AS for me....well, I no longer wish to associate myself with the uncool ppl, its only models from here on..lol jk
I'd like to know if anyone else is/were treated differentely from their before stage to their current

You've lost 50 pounds since June? Damn.

I get a lot of compliments and attention from the ladies ever since:tucool: haha