I need two kinds of reality check:

First off, if you haven't read my other threads, the stats: I'm female, 44YO, 5'6", about 25% bodyfat, about 130 pounds, give or take two pounds lately.

I've been trying halfheartedly for about six months to get my butt a little smaller and my fitness level a little higher. So, on the second front, mission definitely accomplished, I have gone from being able to run a hundred yards to being able to run a couple of miles of hills, on my running days I usually do five or six miles although I don't run it all. I don't weight train a lot, I squeeze in a few sets on the bowflex when I can, I've made some gains there as well, which is usually easy for me since my goals are moderate and I must have some leftover, I don't know, muscle memory or something from my long-long-ago heavy lifting years.

OK, cut to the now: Frustrated by my lack of weight/butt-size loss, I decided to be much more careful about what/how much I eat. I've been switching over to cleaner eating, and I'm messing around with the right number of calories (I think the absolute number is somewhere in between what I'd been doing and what I'm getting advised to do here, I'm tweaking still). I wanted to take a couple of photos just so I could get an objective look at where I am at. (Honestly, I am not fat, just fatter than I want to be.)

Last night at dinner, my wonderful husband told me I'm getting obsessed. Now, this is a very level-headed guy who likely has my best interests at heart. Also, he knows I once had an ED and was unhealthily thin. However, he's no fitness fanatic, which is where my heart lies if only I could find more time.

So.

How do I tell if I really am getting obsessed? Also, is that bad? What level of obsessed is good (fitness is good, right?) and when is it bad?

I'm asking you guys because, well, quite frankly you are all kind of nuts about fitness, which I personally don't see as a bad thing.

Opinions? Am I going off the deep end?

I need two kinds of reality check:

First off, if you haven't read my other threads, the stats: I'm female, 44YO, 5'6", about 25% bodyfat, about 130 pounds, give or take two pounds lately.

I've been trying halfheartedly for about six months to get my butt a little smaller and my fitness level a little higher. So, on the second front, mission definitely accomplished, I have gone from being able to run a hundred yards to being able to run a couple of miles of hills, on my running days I usually do five or six miles although I don't run it all. I don't weight train a lot, I squeeze in a few sets on the bowflex when I can, I've made some gains there as well, which is usually easy for me since my goals are moderate and I must have some leftover, I don't know, muscle memory or something from my long-long-ago heavy lifting years.

OK, cut to the now: Frustrated by my lack of weight/butt-size loss, I decided to be much more careful about what/how much I eat. I've been switching over to cleaner eating, and I'm messing around with the right number of calories (I think the absolute number is somewhere in between what I'd been doing and what I'm getting advised to do here, I'm tweaking still). I wanted to take a couple of photos just so I could get an objective look at where I am at. (Honestly, I am not fat, just fatter than I want to be.)

Last night at dinner, my wonderful husband told me I'm getting obsessed. Now, this is a very level-headed guy who likely has my best interests at heart. Also, he knows I once had an ED and was unhealthily thin. However, he's no fitness fanatic, which is where my heart lies if only I could find more time.

So.

How do I tell if I really am getting obsessed? Also, is that bad? What level of obsessed is good (fitness is good, right?) and when is it bad?

I'm asking you guys because, well, quite frankly you are all kind of nuts about fitness, which I personally don't see as a bad thing.

Opinions? Am I going off the deep end?

It doesn't sound to me like you're going off the deep end at all.

Of course.. I'm the guy who pushes to do 3-4 hours of cardio a day.

... maybe someone else is better off answering your question :D

The way I define an obsession is something that impacts other aspects of your life negatively. If you're so focused on what you're doing that your relationship is suffering, or other things are being neglected, then it may be time to step back and examine what you're doing.

Anything we do- wanting to be healthy, video games, TV, reading, music and so on can be taken to an extreme. If you define yourself by one thing that you do, then you may be doing yourself a disservice.

Good luck :)

-L

Well, there are only so many hours in a day and most of mine are double-booked, so if I spend four hours a week (that's the high end) exercising, those are hours I am not mowing the lawn, washing the floor, etc. Again, I'm not sure how much is obsession. Also, isn't a bit of obsession (where you journal everything you eat and every bit of exercise) kind of necessary at first so you can see what is working?

You have to pick your priorities.

It sounds like your husband would rather see the floor a little cleaner and the grass a little neater than your butt a little smaller. And for you, the opposite. That's where the conflict is coming from.

A bit of "obsession" is not necessary. There are any number of ways to become healthier, fitter, leaner, more attractive, and some of them are no complicated than increasing activity levels, and decreasing intake of saturated fats and refined carbohydrates. Journaling and counting calories might get you more precisely and more quickly where you want to get, but they're certainly not essential steps of the journey.

Hello Queenie.

You really do not sound obsessed to me.
Logging your food intake will sound obsessive to most people, but well do you want to look like most people? and suffer from most people's health issues? :)

With a bit of practice logging your food intake should not
take you more than 5 minutes a day, and from my own experience the return on this small time investment is very good.

Good luck.

Shahar.

Of course.. I'm the guy who pushes to do 3-4 hours of cardio a day.

Why 3-4 hours? j/w

It sounds like your husband would rather see the floor a little cleaner and the grass a little neater than your butt a little smaller.

Oh dear. I don't think it's that, honestly. I think it's more that he's hearing me talk about what I can/can't eat, whether or not I've lost 1/4 inch off of my butt, etc and these have not been topics of conversation, well, ever.

I hope to settle into a rhythm of what's a good day's feed, not too much nor too little. But since I'm not there yet, I journal every bite, weigh portions, etc. It is certainly a pain.

Oh dear. I don't think it's that, honestly. I think it's more that he's hearing me talk about what I can/can't eat, whether or not I've lost 1/4 inch off of my butt, etc and these have not been topics of conversation, well, ever.

I hope to settle into a rhythm of what's a good day's feed, not too much nor too little. But since I'm not there yet, I journal every bite, weigh portions, etc. It is certainly a pain.

In that case, iIt might sound to him like it's detracting from your enjoyment of other aspects of your life.

He could be concerned about your overall wellbeing, mood, etc. I can understand his concern if you once had an eating disorder. It's easy enough to get on a slippery slope, and begin to go overboard into habits and activities that are no longer healthy at the rate you're doing them, but may have the appearance of being so.

Keep in mind your specific life goals, and be sure they're being attended to with as much attention as your fitness goals, and you'll be fine. :tu:

Ahh ED= eating disorder, NOT Erectile Disfunction!

Well, there are lots of quotes around about 'obsession' and yet he may well be concerned that suddenly a lot of things are going to change. he may also be concerned that you will make changes, not stick to them and end up putting stress on your relationship etc.. etc..

I certainly have become obsessed myself, but I need something (1-2 things) in my life to be 'obsessed' about. Fortunately my wife knows this, and I entered the heating healthily, losing fat etc.. thing very slowly (over several years). That way she got used to it more easily. Now she doesn't even make comments about my BF, even when I drop from say 12% to 8-9%. Not sure if she even notices - no reason for her to.

Without going into a long reply I will say this has been (and will continue to be) an issue for many people and there are more threads on this topic at JS. Spending some time looking for them and reading them might be helpful.

I will say this has been (and will continue to be) an issue for many people and there are more threads on this topic at JS. Spending some time looking for them and reading them might be helpfulThank you, yes, I had scanned a few. It's one of the things I like about the people here, you guys "get it" when I say that I want to improve, even though I'm not mirror-breakingly awful to begin with.

I do feel that given my history it's not completely out of the realm of possibility that I'm just wrong and I really am obsessed and can't see it, which is why I am asking.

I don't want to be average. Seems like I'd need to get a little single-minded to rise above my current level. But I'm a little scared, I don't want to go back to where I think an 800 calorie day is too high.

I guess like anything in life, there is always going to be opinions on what is considered obesessive and what isn't.

I personally do not view journaling as being obessive. All journaling does it keeps me accountable for what I'm doing or not doing in some cases.

My life doesn't revolve around fitness. Yes I eat 6 times a day, but once the workout is done it's back to life as usual. The lawn still needs to be mowed, pets need to be tended to, my son needs help with homework, ect. I've been really cranky lately, but that's what happens when you have a sick pet in the house that has been a major part of your life for a number of years. It has nothing to do with what I'm eating, weights or how I get my cardio in day after day.

I did stumble across a journal the other night which isn't posted here and shall remain anonnoymous where I thought this person really had her act together, however, I quickly realised that she doesn't. The gym and what she eats is her life. I've found this to be true on a few other blogs that I've visited beyond the walls of JSF lately as well. These people are so hung up on getting to wherever they want to go, they are willing to cut corners wherever they can in the name of getting to some magic number they picked from the sky or whatever.

If that's the way they choose to live their lives, that's fine, but it does make for a scary read. I won't ever send somebody to these said sites, especially a newbie as there is more to life than macros and the gym. By sending them there for inspiration or whatever would be a bad move on my part.

My point is, as long as you continue to life you life, don't worry about it. Everybody complains about their problem areas. If people that are out of shape can complain about not being able to fit into clothes they bought 2 years ago, we can complain about stubborn fatty areas that are always the last to go.

Thanks all.

Um, if you do think I'm going off the deep end, you will tell me, right?

Thanks all.

Um, if you do think I'm going off the deep end, you will tell me, right?


I think you already know that answer, but if you need to be told, yes, somebody will smack you with the verbal "RELAX" stick if and when it's warranted.