hello everyone. i come before you a broken , frustrated and desperate man. heres my numbers. 37 yrs old. 5'8 and 274lbs. some how i have gained around 74 lbs in 5 yrs. 35 lbs in the past yr because of i stopped using smokeless tobacco. since last august i've been trying to lose weight. at that time i only weighed 264. i worked down to 256 and then my brother who was only 47 died of hardened arteries from diabetes. he smoked but he was not a heavy person, i have another brother who is 42 he's had a heart attack , but survived. thin but smoked. i had a baby last year. he was a premmie, he weighed 1lb 10 oz. [/IMG] he fought hard to be here and i want to be here for him. as it is already my weight keeps cardio down. it gives me high bp, cholesterol, back trouble, diabetes borderline...... the list goes on. i've been trying to do good and i will for a week and then i f it up. somehow i've actually managed to gain. i have small binges. i'll eat good during the day and then bam someone brings out the hershey kisses and i gorge. i know my cal req., i know how to lift and exercize, but for some reason i can't stay the course. i have trouble with my eating. i need a plan. i'm not like john , i'm not going to keep track of every bite i take. i can't even manage my check book. someone help get on track and motivate me. for some reason certain death and my beautiful child who i love to death (no pun intended) i'm just getting deeper and deeper into a hole.
somebody help me , what kinds of foods do i need to get. how do you prepare them for work. i'm always running late. so on. sorry guys i'm just desperate for something to whack me in the face and say get your shit together man. your fallilng apart. maybe just getting this out of me will help. i'm sorry for rambling , if you managed to read all of this thanks. in help would be great.

What does a typical meal plan consist for you?

I would recommend recording what you eat and then removing the junk food from the list (including fizzy drinks, fast food, sweets) and sorting the rest of the food in to a planned menu for the day. When you have acomplished this you will already be eating less calories, when your body adapts to the change you have made it will then be safe to start replacing foods for a more healthy option. With this in mind, move to a 'I WILL NOT EAT IT UNLESS I PLANNED TO EAT IT' attitude.

Hi there. I thougt I would relply here because a few months ago I was slightly heavier than you - albeit younger but I know how a life of not eating well is a habit hard to break. All i can pretend to offer is what helped me to do it.

Like you i am not like john, I was not able to simply change one day and turn around my life seemingly suddenly going from a terrible diet to a good one.

Like many people here have said is that weight loss is about 70% diet. This i never realised until about 8 weeks ago - i have consistantly been going to the gym since April last year. However I lost no wieght and saw no improvements but I got into the routine of going.

I then about 8 weeks ago decided that I would try and get rid of my gut and realised there was no way I was going to do myself a spreadsheet and record my food i thought I would go it without. Just add more protein and eat less fatty foods - we all know which foods are bad for us instincively I think.

Then when this was routine I took it a further step - I would say i still wasnt loosing much weight but was in the routine of going to the Gym and eating somewhat cleanly. I then got the program Diet Power - This is a fantastic program - i put in that i wanted to weigh 220 by july and i put in the foods i eat every day and the exercise i do. It does everything for me - including how many calories i should eat and i tell you that is such a weight off my shoulders.

I now eat very clean and am down to 262 lbs from about 286-287 when i started. I am now so into the routine i would find it hard to go back to my previous ways.

What i think im trying to say in all this crap is if you are anythign like me - you should try doing things in steps. Dont try and eat clean and start going to the gym all at once - it didnt work for me. I may get shot down by people here but its a suggestion.

After all its about changing your life for you and your loved ones - it really is worth it, I know its hard to start off with, the thing i keep in my mind is wow - if i had started in april last year i would be so far by now. I dont want to be thinking that in 6 months time! I want to think how glad i am i did it.

Well i have rambled on long enough - everyone here seems really nice and friendly, just use everyone as a support you will get through it - you are not the first and most certainly be the last :gl:

First of all, it seems like you've made a good first step to permanent weight loss. Your here. You've posted.

A few things I picked up out of your post, one is you say you need motivation. That will have to come from within yourself. The first thing I think that should motivate you is your families terrible health history, and your current situation. Second, as you also mentioned, you want to be 'there' while your son grows up (great pic!!).

So, with that motivation in place, I would think you would be able to accomplish the rest. For me, it was seeing John transformation, and my own picture from my vacation in Hawaii this past January (what a fat pig I was!!!)

Start Here:http://forums.johnstonefitness.com/showthread.php?t=1222

You mention you know how to lift, excercise, etc. This series of articles is a great place to get a good foothold on nutrition.

For excercise, I would suggest start with walking every day. You mentioned you cannot do cardio because of your weight...start with walking until you achieve some weight loss with diet.

Most importantly (at least for me) with the diet is EAT 5 OR 6 TIMES A DAY! This will get your metabolism running, and help prevent those gorges that you have. I used to be the same, I had little control over eating binges, even in the middle of the night.
It is not hopeless, I used to even get up at 2am or 3 am and eat fricken Ice Cream, and a LOT of it!!! Now I am able to eat sensibly, and YOU CAN TO!!!

If this sounds too general, or whatever, its just my 'helpful' hints for someone who sounds like they are in somewhat of a similar physical situation as I was. I have since gained my motivation and lost 40 pounds, 31 of it was Fat!
You can do it too!!


If you have more specific questions I would love to share some of my experiences on my weight loss journey, and there are a TON of people on this board that have a huge amount of experience with pretty much all phases of health.


Good Luck

Jerry

i appreciate you guys taking time to read my cry for help. i guess really my biggest problem is planning and bingeing(?) i'm an athletic person. i lift and have knowledge of lifting excercise and stuff, i can cardio, i have trouble running because i get winded , i think mostly though from the fact that my bp medicine doesn't allow my heart rate to get to elevate and there for it doesn't pump enough oxy and of course that i'm 1oo lbs overweight. I eat decent, i would say my diet can vary some. usually i have either a packet of instant plain oatmeal in the morning or a whey prot. drink. i'll usually have some pretzels at break and for lunch i'll have a chicken salad sandwich on wheat and a caesar side salad from wendys. then for supper i'll have a meat and veg. i like the capt. d's blacken chicken salad. but somewhere in the evening i'll freaking go crazy and eat 2 bowls of ice cream or chocolate. somewhere. so i'll be great for the day and then i'll just piss it away. i have incredible cravings but only after my dr. told me i was borderline diabetic. now that crap just calls me. its not that i'm hungry its just the fact i want it. i know what it is doing to me and i am toldly dominate by it. i have control too. i quit dipping after 20 yrs. so when i get frustrated i quit working out. sometime my schedule is hard to get down to the Y. but hell i'm just making excuses. i'm just getting depressed about it. its wierd cause i want to go down there and work out but my body feels like crap. my joints hurt so even getting in the floor to play with my boy is work. i love playing softball but its no fun anymore. i need to plan my meals. do you guys buy all your food and cook it on sunday night then set it up for the week. what would be a good shopping list

Hey, I'm writing because I have a young son too. I had never tried to lose weight before he was born. I would lie on the couch and watch him play. I kept asking myself "Do I want all of my memories of my son to be from the perspective of the couch?". I started in November, and have lost 47 pounds.
You said you have self-control, or you wouldn't have quit smokeless tobacco. I agree -that's very hard to do. Now you have to apply that determination to food.
At work, people are always offering a Krispy Kreme or whatever. I started turning them down, and inside I would feel tremendously proud of it. I have to give myself a pat on the back whenever I do that. View it as a challenge, and allow yourself to feel proud when you don't give in!
I'm not very organized either. I rely on tools like fitday.com. It really is easy to use - especially when you enter foods in your database that you eat frequently.
I also got to really look forward to my workouts. The endorphins are great.
It's all worth it. I'm having so much fun with my son now. I chase him all around the neighborhood, and never get winded. It's the best feeling!
You have every reason to do this. Make a plan. If you're not an organized person, this is your chance to become one.

If you are looking for a plan that has it all laid out for you, I would recommend Body for Life by Bill Phillips. In his book, he tells you exactly what to eat, when to eat, how to exercise, and when to exercise. It's pretty strict, but if you are as serious about this as you seem to be, then strict should be no problem for you. You have taken a major first step. Congrats. And your son is such a cutie; I see why you would want to stick around for a good long time.

do you guys buy all your food and cook it on sunday night then set it up for the week. what would be a good shopping list

I buy all my food on Saturday or Sunday, but I do not prepare it all ahead of time. I plan all my meals on an Excel spreadsheet. This has been the most important thing for me, because I know what I am going to eat throughout the day and do not end up eating unplanned garbage. I do prepare some stuff ahead of time. I take pretzels to work almost every day, so I get 5 serving size baggies ready on Sunday. It saves a bit of time when I am packing my lunch/snacks the night before work. In the morning I eat breakfast before I leave the house. Then I have a snack at 10:00 at work, lunch at 1:00, and another snack at 3:15. I eat my dinner around 7:00 when I get home and have a small snack around 9:00 (usually a protein shake). Eating throughout the day keeps me satisfied and prevents binges. Knowing what each of my snacks/meals will be ahead of time prevents me from making a bad choice when I am in a hurry.

I think you should quit telling yourself you can't plan ahead and track things. You are talking down to yourself. You can do whatever you put your mind to. If this is something you really want, then you have to realize that yes it will take effort. It will be hard at first, but your efforts will be greatly rewarded! Good luck and here is a small shopping list to get you started:

Chicken Breast
Turkey Slices
Ground turkey
Tuna (lots of it)
fish (haddock & cod are good)

Snyders of Hanover pretzels
Oatmeal (not instant) (goes good with atkins syrup)
Kashi cereal
low carb bread (if you must have bread)


Sweet potatos
asparagus
lettuce (and whatever else you would like in a salad)

skim milk
eggbeaters
cottage cheese

almonds
whey protein
protein bars
olives

well, first of all I'd take a look at this e-book (if only because I just bought it yesterday and started reading it late last night): http://www.burnthefat.com/

it's $40, which for an e-book is pretty steep, but I've spent lots more than that on other books, do-nothing supplements, and crap food, so BFD. or get the Body fer Life book. maybe you'll do better with it than I did; hell you can have my copy.

anyway, I can see your frustration with the mechanics of all this, and I too said "no way am I ever gonna track everything I eat." Well, sure, I made lots of progress at first but then stalled out. after resigning myself to tracking my food I found that I was eating waaaay too little. so the reward is I get to eat more ;) and I'm building muscle faster now. it's all clean natural foods of course.

this "burn the fat" thing I'm finding is related to BFL only it's not so rigid and dogmatic. BLF implies that everyone's the same and mandates the same diet and routines; Burn the Fat has a number of eating and training ideas for all body types. maybe to get started you need that rigidity, though; I think that helps a lot of people do something, anything, other than nothing! I also got turned off by the BFL author's pushing his EAS products, as the book is written by the owner of EAS (though I think he recently cashed out), and his style is a little breathless but then most of these books are like that.

don't think you need to spend a lot of money on supplements; the only thing you might consider for now is a protein supplement, preferably whey. it's not that expensive and if you have a Costco store in your city they sell a huge jug of it for $25.

anyway, I'm probably not very reliable for advice (I still smoke, though I don't drink anymore and I eat clean now) so it's worth what you paid ;)

I´m 38 years old and I started at 281(127 Kg)...I think you should try to start counting your calories...And get them from healthy food...Start with long distance endurance cardio...Dont do anything intense that might be dangerous for your heart the first months.
Start doing weight-training at a gym or at home...Perhaps 3-4 times/week.

Try to get enough protein. 30-50% of what you eat should come from that. Eat healthy fats and "slow" carbs....

Regards! :gl:

Maybe force yourself to drink water a few 8 oz glasses of water before each binge.

I second what everyone else said - especially about using Fitday.com to track your food intake (I don't know if anyone mentioned it's free!). I have been careful about what I eat for awhile now and thought I was doing great, but I was shocked how poor my eating habits still were after I started using Fitday.com. I wish I had started using it from the beginning. And I wouldn't get too radical in the beginning - start by cutting everything you KNOW you shouldn't be eating (i.e. soda, chips, ALL fast food, sugar cereal, ect.) then work up to managing your exact calories and nutrient intake. It's tough at first, but after a month or so you won't miss most of that stuff.

If you're anything like me there are 2 main things you need to do before you begin: 1) Be 110% committed to making a change and 2) Commit to sticking to your plan until you reach your goals. It's relatively easy to start watching your diet and join a gym, but are you prepared to stick it out 2 or 3 years if needed? You need to make that committment to yourself up front. That's what did it for me. No more fad diets or exercise machines that end up in the basement after 2 weeks. Change your diet for good and commit to a permanent lifestyle of exercise and activity. Slow and steady definately wins the race. I guarantee in a year or 2 you won't be thinking about all the TV shows and tasty food you missed out on, you'll be thinking why didn't I do this sooner? :nod: Good luck! :tu:

Oh, and if nobody else mentioned it, you should probably consult a doctor before you do any exercise considering your situation and family history. You don't want to finally get started and be sidelined by an injury or health problem.

Hi,
I don't mean to sound harsh, but none of us *like* planning meals and sticking to the plans, I know I certainly don't, but you've just GOT to do it if you want to maximise your potential. You have to have that iron will. If somebody brings round some junk food, you just HAVE to resist it. I know it's difficult, but it is definitely possible (as you know). It just depends how much you want it.

There is no need to ask us what to eat - just look at John's food logs and you will get a good idea. As for "how" to prepare food for work, it is just common sense. I go to college all day every day of the week and work on weekends; I take two meals with me every day. If you're short on time, that's where the planning comes in to it - if you start work in 30 minutes, you don't want to be standing in the kitchen trying to think of something healthy to prepare while the clock is ticking away.

The only person that can kick you into gear is yourself - if you can't plan your meals and resist a piece of junk food then you just don't want it bad enough. My dad is the exact same way; he knows he has to lose weight, but just cannot maintain healthy eating, even for a single day. It really is hard for me to watch. I hope you don't think I don't understand, because I do - I was in your position. I dropped over 50lbs of fat in 2002. I only did it because I wanted it BAD.

Before you embark on any exercise plan or radical diet changes [other than cutting out junk food] please consult with your physician.

Oh and tell all your family, friends and co-workers that you are going on a healthy eating and exercise plan to change your lifestyle. This ain't a diet. Ask them to please be helpful to you and not offer junk or keep it around you if they can. Making a public comittment can help your motivation because now you know everyone is eyes on you. Fear of public failure can be a great motivational tool.

Don't get depressed dude. You just gotta get in the habit of eating right and exercising. After the first couple of weeks it becomes a habit and gets much easier. For starters just stop buying junk food. Tell the wife to please stop buying it. Make laziness work for you. I will guess that if you are like 99% of us you just don't feel like driving all the way to the store for some crap food at 1 am. If it ain't in the house you can't eat it.

The above people have said all the rest. Cute kid BTW! :D

I'm 35 years old and 300+ pounds. (hope to be down to 300 soon so I can buy a scale :-)

I was like you a few months ago... I didn't know if I could do this but I was excited to have found John's web site and forums and I knew that if I didn't change I was on a collision course with major health problems.

Around January of this year I decided that something had to be done... I also decided that this was going to be permanent changes to my lifestyle so I would lose weight, gain strength, and increase my overall fitness level.

The next step for me was to set a short term goal of going one month on clean food. By "clean food" I mean stuff made from ingredients.... not heavily processed prepared food and absolutely ZERO fast food.

During that first month you want to be creative in the kitchen... Don't eat the same thing every day or you'll get bored and revert to your old ways. Don't worry about counting every calorie, just use the month to wean off the junk. Buy fresh food and cook from scratch as much as possible.

I'm a gadget freak so I bought a rice cooker. This helped me to begin to enjoy cooking again.

During the first month take some time to pour over the massive amounts of information here in the forums and elsewhere on the web. You might even want to try one of the books suggested earlier in the thread.

After a few weeks you should have a good idea of what is working for most of us. Lots of folks post their daily food intake here and you can compile a list of stuff that might work for you.

During the last week of your first clean month formulate a plan for the next week. Decide what you're going to have for Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and mid-morning/mid-afternoon snacks. On the last Saturday of that first clean month go to the grocery store and buy all the stuff you will need for your first planned week.

When you get home put your new groceries away and rid your house of all junk. Just throw it out. Ask the rest of your family to support your decision. They love you and they should comply with your request.

On Sunday do your prep-work. Chop all your veggies and grill up all your chicken breasts or whatever cooking you can do so things are easy during the next week.

Place one or two days worth of meals in the fridge and put the rest in the freezer. (heh... home-made healthy frozen TV dinners :-)

Now I know you think you lack the discipline to log your food intake but you've got to try it. It seemed like too much work to me until I tried it.

I use Fitday.com and it was a tremendous help. It is also a free service so the price is right.

As I entered in each food item consumed I could watch my macronutrient balances and stuff and see how the choices I made affected my nutrition. Knowing that I was eating healthy and within the proper calorie range and nutrient balance was a powerful motivator. The veil of mystery was lifted and I knew that I could do this! I can not stress enough how much of a help this was.

By the end of that fifth week you should have enough data to plan your next week and so on and so forth.

Now start to plan out your exercise routine... Again, there is a fantastic wealth of knowledge here in the forums and John has some awesome links on his training page.

Cardio is important... Pick an exercise that you enjoy so you will be more likely to stick with it. I love cycling and I live in a great area with lots of paved trails. I've also outfitted my bike with fenders so I can ride in the rain and my wife bought a treadmill so we can still work out if there is a downpour. Doing these sorts of things eliminates excuses to blow off the workout.

Look for the excuses you use to blow off workouts and then eliminate them. Make it so there is no reason to ever miss a workout again.

By week six you should have a good idea of how your food is working and you should have an exercise plan. Stick with your plan and you should start to feel and see results within a few more weeks.

As the weeks go by you won't have to login to fitday everyday... just when you eat something that is outside your normal plan.

Concentrate on breaking old habits and building new, healthy habits. Take things one step at a time and before you know it your clothes will be all baggy.

You CAN DO THIS! :-)

Edit: Spellcheck... was late and I noticed tons of errors this morning.

Said good stuff...

Amazing post Obscura! I wish I had this when I started. It's everything a newbie needs to start out on a new, healthy lifestyle!

Amazing post Obscura! I wish I had this when I started. It's everything a newbie needs to start out on a new, healthy lifestyle!I'll second that. Great post, Obscura. Logical, easy to follow, and without a lot of calculations. I suspect that a lot of beginners are overwhelmed by the complexity of what a lot of us do. It makes them give up before getting started. Getting in shape doesn't have to be difficult, it just takes motivation and dedication.

I second what Obscura said, just literally throw out all the candy, ice cream and other junk. Ask your family to never buy them again (it will help their health also). If you need some night snack, buy lots of low fat cottage cheese and binge on that at night ;)

If a radical, sudden lifestyle change is not for you, do it in steps. Say one extra step every week. Stop drinking anything but water (and green tea for example) on week 1. Stop eating all but whole grain breads the next. Start eating 5 small meals a day from week 3. And so on, change things slowly but surely.

Also, it might be worth carrying a picture of your son on you all the time and force yourself to look at it every time you are about to eat something you should not.

See in all this healty lifestyle thing the good news is that there are no secrects, non of us has a special magical thing that makes it easier for us. Well, the bad news is that there are no secrects, and since for most of us these changes are not easy at all, you just have "suffer" you way into health. ;)

Just to add about MOTIVATION.
Isn't your family history a great motivation? Do you want to be around for your kid?
When my father had a heart attack I was 300 lbs. My gradfather diet after a heart attack, then my father had one. Then I realized that being 5'7" and weighing 300 lbs is not going to give me any good at all. It took me about 2 weeks to do my research and plan my diet and excerise routine. I like you could not manage anything, but I changed.
I started on January 21, 2002 at 300 Lbs and today on April 20, 2004 I am at 171 lbs and feeling awsome. Yes, it was a long way, but a sure way. It is much healthier to gradualy reduce the weight then.
I would suggest do some searches on this forum, there is a lot of great info here. So take your time, plan your life for the next 2 years, set your short and long term goals (realistic not like I want to lose 30 lbs in 2 weeks) and stay motivated by thinking about your child and your past family history.Click here to see my before and after pictures (http://www.body-for-life-tracker.com/showphotos.cfm?id=4234)