As a very little kid, I ran around a lot and was happy. I wasn't "good at sports", but I loved playing them (poorly)! I had lots of energy, ran around and had fun. I was skinny.

Damned gym teachers. I'm a little slow physically. Have to do stuff a few times more than most people to "get" it, have to work a little harder. But gym teachers don't know about that. And rather than give me some extra help, or bear in mind that they weren't training athletes, but just healthy, happy every day people, I was made to feel ashamed for my lack of sports skills. Feeling physically inept, I basically abandoned my body while in school. It took me decades to realize that I wasn't hopeless...just needed more time and work on stuff. Damn. So much lost for no reason.

My sharpest gym class memories were of being run around a soccer field in hot sun until there were shooting pains in my side and I was choking for air. "No pain, no gain!" the gym teacher bellowed at us. So this was exercise. Being sane, I decided exercise wasn't for me, and receded into my head.

Cut forward to me as a 30-year-old with paunch. I couldn't get up without grunting, couldn't run for a bus without gasping, was feeling weak and old trying to take heavy packages up the steps to my apartment. There was a growing list of sketchy afflictions: allergies, asthma, fallen arches, TMJ, etc etc. I felt like it was all coming apart.

But I wasn't ready to get old! So I joined a gym. The muscle-bound orientation counsellor took one look at me and said, with a smirk, "You're never gonna look like Sylvester Stallone". I looked him in the eye and said "I don't want to look like Sylvestor Stallone. In fact, I don't even want to look like you. I just want to lose some weight and tone up, that's all." It was the day I started to take possession of my body (I'm not quite all there yet, 14 years later!).

The problem, really, is that jocks run all physical culture in this country. And physical culture should be for everyone, including people who aren't jocks at all. Nerds aren't unphysical 'cuz they're naturally that way. They're that way because jocks block the doorway. Me? I'm neither jock nor nerd. Just some dude trying to get through life relatively unscathed.

So I worked out, transformed by the news that stabbing pain was NOT, in fact, a necessary component of exercise. Literally no one had ever told me that before. It was a huge, huge realization. So I went nuts, jogging, lifting weights, yoga....it was great.

And then I stopped just before I really hit a groove. Why? I got busy. And depressed. For a few years.

When I tried to restart, I was very low energy, and had trouble getting up the energy to work out. Have you ever slumped at a weight machine, drowning in self-disgust, and found yourself unable to finish even three reps of low weight? Not because you lack muscle, but just because you lack will? Not a pretty sight. Muscle doesn't lift weight. Will lifts weight.

Things in my life got worse. My dad died, my business failed, the love of my life turned out to be two-timing me. I was broke with little hope of recovery. I was 25 pounds overweight. I was suicidal.

I couldn't run. I couldn't lift weights. I could, however, do yoga. So I started getting very serious about yoga. Built up my energy that way (it's not just stretching!). After two years, I pulled out of the depression. And I started running and lifting at the gym again. It was feeling good. Lost some weight. And then started meditating, which really cleaned me out nicely, and gave me plenty of energy. Afflictions almost all gone!

And then I got super busy (finally making money!), and had to cease all physical activity for a few months. My job required me to eat a ton of caloric food. Gained weight. High blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure. Not good. And I'd never really gotten over the weight hump. I'd been over 200 pounds, to greater/lesser degrees, for 20 years straight. While I had been in and out of decent aerobic condition, I couldn't remember the last time I didn't look and feel paunchy and bloated. People said I look like Penn Gillete. Yikes.

That was 3 months ago. I started working out again, but was having endurance issues. Turned out my blood pressure was soaring in cardio. I got on meds so I could work out without having a stroke...so I could lose the weight to fix the blood pressure to get off the meds! And I got extremely serious, eating only steamed vegs and whole grains (with yogurt, milk, nuts, almond butter, eggs, and steamed fish for protein). I did cardio every other day and finally regained enough energy to add in a little bit of weight training.

Now, three months later, I have only lost 9 pounds. Disappointed, I found this site, and realized the problem. I need more than the 1200 calories/day I was eating. And I need more protein. And i need to spread my meals out (I've been in starvation mode for decades....skipping breakfast and lunch because I was ashamed of my weight).

So I've made all those changes in past two weeks. And I've ordered some Nitrean. And I'm now doing cardio daily(!), and edging into HIIT (under guidance of a cardiologist). I'm SO determined to bash through this thing - lose the weight, firm up, and keep it that way. I decided, almost on a lark ('cuz I'm not that vain about my appearance) to make it my top priority, just because I'm actually pretty pissed that I - a person of great discipline - have been unable to get where I wanted to. It's not that hard. I just need consistency and effort to pull together the knowledge and make it stick. Fortunately, I'm working from home, and have plenty of free time to devote to this.

And this site's given me lots of inspiration plus lots of great info. So I guess I'm sort of in mid-transformation already....but using the knowledge here as rocket fuel to juice things up a bit.

I was planning to aim for 185 pounds, a good high-average weight for my height and build. But after hanging out on this site, know what? Screw it. I'll go for 170, and I'll get tight as a drum and build myself up a bit (no desire to be massive...I'll stop at "groovy"!). I mean...why not? I'm pissed off that all my life I've let entropy gain on me. I'm taking control now. And I'll do what it takes. I'm totally committed.

Am also taking salsa dance lessons (I need every step taught to me three times, because I'm slow physically, but I love it), and I can do stuff (including strength stuff) in yoga that would amaze you. I may take up some sports, too. Most jocks my age (44) are starting to turn to flab. I, by contrast, feel like I'm on the verge of puberty! Everything's getting better!! I love being a contrarian...

I have some questions, will post them separately.

About 8 out of 10 everyday lifters are never going to look like Sylvester Stallone.

And of those remaining 8, probably 3 of them could have looked like Sly but were just never exposed to the right protocol.

So when the instructor says "you're never going to look like Sly", in many cases it's because he personally does not have the knowledge to get you there.

The guy that runs my local fitness store has been lifting for 15 years. He still doesn't look like Sly or anywhere close.

If I heard that the first time I went to a gym, I'd immediately leave the premises and look elsewhere. Not because I want to look like Sly but because the first response is to tell me what I CAN'T do. Not what I CAN do.

Congrats for persevering..:tucool:

I'm sure you'll make it when the right doors are opened in terms of program,training,diet etc.

keep up the good work:tucool:

I'm amazed when I read a post and see similarities that I have dealt with also. I'm glad you're talking about your personal experiences and putting it out there for others to read. You've come to a top notch site with an abundance of great information as well as personalities to help you reach your goals. Good Luck here.

I'm amazed when I read a post and see similarities that I have dealt with also..

That's why I posted it! I think it's important to leave a bread crumb trail for others who resonate with your experiences (especially ones who are just starting on all this). I'll keep posting as I learn and experience.

I dont need good luck wishes, though I do appreciate them! I have zero doubt that I'll get to my goal. I'm extremely fortunate in not having a lot of real life obstacles, so it's all just about my sticking with it, and I'm making it my top priority and commitment.

You should have told him you're too tall to look like Sly :lol:

Now, three months later, I have only lost 9 pounds. Disappointed, I found this site, and realized the problem. I need more than the 1200 calories/day I was eating. And I need more protein. And i need to spread my meals out (I've been in starvation mode for decades....skipping breakfast and lunch because I was ashamed of my weight).


I love reading stories of how people decided to OWN their body transformation and then actually do it. Your story is great. I only have one thing to point out....

EVERY pound of fat lost....EVERY POUND is a victory. I spent 6 months dropping 45 pounds and 3 months droping an additional 8 pounds. I celibrate EVERY pound....no matter how long it took to lose.

They all add up.... :bb:

But you are right, you need to eat more. It's like 'you have to spend money to make money'...'you have to eat more to lose weight'. :eat:

There is nothing difficult about being athletic. It is more a state of mind or desire. Some pick it up early in the formative years in touch football games. Others do it at the encouragement of relatives. Some wait till they are adults and choose to turn their bodies around.

Many have come to a site like this being 100-150 lbs over weight and make the choice because they can take it no longer. You can turn the corner in 2 months or so if you choose to. See it as always been your choice.

I feel lucky that I grew up long before there were personal trainers, I learned it on my own. I was always blessed with a thirst for knowledge so I read. I suggest you read a few books, they are cheap on John's Amazon store.

Living Longer, stronger - Dr. Ellington Darden

There is nothing difficult about being athletic.


I think you missed my point.

Some people pick up physical skills and coordinations fast and easy. Others take more time. And no one ever took the time with me.

I later discovered that I can do pretty much anything, just so long as I drill a little longer and try a little harder. But the damage was done. Having been declared "non-athletic", I gave up trying ages ago. That's why I let myself get fat. I wasn't connected to my body. I'd been told that in my case nothing could come from any such connection. I was told (and constantly reinforced) that I "wasn't physical", and, being an impressionable kid, I believed them. So I abandoned my body and lived in my head.

I'm reversing that.

I later discovered that I can do pretty much anything, just so long as I drill a little longer and try a little harder. But the damage was done. Having been declared "non-athletic", I gave up trying ages ago. That's why I let myself get fat. I wasn't connected to my body. I'd been told that in my case nothing could come from any such connection. I was told (and constantly reinforced) that I "wasn't physical", and, being an impressionable kid, I believed them. So I abandoned my body and lived in my head.

I may have missed it and expressed myself poorly. I am glad you made the choice you have made now. It is never too late. I regret you were led astray. You are in a position to make the turn around very fast and I do recommend the book for a no-nonsense approach to do so.

RTE, I didn't mean to sound testy. It's hard to project tone. I just wanted to clarify my point, that's all!

Thanks for your replies, everyone.