I have been running long distance (mile and 2 mile in track and cross country) since December of 2002. Before this period I played football...i was a skinny (6'2 175 pound) offensive lineman and defensive end

needless to say, i was getting rocked at every practice and never played...so some of my friends suggested that i should run because my lean frame might be better suited for it

so i started and it was tough at first, but i slowly began to enjoy it...however, i started to hit a wall. my mile time was stuck at 5:25 and my two mile was lingering at 12

one of our really good runners commented on the fact that i had a clydesdale build in comparison to other runners. so he told me that if i lost maybe 10-15 pounds it would make me lighter and faster

so i embarked upon a weight loss/cutting stage. it really came off fast too; i think i was roughly 170 in may of 2003 and by the beginning of june i was 160; at the start of july i weighed in at 153, and i dropped to 145 to begin august

my cross country times plummeted as well! in my first race of the season i ran a 17:45 for 3.1 miles/5 kilometers which definitely smashed my 2 mile times in comparison

but people were worried about me; they thought i was anorexic
some teachers thought i was sick

so my coach wanted me to gain some weight, at least get back up to 150...i didn't really want to, but he told me that he was going to weigh me every day

i thought about just drinking tons of water before the weigh in's to keep from having to gain the weight...but it didn't work, he always weighed me after our runs and drinking copious amounts of water barely replaced the sweat that i was losing

so he pretty much told me that if i didnt gain weight he would kick me off the team because he was scared that i was going to get a stress fracture or worse

so i was just like...okay whatever, ill gain weight if you want me too

but i wasnt educated and i just started going crazy...i went from incredibly clean eating (one day the coach brought krispey kreme donuts for the team after a hard run and i wouldn't touch them, i ate everything purely for performance, never for pleasure...i was scared that the smallest error in my diet would damage my performance...my diet was so puritan) which included tons of oatmeal, chicken breast, kashi cereal, bananas, and pretty much no sweets at all...to absolutely binging

at a football game i demolished an entire pizza by myself...i would go home after school and make a batch of peanut butter cookies (containing 4500 calories in the lot) and eat them all...

i hate to admit it, but it was really fun...after months of depriving my body of sweets/bad fats i was almost shocked by them...

the weight came quickly and i was up to 155 before october began...my times ascended as well...17:45 was my best race of the year, most of my times after my weight gain were at and around the 19 area

i had been on varsity with the 17:45 but lost it with the slower times, my weight was still sky rocketing with the horrid diet, i couldnt stop myself and i weighed 165 pounds on the day of the cross country state championships (nov. 1st 2003)

after the season ended i still couldnt stop myself...i have tried all sorts of calorie restriction, low fat, low carb...etc and i cant make myself adhere to anything

eventually i always succumb to binge eating...it is like i start to feel like im depriving myself of life and fun by not eating bad foods or something really stupid...

i want to return to that focused mindset that i had last summer but i cant put myself there...i am able to stay on a clean eating plan for like a week or two but i always fall off and gain all my weight back

i just want to weigh 155 now....currently i am 170

has anyone had any experience with binging? maybe how to reduce the tendency to binge? motivation to eat well? etc.

any help would be awesome

It sounds to me like you're on the dreaded blood sugar roller coaster. You binge eat and your blood sugar goes through the roof. Your insulin spikes to compensate for the blood sugar. The insulin drives your blood sugar too low which causes the urge to binge eat again. Then the process starts all over.

You're going to have to break the cycle. Force yourself to eat a clean diet with low GI carbohydrates for a few days. Cut out all the sugar and refined carbohydrates. The urge to binge will eventually disappear again. No, it won't be pleasant to break the cycle but it's what you have to do.

Wow, that's an amazing sequence of weight loss/gain...

I think ThatOldGuy has hit the nail on the head.

As a former fat guy who has done his share of binge eating :) I agree.

The longer you stick with healthy eating the easier it becomes to continue with it. Be very strict at first... you probably already know what your "trigger" foods are; you know, the ones that if you take one bite you end up eating the whole thing... so avoid them completely.

Here's something that helped me: whenever I would feel the urge to eat one these trigger foods I would tell myself "I can have that any time I want it, I don't have to have it right now." Then I'd drink a glass of water, have a cup of tea or coffee, or whatever, and do something else. Saying that to myself took the "urgency" out of eating the trigger food, and 99% of the time the craving would vanish.

It all really comes down to doing what you know you need to do, and sticking with it. You can do it... you've done it before.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

I know exactly how you feel bro, it took me awhile but I finally seem to have gotten over the hump. You just have to tell yourself no, over and over again. Stop now while youre still in good shape.

thank you for all of your help!

it will take a long time for me to completely kick it, but your advise has given me a good start

i find that when i have good workouts/ runs i have more of a tendency to eat clean because i want those awesome experiences again and i realize that they will only come through good nutrition

gah, it's so terrible...i will eat so clean for 3-4 days and then suddenly i will just break and lose all of my care for the present and any concept of the future

check today out:

5:20 (before my track practice)- 1 serving of citrucel, 1 large banana, and 1 peanut butter and jelly uncrustable sandwich= 420 calories

7:30 (right before school)- 2 biscuits with gravy, 1 large cinnamon roll with frosting, a 16 ounce whole fat chocolate milk= 1440 calories

11:30- 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, 2 brown sugar cinnamon poptarts, 1 sugar cookie, 2 pieces of mazzios cheese pizza= 2200 calories

12:45- 3 cookies with frosting= 600 calories

3pm to 7pm- 1 peanut butter and jelly uncrustable, a huge bowl of brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal, a big plate of nachos (baked chips with cheddar cheese), a huge bowl of raisin bran crunch with skim milk, a huge bowl of low carb strawberry and chocolate ice cream (with chocolate syrup, chocolate chips, and a peanut butter cup), 1 heaven's bistro veggie pizza, 2 servings of citrucel, 2 cups of low calorie orange juice, and 1 large banana= 3500 calories


so as you can see, i have taken in roughly 8200 calories today...i'm realy weak willed, and i want to change and know that it is impossible to live like this...my athletic performance is suffering big time because of this binging, but im more worried about my future health...i used to be a soldier when it came to discipline but now i feel like im in a plane that is spinning out of control