being a formy fatty, cutting down..and now coming to the harsh realisation that im not gonna be able to achieve the look i desire by simply cutting....

this week ive eaten quite a bit more food, but its all been clean....

my energy in the gym has gone up up up...and progress is going the same way..

the problem is i already feel like im getting fat,my love handles seem squishy...my t shirts arent fitting the same way they were....granted there medioums, and i should probably realise large is more my speed anyway...but its a mental thing..

theres a semi recent picture of me in my journal that is linked in my profile , and here is alink to the physique i hope to achieve...http://www.t-nation.com/img/photos/06-154-training/image023.png

any advice on how to deal?

What was your body fat percentage when you started? How much lean mass and, how fast did you turn around your calories? For example, did you toss in an extra 500 or more cal's right away or did you ramp up? Of course, knowing more about your actual diest will help, but what I hear you saying may be more about the mind games.

I really understand the mental/emotional struggle to be sure. You've worked hard to get lean and you have a hard time slipping "backwards".
My advice would be to look at it the way it worked for me (and I still struggle with it: realize that you have plenty of time and keep your eye on that end goal. Unless you are blessed with a freakishly beneficial metabolism or get your diet and exercise perfect every day, you'll have ups and downs.

You now know what it takes to LOSE the weight. Remember how hard it was to get there at first? Now it's commonplace to you; now you just need to teach your brain to handle going the other way. If anything, I found this harder than losing in the long run. For the record, I'm 6'2" and skinnied down to a very silly 159 last summer. I started bulking slowly in August and, as of this morning, I'm 190. It was a challenge to not obsess in the mirror, certainly; to not be able to wear certain pairs of pants I once was proud to fit into. I started cutting today... but this time, I'm only going so far, so as to protect my existing lean mass. I eventually want to pick up another 20lbs of lean mass, and at my age, without steroids and because of certain health matters, it will be a very slow process :mad: but again, you have to keep your eye on the end game.

All that said, if you are truly ballooning up too fast (you are keeping measurements I hope?) then something is ary in your workout intensity, diet or both. That's just a matter of tweaks and improvements. :)

well i weighed in at 215 lbs at 12.1 percent bodyfat, that would leave what 190 as lean body mass, i started adding extra food...the funny thing is i found myself being hungrier and hungrier....

it is a mental thing though..trying to stay lean and get biggger doesnt really work...but all the advice ive been giving as that cutting down further wouldnt be a good idea for me.....



i noticed that i wake up feeling a bit fuller and sorta overall bloated from the high carb intake then meals after right before bed...im thinking of switching to a am workout instead...

what do you think

I think if you go slowly, and do like a clean bulk, you shouldn't gain much fat..... and still, fat-no-fat, you will look better IMO.

I was also soooo afraid, and now looking at my pictures I look better on a clean bulk then skinny anyway...

Good luck, I think you will look amazing even bulking! I know you will!! :tu:

Remember I told you about this before.

The biggest issue you are not taking into consideration is to accept the fact that the loose skin that you have on your lower abdomen is going to always lend that "squishy" look/feeling, and there is nothing you can do about that except for surgery, bottom line. That is there to stay, unless you introduce the knife. Genetics also play a role in how much you are able to progress toward the physique example you presented.

Either stay lean and don't BINGE or bulk and just do it, but you'll have to get over the mind games and stressing over it all the time and just make a decision and stick with it. Being all over the place changing your mind 24/7 is never going to get you anywhere.

~SC~