okay so after cutting cutting cutting for a year plus, and stressing , and stressing...you know how it goes, measure this , dont mix that, time this, eat this then , dont eat that then..just the stress that CAN come from dieting....<ah HA!..thats the thing..its not supposed to be a "DIET"...were making lifestyle changes...

what im getting at is this....starting at 350 , YES!, something drastic had to be done..i needed to get the fat off...i feel like ive achieved this for the most part(of course i have areas id love to be firmer, or less pudge)..and i get caught up with weighing myself daily , beating myself up skipping a cardio session , reading a new "theory" and questioning my entire nutrition program , wondering if over ate , under ate, am i burning fat , or muscle..

it s hard..once you make that switch to caring..its almost like you care too much..when i was fat i didnt care at all what i ate...so i educated myself and now sometimes i think i know too much, i shouldnt beat myself up over wanting something that isnt according to plan...

basically ive learned the difference between what is good , and what is not...i feel like for the most part i know how to make healthy choices throughout the day ..,i no longer feel the need to "eatmy feelings" and i enjoy training very much ,but an example of this is this morning i woke up after an extremly tough leg workout last night, not really wanting to do cardio..so i didnt....and i didnt really want to make breakfast , so i walked to a delicattessen, and got a sandwich...without even thinking ordered it on pumpernickle(thats a low gi choice) with no mayo , and no cheese....so i was left with chicken , a slice of bacon lettuce and tomato....on my way out the baked goods grabbed me...and yeah i had an apple pie muffin thing..(sugar!....we know this isnt great for a weight loss goal)....the rest of my day will be normal ,and i will have my meals as planned...but really every so often just doing what you want isnt going to kill you...its not going to bring all the fat you lost barrelling back...its taken me a while to try to find a middle ground...i never plan on competing, taking pictures, or being a body builder....i just didnt want to be fat....now i can see lines in my stomach and on good days and ab or two can sorta show through....im going to keep pushing , and training...and am still looking into new programs to start..but mainly i just want to be happy...and whether your fat or skinny you can still be a slave to food...and thats not healthy..

sorry for the rant...but ive been thinking alot about this , and just wanted to share....im not trying to de motivate anyone..., we all have different goals...i just feel like i was on a dangerous path toward an eating disorder of some sort...having binge style cheat days...now i think ive got it under control..

your thoughts welcome , and appreciatted..

Congrats dude on your weightloss.

Personally, i never had a problem with taking a workout off or anything. I'm in this for life so if i want to miss a workout (usually cardio) i don't fret it at all.

Has with nutrition i just use portion control these days. I make sure i have a serving of protein - about the size of my palm and some veggies and/or fruit in each meal. I eat oats after my workouts and that's it.

If i'm too lazy to cook, about 3x per day :D , i just get a protein shake with 40+g of protein and add some greens+ with fish oil caps.

If i was bulking i would just include nuts, cottage cheese, Natural PB etc to my shakes.

I think that's pretty simple. :)

I haven't come nearly as far as you have, but I know what you are talking about. Over the last two years I have taken a week off from working out once or twice only because of very limiting circumstances. Although I know that at one time I had no interest in lifting weights or running, I don't really remember what that was like. I've noticed this even more over the last couple months since I've been counting calories and limiting myself to a palette of nothing but steak, fish, chicken, veggies, oatmeal, etc... It wasn't that long ago that I was making fun of people for thinking about their food. Now, I don't think I'll ever again be able to eat a bacon, sausage, and pepperoni pizza or chocolate chip cookies care-free. It's an interesting feeling.

In fact, I find that I'm having a hard time relating to people who don't work out or watch their diet.

Last night I had dinner with an ex-girlfriend of mine... As she ordered a chicken salad (I had the house sirloin with two sides of broccoli) I actually applauded her choice. Then I asked how things were going at the gym and she said she had stopped because she "just didn't care". I just sat there staring at her perplexed for a minute.

Last week my father overheard me discussing calorie intake with my mother and approached me about it later, with moderate concern, asking why I was keeping track of such a thing since I have never had a problem with my weight. I didn't know what to say because at this point, to me, it just seems that leaving my caloric intake to chance is just plain wrong.

Is it healthy? I guess we just have to weigh the good stuff (looking better, getting treated better, being more confident) with the bad (being tempted to skip out of dinner at a restaraunt with friends because we don't know exactly what is in the food).

Tim

I haven't come nearly as far as you have, but I know what you are talking about. Over the last two years I have taken a week off from working out once or twice only because of very limiting circumstances. Although I know that at one time I had no interest in lifting weights or running, I don't really remember what that was like. I've noticed this even more over the last couple months since I've been counting calories and limiting myself to a palette of nothing but steak, fish, chicken, veggies, oatmeal, etc... It wasn't that long ago that I was making fun of people for thinking about their food. Now, I don't think I'll ever again be able to eat a bacon, sausage, and pepperoni pizza or chocolate chip cookies care-free. It's an interesting feeling.

In fact, I find that I'm having a hard time relating to people who don't work out or watch their diet.

Last night I had dinner with an ex-girlfriend of mine... As she ordered a chicken salad (I had the house sirloin with two sides of broccoli) I actually applauded her choice. Then I asked how things were going at the gym and she said she had stopped because she "just didn't care". I just sat there staring at her perplexed for a minute.

Last week my father overheard me discussing calorie intake with my mother and approached me about it later, with moderate concern, asking why I was keeping track of such a thing since I have never had a problem with my weight. I didn't know what to say because at this point, to me, it just seems that leaving my caloric intake to chance is just plain wrong.

Is it healthy? I guess we just have to weigh the good stuff (looking better, getting treated better, being more confident) with the bad (being tempted to skip out of dinner at a restaraunt with friends because we don't know exactly what is in the food).

Tim

Nothing wrong with some tutkey bacon or sausage every once in while. Especially if you trying to increase weight.

I picked up a a few packs of turkey bacon the other day. I just throw in a few slices with my eggs whites and veggies. :)

. . . . I still struggle!!

I'm 22 and went through that huge weight loss when I was going on 17. Things have *not* been normal since, and I've had some serious relapse issue's as well which have been pretty scary. I dipped into anorexia so bad I had a weight rebound like you would not believe. I'm only just starting to recover from the damage I did through anorexia, which was almost a year ago!!

Let go of the love of my life over the anorexia stint, I'll never forgive myself for letting an eating disorder gain that much control in my life.

I remember eating nothing but a few tbls's of flax seed oil once a day for weeks at a time, it wasn't pretty.

After looking at it all real hard and listening to everyone around me, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to have to live with the fact that I can't have perfection!!!! I'm an above average looking guy (as I'm sure you are now, but don't really believe you are) with the confidence of a 350 pounder! OK, maybe I'm not that unsure of myself anymore, but I'm never pleased with my appearance, even when I should be and am constantly reassured by the people in my life that I look great! For some reason I can't see it as truth, ever, drives me nuts.

I'm guessing you're pretty hard on yourself like this as well.

Accept yourself as you are *RIGHT NOW* man. Being thiner/more ripped will get you nothing if you can't even setup a decent life around you. Being content in life is a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WEIGHT.

You'll still always think you could look better, and the thing is, you're probably right. But why on earth would you hold yourself up to a standard that's ruining your life dude???? You have like zero confidence right now, when really, you should have *MORE* than most any normal joe out there who has never ventured into the world of nutrition.

As heartless as it sounds, nobody cares what you look like :spank:.

Sure people will worry for you if you're waddeling around at 350 pounds, but you're not 350 right now are you? You're normal now!!! Whatever you do with your body at this point is seen as above average, or, back tracking. You do *not* need to constantly make physical progress to be *normal*. Normal is maintaining a weight range, not being ripped/insanely lean from constant exercise. Looking above average takes work, you can either handle that work load at this point in your life, or you can't.

If you're at a point in your life where you're willing to put out that kind of work, good for you! If you're not, that's fine man!!

Sit back, enjoy life and make good food choice's. Exercise when your body tells you you're getting lazy or setup an exercise plan you can do that's actually enjoyable.

Bottom line, living life beating yourself up for not going that extra mile is retarded. I only say this because I did that exact thing for about 4 years straight, and my life was hell because of it.

Your biggest hurdle will be letting go of the dieting mentality and fear of eating. I know it's scary, but you've got to let yourself step into the real world and stop letting your busy mind be jailed up by a food item dude. Ask yourself how often you actually care what anyone looks like, then ask yourself if you think they think any differently.

They don't. As long as your Girl has the hots for you and you know you've got decent knowledge on good/bad foods, you're set. Start moving forward with your career, hobbie's and before you know it, you'll start seeing a busy life makes keeping your weight even *EASY*. In fact, my efforts to keep busy and step away from food thoughts usually gets me eating to little and inevitably droping weight, so trust me, weight management is *not* hard. It all comes down to lifestyle in the long run.

Endulging in a pastry every once in a while is 10 million times better for you than beating yourself up over fear of weight gain. Let that fear go man, you've no clue how incredibly uncomfortable it is to gain over 100 pounds. You'd never do that to yourself again, trust me. You slap yourself silly and buck up after about 20 pounds of discomfort. Excess weight is going to bother you way more than it ever has now, that in itself is and will protect you from gaining.


Junk food will always be a problem for anyone who has weighed over 300 pounds man, period. You need to start a forward thinking plan to make sure you can protect your weight even in your weakest moments. People like you and I need to be a little more mentally diligent in our healthy lifestyle efforts. Messing with sugar is like messing with cocain for some people, you just kinna start to depend on the fix if you use it to much.

Anywho. Calm your mind down and start building a cocky attitude about food and weight. You need to stick to facts. If you eat to much, you're gonna get fat, if you eat healthy, you're gonna feel better about yourself on a lot of different levels.

You absolutely MUST stop beating yourself up (guilt over eating junk is hard in itself, don't make it worse by dwelling on it, think about what you're gonna do to keep your cheats to a minimum insted!), and you absolutely MUST bring you're physical expectation's down to a sain at a completely normal weight, you don't need to be Super Man anymore buddy, you're gonna fail if you keep thinking you've got a crap loan of work to do.

Get a therapist, it's time to step out of your dieting world you had to create for yourself.

You know what they say about being idle? Its the devils workplace . . . Time to be a man and start fighting those feelings that make you feel helpless, you're not man!

-Brian
Norbert_231@yahoo.com

Nothing wrong with some tutkey bacon or sausage every once in while...

But not like I was eating it before... Back at school, my roommates and I used to have "heart attack" pizza night at least once a week where we would order 3 large Dominos pizzas with as much bacon, sausage, and pepperoni as we could get. Of course, I would down it with a quart of Hershey's chocolate milk. :eat:

Tim

. . . . I still struggle!!

I'm 22 and went through that huge weight loss when I was going on 17. Things have *not* been normal since, and I've had some serious relapse issue's as well which have been pretty scary. I dipped into anorexia so bad I had a weight rebound like you would not believe. I'm only just starting to recover from the damage I did through anorexia, which was almost a year ago!!
....


^^ Good f'ing post.

Being thiner/more ripped will get you nothing if you can't even setup a decent life around you... As heartless as it sounds, nobody cares what you look like

You have a point, Brian... if you are a slave to your workout routine and diet and never let anything get in the way of it, I don't think you'll glean much happiness from it. I've read the memoirs of a number of bodybuilders who built perfect physiques at the cost of their social lives, and those are sad stories.

It is important to occassionally miss a workout to spend a day at the beach with friends, or enjoy "heart attack" pizza night and video games with my roommates once a month. Being able to do things like that enriches my life and shows that I'm still mentally healthy.

I DO think that people care what you look like, but really only to a certain point. Unless you are at the extreme end of the spectrum, either fit or unfit, most people generally won't even take notice. And then if you are abnormally muscular or lean, it won't automatically win the hearts of all the beautiful women out there. Appearance is not an end-all solution, but rather just one more thing, like intelligence or a good sense of humor or money, to have on your side. So it shouldn't take that much more time or importance over all those other areas of your being.

Even in a situation like mine where I am in the military and get tested regularly on my fitness because it is so vital to the job, I have had many discussions with my peers about the importance we place on fitness and whether it is too high.

Tim

I agree.. some excellent posts so far. It's a good reality check for me because I think that I have let this "dieting" takeover my life a bit too much...

Thanks for taking the time on these.

For sure Tim.

I'm finding people care about looks based on their own desire of who they want in their life. Laws of attraction will always stand as you've made clear. People are not selfless enough *not* to dwell upon looks as a form of assesment. That's only natural though, but you can't take a natural accurance personally.

There are however many people out there who know there's more to it than that. These are the people I'm refering to, the only people you should really be seeking in life (in my opinion). Being able to take care of yourself and be presentable is usually what counts to a better part of people out there. It's expected by most.

Different people have different standards though, you're right in countering the statement that people don't care. They just don't care in the way a person with poor self image thinks they do.

I know ladie's who don't think Brad Pitt isn't anything special, but think Tom Hanks/Denzel are the hotest men on the planet. With that statement in mind, it's insane to worry about how a better part of public see's you. There are so many different level's of acceptance out there that's it's really just self torture to let your mind be pestered with such thoughts.

Physical appearance is a lot like people always say about money... Having it cannot make you happy, but NOT having it can certainly make you unhappy. It's just a tool to help you achieve the quality of life that you are looking for.

. . . . I still struggle!!

I'm 22 and went through that huge weight loss when I was going on 17. Things have *not* been normal since, and I've had some serious relapse issue's as well which have been pretty scary. I dipped into anorexia so bad I had a weight rebound like you would not believe. I'm only just starting to recover from the damage I did through anorexia, which was almost a year ago!!

Let go of the love of my life over the anorexia stint, I'll never forgive myself for letting an eating disorder gain that much control in my life.

I remember eating nothing but a few tbls's of flax seed oil once a day for weeks at a time, it wasn't pretty.

After looking at it all real hard and listening to everyone around me, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to have to live with the fact that I can't have perfection!!!! I'm an above average looking guy (as I'm sure you are now, but don't really believe you are) with the confidence of a 350 pounder! OK, maybe I'm not that unsure of myself anymore, but I'm never pleased with my appearance, even when I should be and am constantly reassured by the people in my life that I look great! For some reason I can't see it as truth, ever, drives me nuts.

I'm guessing you're pretty hard on yourself like this as well.

Accept yourself as you are *RIGHT NOW* man. Being thiner/more ripped will get you nothing if you can't even setup a decent life around you. Being content in life is a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WEIGHT.

You'll still always think you could look better, and the thing is, you're probably right. But why on earth would you hold yourself up to a standard that's ruining your life dude???? You have like zero confidence right now, when really, you should have *MORE* than most any normal joe out there who has never ventured into the world of nutrition.

As heartless as it sounds, nobody cares what you look like :spank:.

Sure people will worry for you if you're waddeling around at 350 pounds, but you're not 350 right now are you? You're normal now!!! Whatever you do with your body at this point is seen as above average, or, back tracking. You do *not* need to constantly make physical progress to be *normal*. Normal is maintaining a weight range, not being ripped/insanely lean from constant exercise. Looking above average takes work, you can either handle that work load at this point in your life, or you can't.

If you're at a point in your life where you're willing to put out that kind of work, good for you! If you're not, that's fine man!!

Sit back, enjoy life and make good food choice's. Exercise when your body tells you you're getting lazy or setup an exercise plan you can do that's actually enjoyable.

Bottom line, living life beating yourself up for not going that extra mile is retarded. I only say this because I did that exact thing for about 4 years straight, and my life was hell because of it.

Your biggest hurdle will be letting go of the dieting mentality and fear of eating. I know it's scary, but you've got to let yourself step into the real world and stop letting your busy mind be jailed up by a food item dude. Ask yourself how often you actually care what anyone looks like, then ask yourself if you think they think any differently.

They don't. As long as your Girl has the hots for you and you know you've got decent knowledge on good/bad foods, you're set. Start moving forward with your career, hobbie's and before you know it, you'll start seeing a busy life makes keeping your weight even *EASY*. In fact, my efforts to keep busy and step away from food thoughts usually gets me eating to little and inevitably droping weight, so trust me, weight management is *not* hard. It all comes down to lifestyle in the long run.

Endulging in a pastry every once in a while is 10 million times better for you than beating yourself up over fear of weight gain. Let that fear go man, you've no clue how incredibly uncomfortable it is to gain over 100 pounds. You'd never do that to yourself again, trust me. You slap yourself silly and buck up after about 20 pounds of discomfort. Excess weight is going to bother you way more than it ever has now, that in itself is and will protect you from gaining.


Junk food will always be a problem for anyone who has weighed over 300 pounds man, period. You need to start a forward thinking plan to make sure you can protect your weight even in your weakest moments. People like you and I need to be a little more mentally diligent in our healthy lifestyle efforts. Messing with sugar is like messing with cocain for some people, you just kinna start to depend on the fix if you use it to much.

Anywho. Calm your mind down and start building a cocky attitude about food and weight. You need to stick to facts. If you eat to much, you're gonna get fat, if you eat healthy, you're gonna feel better about yourself on a lot of different levels.

You absolutely MUST stop beating yourself up (guilt over eating junk is hard in itself, don't make it worse by dwelling on it, think about what you're gonna do to keep your cheats to a minimum insted!), and you absolutely MUST bring you're physical expectation's down to a sain at a completely normal weight, you don't need to be Super Man anymore buddy, you're gonna fail if you keep thinking you've got a crap loan of work to do.

Get a therapist, it's time to step out of your dieting world you had to create for yourself.

You know what they say about being idle? Its the devils workplace . . . Time to be a man and start fighting those feelings that make you feel helpless, you're not man!

-Brian
Norbert_231@yahoo.com
YOUR post is the best journey ive heard in a long time. Awesome post and you have definitely gained alot of inside from your past.
BTW, dont beat yourself up over the past relationship, anyone that has had to deal with getting thier life back on track would be amazed that you could pull yourself out let alone make a relationship work at the same time.

lifestyle changes...

i feel like ive achieved this for the most part(of course i have areas id love to be firmer, or less pudge)..and i get caught up with weighing myself daily , beating myself up skipping a cardio session , reading a new "theory" and questioning my entire nutrition program , wondering if over ate , under ate, am i burning fat , or muscle..

basically ive learned the difference between what is good , and what is not...i feel like for the most part i know how to make healthy choices throughout the day im going to keep pushing , and training...and am still looking into new programs to start..but mainly i just want to be happy...and whether your fat or skinny you can still be a slave to food...and thats not healthy..

Very true, you don't have to be up tight, afraid that anything you do will throw you back into the body you carried around for a long time. You are beginning to like this new body, you just need a few muscles here and there. You can get that job done in say three months. Then you just have to maintain. You want to stay active for a lifetime. You know what got you to 315 and you know how you got to 205. Now put the finishing touches on and balance things out. Maintenance is a lifetime proposition, it is like getting on a float in a swimming pool and just lying there. A real point of balance. :cool:

i agree with everything said.....some really awesome posts and advice...!!...

lately ive been analyzing health and fitness...just looking to see what other people are eating...a perfect example ..yesterday my co-worker wanted me to get him some snacks from the store...soi did..he wanted
Pop tarts
and Doritos...

so i get a small bag of doritos, and the pack of pop tarts(2 poptarts)
for him.....i looked at the nutrition facts and was floored...

combined this was almost 1000 calories, and something close to 60 grams of fat, around 100 carbs , and minimal protien...
i couldnt believe it..i havent looked at food like that in so long that i forgot what it contained..he ate that, and then not even an hour later ordered out for chinese.......this is a very very non active person....

it just amases me the choices that are out there....and watching people make those choices frightens me...especially day in day out.....

it also brings my mind to ease knowing, that my meals contain about 400 cals each.....and doing that day in day out, with a slip up here and there is a far more healthy way to live...

and if i take a day off every once in a while , or miss a meal , or skip a workout ..its okay...because a majority of people dont get off there asses to do anything except go to the drive through at mcdonalds and come home a waste in front of a television.......

i agree with everything said.....some really awesome posts and advice...!!...

lately ive been analyzing health and fitness...just looking to see what other people are eating...a perfect example ..yesterday my co-worker wanted me to get him some snacks from the store...soi did..he wanted
Pop tarts
and Doritos...

so i get a small bag of doritos, and the pack of pop tarts(2 poptarts)
for him.....i looked at the nutrition facts and was floored...

combined this was almost 1000 calories, and something close to 60 grams of fat, around 100 carbs , and minimal protien...
i couldnt believe it..i havent looked at food like that in so long that i forgot what it contained..he ate that, and then not even an hour later ordered out for chinese.......this is a very very non active person....

it just amases me the choices that are out there....and watching people make those choices frightens me...especially day in day out.....

it also brings my mind to ease knowing, that my meals contain about 400 cals each.....and doing that day in day out, with a slip up here and there is a far more healthy way to live...

and if i take a day off every once in a while , or miss a meal , or skip a workout ..its okay...because a majority of people dont get off there asses to do anything except go to the drive through at mcdonalds and come home a waste in front of a television.......

Yeah some of the sugar laden treats are mind blowing when you look at the contents.

I find i'm more sensitive to commerials too - like i seen a Dunkin Donuts commerials the other day and it was saying "American runs on Dunkins" or something to that effect and it show what they apparently "run on". Well i'd say whoever runs on that is overweight, tried and having a lot of headaches with huge insulin spikes. :doh:

Yeah some of the sugar laden treats are mind blowing when you look at the contents.

I find i'm more sensitive to commerials too - like i seen a Dunkin Donuts commerials the other day and it was saying "American runs on Dunkins" or something to that effect and it show what they apparently "run on". Well i'd say whoever runs on that is overweight, tried and having a lot of headaches with huge insulin spikes. :doh:

But I bet you really wanted a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee after seeing it! :drool:

But I bet you really wanted a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee after seeing it! :drool:

Never been in one before. :D

We have tim hortons around here.