buttered on toast! or with jam ? jokes aside, i always thought most women prefer their men bulky and ripped... however the more i talk to women i realise that although women like lean men, reasonably built showing good strength, the ripped Mr. Universe is not exactly the average woman's dream....for some it is actually repulsive

any thoughts

My girlfriend in high school: "I don't want my man to be too big."

And her now: "You look bigger, and that's hot."

I like 'em all :) But I suppose I gravitate more towards the median, not swinging too much in either direction. As far as bigger goes, however, it just looks downright odd standing next to some guys for me cause the difference in size is comical :lol: (Ok so it's comical standing next to anyone for me! :o ) I'd be afraid to be on the bottom anyway ;) Although with all those pushups and bench presses they do I guess they could hold their own for a while :neener:

i always thought most women prefer their men bulky and ripped... however the more i talk to women i realise that although women like lean men, reasonably built showing good strength, the ripped Mr. Universe is not exactly the average woman's dream....for some it is actually repulsive

This might be generational. Just as men of different generations have had different preferences, women do too. I'm pretty sure Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and even Tom Hanks will have been very much preferred to say, Arnold Schwarzenegger in surveys of attractiveness to women in general.

This doesn't mean that Arnold is out of luck, though. My old trainer told me a story about when he went clubbing once with my current trainer Kenny. They were used to having a crowd of women hanging on them, but one night, all those women suddenly deserted them. After a few minutes they figured out what had happened when they found Derek Jeter had showed up and was almost struggling to get to a table while he was encrusted with women. (This was in New York City but Derek is probably a threat anywhere he goes) Well it's nice to know that there are some women out there who are attracted to big strong men. But you have to wonder if those particular women are the women you, as a man, would be hoping to meet.

Which doesn't stop us from using this as a prod. One of the trainers at my gym is a woman who is extremely fit and quite strong. Her son, on the other hand, is very tall and too thin and doesn't want to work out even though he's going to college on a basketball scholarship. At one point the kid visited the gym and I think she had Andre and Kenny show him some stuff, and she asked me to show the kid how to pistol squat. I think he was utterly bored with watching some grandpaps drop a few pistols, but I added in conversation with her "so he saw Kenny and Andre at it, did he?" She said yes. Kenny and Andre's workouts are not legendary, but they should be. The kid was expressionless - just more stuff his mom made him do. I said "you want him to work out, have him go to a club with them and he'll figure it out in under a minute." She laughed pretty hard. But the kid's eyes got really big. I guess that part hadn't occurred to him yet.

I always find this an interesting discussion. I think there was an article over at T-Nation about women's opinions on bodybuilder-sized men versus really lean guys.

My girlfriend likes me and the muscles and stuff, but she also didn't know me when I was more of a lardo - and I've never been skinny/scrawny/small.

I figure if I'm not too outrageously big, then I shouldn't have much to worry about. I tend to think we can all agree that if a gal was forced to be with a bigger man, they'd choose the one with the better body composition... (assuming personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. was the same or not part of the equation)

It is indeed an interesting discussion, but if you think about it this does not really matter to most JSF members. Not many people here are going to end up "IFBB bodybuilder huge," for several reasons.

People should never look at a barbell and become afraid of looking like the guys or girls in Flex Magazine. For 99% of the population, that type of look is not going to happen. Thinking that you'll end up with the look of someone on the Olympia stage is a bad reason for both men and women to shy away from something that is good for you, weightlifting.

Hopefully these points are obvious but you never know! :) Ahem... "I don't want to lift weights and look like a man." :bang: :lol:

(in other thread)
hey ! sorry i didnt notice this thread and ive posted one very similar elsewhere. but i'd say guava's on the dot, and yeah i guess if you re married or thinking of marrying somebody the feeding issue would flit though your mind.

I think i'd go with a medium type. Just think about the attention this other guy would be getting, he's probably an airhead (and not by choice). Besides for a relationship to work, the girl should be the better admired one. The biggest reason would be that men have the attention span of ... well it would definitely have to be more than a gold fish but much less than a monkey! They get easily distracted by the other she-fish in the school.

Not going terribly off track, i think youd want to be with someone who doesnt look like he'd accidentally bulldose you if you crossed his way.

Hmm, I'm confused, didn't you start this thread? :confused:

Hmm, I'm confused, didn't you start this thread? :confused:
She did, but then she found this one:
http://forums.johnstonefitness.com/showthread.php?t=21795

Ha, can't pass this one up! :D

I think my perspective is a little different, due to the fact that I am a professional artist AND a personal trainer/fitness fanatic. Ok, and I'm no pixie.

Asthetically (artist perspective) I like the exceptionally lean, because I admire form and motion. But it's not necessarily an attractiveness issue. I have done a lot of work with male nude models (ok, that sounds so wrong, but it was on the up & up, I SWEAR! :D *ahem* ) and the more defined they were, the more enthralled I was with the subject.

However, on a physical "woohoo! take me with you!" level that much definition (the exceptionally low BF%) is too much. I guess with art, there is a sort of "out of the ordinary" quality that one seeks. Perfection beyond perfection. But with the attraction level there is the "healthy look" that I like. But I DO like a lot of muscle on a man. Not so much he can't breath, mind you... but a good portion.

In the end, different people are attracted to different elements. Some men want women who are so thin they could break if you sneezed. Some men want women who are more solid. Some men prefer women who are muscular. The list is endless. And it's a good thing too, otherwise I'd be in a rocking chair knitting for the rest of my life singing "someday my prince will come". :confused:

And I can't knit.

Could this go back to our primal underlying tendencies when we were living in caves and hunting for food back in the day? Only the strong survived? The female species looked for a protective male, i.e., healthy and strong, while the male seeked out a female for producing offspring and to clean up the cave and cook his food. :D

PS. I do believe there is something attractive about "child bearing hips"

my preference...as far as fit/working-out guys go....I don't like them too lean like marathon runners....or scrawny but ripped.....but I don't like them so bulky and muscular that their thighs are thicker than my torso!:D

Well-built with lots of weight training in their life! LOL....I'm not much off a leg/butt girl, but I can forget what I'm doing when the right guy takes off his shirt and his shoulders/pec/biceps pop!:D

Tall, over 6'0 with blue eyes and dark hair. I have always had a thing for distinct blue eyes.

Not heavy, but not too thin. healthy and in shape. good teeth is a big one for me. I like some good muscle tone and definition, but none of this body- builder physique. gag.

Wrap me up in a nice set of arms and I'm a happy girl ;)

If they're too muscular, they can't keep up with me on a run, if they're too scrawny, I could show 'em up in the gym. Either one of these is a huge turn off for me. Give me a nice athletic looking guy, a balance of both strength and endurance.

Not a woman, but based on my impressions, it's very difficult for most guys to get too bulky for a woman in terms of muscle. Very easy for them to get what they consider bulky from muscle but actually it's muscle and a liberal helping of belly fat. I think the majority of women will prioritize fat over muscle; i.e., doesn't matter how big the guy's arms are if he's got a pot belly. Very lean with moderate build is preferred by almost all women over more muscle and more fat. High muscle and low fat isn't bad, but few men will actually get to that point.

Remember, a guy with 18" arms on the beach who's pushing 20+% bodyfat isn't what the average lady considers attractive. If another guy walks along with 15" arms but a 7% bodyfat, he's the one who'll get the second looks!

Also not a woman, but most women that I've dated (who are basically not the fitness/diet-obsessed found on this forum) usually prefer a guy who doesn't look better than they do. If he's more obsessed with his abs, hair, car, or money, then he's less likely to be paying attention to the needs of his lady. I'm not saying that the people here are this way, but we know the bulk of muscle-building goons are those guys.

All the guys I know that are "muscular goons'' have no trouble at all attracting women. Especially when you combine muscular with a "hot" car and keep the "goof" attitude in check.

Then there's the rest of the guys I know who look average and don't get laid one-third as often as the muscular guys.

One of my co-workers is a natural. Doesn't work out at all but plays squash now and then. But he's built like Rambo. He is a walking "chick-magnet".

All the fat guys I know don't do too well with the ladies. Even fat guys that have great personalities.

However if your net disposable income is in the six-figure bracket, then you can eat all you want and skip the workouts.

(By the way...didn't they do a survey once and it turned out the number one trait women liked in men was warmth and a sense of humor?);)

I like my men thin but muscular with a nice tight butt.They also have to be atleast 6'3". I married so the basic description was of my hubby ( just incase he reads this)!

What about us midgets at 5'10??? Do women really like taller guys 6ft and over? Guess it's time to buy some platform shoes and padded briefs :nod:

Tall, but not too tall. Between 5'10" and 6'2" works best for me (I'm only 5'3") Lean and musclular, but not big. I'm not attracted to the super sized veiny arms. I love ripped abs and nice firm shoulders. NO beer belly please!!

What about us midgets at 5'10??? Do women really like taller guys 6ft and over? Guess it's time to buy some platform shoes and padded briefs :nod:
If you're a "midget" at 5'10", I'd be royally screwed at 5'6" would that I were a single guy.

-R

What about us midgets at 5'10??? Do women really like taller guys 6ft and over? Guess it's time to buy some platform shoes and padded briefs :nod:

Well, those of us who are a smidge over 5'10 ourselves would prefer a taller guy, I admit that. BUT - my husband is actually about 1/2 an inch shorter than I am...

which brings me nicely into the whole "well I thought we were just talking physical attributes with nothing else considered" point, but the guys vered on the women's and in here....LOL :)

If a woman will date and marry based on a checkbook balance, she isn't worth the price that guy paid for her. :nono: That's as bad as saying a woman can be anything as long as she has a big enough set of boobs. :mad:

And as far as men who are heavy not having much luck with the women, well heavy women don't have much luck with the men either. I think that being very heavy speaks to how much you care for your own life and yourself. No one wants to be around someone who doesn't care, or worse feels it's ok to abuse what you have. It's like a walking billboard that you aren't willing to take care of what's yours, even if it's YOU - so how would you be in a relationship with someone who might need you from time to time?

And being that I used to be the fat-girl, I speak from experience here.

If you want to talk a well rounded picture, what I would want in a man, it's a bigger list, in NO particular order because they're ALL valid:

Health (doesn't have to be ripped, but I won't complain :D )
Intelligence
Ambition and drive
Sensitivity to others
NOT preoccupied with himself
Sense of humor
The ability to LISTEN and reconsider when the moment warrants
Loyalty
A sense of value, both of himself and of others


Looks fade, Bank accounts empty, it's the PERSON who matters.

i dont remember if i already posted my preferences here, even though i started this thread :p
I think i would want my man to look agile and lithe. Not necessarily ripped,.. but... someone you would want to imagine running naked in the wild (ok that's a bit over the top) i think the extra bulky look is a little unnatural. But strong enough to be able to push some load around. :nod: Not that i would be making him do a lot of work... (i have a hard time accepting help in lugging my load)... but i'm not exactly built for strength:D , and at times my back will give.


My standard is: how good it would feel if the guy gave me a hug. Oh and i always notice the hands! No, i feel the hands... make sure i get a handshake and see how perfectly our hands fit! or otherwise

Oh but then there are other things like virtues blah blah blah and lifestyle (which believe it or not is a pretty big deal).

There was once a guy at work who was so interested in me he must've proposed atleast four times and then asked me to reconsider... i might've said yes based on just the fact that i would've been comfortable but ... his lifestyle was so blah! he was very ambitious (which isn't a bad thing) but a total workaholic, he didn't have fun, he didnt work out or eat healthy, infact he didnt eat at all (he was practically starving himself to stay slim). I pointed this out to him on various occassions, but the thing is you just can't go around changing other ppl's lifestyles. And Justitia might understand this (i think she had a similar post somewhere) but every time i looked at him all i could think was "dude! you're killing yourself"

If a woman will date and marry based on a checkbook balance, she isn't worth the price that guy paid for her.

You ever see a puppy that gets confused and tilts it's head, with one ear up?

There's a whole bunch of thin blonde women on the Upper East Side of Manhattan looking at you like that.

Don't sweat it though. They all end up with the right guys for them. Here on Wall Street I got a ringside seat for this sort of thing.

Ideally, I would go for dark brown or black hair, light eyes, fairly sharp facial features, and a build like a big-screen actor preparing for a shirtless role (think Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Christian Bale).

If someone like that crossed my path, wanted to date me, and had the personality to back it up, that'd be great.

Of course, I'm not in the best of shape yet, so I don't expect that. I used to be one of those girls who was all 'ew, chest hair!'. This was back in the teen years. I've dated a few guys in recent history who have been 'teddy bears', though. Not obese, persay (completely and totally not attracted to obese or scrawny), but slightly overweight/stocky. Actually, both were in the process of losing weight and strength training, even. Both chunky mesomorphs like myself, and both hairy guys.

So yeah, as I long as I'm attracted to the face and the personality, I don't mind if they're a bit thick. It's pretty much how I am, and the chest fuzzies keep me warm and well-cuddled:nod:

PS. I do believe there is something attractive about "child bearing hips"

I agree 100% ! - its usually human instinct and gut feel that attract two people.

Oh but then there are other things like virtues blah blah blah and lifestyle (which believe it or not is a pretty big deal).

There was once a guy at work who was so interested in me he must've proposed atleast four times and then asked me to reconsider... i might've said yes based on just the fact that i would've been comfortable but ... his lifestyle was so blah! he was very ambitious (which isn't a bad thing) but a total workaholic, he didn't have fun, he didnt work out or eat healthy, infact he didnt eat at all (he was practically starving himself to stay slim). I pointed this out to him on various occassions, but the thing is you just can't go around changing other ppl's lifestyles. And Justitia might understand this (i think she had a similar post somewhere) but every time i looked at him all i could think was "dude! you're killing yourself"


:nod: :nod: :nod: :lol:

I like my men not too big more fat than muscle I want a fit man but I also want him to be meaty I don't want Skin and Bones its not attractive on men like it is Women more so its not attractive on either Male or Female so I want a lil of both Muscle and Fat

I dunno. The gigantic guys usually live at the gym, and I like a guy who has time for other things, so if I were dating (heaven forbid) I'd likely steer clear of a guy with a huge ripped physique.

Moderation can be a good thing.

What do I like in a guy? He's gotta smell just right.

My opinion on guys:

Personally, I consider good looks as icing on the cake, as it's the personality that wins me over... HOWEVER, I could never see myself with some one who did not value their health and lifestyle to a high degree.
With that said, I never have really gone for the uber-muscular-Mr.-Universe types. What really gets me to do a double take, is a guy with definition in his muscles (noticable without flexing). I liked toned guys- this can be with any type of guy; lanky, skinny, short, tall, etc.
Lucky for me, I found one who is medium in height, weight, and is now going balls to the walls with his weight lifting and sculpting routine. (Not to mention, he's got the icing on the cake handsome features too!)
:love:

What do I like in a guy? He's gotta smell just right.


Ooooooooooh yeah!

:lol:

This thread would have been easier with photos of what you meant. But I kinda figured you women enjoyed describing your favourite type of man.. :D

Ohhh, pictures.

Here's (http://www.americansuperstarmag.com/photos/galleries/johnnydepp1.jpg)one of my future husband. Note that he does not have a particularly muscular physique, nor in fact many of the things I'd likely list in a hypothetical, um, partner.

So you see fellas, it goes way beyond physique.

So you see fellas, it goes way beyond physique.
But I can't grow good looking facial hair! :cry:

If you look like Johnny, come visit me, with or without facial hair.

Ooooooooooh yeah!

What is that "just right smell"??? I normally spray a mist of Cool Water in the air and walk through it.

How about fresh breath/good hygeine??? I brush and floss daily:D

I really liked Savyart's comments...that goes for either sex :nod:

Sorry, the just right smell cannot be manufactured. It's right or it isn't. Actually, I think it's more important than the look. Prob'ly pheremones or something, I don't know.

Of course good hygiene is essential, that ought to go without saying, right?

(By the way...didn't they do a survey once and it turned out the number one trait women liked in men was warmth and a sense of humor?);)

I think that's the "What I tell myself that I like best" survey.

...possibly in Men's Health, but I recall reading that women, in a boyfriend, preferred a well-muscled man, not too ripped, but strong. The example they used was Brad Pitt, from Thelma and Louise.

21309

When seeking a short term relationship, (i.e. one night stand), they still preferred a man with muscles, but a bit more lean and cut. The example for that, was Brad Pitt, in Fight Club.

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Ladies, do you agree?

What is that "just right smell"??? I normally spray a mist of Cool Water in the air and walk through it.

How about fresh breath/good hygeine??? I brush and floss daily:D

I really liked Savyart's comments...that goes for either sex :nod:


For me... the "just right" smell is what a guy smells like without the aid of cologne. Everyone has their own scent, and this is the one that makes girls smell their boyfriend's/husband's shirts when they're gone.

Good hygeine is a given!! There shouldnt be any question about that. :lol:

However... my #1 turn-on: Sense of humor

(But physically it's sculpted back and toned arms- not too bulky)