How many of you guys ever sit with one leg crossed over the other?
How many of you feel comfortable or relaxed sitting in that position?
How many of you can't do that without feeling physically uncomfortable? (that's me)

I mean any one or all of these postures:

1. back of one knee lapped over top of the other knee, lower leg dangling out front with foot off ground - propping leg's foot supports both legs. (I have seen women sit like this more often than men. I cannot do it without feeling like I've put my balls in a vise – my thighs are not flabby.)

2. one leg up, with ankle or lower part of lower leg resting on knee, or on top of other thigh where it meets the knee – the leg that's up makes a L shape, not counting the foot. (This I have done, to "look like the rest of the guys" - but it's always been painful.)

3. How about just plain sitting on the floor, with your thighs on the ground, lower legs bent so that they tuck your ankles inside your thighs? (Isn't this "Indian style?") I have not been able to sit that way since I was about 8 years young.

This came up today while chatting in the office about general flexibility. I have flexibility - but maybe not like most people have it.

Honestly, I cannot feel comfortable sitting any of those ways. I sometimes feel like I've got the weirdest body in the world, when I see people who seem able to sit cross-legged naturally and be completely relaxed. It's pure agony for me to even try. The most I can do is cross my ankles. I'm most comfortable sitting when both my feet are touching the floor. Every martial arts or P.E. class I was ever in, I hurt myself trying to get into those common sitting positions, if even just for part of warm-up. I swear, I have had more groin strains than any other muscle pull – most often, as result of trying to stretch so that I could join the rest of humanity and "sit normally."

My theory is that there is just something unusual in the way my body has grown. My hip sockets are much farther apart than most guys', and/or my thigh bones are not joined into my pelvis like they are in most people, and/or my thighs are thicker than most. Or so my theory goes...

It is a fact that my legs are longer, proportionally, than most – and I have thick, muscular thighs. I'm a pale shadow of my dad – in his prime he had a 28-inch waist and a 37-inch inseam, 6 feet 3, all-around jock. (With his long, skinny, wiry arms and legs, he was nicknamed Spider.) I just never had the chance to talk about this with him. I saw him sit knee-on-knee lots of times, but never the other cross-legged ways.

I ask all this and blabber all this, because it's gotten to a point of baffled humiliation with me. I cannot bend over and touch my toes with my legs straight and feet together, without tearing my back. I cannot do any of the common stretches where guys lay their legs out straight, knees locked. If I did that, my hamstrings would tear right in half or snap off at one of their ends.

And yet, go figure: the only pulled hamstring I ever had in my life didn't happen until age 47, running to first base. I was always the highest jumper on my basketball team, a sprinter, a long-jumper, a cross-country runner, downhill and water skier, "Mr. Stretch" at first base…but sit for yoga or stretch for judo? Not on your life! WHAT GIVES?!

You're just not very flexible. While you may have a few muscle groups that aren't inordinately stiff, which leads you to believe you are not altogether inflexible, your inability to do the things you described indicates an overall lack of flexibility, and the only thing that will fix that is regular stretching.

If this is seriously a concern for you I would advise setting aside at least 30 minutes a day to do serious full-body stretching, hitting all the smaller supporting muscles in addition to the big ones like your hamstrings, quadriceps, etc. Relax into your stretches and let gravity do its job, don't try and force yourself into them. Oh, and make sure you hold each stretch for at least one minute. Anything less and you're just wasting your time.

There's no good reason at all for anyone of any age to not be able to at the very least touch their toes, and you'll find that if you keep up your stretching you'll increase your flexibility quite quickly. Not only that, but you'll find that the decreased muscle resistance makes a lot of things less tiring, as well as improves your reflexes and general speed. :gl:

A good portion of people do have poor outer-rotating hip flexibility due to bone structure, but that doesn't mean you can't become more flexible if you work at it. It's just like weight-training, only consistency and time will make progress.

I can sit in #1, #2, or #3 without pain. #1 is uncomfortable (thighs are too big) and I wouldn't do it because it tends to be a very feminine pose. I sit in #2 and #3 all the time with comfort.

Oh, and make sure you hold each stretch for at least one minute. Anything less and you're just wasting your time.
I would partially disagree. You need to hold a stretch for at least a minute to see improvement, but it doesn't have to be all at one time. 2-3 sets of 30 seconds is enough.

Thanks to you both! I especially appreciate your sorting through all my words and giving obviously knowledgeable and useful advice.

-Martin

You might want to check out a book called "Stretching Scientifically" by Thomas Kurz at Stadion.com...or...look up Pavel Tsatsoulini at Dragondoor.com. Both these guys have ways of stretching that might help you.

Belated thanks HevyMetal, I will check out those guys/books/sites!

I'm in a similar situation. I can't do #1 (thighs), #2 puts my foot to sleep (the knee pressure on my lower leg/ankle), but #3 is okay.