Simmo
Sat, September 3rd, 2005, 02:47 AM
This journal is exactly what the title says. Im gonna take my life back! Im 23 yrs old, weigh 296lbs and in the last few yrs I have sat back and watched my life pass me by and Im sick of it. Ive let my weight affect me for way too long and this is it. Im no longer willing to allow my life to control me, I am going to take control and take responsibility for where I am and where I want to be headed.
So where to begin.......?
Well I might aswell start with putting down in black in white where I am at rightnow......
Over the last few yrs Ive seen me drop out of University, detatch myself from my friends and family and become a recluse. My confidence in myself has been shot to pieces and as Im sitting here, writing this I have absolutely Zero prospects and this hurts like hell.
But thats all going to change. I need to start living my life, not worrying about the desicions I have made in the past, and not thinking about the 'What ifs'. This is going to be Day 1 in my quest to take the reigns. Whats happend has happend, I cant go back and change dropping out of Uni etc, but what I can change is the path my life is taking, I can control losing the weight, I can control getting myself that education, I can control getting a profession and living up to my potential.
A couple of days ago my biggest fear was living my life the way it is currently. But now, my biggest fear is not allowing myself the chance to see my potential in life, the potential in my physique, the potential in my education, the potential with my loved ones and with my friends.
I never thought I would say this, but Im actually excited about the journey ahead. I know it will be hardwork and I am also fully aware that Im going to be meeting alot of setbacks and alot of negative people who will try to halt me from acheiving my goals. But Im ready for them, Im ready to prove the doubters who will no doubt be waiting to tell me 'I told you so' wrong. Their pessimism will be my strength. I will focus that into my workouts and it will drive me even further to stick it to them, to say 'You doubted me, but fuck you! I still made it in spite of your shit attempts to derail me''
Its strange really because I have never been any good with words or even with sharing my feelings. As a child Ive always been bought up to be a mans man, that emotions are a weakness, so you can imagine how surreal it is for me starting this journal, knowing that people will be able to, for the first time ever know exactly what Im thinking and what Im feeling. But that is thanks to John and all the other wonderful members on this board. Its because of your wonderful triumphs and your support of others that has given me the courage to step up to the plate and swith my life around. So Id like to say a big Thankyou to everyone.
I apologise if this journal may not make sense due to my ramblings, but Im going to use this journal as a medium to keep my sanity, but also just put down my thoughts and how I feel right then and there.
Right, Im now off to take all my measurements, work out my diet plan and do all my shopping.
So where to begin.......?
Well I might aswell start with putting down in black in white where I am at rightnow......
Over the last few yrs Ive seen me drop out of University, detatch myself from my friends and family and become a recluse. My confidence in myself has been shot to pieces and as Im sitting here, writing this I have absolutely Zero prospects and this hurts like hell.
But thats all going to change. I need to start living my life, not worrying about the desicions I have made in the past, and not thinking about the 'What ifs'. This is going to be Day 1 in my quest to take the reigns. Whats happend has happend, I cant go back and change dropping out of Uni etc, but what I can change is the path my life is taking, I can control losing the weight, I can control getting myself that education, I can control getting a profession and living up to my potential.
A couple of days ago my biggest fear was living my life the way it is currently. But now, my biggest fear is not allowing myself the chance to see my potential in life, the potential in my physique, the potential in my education, the potential with my loved ones and with my friends.
I never thought I would say this, but Im actually excited about the journey ahead. I know it will be hardwork and I am also fully aware that Im going to be meeting alot of setbacks and alot of negative people who will try to halt me from acheiving my goals. But Im ready for them, Im ready to prove the doubters who will no doubt be waiting to tell me 'I told you so' wrong. Their pessimism will be my strength. I will focus that into my workouts and it will drive me even further to stick it to them, to say 'You doubted me, but fuck you! I still made it in spite of your shit attempts to derail me''
Its strange really because I have never been any good with words or even with sharing my feelings. As a child Ive always been bought up to be a mans man, that emotions are a weakness, so you can imagine how surreal it is for me starting this journal, knowing that people will be able to, for the first time ever know exactly what Im thinking and what Im feeling. But that is thanks to John and all the other wonderful members on this board. Its because of your wonderful triumphs and your support of others that has given me the courage to step up to the plate and swith my life around. So Id like to say a big Thankyou to everyone.
I apologise if this journal may not make sense due to my ramblings, but Im going to use this journal as a medium to keep my sanity, but also just put down my thoughts and how I feel right then and there.
Right, Im now off to take all my measurements, work out my diet plan and do all my shopping.