dont get me wrong, i think my friends are great love em all to bits but they just dont understand about what im trying to acomplish, they dont understand about routine,dicipline or dedication, and once when they were goign on about how i am supposeably run to much. i turned round and used the old" obbsesd is what the lazy use to decrible the didcated" long story short it didnt go down to well. ive took a few friends along to the gym before tryed to get them into it but they just dont seem bother, i think they prefer goign out and getting plasterd and eat junk food. the only one of my firends who has stuck to it, is paul. and he is a great gym buddy. never missed a session yet.

as great as they are i doubt they will ever understand what we as a community are trying to achive.
what are your friends like with you health and hitting the gym?.

ahhh... this is one thing that always got me.
i've learned over the past 1.5 years to not bring it up unless they ask about it.
and when they ask about it, i change the subject, otherwise it becomes a big huge thing.

as for trying to get my friends involved in it too - i dont need them.
i do this for me, and i dont need a spotter.
i dont need any motivation to go to the gym - i do it because that's what i do.
i let them do what they do.

if they decide they want to get into something like this and start working out, being healthy - i'll answer any question they ask.

if they're grilling out, i bring my own food.
if they go to restaurants, i order a salad with nofat dressing, or plain chicken breast if available.
if they drink.... well... i'll try not to, but i always end up downing a bottle of captain morgan instead.

edit... in addition, i was hanging out with all of them last spring when i was 100 lbs more than i am today - you wouldnt think they would even need to ask "why" im doing it anymore, yet they still do.

Well, as a very smart man posted in my journal when I first started:

This is a critical time for you. People who frequently see you will be uncomfortable with your new take on life. They will doubt your dedication to your new goals and rest assured, they will be quietly waiting for you to fail. Do what many of us here have done: prove them wrong! One of the hardest things to overcome is leaving behind old habits, because they're always there, waiting with open arms to take you back in - and right next to those habits is a barrage of people just waiting to ring out with the old adage, "I told you so!". This was something that motivated me when I started. Their pessimism became my driving force.

I still keep that in the front of my mind everyday.

Good luck!

Most of my friends are very positive about it. Results speak for themselves. There are only two kinds of friends who have given me guff over it - guy friends who are also involved in aggressive fitness regimes but don't watch what they eat, and ex-girlfriends of friends of mine with whom I am still on speaking terms. I've gotten pretty nasty emails and talking-tos from members of both camps.

Both of these groups of people are threatened by what I do, the guys because they want to keep eating what they eat and drinking heavily and don't want to think they're holding themselves back, and the girls because I fit a lot more easily into their social world as a nice, dumpy, overweight friend than as a nice, muscular, attractive friend. When you're trying to leave people behind, the last thing you want is somebody luring you back.

Thankfully, the guys eventually suck it up and improve their diet and their results, so they aren't threatened anymore, and the women, well, I don't spend nearly as much time with women like that as I used to. It's a waste of time - always was.

Most of my friends really support me in it. They joke about how they couldn't do it, and they razz on me a little, but it's really out of respect. A few of my friends have actually gotten quite a bit more into fitness as a result, and one of my roommates has lost 30 pounds over the last year just from eating what I cook.

The guys who should be upset but seem not to be are the married guys, because if their wives knew me before I got in shape, and we all meet at a party, well, they're in for quite a bit of pressure at home to put down the cookies and go exercise for a little while.

Letseee..... my friends and family... I believe the words "obsessive, stupid, annoying, pointless.." etc have come up several times.

And then since I certified for personal training it's "free consultation?" :rolleyes:

Best to not bring it up, and if asked keep it simple. And ignore evrerything else. *sigh*

Fosse,
You have to do what YOU do for YOURSELF and nobody else. This is a time in your life when it's O.K. to be selfish and self-centered. I've found that people sometimes don't want to see other people succeed or improve themselves. I'm not sure whether it's a jealousy thing or not but it's the truth. I have people tell me all the time that i've lost too much weight or my face looks drawn or something to that affect. Oddly enough, this seems to come mostly if not always from people who are in terrible shape themselves. On the other hand there are the people who put the time and effort into fitness and can appreciate the fact that you're just trying to improve yourself. They're the ones to compliment your efforts. Then there's my favorite. The person who asks" who are you trying to impress by all of this?" At that point I always respond the same way.I say " I impress myself. I really don't give a shit what anybody else thinks." Sometimes I use my sons favorite line." Don't hate the playa', hate the game".
I'm sure all of this may sound a little cocky but oh well. It's how I feel.
In short, be proud of yourself for your efforts and keep on keepin' on!

The guys who should be upset but seem not to be are the married guys, because if their wives knew me before I got in shape, and we all meet at a party, well, they're in for quite a bit of pressure at home to put down the cookies and go exercise for a little while.

Women marry for personality - not for looks. Trust me on this one.....

At least the smart ones do. If the guy shapes up - for a woman that's bonus but rarely a requirement.

At least in my expiriences with women - but hey - I married young. :lol:


My firends and I rarely talk about fitness - unless they're someone who I've come to know through fitness. Doesn't make them any less of a friend to me. And as an adult (with familys and jobs) - you don't really get anywhere near the time to spend with them anyway - not like it could get any less from me working out at lunch time.

Women marry for personality - not for looks. Trust me on this one.....

At least the smart ones do. If the guy shapes up - for a woman that's bonus but rarely a requirement.

At least in my expiriences with women - but hey - I married young. :lol:

Yeah, I'm glad it's never a serious thing.

But I know these conversations go on because they have them in front of me when I'm visiting. It's a little awkward, but the guy usually just smiles and nods.

Maybe they're just happy to have something new to talk about.

Everyone who experiences a true shift in paradigms consistent with a transformation of body, and therefore of lifestyle, will experience discomfort with friends.

Any "friends" who criticized me, poked fun, or otherwise preferred I remain my former miserable self have been expunged from my world. I don't believe in surrounding myself with negative influences anymore. Therefore, when I got healthy and realized that being around certain friends or groups of friends was not conducive to my forward progress, I simply phased those people of out of my life. The ones who were true friends sought me after the fact and have accepted who I've become. The rest have long since been left behind.

Bottom line? Do what's right for you. What's good for you. If you leave friends behind because of it, so be it. New friends will come, and since you're moving in a positive direction, you will likely find friends who share that need for positive growth. That in turn pushes you to be better... and you push them to be better... it's symbiotic. I've even found a few of those people from this silly little piece of software we call a web board sitting on John's server. You find friends and good influences in the strangest of places... usually when you're not looking.

-R

i tell you what else gets to me. when im..

BULKING- my dad_ your getting fat
CUTTING-my dad_your getting way to skinny.
ergh you cant win lol.

and the other day the girlfriend goes" oh your putting wait on, wheres the 6 pac going, and u know i try to explain about bulking only god knows how many times ive tried to explain. lol

Women marry for personality - not for looks. Trust me on this one.....


What?!? God damn it! So, I've been wasting the past year of my life eating healthy for nothing?!?

ahhh... this is one thing that always got me.
i've learned over the past 1.5 years to not bring it up unless they ask about it.
and when they ask about it, i change the subject, otherwise it becomes a big huge thing.

as for trying to get my friends involved in it too - i dont need them.
i do this for me, and i dont need a spotter.
i dont need any motivation to go to the gym - i do it because that's what i do.
i let them do what they do.

if they decide they want to get into something like this and start working out, being healthy - i'll answer any question they ask.

if they're grilling out, i bring my own food.
if they go to restaurants, i order a salad with nofat dressing, or plain chicken breast if available.
if they drink.... well... i'll try not to, but i always end up downing a bottle of captain morgan instead.

edit... in addition, i was hanging out with all of them last spring when i was 100 lbs more than i am today - you wouldnt think they would even need to ask "why" im doing it anymore, yet they still do.

I just checked out your muscletank site. Great Pics...put more up...an inspiration for all of us....Congrats on a wonderful and steady accomplishments. ANd no, I cannot understand your friedns' quizzing at all...They probably thing all need to do just was just stop pigging out and be "normal"...so why do you have to do all this sh*t?...I wonder if it clicks for any of them about thedifferences when you all have your shirts off at the beacn. Because even if they are slim, if they are not working out, they do not have abs like yours.... ;)

Keep at it and in ten years when you're still doing it and your friends are all starting to look like the typical adult (mishapen, beer belly, etc.) and you're the one that their wives are saying "wow, he's thin!" they'll understand and shut up about it.

Most of these folks (friends) are not deliberately being unkind. They just aren't thinking. Your (our) change is disturbing and they are thoughtlessly responding. Does it hurt and is it frustrating and does it drag you down? Yes.

I like what bluestreak said. Moveon. (Does this advice surprise anyone given my board name?)

For the friends you want to keep, talk straight with them. If they still drag you down, ask yourself, "does a friend drag a friend down?" I say nope. Therefore you need to seriously ask yourself, "why am I still hanging around with someone who isn't really my friend (this is a hard question--the real answer will challenge you).

Don't spend long being angry with them though. Any of us may have (in pre-fitness times) done the same thing to someone else. We just don't remember it because at the time it didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Moveon.

i tell you what else gets to me. when im..

BULKING- my dad_ your getting fat
CUTTING-my dad_your getting way to skinny.
ergh you cant win lol.

and the other day the girlfriend goes" oh your putting wait on, wheres the 6 pac going, and u know i try to explain about bulking only god knows how many times ive tried to explain. lol
I know exactly what you're talking about. And to present another side of it:

When I'm doing well, it's cause I'm on steroids and have good genetics. When I am not doing so well, it's because I'm lazy.

I know exactly what you're talking about. And to present another side of it:

When I'm doing well, it's cause I'm on steroids and have good genetics. When I am not doing so well, it's because I'm lazy.

lol "it's cause I'm on steroids " :D
some ppl r just born to drag ppl down.

My friends are really nice about it and one of them has started running more. They are supportive and don't say anything. They razz me whenever I bring my gallon of water with me. Which is a little bit hokey but hey, instead of 4 nalgenes I just need to drink one jug.

The real problem is my mom. Basically if I want her to support me in it I have to just go ahead and do it until she finally sees what comes of it and then she gets behind me. It really aggravates me when she nags me about either:

A) Eating us out of house and home!!! (Actual quotation)
B) Your not eating enough!!


What really gets me are the people who look at me when I tell them I lift weights or that I am bulking/cutting and basically give me that "your a freaking idiot" look. People who razz and make fun of me never mind the fact that they are 30 lbs overweight and couldn't do 10 minutes of light exercise to save their own self!!

Getting into the Healthy lifestyle at a young age brings it's owns set of challenges. But I don't regret it at all as I'm sure none of you do.

I feel like lifting something.

20 years ago I was teased. Now everyone just accepts it and I find most people try to accomodate my "special needs" at parties and such. It helps that I tell them I eat a "diabetic diet" - vague enough that I can pleasantly turn down most things and they don't feel quite so threatened or offended by refusal to eat things I don't want to :D

I suppose I count myself blessed. My family is all very healthy and fitness conscious when it comes to food and excersize. My friends are generall supportive as well...one has even joined the forums recently, but has not posted yet...just a lurker...so I am calling out BISHOP1218 right here and now!

I tend to surround myself with family and friends that are supportive and positive towards life in general. Some of my friends dont care much about their health, but I never get resistance from them regarding my own. I guess that is good...

My friends don't really say or think much about it one way or another. They know I train, but that's about it. But I've also always played competitive sports. Some have made some comments more recently since I've been putting on a lot of size. But none negative really. Some more comments from my girlfriend's friends and my sister's friends. Most postive which I've really enjoyed. Some think I'm getting too big though.