Ok here goes - I have been listening to my boyfriend lecture/complain off and on for the last year that I "have issues" b/c I always feel the need to have a beverage in my hand (calorie free 98% of the time) and that I shouldn't feel the need to work out "twice a day" (I am currently doing 45 min of cardio AM 5 days/wk and PM weights 3 days/week and PM cardio 1-2 days plus any extra cardio I can find the time to cram in - power walks, cycling, brisk walking, casual biking - sometimes to exhaustion and a lot of times with guilt when I just can't do it for whatever reason. He also tells me I should be drinking juice or milk instead of diet beverages - this doesn't make a lot of sense to me since they seem almost like "empty calories" b/c they are calorie laden and they don't satisfy hunger. (I know they are not bad for you and I DO use skim milk in my coffee and I will have the rare glass of OJ - there just isn't room for "glasses" of them when you are restricting calorie intake)

Anyway - I am beginning to wonder if maybe I DO have emotional issues with food and exercise too much - sometime I think that for as much exercise as I do I should look more athletic than I do (or think I do). Am 3 out of 10 times I always think I didn't "do enough" at the gym.

To address all this - I was considering Weight Watchers and was looking for opionions from people here on whether or not WW adequately addresses the emotional aspect of eating to be worth my time or is there is a better alternative. I don't want to see a shrink or a psychologist 1) All they seem to want to do is prescribe drugs which I won't take and 2) there are only 2 in my area that are on my insurance 1 of which has a waiting list to get in and the other is not taking new patients.

I am currently 35 YO, 5'4", 135#, about 18%-20% BF (15% of which is located directly on my thighs/butt). I began in 2001, lost 30# the first year and then an additional 10# the next year - have maintained in roughly the same range since.

My 5 "in the gym" cardio sessions are 1 Moderate steady rate cardio, 2 20 min HIIT with an additional 25 min moderate steady rate and 1 30 min HIIT with an additional 15-20 min moderate steady rate. The sixth day is something outside like running or 20-25 mile bike ride (11-14 mph). I sometimes take day off or have an active recovery day - this depends on my mood on that day and I have managed to go 2 sometimes 3 weeks with no days off not because I tried to do that - but I basically forgot - the winters in N VA suck and you are stuck indoors on your arse - and once the weather opens up - all I want to do is be outside doing something. My weight training is currently BFL-style with some restrictions placed on the lower body exercises I can do b/c of a bad knee

My diet is based off BFL but is not full on anymore - I shoot for 1300-1400 cal/day 6 days a week with a free day that I sometimes take full advantage of and sometimes do not - I sleep about 7 hours night most nights of the week and take supplements (multi, extra B, calcium, flax, 7-keto, magnesium, C, glucosamine).

If I had a goal I wanted to reach that I thought I could reach, it would be to lose another 5-10# and have smaller hips/thighs - dunno how realistic that is since you can already see my ribs clearly if I raise my arms over my head but my rear is still 39" (@$%& pear shape)

I have read quite a few posts here and the replies always seem well thought out and honest yet kind. I look forward to everyone's feedback.

BJ :eek:

I imagine you're looking for women's opinions on this based on where you posted, but what I thought reading you post was:

1. Edit - Duh - She did mention lifting weights - wtg!.
2. She should be drinking more water rather than non-calorie flavored stuff. (But juice and milk aren't going to save her)
3. She doesn't sound fat at all - and most women complain about the size of their hips and butts - its normal.
4. I don't think you're going overboard with cardio.
5. Your boyfriend sound typical of someone who's had it easy (read: ectomorph) and probably never gained any weight.

Have you ever read up on Krista Scott (http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html)? A lot of women rave about her site. I read through it once too and she seems to know what she's doing.

Seriously... lighten up on yourself. :tucool:

You might want to try eating MORE calories with all that cardio and weight training you are doing. I am about your age and height, and I'm doing a similar type program, diet drinks included, but I'm about 122-123 and around 15-16%BF -- and I eat 2200+/day. If I go down to around 1500-1700 I lose weight, which I am not trying to do at the moment. You'll burn out quick and probably stop menstruating doing all that exercise without enough food (as I did), so I'd either up the calories or cut out some of that cardio. Or both. :)

Post a sample menu and maybe we can help there also.

I think you should up your calories to at least 1500-1600cals per day with all of the exercise that you are doing.
Do you want to eat 1300cals for the rest of your life? I know I wouldn't.
And you should try drinking more water and less diet drinks. It's just so much healthier for you.
Your commitment to training is excellent :tu:

I hesitate to say it, but, first of all, consider that some of the advice you get on here may be coming from people who are suffering from disordered eating and don't know it. Most people on this forum are pretty well balanced, but I'm pretty sure that if Weight Watchers has a forum and you posted this thread there, you'd get quite different answers. If the consensus here is that there's nothing weird about your behavior, it doesn't mean that other segments of the population wouldn't consider your behavior weird.

:d_rolleye

Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, do I personally think you "have issues"? Maybe.

Nothing wrong with always having a beverage in your hand, but there's something wrong with feeling the need to have a beverage in your hand. Also, nothing wrong with working out twice a day, but something wrong with feeling guilty about not working out twice a day.

Should you be drinking juice? Not if you're consuming plenty of fruits and vegetables and don't enjoy drinking juice.
Should you be drinking milk? Not if you're getting plenty of calcium and don't enjoy drinking milk.

I wouldn't judge an eating disorder based on the foods that you eat, but based on your attitude towards your diet. I wouldn't judge an exercise disorder based on how much you exercise, but rather, based on your attitude towards exercise.

Unfortunately, I don't know anything about Weight Watchers and I don't know much about psychologists. If you do have a problem, it doesn't seem to me to be severe enough to merit visiting a psychologist. Unless, of course, you think that speaking with a psychologist could help you.

I really hope people don't use this thread to advise you on how to lose 5 to 10 pounds. There's nothing wrong with having a goal of losing 10 pounds, but if you won't be happy unless you lose 10 pounds, then that's a problem.

:) I’m delighted to see that Guava has posted her thoughts even though she was reluctant to do so. I agree with everything she said and feel her thinking is sound and right on target. Just another opinion…..food for thought! :)

Have you ever thought about doing some kind of organized sport? Joining a city softball league, or something like that. I have found that being involved with a sport, I tend to be more concerned about my "sport specific" skills than what I look like. It is a nice distraction. :lol: A couple of years ago I would have been more obsessed about what my body looks like. Now I just worry about improving aspects of my game.

Some other ideas:
Swimming
running - maybe set a goal to run a road race

Anyway, just some ideas.

I imagine you're looking for women's opinions on this based on where you posted...:

I put the thread here because women usually understand right away where you are coming from on emotional issues with food - but if you were interested enough to read it and reply - I am interested in what you have to say!


5. Your boyfriend sound typical of someone who's had it easy (read: ectomorph) and probably never gained any weight.:

Very perceptive and very dead on - he had to eat like a horse and lift hard when he was a younger man to build/keep muscle - not so much now - but he still loses it pretty quickly and has to work hard to get it back

Thank you also for recommending the website - I had visited it before but not read an awful lot - I spent more time reading today and I can see why the gals are raving!

BJ

I hesitate to say it, but, first of all, consider that some of the advice you get on here may be coming from people who are suffering from disordered eating and don't know it. Most people on this forum are pretty well balanced, but I'm pretty sure that if Weight Watchers has a forum and you posted this thread there, you'd get quite different answers. If the consensus here is that there's nothing weird about your behavior, it doesn't mean that other segments of the population wouldn't consider your behavior weird.:

Point taken - my eating IS disordered a bit - but since it has gotten me this far and kept me here (appearance-wise) I am ok with that - I am not trying to be "normal" according to the majority of society b/c - let's be honest - 60%-70% are somewhere between overweight and obese, sedentary and on a path to future health problems I desparately wish to avoid.



...but there's something wrong with feeling the need to have a beverage in your hand.... but something wrong with feeling guilty about not working out twice a day....judge an eating disorder based on the foods that you eat, but based on your attitude towards your diet.... judge an exercise disorder based on how much you exercise, but rather, based on your attitude towards exercise.

This is what he is talking about - the attitude - and what I am interested in finding a method to control. I think the think with a beverage in my hand started when I quit smoking in 1999 - now that I have thought about it some - I made a conscious choice at the time to replace the cigarette with diet soda/tea so as not to gain weight from eating

don't enjoy drinking juice....don't enjoy drinking milk :

Not that much - but I do eat fruits/veggies and other dairy sources - yogurt - cottage cheese and I supplement with 1200 mg calcium/day


Weight Watchers was the first one that came to mind - I should get brave and ask some of the women in my office this question since they actually use the program - I just usually get the "what are you worried about it - you look fine" but you hesitate to get into the emotional issues you may have with stuff with co-workers especially if they are just acquaintances

I do appreciate your thoughts though - it is hard to be objective sometimes when the issue directly involves yourself!

BJ

Have you ever thought about doing some kind of organized sport?

Actually I hadn't thought of that - due to a bum knee and advice received from my last therapist (who was an ANGEL to put up with me!) to avoid anything with sudden stops, lateral motion or pivoting motion.

I WISH I could run 5K's but the aggravation from training for this sport is how I discovered my grumpy knee in the first place. I can run on dirt/sand/gravel but no sidewalks or pavement - I want to run so much though I am thinking about training on the appropriate surface and then just run the race on pavement

Biking though is kinda what I replaced running with - I could always look into the Team in Training for bikes. Good Suggestion - thank you!

BJ

I think you should up your calories to at least 1500-1600cals per day with all of the exercise that you are doing. :

You and Featherz both say the same thing basically - I will have to look back at my measurement logs to see what the stats looked like the last time my calories were higher - they were last fall - then the holidays and a cruise hit and I had to go low to get the fat off !


[/QUOTE]Your commitment to training is excellent :tu:[/QUOTE]

Thanks!! This is one of the things I am proud off - my consistency in exercise no matter what!

BJ

I am about your age and height, and I'm doing a similar type program, diet drinks included, but I'm about 122-123 and around 15-16%BF -- and I eat 2200+/day. If I go down to around 1500-1700 I lose weight, which I am not trying to do at the moment.

Ok - call me slow - but it just hit me this morning what you said - how on EARTH did you get to this point !?!?!! I understand all about calcing BMR etc - but all that says my BMR is 1850-2150 (about)

What is your body type? I think I am the one that holds fat easily but at the same time, if I lift right - I get strong pretty fast for a woman (i think anyway). I forgive me - but I can never remember the names to the body types. :rolleyes:

BJ

What is your body type? I think I am the one that holds fat easily but at the same time, if I lift right - I get strong pretty fast for a woman (i think anyway). I forgive me - but I can never remember the names to the body types. :rolleyes:

BJ

Endomorph (one who stores fat very easily)
Mesomorph (one who gains muscle fairly easy)
Ectomorph (one who tends to be "frail" and doesn't gain weight easily at all)

You sound very Endo-Meso - you predominance is probably Endo
(like me, but I'm a guy :D )


I agree with what Guava said above (she's so smart) - your attitude is definately a big part of what's worrying the boyfriend. But at the same time you seem to have amazing clarity and I dont consider any of your actions with diet of exercise extreme (- which I thought was a bigger indicator of a real disorder - but I am no doctor)

Best of luck to you.

- your attitude is definately a big part of what's worrying the boyfriend. But at the same time you seem to have amazing clarity and I dont consider any of your actions with diet of exercise extreme

LOL - the clarity comes from being a chronic "overthinker" I believe - really I have a little mental "trick" I do - when something I have been thinking on has not yielded any useful results - I tuck it in the back of my head and let it roll around until it comes back out - usually with a better result than worrying it to death. If it doesn't come back out - well it wasn't really that important I have found.

BJ