I would love to know i'm not alone in this because if i am I'm going to a shrink or soemthing.

how crazy have you gotten because of being in love...either trying to fix a relationship...being so into someone it borders on insane....whatever.

I feel like i'm losing my friggin mind with my girl...together 2 1/2 years...I want to marry her so i'm trying so hard to fix our relationship, and last night I just felt like I was losing it...knowing full well i didnt feel like my normal self...thinking shes cheating on me, getting all defensive....worst phone conversation EVER....UGH just insane.

Anyone else or should i go rent out a padded room?

If you have any doubts or shadows of doubts in your mind, you shouldn't marry this girl.

Break up, spend at least six months being single and rediscovering yourself, then go looking again.

-Allen

Well, I generally disagree with akm3... I've been through some $hit in my relationships, and I truly think hard work pays off (just as it does physically as John Stone and many others have proven here).

I will promise you this though bro. . . Females aged 20-25 have absolutely no idea what they want. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement that someone will come in and say "I'm 22 and I know what I want - so you're an idiot Dave!"... They want everything all at once nonstop.

They want a romantic. They want prince charming.

They want a badass. They want a take-no-prisoners fighter.

They want an intellectual. They want deep communication.

They want a materialist. They want the finest things in life.

^^^^^
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?!? Find me a girl 20-25 that doesn't want ALL OF IT. A younger girl just wants a guy. An older woman knows what she can get.

My best advice to you, the thing that helped my girl and I get through some real rough times, was to flat out ask her 'what do you want in this relationship?'

Just brace yourself 'cause she might say 'I want it to stop'... Hopefully she won't, she'll be frank, and y'all can work stuff out.

Dave (wishes you luck)

I've gotten pretty crazy trying to salvage a failed relationship due to distance/separation. Sometimes your judgement and reasoning are blinded by your emotions.

If you're in love, you don't have to worry about her cheating. Love doesn't come with strings or conditions, and most importantly, it doesn't come with a lack of trust. If there is any doubt, here's your wake up call: it's not love. It's obsession.

Love is so powerful that you will want what's best for her. You won't try to make her love you, because you'll want it freely and you'll want what is best for her ... and if she doesn't love you back, then it's obviously not best for you.

Yes, I have been obsessed and crazy and jealous, but I am also in love, and it sounds nothing like what you are describing - you sound like you are selfishly obsessed.

Jeremy

I would love to know i'm not alone in this because if i am I'm going to a shrink or soemthing.

how crazy have you gotten because of being in love...either trying to fix a relationship...being so into someone it borders on insane....whatever.

I feel like i'm losing my friggin mind with my girl...together 2 1/2 years...I want to marry her so i'm trying so hard to fix our relationship, and last night I just felt like I was losing it...knowing full well i didnt feel like my normal self...thinking shes cheating on me, getting all defensive....worst phone conversation EVER....UGH just insane.

Anyone else or should i go rent out a padded room?

Ask yourself this question and be brutally honest with yourself:

Is she your best friend?

Or do you "love" her because it fills a need, is a posession, keeps you from being lonely, makes you feel important, etc. I could go on.

Is she your best friend?

If so, then you have the foundation of a great relationship.

Love doesn't come with strings or conditions, and most importantly, it doesn't come with a lack of trust.

Word.

This post says it all.

-R

you sound like you are selfishly obsessed.

Jeremy

you're nothing if not blunt Jeremy, but those words def. made me think.

i've since snapped out of whatever haze i was in that night...i had never thought or freaked out like that before, in my heart i absolutely trust her....long story short i was dealing with a ton of other shit and everything overwhelmed me...me freaking out was never really about her or us.

but i guess to a point "selfishly obsessed" isnt exactly inaccurate....i did promise her a long time ago that i truly do only want her to be happy with or without me...just makes me nuts to know that my past mistakes may never have a chance to be fixed....she is hanging in there though.

when you see that someone who you can honestly see spending the rest of your life with slipping away because you were too stupid or immature to see it....not a good scene.

i would disagree with the selfish though...i'm putting the ball in her court on everything now...but i need to chill out a lot more.

and the reason cheating even entered my already rattled brain is because she wants to take time off from the whole sex thing....which i totally respect...although i'm 23 and lets face it...horny...this is has been going for 6 months now....long time ago i had someone who I thought loved me very much, do pretty much the same thing, found out later she was screwing everything that moves. Now, that girl and my current girlfriend are two COMPLETELY different people, but can you see how I would be a little gun shy? How that thought could just enter my mind for a minute....I defy anyone who has been bitten once like that not be a little defensive, i learned a very important lesson that day, anyone is capable of anything at any time.

the reason cheating even entered my already rattled brain is because she wants to take time off from the whole sex thing....which i totally respect...although i'm 23

Look, just stop. Just stop right there. This is crazy!

I know from these threads already that I'm a little more cynical about this stuff than most of the guys here, and that a lot of that probably comes from the fact that a lot of them are happily married whereas I'm only 24 and single, but COME ON!!

Let's just look at that one more time.

she wants to take time off from the whole sex thing....which i totally respect

This blows my mind. It frickin' blows my mind.

wait, here's the part that REALLY blows my mind.

this is has been going for 6 months now

Wow.

Okay, let me get this straight - you date a girl for two years, you're not married or anything, no kids, you're in your early to mid twenties, and after two years, she decides to completely deny you sex for 6 months. At the end of six months, for some bizarre reason, you still consider yourself to be dating this woman, and you are worried that she is "cheating" on you with somebody else.

If she cuts off all sexual contact for six months, and then has sex with somebody else, it's not called "cheating." It's called "moving on." Yes, I know relationship formalities like breakups and such are important, but when they speak so extremely against the facts of the situation as this, you've got to open your eyes and take a look at what's going on!

Forget about "respecting" her decision. Of course you "respect" her decision. What else would you do? You're not going to assault her or anything. That all goes without saying. But that doesn't mean you have to go along with it! I can't imagine she actually wants you to both agree to that condition and stick around as her boyfriend. The two are just fundamentally incompatible.

When this kind of situation develops and endures, the only reasonable, respectful, rational choices are to change her mind or walk. If you are willing to accept those circumstances and still dote on her, I just plain don't know what to tell you.

The "respect" you should be concerned with is your "self-respect." I understand why you would cowtow to this absurd demand, tuck your tail between your legs, and sit around alone, agitated, and celibate, worrying about being cuckolded like some 17th century aristocrat, but I hope you understand why I call it absurd.

Unless I've fundamentally misunderstood the timeline, this woman needs to be dismissed, and harshly, so that she at least thinks twice before doing this to anybody else.

When this kind of situation develops and endures, the only reasonable, respectful, rational choices are to change her mind or walk. If you are willing to accept those circumstances and still dote on her, I just plain don't know what to tell you.

The "respect" you should be concerned with is your "self-respect." I understand why you would cowtow to this absurd demand, tuck your tail between your legs, and sit around alone, agitated, and celibate, worrying about being cuckolded like some 17th century aristocrat, but I hope you understand why I call it absurd.



Just want to pipe in with my disagreement here. It may be that she is the type to put you on hold and go on out and have flings with every male on 2 legs. But she may NOT be. This is a HUMAN BEING we're talking about, and you don't know what drove her to ask that. I won't go into my background, but I will tell you right here and now that there are some darn good reasons for a request like that, and it IS possible that she is operating off one of them.

In addition to that - WHY is SEX a matter of a man's self-respect? She either puts out, or he's gone? Maybe it's a bigger notion to realize that he respected HER, and by doing so respected the relationship - because it isn't all about him. I'm not devaluing the importance of a physical relationship in a serious commited couple - but when you place such importance on it, you devalue the complete relationship as a whole.

That being said - make sure you know her reasons for why she asked for the "break" and what is going on. And if you feel freaked out and upset like that again, there is definetly something wrong. As it was stated before - love comes without strings, and with complete trust. Otherwise it's just entertainment, and it's not a positive situation. And if you are having a bad "day" and you immediately shift the frustrated feelings onto her in that fashion, that isn't a healthy relationship either. Partners are not "safe targets".

Every person deserves a HEALTHY relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean sex everytime someone wants it, or a complete absence of it. It means respecting the person enough to allow them their eccentricities, meet their needs as best you are able, have your needs met, complete trust, and understanding whenever possible. Sometimes 1 person's needs will outweigh the other, the balance is constantly shifting. This doesn't mean there is a problem, it's just a fact of life.

Trust, Respect, Understanding. If you don't have those things, and give those things, then something is definetly needing to be addressed.

20 somethings should be getting it on like freakin rabbits.

It is nature.

Dave (thinks physical intimacy is just as important as emotional or mental)

Look, just stop. Just stop right there. This is crazy!


Unless I've fundamentally misunderstood the timeline, this woman needs to be dismissed, and harshly, so that she at least thinks twice before doing this to anybody else.


lol its cool dude, trust me i've had the exact same thoughts but the timeline goes like this, while we were still living together is when the six months started....and then it wasnt really formal..we were having problems and the sex just kinda stopped...even when I tried she would turn me down...that shit hurt so i stopped trying...but we never talked about it..its just the way things where.

Now that we've moved out and to seperate apartments (1 month so far) we are trying to fix things, i tried to initiate sex again, and she said she's still not ready so I told her I wont try again for awhile to keep things comfortable, I told her its her i'm in love with not sex..she seemed skeptical but jeez if i'm still with her after 6 months of no sex dont know what kinda proof she needs.

When the no sex thing started I would get really angry b/c she never talked to me, but now its like we are starting over again so i'm willing to work on the relationship first then sex...but like i said I am 23 so naturally from time to time i thank god for cold showers.

From going from the sex crazed deviant i used to be to not having sex with my own girlfriend and still honestly and completely only fantasizing about her and noone else...thats one of the reasons I know I'm crazy about her.

... you sound like you are selfishly obsessed.

Uh, this quote applies.

Kyra layeth the smack down on your candy ass with the alternative viewpoint. That was ... great. Well put. I'd never have seen it like that.

SP - holy cow! Hormone alert, man. Re-read your post, bud. I don't think I've seen the word "sex" typed more in a post yet. This site's going to come up if someone Googles the word. Go rub one out, come back in and chill.

Kyra could be right. Maybe the girl actually needs some time. It can happen. Either that or she's contemplating a restraining order. :whistle:

-R

EDIT - You know what? Never mind. It ain't worth it.

Uh, this quote applies.

Kyra layeth the smack down on your candy ass with the alternative viewpoint. That was ... great. Well put. I'd never have seen it like that.

SP - holy cow! Hormone alert, man. Re-read your post, bud. I don't think I've seen the word "sex" typed more in a post yet. This site's going to come up if someone Googles the word. Go rub one out, come back in and chill.

Kyra could be right. Maybe the girl actually needs some time. It can happen. Either that or she's contemplating a restraining order. :whistle:

-R

hmmm...correct me if i'm wrong but i dont remember insulting you any time in the past...i'm asking for advice not someone to openly ridicule me...i'd tell ya what you can do with that post but you can use your imagination.

hmmm...correct me if i'm wrong but i dont remember insulting you any time in the past...i'm asking for advice not someone to openly ridicule me...i'd tell ya what you can do with that post but you can use your imagination.

You took it as ridicule; it was simply a jovial reply with an agreement with Kyra's alternative viewpoint. I've always considered you a good, contributing member of the community. Sorry you took it wrong.

I think you're a bit obsessed with her, with your sexuality or lack thereof, and that's that. My apologies if a light hearted jab set you off.

-R

You took it as ridicule; it was simply a jovial reply with an agreement with Kyra's alternative viewpoint. I've always considered you a good, contributing member of the community. Sorry you took it wrong.

I think you're a bit obsessed with her, with your sexuality or lack thereof, and that's that. My apologies if a light hearted ja b set you off.

-R

thats just the thing man, i know i feel obessesed with this whole friggin situation, i know its not healthy and i'm trying like hell to get level again...just wanted to know if anyone else had went thru this before and how they got back to normal.

this whole week i've been away for training for work...away from everyone and everything that made me think about the situation and i think its helped, I feel a little more clear headed now, brief moments of clarity....even my best friend has said i've been acting crazy and coming from someone like him you know you're effed up.

didnt mean to snap at ya Streak...i'm from Jerzey wut did you expect? ;)

Maybe what you need is a break - from ALL of it. If getting away helped you clear your head a bit, then maybe a bigger break is what is called for here. It may be that this whole situaiton is unhealthy for both of you - and if that's the case, you really need to get clear of it so you can make an objective decision.

In addition to all of this - have you discussed this with her? She might be feeling the same way. I know that it's hard to face the possibility of not being with the person you feel so strongly about, but if you lose sight of your objectivity and feel like you are in this spiral - it may be the right decision to get out of it.

Damn ,that hurts don't it? I remember when it happened to me years ago I had a copy of the Beatles "For No-one" which I learned by heart and every time I had a grief-burst I would sing along to it and that would make the pain even worse...It was a good way to beat myself up for failing to be the one she wanted......at the time there were no other gods above her.....when we split up there was a feeling of helplessness that was worse than the pain.....the realization that she's gone and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.....It was the groveling I hated myself for...I kept trying to patch things up and the more i made a fool of myself the angrier i got. So, after patching up my ego I decided to walk away from love for awhile....which is definitely not the same thing as walking away from getting laid. I don't recall ever walking away from getting laid but as Tina Turner said "What's Love Got To Do With It?........Love doesn't come with a 90-day return policy unfortunately so if you get bit and she dumps you it's gonna hurt a bit...I found that after let go of the "love" thing a bit I actually enjoyed life more...in a way the pain actually propelled me to greater heights....and of course, down the road there's always someone else......Who was it said "Love don't love nobody"?...................buuuut,at the time I'd see her with another guy and damn did that hurt...damn did that hurt.....damn,damn,damn!!

gotta vent.....well this one is over and done with.

Things came to a head so we decided we'd take real time off, i told her i'd wait for her to call or email or whatever i'd back off.....this was 2 weeks ago....i had to hear from her mom of all people that shes already seeing someone else...he's already slept over her place and her moms place.....i'm trying so hard to keep focused but i feel so fucking lied to. She couldnt even tell me herself i had to hear it from her mom. After pouring every thing i had into us, really truly feeling she was the one and now its just done....can you ever really trust your instincts ever again? when somethign that felt so right is just not? When your ABSOLUTE best was not even good enough?

i still can't say that I hate her but i'm so raged right now, any more deep breaths i'm going to pass out. I want to hate her, tell her to go fuck herself, but i know i'm only angry because i'm in so much pain. i just feel so lied to, like she gave up before we really got a chance to start over, i suppose that should make me feel better, she wasnt worth it if she would give up so quickly but it doesnt.

I'm so sorry. I know maybe right now you can´t understand and see this but, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that couldn't even be honest with you and tell you the truth?That it had to be someone else telling you what she owe you?I know it hurts, i know that you now feel that you can't go on or that you could never be happy again but trust me you will. You'll find the one, the real one, someone you know would be your wife, that you'll trust and that you'll take care of and that will love you no matter what. If she was capable of this maybe she isn't really that mature or maybe she never felt the same way as you. I wish you the best of luck and never lose hope of being happy. We are here for you so be free to ask help or vent whenever you feel like. Keep yourself busy and invest the next months in yourself, you really deserve it. Keep in mind that the most important thing in your life is you.You are you with a girl or without a girl. Take care and I hope I helped you.

andreia

Shadow my heart goes out to you brother. As you know I'm in a very similiar boat. It sucks, and you're probably questioning everything you did and asking why over and over again. But know this you know you tried everything you could and that is all you can ask of yourself. As much as it sucks you should be able to gain some sort of closure now and move on. Don't do anything irrational because she's not worth it. Take some time to yourself, collect your thoughts and move in a positive direction.

You're in my prayers.

Take care and I hope I helped you.

andreia

you did, was only looking to vent but thanks for the response.

Don't do anything irrational because she's not worth it. Take some time to yourself, collect your thoughts and move in a positive direction.

i know man, but i'd be lying if at the lowest of times thru all of this i havent had stupid thoughts. I've decided to throw myself into martial arts (http://www.kravmaga.com/) again, the school closest to me has classes every day so at least i'll be busy. what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger right?

Amen brother!

[QUOTEwhat doesnt kill you only makes you stronger right?[/QUOTE]

I remember when I was going through the exact same thing...and is sucked hard. If you feel the way that I did, then there are no words that will make you feel better. I only hope that you deal with this anger in a positive way (and taking karate classes is an excellent way). I can only give you some advice: resist all urges to contact her in any way, to 'run into' her, to have any contact with her of any kind. The best revenge is to live well. Take this time to concentrate on you, do what you've never been able to, call old friends and have a good time. Resist the urge of just feeling down and wanting to be alone. Stay busy and you'll realize that you don't need that person to be happy. Again, I probably wouldn't have listened to this advice when my gf left me, but just know that when you're ready you'll follow it. Hang in there.

Sorry it didn't turn out well. Just remember in the future that, if you have any doubts or shadows of doubts, then you aren't with the right person and you should leave (see first reply in the thread)

The good news is you are better off without her, dust yourself off and STAY SINGLE FOR A BIT don't rush into another relationship.

Rediscover yourself and maybe WRITE DOWN an objective list of what you are looking for in a partner, so you can objectively evaluate prospects against the list. You'll be glad you did.

-Allen

Good advice.

Sorry it didn't turn out well. Just remember in the future that, if you have any doubts or shadows of doubts, then you aren't with the right person and you should leave (see first reply in the thread)

The good news is you are better off without her, dust yourself off and STAY SINGLE FOR A BIT don't rush into another relationship.

Rediscover yourself and maybe WRITE DOWN an objective list of what you are looking for in a partner, so you can objectively evaluate prospects against the list. You'll be glad you did.

-Allen

I will promise you this though bro. . . Females aged 20-25 have absolutely no idea what they want. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement that someone will come in and say "I'm 22 and I know what I want - so you're an idiot Dave!"... They want everything all at once nonstop.

They want a romantic. They want prince charming.

They want a badass. They want a take-no-prisoners fighter.

They want an intellectual. They want deep communication.

They want a materialist. They want the finest things in life.

^^^^^
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?!? Find me a girl 20-25 that doesn't want ALL OF IT. A younger girl just wants a guy. An older woman knows what she can get.


Dave (wishes you luck)


Hey, I'm an older woman and I want all of that too! :D It's just by the time some men get older, they can give all of that (yes--romantic and badass too :nod: )

well as messed up as i am right now, i emailed her, she emailed back saying " I will talk to you at some point.." wtf is that about? some point? after 3 years i think i'm owed at least 10 minutes of face time, so i sent her a text message that this whole thing is insane, either we talk today after work or i'm walking away, i'm not being treated as an afterthought, she didnt respond, sent her one more asking if she was going to want to talk to me, cuz i'm not waiting outside for her like some stalker...still nothing...

when this first started i wrote a letter to her, saying goodbye, pouring everything i had into it, and I kept it with me in my wallet, hoping i would never have to give it to her, i also gave her this promise "contract", a list of things i promised i would do for her to make things right because i'm so in love with her...one of the promises was that i would keep a copy of it with me at all times so i would never forget what i promised her...so i took both of the letters out of my wallet, and put them under her windshield wipers on her car and drove away. its going to hurt more than i can express to either stay or go, but i had to make a decision.

now i have to figure out to pick up the pieces, and figure out why the woman i fell in love with doesnt exist anymore, b/c i have no idea who this girl is anymore. maybe it'll be easier just to hate her.

If you told her "either we talk today after work or i'm walking away" and she doesn't contact you then you need to stick to that and just walk away. I know it will be hard for you but really it is going to be much harder if you don't. Good luck.

He's right. I told my wife you either move back in or I'll file for divorce. She went and filed.

If you told her "either we talk today after work or i'm walking away" and she doesn't contact you then you need to stick to that and just walk away. I know it will be hard for you but really it is going to be much harder if you don't. Good luck.

now i have to figure out to pick up the pieces, and figure out why the woman i fell in love with doesnt exist anymore, b/c i have no idea who this girl is anymore. maybe it'll be easier just to hate her.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the truth is a lot less mystical than that.

The woman you fell in love with still exists, she's just with somebody else now. Hell, it happens. Nothing lasts forever, even cold November Rain. The only constant is change. Even in relationships that last a lifetime, things are constantly changing and evolving.

Post-breakup revisionist history is a difficult phenomenon to resist, but the universe doesn't come up for a vote every time somebody changes his or her mind about something.

You know who she is, you just don't like the fact that she left you. Which is understandable. Very understandable.

A sense of the causality of things can be very helpful. It bears repeating that you feel lied to because she lied to you. You feel betrayed because she betrayed you. These things may or may not have been surprises, sure, but they're not mysterious. You know other people who've gone through this - you know how it happened, and you can see how distraught it made them, but most importantly, you know that both people do continue to go on living their lives.

If you thought the girl wasn't capable of doing what she did, if you think any girl or any guy isn't capable of doing this specific thing, you're just plain mistaken. Anybody can break up with you, leave you, cheat on you, any of it, at any time for any reason at all or no reason at all. It's not even that big a deal except when it happens to you; it happens every single day to at least one person you've met in your life.

You can either take this information and be despondent because that fantasy of 100% certaintly in the future has been shattered, or you can see it as something that makes good relationships that much more precious - something that reminds you to gather ye rosebuds while ye may. And that makes you a little wiser in the ways of love.

You always have to be responsible for yourself and your own happiness first, because you're the only one who's always going to have to deal with you. Investing everything you have into a relationship is never a good idea over the long term - because they are more fragile eggs and a much more precarious basket than most people are brave enough to admit.

It's very "kung fu movie" - in order to truly fight, you have to not be afraid to die. You have to go into battle knowing how horrible it is, but still go into battle, because victory is that important. To put your heart on the line over and over again you have to not be afraid to have it broken. You have to know that it can be broken - you have to know that bad fortune can strike at any opportunity and dash to pieces anything you've worked on - and you still have to have the balls and the guts to go out there and get it done.

It's an adventure, man. It takes a tough man with a lot of scars to really be free.

Or just somebody with sick good luck.

But you should never be too discouraged if you find yourself without sick good luck - because when even a minor hiccup hits those lucky guys, they fall to pieces. Among the unlucky are the strongest people on earth.

I'm feeling for you - hang in there!

And for God's sake, let her go. Don't chase her. Don't call her. Don't wait for her. Don't try to get back with her. Don't even email her unsolicited. Do yourself a favor, have a little self respect, put on some loud music, and leave her behind.

There's a lot more road out there, man. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the truth is a lot less mystical than that.

The woman you fell in love with still exists, she's just with somebody else now. Hell, it happens. Nothing lasts forever, even cold November Rain. The only constant is change. Even in relationships that last a lifetime, things are constantly changing and evolving.

Post-breakup revisionist history is a difficult phenomenon to resist, but the universe doesn't come up for a vote every time somebody changes his or her mind about something.

You know who she is, you just don't like the fact that she left you. Which is understandable. Very understandable.

A sense of the causality of things can be very helpful. It bears repeating that you feel lied to because she lied to you. You feel betrayed because she betrayed you. These things may or may not have been surprises, sure, but they're not mysterious. You know other people who've gone through this - you know how it happened, and you can see how distraught it made them, but most importantly, you know that both people do continue to go on living their lives.

If you thought the girl wasn't capable of doing what she did, if you think any girl or any guy isn't capable of doing this specific thing, you're just plain mistaken. Anybody can break up with you, leave you, cheat on you, any of it, at any time for any reason at all or no reason at all. It's not even that big a deal except when it happens to you; it happens every single day to at least one person you've met in your life.

You can either take this information and be despondent because that fantasy of 100% certaintly in the future has been shattered, or you can see it as something that makes good relationships that much more precious - something that reminds you to gather ye rosebuds while ye may. And that makes you a little wiser in the ways of love.

You always have to be responsible for yourself and your own happiness first, because you're the only one who's always going to have to deal with you. Investing everything you have into a relationship is never a good idea over the long term - because they are more fragile eggs and a much more precarious basket than most people are brave enough to admit.

It's very "kung fu movie" - in order to truly fight, you have to not be afraid to die. You have to go into battle knowing how horrible it is, but still go into battle, because victory is that important. To put your heart on the line over and over again you have to not be afraid to have it broken. You have to know that it can be broken - you have to know that bad fortune can strike at any opportunity and dash to pieces anything you've worked on - and you still have to have the balls and the guts to go out there and get it done.

It's an adventure, man. It takes a tough man with a lot of scars to really be free.

Or just somebody with sick good luck.

But you should never be too discouraged if you find yourself without sick good luck - because when even a minor hiccup hits those lucky guys, they fall to pieces. Among the unlucky are the strongest people on earth.

I'm feeling for you - hang in there!

And for God's sake, let her go. Don't chase her. Don't call her. Don't wait for her. Don't try to get back with her. Don't even email her unsolicited. Do yourself a favor, have a little self respect, put on some loud music, and leave her behind.

There's a lot more road out there, man. You ain't seen nothin' yet.


That's quite possibly the most insightful post I've ever read on this forum. Respect.

i want to thank all of you, Pete that post was unreal, thank you.

i've always been a fighter, but i guess even the best get their asses handed to them, but what makes them the best is that they come back for more.

Do yourself a favor, have a little self respect, put on some loud music, and leave her behind.

i was really out of it today, i had skipped my workout yesterday cuz i just couldnt do it, so i taught myself a lesson and made up for it today 2 hours instead of 1 full blast with my Ipod screamin' the whole way. If nothing else since this all started going downhill, i've lost 16 pounds.

FYI for anyone that finds themself in the same frame of mind a GREAT cd to deal with it is Atreyu "Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses" in the liner notes of one of the songs Lip Gloss and Black the lead explains a phrase that he repeats at the end of the song. Live, Love, Burn, Die. To really LIVE experience everything it has to offer, Love because no matter how bad you've been fucked before its the one emotion worth keeping yourself open to, Burn means have a PASSION for something, Burn for it, consume yourself with life, burn with that passion, and Die, accept your mortality and live every day like you were dying.

Music is my greatest rehab for times like this, and my time in the gym is at least a few hours a day that nothing can touch me.

"Your life is a fact. It is right in front of you. Just stop having opinions."